R.I.P. boner and good night's sleep, you will be missed

should have let it watch

>>19007972
You should've asked for an extra hand.

>>19008015
>>19008024
>>19008035
Mock me all you want but remember: this could happen to you too.

>>19007972

Keep the lights closed, go to your bathroom and start masturbating furiously while grunting. Cum on the floor and leave

Ghost will never peep on you again

>>19008039
My sister was creeping on me one time when I was masturbating. Not to get a look but to steal my laptop she was going to do it when she thought I was sleeping but jokes on her I wasn't sleeping at all she stood there staring at me creeping for a bit then as soon as I finished asked me for it. Idk why she didn't just wait till later we had sex a year later.
Oh yeah one crucial point to make I don't have a sister

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>>19008058
>Oh yeah one crucial point to make I don't have a sister
paranormal as fuck bruh

>>19007972
They can't hurt you if you're not afraid.
Lose the fear of death.
You don't have to resort to spirituality for every fucking thing.
Otherwise cast a light spell if the entity seems aggressive. We are energy down to the core. Light can come from within

>>19007972
Uh. That's fucking out there Op. full manifestation, or someone living in your walls. Yikes.

>>19008079
>cast a light spell

I'm not a wizard. How would I do this?

>>19008246
Channel your inner light outwards as a weapon to torment the spirit annoying you. Or even consume it. Belief is the power. It can be anything. I would guess the closest human approximation to how I choose to work is chaos magic. Try this particular vein of magic. It's really working to envision what you believe until you can manifest it at will. It can literally be anything.

>>19008276
So in otherwords sit there feeling happy thoughts and pretend youre actually accomplishing something other than deluded magical thinking.

>>19007972
Similar story minus fapping
>military barracks
>bathroom door sometimes slams shut, shower sometimes turns on
>startles me but military barracks are fuckin old, just figure its shitty plumbing and air pressure
>talking to qt 3.14 cambodian immigrant girl on the phone
>she says "who is talking in the background?"
>"Uhhhhh, nobody, im a Sergeant, I have a room to myself"
>"well somebody is talking anon"
>hair straight on end outta nowhere
>look over shoulder just in time to catch a brief glimpse of a person slam my bathroom door
>kick door open
>nobody there

Girl was a shaman's daughter, they told me to clean my barracks room top to bottom, then scatter salt and sweep it out the door or burn sage. Said its not really magic its just kinda like making a statement saying "gtfo."

Did the salt thing, bathroom door quit doing that thing. Week later:
>getting back to barracks 2 am on saturday
>fellow sergeant outside his room smoking looking freaked out
>sup man
>nothing.
>you look like shit
>yeah, cant sleep
>you alright?
>you aint gonna believe me.
>believe what?
>theres some fuckin ghost or some shit that hangs out in my bathroom and fuckin slams the door when im not looking.

Tell him the salt thing. No idea if he tried it.

>>19008406
No no no, you have to put the work in.
Envision yourself as a god. You must work your will into the universe. You can't just bitch out and expect a single thought will help you. If you must create a ritual do it. whatever helps you materialize this energy. Also, certain things will restoe your magic, such as food, sex, masturbation, music, meditation and some others.
If you seriously can't think of anything find other people's rituals, spells and work on them even if only in simple mimicry and not reproduction. All you need is to get that vision into your mind and have your mouth and your body send out the laws that will form it.
If you can't believe it fine by me. You came here looking for help, I'm being courteous enough to step in and do it.

>>19008406
>comes to x because scared of the dark
>believes homosexual peeping tom ghosts exist but not magic

>>19008473
This is just about the best advice you're gonna get, op. Unless you have wall-mates. If it's wall-mates and they watch you wank, you're already dead, bud.

Seriously though, could also be a break in or your imagination. You on any drugs or have you not been getting enough sleep or anything like that? Did you leave any doors/windows unlocked? Do you own a gun? If no, maybe it's time to invest in one. But that's just my opinion.

>>19008449
lol salt. I would help but I hate the military.
specially yours

>>19008449
Bad NCO! Not checking back with him! Ghost probably got him to kill himself so all your Lances could get a 3 hour class on mental health!

>>19008473
>it only works if you are a true believer, if it doesnt work its because you didnt believe hard enough.

That one has been selling "magic" jewelry and "potions" since people were painting animals in caves. I didnt come here for help, I came here to laugh at your deluded ass.

>>19008520
Why are all of you assuming im OP?

