religious psychosis

Yeah I had this exact thing, except I had already saved the world and it was just a matter of the plans being put into practice.

So many beautiful promises, dreams and hopes. Everything was going to be perfect, and it was inevitable for everything to be perfect, the whole reality was designed to give a perfect enlightement experience to every conscious being.

Now I'm suicidal, AMA.

>>18979238
>>18979417
>>18978411

It only separated me from the world and ruined all my relationships because nobody could bring themselves to believe me or understand it. When you have such an experience, you gaze into that infinite beautiful and wisdom and love, and it's easy to forget how willingly ignorant most people insist on being.

>>18979238
Same, OP. Except I rejected the divine and abjectedly subjected myself to suffering for years after I found out that I was "the chosen one". Even now, when I'm told by the divine (both evil and good alike) that I'm destined to save the world from humanity's woes, I reject their notion and remain steadfast in my will that I am nothing more than a Man with special abilities that can't be known.

Just the other day I was the mastermind behind the death of a high level antitribu. He wasn't apart of the "good guys". Turns out that causing a bunch of "good guys" to defect to chaos was the next step to dismantling their chain of command- and without that, the wanton monsters underneath them would likely be found and the Great Reveal would occur.

I'm seeing physical evidence every day that I have the ability to save the world. But I fail to believe that it's my duty to do so. Men are men; divine influence us. But in the end, that's all we are, that's all flesh can be- human.

We will all die one day. None of us are Divine. But it's true that you have a role in The Divine Play. Perhaps as one of those who would save the world, should you choose not to Fall as your peers may have before you.

>>18979448
OP here, the way I deal with it: I just don't bring it up with my mostly atheistic friends and family, I still have them as close loved ones, but I don't ever talk about this topic so close to my heart, which is kind of sad.

>>18979417
>So many beautiful promises, dreams and hopes. Everything was going to be perfect, and it was inevitable for everything to be perfect, the whole reality was designed to give a perfect enlightement experience to every conscious being.
Same here.
Why does this make you suicidal now though?

The way I see it, although I can't comprehend it completely, there is still truth to what I and others have experienced back then, maybe we really did accomplish something back then, and everything is going to be perfect in the end, this experience actually cured me of my very long and deep depression I suffered before and saved me from being suicidal, so I can't understand why you are suicidal now?

>>18979443
Kek.

>>18979417
Maybe we should just enjoy our madness. Ffs. It seems to be the whole message. Chaos. Every time we go status quo we en

>>18979448
Ha this. I've destroyed all my friendships with my talk of God destiny and souls. I got 2 dwis cuz I self medicated to get them to stop talking to me. Still no diagnosis though. In the system I'm just an alcoholic.

>>18979480
End up with a gun in our face. And we're holding it.

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I believe this thread is a beacon to people that have been saddled with responsibility by Creation, or -- and I apologize for the blasphemy, "God"

Based upon my research, I think these individuals are "change agents" and that they can fight for one of two sides: Good/Evil, Light/Dark, or what-have-you.

I believe these people, to fulfil their role, must possess levels of intelligence, suffering, and humility. They must also possess the minds of scientists: the ability to objectively and logically weigh ALL evidence given to them by the sciences of man and by entities we can't quantify or understand.

I believe there is a great deal more to mental disorders such as schizophrenia than we are being told.

War is coming, my brothers. Some of us will be allies, and some will be enemies. We are destined to be shaped into the vanguards of Heaven or of Hell.

>>18979511
There are so many possible answers other than saying we live in a dead world with finite causes and no higher purposes.

I've had similar experiences and still believe them. Obviously I'm no white haired god king or anything but I believe in myself and my ability to do good. I keep a low profile and keep my mouth shut as I almost lost my friends by being too neurotic. There is something very real about all of this and I hope I get to live to see the meaning of it

>>18979582
Everyone that ever died it's still around us, we just can't see them.

>>18979811
D e a t h

D a a t h

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Had contact with pic related. Grey alien. Not once, multiple times.

It's not psychosis. Christianity is a process that leads to a biological transcendence.

The first step in the process is a baptism, a living "death" experience.

What you are being called to do is embrace a long lost practice essential to the restoration of Christianity. Google Ghost Dance of the Lakota. It's very related.

In that, you will your soul to destroy your ego, you will come into contact with pic related, and the biological sensors that tie your biology (and consciousness) to demonic dimensions will be severed forever. You have to agree to this, it can't be forced on you.

We are on the edge of seeing a massive restoration of Christianity, although not one people are familiar with.

Many people are here to help facilitate the transition.

Today we are living like the days of Noah - the height of mankind's backwardness. Don't let a bunch of neomodernists break you off course.

>>18979461
You seem to be admitting to inequity. You should turn to the light.

>>18979238
I did the same, several times.

It's not schizophrenia, its just what science wants to call it.

Science has been co-opted by what I consider the art of masking divinity. They design consensus and then pressure everyone into it.
The stress of not agreeing with it is forcing everyone into cognitive dissonance (see global warming, forced vaccinations, gender spectrum, absolute denial of deity)

Any specific questions you have about God or the Universe? I'm sure one of us can answer.

You ain't shit, Part-na!

