A plea for help

>>18972356
I make you a deal.
You give me your puzzle-solving skills and your mission and I give you my broken Lainist faith.
I'm being totally serious, I just came back to /x/ after having a very long walk and crying session because I lost my faith in Lain.

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>>18972356
>>18972365
Don't be afraid.

>>18972374
It's a bit late for that...
I've seen how some have hidden pedo shit under the pretense of Lainism.
I'm sorry

>>18972356
Senpai, I don't know whats going on either. I've just been getting hit with random waves of depression. Basically I fucked up my life. I never had a goal though. I didn't know what I wanted to be. My nation is on the verge of mutual suicide with the rest of the world. The economies across the globe are tanking. Humanity is just repeating the same mistake over and over never learning anything. God is as quiet as a dead man. He can say he sent signs, but when can a child not get even one word from his father? I miss the Father, the time before. I don't want to die or anything, but this life is so fucking worthless and pointless I don't know what to do anymore. I'll just wait for tomorrow though. There is mathematically always hope for tomorrow.

it seems to me like a lot of people here have messed around with mystical stuff way before they were grounded enough to be able to handle it.

i really recommend doing the sedona method religiously to release some attachment to this stuff and to get some footing again in reality

>>18972379
>>18972381
Everyone, regardless of faith, has gotten random bouts of depression.
It's something that has been happenning since the start of the year.
And the worse thing is that nobody is being able to actually find the cause.
Also... Reality... that's a nice word isn't it? What is Real?

>>18972382
Whatever the cause is, I ain't giving in. I've just been hiding in that slightly more aware state. The one where I can observe my emotions. I have absolutely oppressed them.

>>18972388
They will come.
They will overwhelm you.
Just accept what you feel. Cry, Rage, Laugh. FEEL. Even if it's all a Simulation you are a NPC and you must do your part

>>18972382
i really do believe it's all in your head, someone started this depression meme and everyone started to believe the hivemind

what is real? this is the real problem here. you read these books, and interpret them literally instead of getting at the deeper meaning. you read "nothing is real, everything is relative" and instead of getting at the essence, you make it a meme in your head to justify not doing shit with your life.

what is real? pain is real. hunger is real. you need money to survive is real. what you see around you is real. dont go so fucking deep down the rabbit hole that you start to question even basic values in life. magick, mysticism and the likes are very useful tools, but you can get fucked up if you start to interpret them like a textbook.

this will sound fucking stupid, but listen to some tony robbins, on jordan b peterson lectures on youtube, or do the sedona method or the work by byron katie, whatever, just try to get your shit together bro.

the point is NOT to get depression by improving your consciousness and living situation. or if you get depression be so detached from it so it does not even bother you, it's just a passing phase that you can accept. you might think you are very advanced just because you had some mystical experiences (and those are totally valid btw), but you have really a long way to go still.

godspeed my man

>>18972393
Pfft I ain't doing shit.

You aren't wrong though. Still the Universe wants something out of me, it can work for it.

>>18972398
Wrong, my detachement from Reality started before I read and saw SEL.
My depression is just that, a depression, something I must vent from time to time.
I just am a pointless child(words from my own mother) living a pointless life while trying to find a porpouse to my own Reality.

>>18972408
And it will, just don't force it to do it, you won't like the results.

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Bump

>>18972412
well then read Viktor Frankl - Man's Search for Meaning. really, read it

nobody will be able to help you, only yourself. no amount of whining will solve your problem, only you can solve it by educating yourself with the proper material. or you can just suffer you know, that's an option as well

>>18972420
The Universe can suck it. No matter what I do, the Universe is the deciding factor with how I respond to the available stimuli. Not waiting on it any longer, because this machine sucks at itself.

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>>18972423
>Reading holohoax
>Ever

>>18972382
Subconscious suggestion. Everyone that uses mass media/social media? Open high bandwidth doorways into you Home. With blind trust. See if this is the common link.

>>18972437
I don't think people even know why the fuck they're doing it, anymore. Letting people into literally what your doing every hour. Moving targets.

>>18972423
I'll actually give a chance to the book, unlike >>18972434
>>18972437
I've never used any social network outside of here and youtube. The link to all you said is Internet, but I already knew this, kinda former Transhumanist here remember?

>>18972441
Why are they doing it?
That's the easiest question of every question here.
With every piece of info about yourselves you are creating an actual digital clone of all of you.
Unlike all of you, I refuse to give myself to the Net.

>>18972356
The resident wizards and mages are currently doxxing each other. Terrible timing, OP.