>>19008612
>pretending you're not OP
Sure OP, whatever you say

>>19008568
I got transferred to another battalion. In anycase the desert at 29 palms was a very, VERY wierd place at night.

Me and my buddy used to grab the rifles we kept at a buddies house and go miles out in the desert to try an hunt naagloshii since it was pretty much in the dead middle of the territory they supposedly dwell in.

Never found no skinwalkers but we ran into a startling number of cults out there. We used to stalk em and try to figure out what they were up to.

The answer is: mostly do lots of drugs and scream at rocks.

>>19008610
Have you considered that that anon doesn't believe in the paranormal? It's possible they were convincing op to dispel their own negative ideas about their situation without directly telling them that was their goal. If it was jsut in op's imagination, that would be a pretty practical resolution, I think.

It's also entirely possible that that anon actually believes in the spirit and magic and all that. If so, that's their thing. What ever. Why do you think your opinions of what are real are more meaningful than that strangers? You don't know the truth and you never will. None of us ever will. Stop pretending you know better because it makes you guilty of the same thing these people laugh at. You believe it because you believe it. There's no real reason for you to trust your ideas more than any other person's, but you have faith anyway.

>>19008536
Whats a wall-mate? I cant get nothin on google on em.

>>19008541
Nobody hates the military more than the military pal.

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>>19008276
>consume the spirit

Thanks anon, imma try to gorge myself on the next entity I encounter

[spoiler]Get in mah belly![/spoiler]

>>19008649
I meant like room mates but in your walls, haha.

It's not as uncommon as you might think. Some sloths/creeps are pretty fucking crafty nowadays.

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>>19007972
Just walk around your house masturbating till you see the creepy fuck, then quickly make yourself cum all over it

That'll show it

>>19007972
>>fapping

>has wand in hands
>doesn't cast magic missile towards the entity

>>19008673
This. You need to sexually molest your ghost until its too traumatised to manifest anymore. The haunter must become the haunted.

Guys, im not OP, but I just wanna confirm some stuff before I say anything.

What are cat's interactions/relations to the supernatural?

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>>19008673
Be sure to dirty talk it too, ghosts experience shame and embarrassment too

Tell it how if you get ahold of it you're gonna fuck it in its ectoplasm, and leave it a soggy mess of cum

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>>19008697
Cats can see a much wider spectrum of light than we can, so they can see the things that lurk out of sight to us

If you see your cat staring off at seemingly nothing turn your head and look at the spot with your periferal vision, see if you can't see anything too

Dogs are also great lookouts too (I prefer them to cats in this regard but its a personal preference)

>>19008697
They have spirit eyes, since animals are pure unlike us.
They can see and smell spirits and presences that we can barely feel. In my experience, they are better at it than dogs.

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Is OP kill by spoops?

Jack it for your life OP! I believe in you! Don't focus on sexy (or spooky) thoughts, just enjoy the sensations and let yourself give that fucker a new coat of ectoplasm

>>19008707
dood that is so right, peripheral vision does pick up on some things we can't see directly. I thought that was just me. I wonder if it has to do with the retina's placement or maybe the shape of the eye?

Also cat's will puff up and and go into attack mode when they see these presences.

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>>19008707
>>19008710
Okay, cuz my cat has been obsessed with my wall and cieling latley. Its kinda freaking me out.

Shes doing it right now. Shes been sitting like that for like 2 hours. Shes a 3 month old kitten, she cant friggin sit still for more than 30 seconds, except for when shes staring at my wall.

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>>19008715
Uhhhh.... yeah. Shes doing that now.

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>>19008663
in the sense of cellular consumption as an amoeba would do so, your self or "aura" to cheaply put it can do so. Not in the literal sense of eating, instead similar to feeding wood to a fire.

>>19008731
the presence:
Sorceress, Tongue, Smashing, Breaking Apart, Dropping Off, Bursting Open, Hard Salty Soil, Concubine, Ripe Fruit, Goat, Gypsy.

your kitten:
Clarity, Coat of Mail, Helmet, Armor, Lance, Weapons, Big-bellied, Dryness, Tortoise, Crab, Snail, Mussel, Shell-bearing, Creatures, Tree Dead at the Top, Firm Without, Hollow Within.

I am assuming you have a witch , or its spirit or its envoys watching you.

>>19008731
You're also on edge and she can tell (unless she's like autistic or something). js. many different things could be happening here

>>19007972
>saw something scary sneaking around my house
>instead of investigating, I post about it on 4chan cuz I can't be arsed to get out of my chair

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>>19008742
>>19008745
Well I got a pretty nopey vibe, so we're sleeping in the panic room tonight.