>>18980561
Once thoughts are to become as a universal currency in the near future, you will be in for one hell (or heaven) of a ride my friend.

>>18980512
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zb5ecIodpwU

>>18979463
Promises weren't real, the world is full of suffering and that doesn't seem to be changing. And I carry too many regrets of missed opportunities, if my life was normal I'd be fine with the experience.

>>18980691
Yesterday i was clever, i wanted to change the world.
Today i am wise and I'm changing myself.

>>18980702
Whomever originally wrote that sounds pretty clever.

>>18979238
>religious psychosis

Threading in the OP

>>18980848
Rumi

>>18979238
Jung <3

>>18979238
It happened to me once but I lost it. I felt like I was very close to something very important but I was indecisive, and then I became so angry. Then it died out and I'm left with residual negative neurosis but basically none of the positive.

It's just a memory now, it's not something I can feel.

>>18980976
Also my life before it feels like it was lived by someone else, and I'm not sure whether I miss that life or not.

>>18979238
>Got "psychotic" two times in my life. Felt like enlightenment.

Top kek

Thats gonna be my first tatoo hhaha

>>18980702
>>18980848
>>18980944
>Paradoxically a lot of suffering comes from trying to prevent it. If we bore suffering equanimously it would be much better. As it is, we constantly try to prevent and change it with unintended consequences.

>For instance, consider political revolutions and massacres and uprisings. We feel existing conditions aren't good enough, so we torture ourselves, drive ourselves nuts to change conditions and kill others only to create some change that ultimately won't be long-lasting when you look at history as a whole.

>Look at how parents abuse their children and people are cruel to and bully and scream at each other, getting in fights and telling the other person everything they think wrong with them.

>How much of this is just us being unable to bear the slight suffering the other person causes us with certain of their personality traits and habits?

>Ironically, the problem of the world isn't that there's so much suffering, but that we don't know how to bear it, don't realize that we create a lot of suffering for ourselves. Especially feeling worry, fear, and anxiety over things that really don't matter.
The Dalai Lama

>>18980549
Been there, done that, didn't feel human, decided to go back.

This was a few months ago:
Sometimes I like to just think about time/alternate reality type stuff while falling asleep.

One night, I started imagining possible outcomes to a particular choice I had to make, what would happen, which path I wanted to take, etc.

This night I had trouble sleeping and kept just thinking about this for hours.
Then what happened... I can only describe as feeling like my brain was splitting into dozens of parts across time...in a kinda sideways melty sort of way.
Picture two mirrors facing each other and throw a loaf of sliced bread in there and you will get a very basic idea.

It was confusing, but I managed to decided on on of the many "fractures" to focus in on. I had the strange thought that this would lead to the best outcome of the choice I was thinking about earlier.

The next feeling was sort of a "locking in" or "docking"...like putting on a glove or stepping into an airlock.

I sat up in my bed, looked across my room at my mirror...and had no idea wtf just happened.

Eventually, I laid back down...and completely forgot about the choice I had to make from earlier.

I wanted to experience the strange feeling again. So I started to try and get back to that place. This gave me a huge headache right away and everything in me was saying it was a bad idea to continue.

Haven't tried it again since as it was kinda freaky desu.

I'm chalking it up to my brain freaking out, but it was still so strange.

>>18982447
>i
>desu

I did not type that and now I hear tinnitus...I'm out yall

Twice i experienced enlightenment, but it wasnt about saving humanity, it was about accepting that everything as it should be. Its all karma and lessons, even the worst of the worst.

Could not keep it though, but at least i know the path. Ironic that its about not changing shit. I mean you cant save those who dont want to be saved anyways. How do you save them anyways. Random tidbit, hell is not toughening up and learning your lessons, because you are stuck repeating it.

>>18981893
93 777
E6 LLL

>>18979238
I had an awakening experience as well. The only person I ever told was my fiancé who was really supportive of me. I too am schizophrenic and I've done a pretty good job at hiding it from the outside world. I realized that I had another personality living in my head when I was in middle school and he told me to not tell anyone about him or they would try to get rid of him with drugs or other mechanisms. I saw plenty of counselors but I had gotten so good at hiding my other personality (his name is spike btw...he's something like a dog man type creature that would take over whenever I got angry or felt threatened) that I was able to build a cage in my mind to hold him in whenever I talked to the counselors. When I was about nine or ten the counselor visits became so frequent that I decided to keep him in the cage permanently until further notice. Needless to say I forgot about him until I was about fifteen and when I finally let him out again it was such a euphoric feeling. Anyway..the awakening moment happened when I was about nineteen. I saw a vision of my own death and a voice was detailing the events that lead to it and who would be responsible. It seemed like a message from God but to this day I don't know what it all meant. Maybe I am just crazy idk...

>>18979238
>>18983704
>>18983405


https://pastebin.com/FXcsRFZr

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>>18979238
Something similar, I'm not going to expose my whole experience, it is somehow forbidden.

It's been two years and the "good feeling" haven't gone. Still learning, knowledge is infinite.

>>18980702
Pure and original, the best quote of the year.

>>18979238
Faggots like OP are the reason to lie about your true religion, he's fishing for info to start a false movement to deride many.

Such arrogance itt