Hey /x/. Is it possible to make a deal with the devil to become

>>18998894
Yeah but its very painful, takes a lot of time and you gotta change your everyday habits to succesfully make it.

It's called """""""""""""""Healthy lifestyle""""""""" supported by a too secret demonic hell ritual called """"""""everyday workout"""""""""

Shieeet nigga now youre screwed because you cant even stand up to your own laziness so you gotta make threads like this and hope for a miracle, which will never come.

> so sad

>>18998894
Making a pact with devil doesnt mean that you meet a goatman with a contract which you gotta sign with your own blood.

This is not a fairytale anon.

The concept of "making a pact with devil" means letting off all of your moral barriers and positive attitude towarda other people in change for your personal success. "Go through dead bodies" is another synonym for that, if you know what I mean.

For example: you could now kill your parents, take all of their money, sell all their possessions and move to tropical paradise. However you wont do it because your "good side" wont allow you to. While making a pact with devil, you kill off your "good side" completely and focus only on personal ego benefits no matter the price.

Comprende?

>>18998922
Mum is abusive so I haven't much to lose in that sense. I know it's an example but still.

I don't know my own moral fortitude so to speak. In some ways I feel like I have the potential become what is needed for such a pact, in others I don't know.

>>18998894
Anon there is a reason Monkey Paw is a phrase. DO NOT make any fate changing super cool wishes. Take the pathetic route from >>18998906 and avoid wishing yourself into a freak car accident in a blizzard where you lose your body fat and fight a bear only to survive and create successful book and movie. It can only end in your porn star spouse stealing your children.

>>18998906
I have an eating disorder.

Yes, you must perform the ancient blackest of rites of eating less food. Only then will the eldritch powers grant you the gift of thinness.

>>18998906
No I want to sell my soul and burn in hell for all eternity!!!!

>>18998922
>However you wont do it because
Because life in prison would such a whole bag of donkey dicks.

>>18998981
The workouts will still be needed in order to get the "beautiful" part. If you get thin without adding any muscle tone it just looks like you're sick.

>>18999059
*suck

>>18999070
Probably won't be donkey dicks...

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>>18998894

Who's the devil anyway?

yo devil here

whatcha want?

>>18999100
IT'S ANA
SHE WANTS TO HURT ME
ENDLESS PAIN
SHE ONLY WANTS TO HURT ME
I THINK SHE THINKS HER SOLE PURPOSE IN EXISTENCE IS TO CAUSE ME PAIN AND SUFFERING
AND ALL I DID WAS HAVE THOUGHTS OF LOVE ABOUT HER

>>18999239
AND IF ANYBODY ELSE WANTS TO CAUSE ME SUCH TERRIBLE PAIN AND SUFFERING
THEY WANT TO ONLY FOR THE REASON THAT ANA HAS GOT THEM TO WANT TO CAUSE ME SUCH TERRIBLE PAIN AND SUFFERING
RAPE
NONCONSENSUAL PENETRATION
YEARS OF RAPE
SHE STOLE MY TRAVELER'S CHECK AND THEN DESTROYED IT ALONG WITH THE LOVE I HAD THAT SHE DESTROYED AND SHE MIGHT NOT HAVE SUCH MEMORIES OF DOING SO BUT SHE MIGHT...
ALSO PART OF MY PERFECT PLAN THAT SHE AGREED ON WAS TO LOVE CHELSEA
BUT THEN SHE SAID "HE HAS TO HATE HER" YEARS AFTER SUCH LONELY RAPE
AND THEN WHEN I SAY "OK OK I DO HATE HER AS I HAVE BEEN RAPED ALONE FOR SUCH A LONG AND ARDUOUS DURATION"
ANA SAYS
"BUT SHE WOULD DIE FOR YOU!"
OW OW OW OW OW

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Have you considered a Goetic demon might be better for this? No soul-selling needed.

>>18999251
seek professional psychiatric help

>>18999100
53:1.4.Very little was heard of Lucifer on Urantia owing to the fact that he assigned his first lieutenant, Satan, to advocate his cause on your planet. Satan was a member of the same primary group of Lanonandeks but had never functioned as a System Sovereign; he entered fully into the Lucifer insurrection. The "devil" is none other than Caligastia, the deposed Planetary Prince of Urantia and a Son of the secondary order of Lanonandeks. At the time Michael was on Urantia in the flesh, Lucifer, Satan, and Caligastia were leagued together to effect the miscarriage of his bestowal mission. But they signally failed.

>>18998906
10/10

http://s48.photobucket.com/user/undisputed_seraphim/media/Guides/demon-sigils-summoning.png.html?sort=3&o=16

ya better off making a deal with the dev to be a hot girl

see hot girls online asking for shit like rides from the airport/to other cities, job openings, advice, where parties or gatherings are, etc.

attractive women have mad success just granted to them based on merit of attractiveness. can't fuck it up. the dev ain't gonna give you success like u wanna.


see a hot woman has a great ass maybe great tits i definitely like an ass and cuter perkier tits though. good hygiene is crucial too, especially like girls who dye their hair black but actually take care of it. "fashion goths" maybe i guess but some have such nice asses and legs. bet their feet are cute too. little skirts and shit from american apparel and maybe light eye makeup. cute when they have dimples and read too but actually have taste. like that. good legs- shaven smooth. doesn't have to be caucasian but lighter skin is a plus. gotta have that ass when she's wearing nice lace underwear. maybe occasionally paints her nails and toes to idk though don't care too much about that. gotta be a flirt. really gotta lay it on heavy with every guy but in a cool way that's just generally amicable. she'll wear a cute boatneck top with some stripes and usually just tight black jeans. occasionally clogs but usually low-cut boot sort of shoes. 5'2-5'8 is ideal but i can deal with her a bit taller considering i'm a bit taller and it can be awkward dating super short girls. i like tattoos but modest ones and it's def not required but a lot of pushover guys will drool over a girl with tatz so consider it maybe. just simple black linework- fuck that classic sailor shit too. gotta have a cute ass squats are a must and nice legs and maybe thicker but not you know super thick thighs. just a feminine figure with smaller tits and a cute butt gotta be cute though and friendly but yeah the doors fuckin open man...

>>18998947
Monster Dave, is that you? You been on the Sauce again?

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>>18999367

Why not ask an Angel instead? If you believe in demons, wouldn't Angels exist too?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7QhT39NBuE

>>18999165
Sup bro
U tryna smoke

>>18999774
Because demons can be bound and commanded by you, the summoner, angels are bound by God, the God, and working with an angel means doing everything they say and hoping they'll agree that you've earned your reward. It's not as clunky as that if you're in the right, but if you're not and you're just trying to get a use out of this deal the lesser spirits will do much nicer.

Angels are the servants of God, as far as I know they offer nothing and give nothing without God's direction.