>>19008760
whatever works for you g.
You can always take care of these things later.

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>>19008742
Fuck you anon, I'm gonna try to literally eat a spirit next time

[spoiler]i hope they taste good[/spoiler]

>>19008681
underrated joke

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>>19008778
You need to stop LARPing immediately you fucking loser, you're one of the many reasons this board is at the bottom of the barrel faggot

>>19008760
Nice cat

>>19007972
>doesn't ask the ghost for a boojob
Are you autistic, OP?

>>19008992
^ he's right youknow

I live downstairs from a screaming drunk.

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>>19009096
Yeah, maine coon. Awesome breed, they were used as ship's cats way back. They get huuuuuge, like 35 to 40 pounds, like playing in the water, and play fetch. Sailors used to think they could predict the weather.

>"Come out you spooky ghost slut~!"
>start stroking your shaft seductively
>stand to show off your form
>entice the phantom both verbally and physically
>use your lust and fapmode to overcome any fear
>if the ghost presents itself, take that as all the permission you need
>get yourself inside their form, legs/dick/heads/whatever
>"I'm inside you! Ecto for me babe! You like this corporeal dick don't you!"

you get a nut, and you either get a ghost slut as a fuckbuddy or they're defeated by your ego and other ghost sluts in the area learn of your reputation as a spectral alpha and they'll come to haunt your dick (in a good way)

>>19008685
yeah it's important to let them know that a haunting goes both ways

>>19008742
if he has a witch, the only way to beat a witch is to rape her

better get crackin OP

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>>19007972
>burning incense
meanwhile the shadow is ready to rape you.
only sexing a virgin 14 yo girl can save you now.

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>>19007972
Find that fucker and nut on its face

>>19007972
Everyone is saying it's a ghost but have you considered that there is another person secretly living inside some tiny crawlspace or attic you didn't know existed in the structure? This sort of thing happens more than you would believe.

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I wish I had a ghost waifu creeping on me fapping
lucky lad

>>19007972
>>live in bachelor apartment alone, in an old hotel built c. 1930 consisting of living area, kitchen, bathroom and a large walk in closet
>>fapping
>>think I see something out of the corner of my eye
>>a person in the darkened bathroom peeking through the doorway
>>they dart away when I look toward them
>>mfw
>
>This just happened to me. What should I do? I'm burning incense rn.

Get a gun dumbass

>>19007972
>live in bachelor apartment alone
Lol. Lonely much?

>>19007972
>rape

>>19007972
Tell it to suck your schlong

>>19008710
But cats are shittier than dogs anon

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>>19010257
not to me they're not

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>>19007972

>>19007972
set up a camera to take pictures every few minutes and point it at the door you saw the thing peeking around

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>>19009883
If it's corporeal then that just makes it all the easier for OP to fuck

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>>19010931
Alright anon, enjoy having shit taste

>>19008724
She probably hears mice or something in there.

>OP: hi /x/ I think I'm being haunted jhelp
>/x/: stick your penis in it

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>>19013530
>anon doesn't exorcize with penis

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At that point you should just get more turned on and start even more furiously masturbating.

>>19008724
CALL THE FUCKING COPS YOU GOT A HOBO LIVING IN YOU"RE WALLS

>>19007972
akkarin's spying on you taking a rub man that's pretty hot desu

>>19014092
>LIVING IN YOU ARE WALLS
I'm fucking triggered

>>19008760
Are you still alive?

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>>1901353
>he doesn't fuck spoops.
You must be new here.

>>19008628
Hahaha was one of them jacking off in a bush if so that was me

>>19008697
Cats for ghosts and Fae, dogs for demons and shit. Cats don't mind the infernal, and dogs don't scare ghosts.

>>19015511
The fae won't hurt you unless you are a total prick. Cat's don't mind them either. They will ward demons though. Unless there is a strong curse.

>>19007972
Leave food for them. open your door so they can leave. put your hands at every place just to check for the unvisibility cloaked man.

The cloaked human is probably there because they don't care where they are as long as they aren't harassed.

>>19008040
>keep the lights closed

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>>19009438

>>19008760
OH SHIT WATCH OUT FOR THAT FAST KITTER

>>19008760
cat's probably like wtf dude let me out

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>>19017264
>>19018601

>>19008449
private pyle ghost returns

>>19008246
buy a flashlight

>>19007972
It's just the neighbor.