how to become vampire?

Become nocturnal, sleep in coffin, sustain urself only on the blood of the living.

Get bitten by one or play in their vampire dust

>>18985461
Suck the skin off my dick.

>>18985461
You're on /x/, so just roleplay that you are a vampire.

>>18985461
You gotta bleed out normie human blood first

Ok you need to get the following diseases:
>hemophilia
>aids
>hepatitis
>extreme skin sensitivity with burning on contact with sun
>extreme dehydration so your gums will retract and make your teeth bigger and your eyes sink
>insomnia for those dark eyelids
>extreme schizophrenia that makes you want to drink blood
>autism (though im willing to bet you have this one covered)

It is commonly believed that vampirism is transmitted via the blood stream: this is completely wrong.
The true carrier of the vampire 'virus' is semen.
To become a vampire, just suck a lot of dicks and hope you get vampirism instead of herpes.

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.

>>18985461
1.kill your family, rip out their hearts and drink their blood
2.become nocturnal

>how to become vampire?
Alrighty OP.

Firstly, your diet - drink blood (obviously); but no more than a pint a day (as it can make you sick). If you are serious about it, make sure the blood you drink is clean/disease and parasite-free! You don't get much nutrients from blood - negligible amounts of protein, water, and iron.

>raw meat/eggs
This is how you're going to get your protein - hope you like steak tartare and sushi! Think blood sausage!
>red wine
Like a fancy vampire. This will get you potassium and vitamins.
>chocolate
Dark chocolate or milk chocolate - the fancier, the better!
>consume red fruits and veggies
Tomatoes, berries, radishes, etc. Think in red.

Try to balance your diet - but think more..."vampirery". Make sure to take Vitamin D supplements because...

...Avoid the Sun! Seriously, go pale. No sun-bathing, use sunscreen, large hats, umbrellas, stay indoors, etc. Treat the sun like it could KILL you. It has harmful UV rays anyways.

Now that you're eating like a vampire and ignoring the sun like a vampire - now you got to act, think, dress like, and BECOME a vampire.

Much like >>18985476 said, work graveyard shift and sleep during the day (become nocturnal). Find a nice, comfy coffin to sleep in during the day. We already touched on blood.

Dress like you're from the Victorian era, walk, talk, and speak like a proper, aristocratic vampire. I'd read, study, and learn all about this era and prior.

If you REALLY want to and have the cash - talk to your dentist about cosmetically modifying your canines into vampire fangs.