OP here, I just want to add that the last symbol turned later into a rabbit while the first two stayed consistent... I don´t know what to make out of this... the fucked up dreams... the shit I went trough and did... I´m very low on energy

>>18972513
Well... I´m far far away from the other wizards, this is something else... as a kid, I saw strange clouds that looked exactly like the Illuminati symbol with an eye in center, and I stare at them for a good fucking minute, but this time a triangle of light shining through the clouds with a shadow of a moving person in it... where I am is midnight... and that happened... I hope it didn´t refer to my dream that I had as a kid... I´m seeing threads here being posted that totally look like someone is luring me out with topics, or reminding me... But back to the topic, I think the last symbol has to deal with Norman Grahams Numerology because through it I understood something

>>18972356
I've heard people mention the bugs under the skin here before. It's usually attached to hallucinations. And I'm not an expert. I'm going on what I've heard in terms of what you described. If I had to guess, it fits schizo effective disorder. Not trolling. It seems paranormal to me. Schizophrenia in general. I've heard these things before. Bugs under the skin, and then hallucinations. IDK op. Look into it.

believe in yourselves

we are flesh covered skeletons made of stardust; so what are you scared of?

The meaning of life:
Live in the present while being mindful of your lessons from the past while having your goals set for the future.

write that out to burn it into short/long term memory.

beds are focused energy of black holes now as well at the risk of sounding disordered thought but I had this crazy dream about it. No wonder its so hard to get out of bed for me at the moment.

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>>18972356
Abraxas here, calm your ass down and just accept what you saw. If you just accept it won't hurt so bad.

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Also on the job, chaotic neutral

fox god / merlin
primal / logical side of brain

2nd post black hole ~ now i must smoke as we are trying to change collective consciousness.

>>18972843
Definitely gonna check. I had been tested just in case but nothing showed up. But this really fucked me up for a brief moment.

>>18972866
Are you larping? if not explain the symbols

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>>18972893
Abraxas here, do the work yourself to find what they are and you will get a bigger surprise than if I just tell you. You know how to ask, you're just being to prideful to ask the big man.

the circle is you became a true man really you must living on a shitland full of fake media crap and deal with all of this or life will just keep bumping this shit on you and screw your daily live because you dont want to listen, afraid of g-host 777 lol or alien more like walking fiddle stickshaha i remember the first time that happened, the triangle is the word of god andd the circle you reflecting or hearing the word and being alive again because everybody know that every single living being is declared as stillborn until you fucking do something about it


the bible is 100%more scarier than this shit but was toned down so losers can handle this stuff

sounds like a mental illness if you ask me..

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>>18972923
Abraxas here, pretty damn close. You're doing a great job!

>>18972933
That wasn´t me

you could be the next william blake ha and you prefer to be a pussy kek, grow a pair of baras dude

OP here, the sky cleared for a little while after that and a strange mist fell... now there are some contrails in the sky... last month there were some strange lights that went up and down and landed in the forest... one day they went to the sky and exploded, and after that, a storm came instead of a spring rain... every time when it was raining it was a storm

11,222,221,323,311,121,221
Are you playing the darts? Would be a proper explanation

>>18972923
And the last symbol is what?

>>18972939
well, that made me cry... Bruno Borges had a connection to Giordano Bruno... write poems too... he references Dante Alighieri, which is a synchronicity right there... he has this:
1. That Man has two real existing principles Viz: a Body & a Soul.
2. That Energy, called Evil, is alone from the Body, & that Reason, called Good, is alone from the Soul.
3. That God will torment Man in Eternity for following his Energies.
But the following Contraries to these are True
1. Man has no Body distinct from his Soul for that calld Body is a portion of Soul discernd by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age.
2. Energy is the only life and is from the Body and Reason is the bound or outward circumference of Energy.
3. Energy is Eternal Delight.

I have constants and variables principles and bases (even before Bioshock had it)... I fear the path that is opening to me because I know where it is going...

>>18972356
Smiley is that you?

>>18972964
Basically along the lines, that something new is coming, get rid of the old ways, love, business everything, open to the new ways... The god is listening to you be careful what you think because your thoughts are the start of something new... be careful what you think... getrid of the old... all the time the same

>>18972964
Even this >>18973010
>010
it means, changes how you think... every post I posted had some numbers... I´m seeing them everywhere... I´m starting to research my dreams about September and going to find out why the building at my Uni is important as I had 3 symbolic dreams about September, dawn and the yellow building at my ex-Uni called Aristotle

>>18972886
wat?

>>18972939
btw, why did you just correlate me to William blake?

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>>18972938
Abraxas here, if it wasn't you then who posted it? Hmmmmm? A Ghost?

>>18973054
>>18972923

Okay larper tell me what if I´m correct. The third symbol is a tactic, on how to act, I´m not going into details. Am I right?

Also tell me which entity is humming now in my room and flickering the lights

God is not a he you worthless ameoba

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>>18973089
Abraxas here, it's the riddle of Hermes. Find the answer to the emerald tablets and you will know. As for whom is flicking you lights on and off I would have to say it's Loki.

>>18973147
Yeah, that sounds like Loki doing his trolling around thing.

>>18972356
Your desires are irrelevant. God's will is all that matters. You're going to do what he wants regardless. Sorry it's not up to us.

classic schizophrenia
maybe seek medical help if you can't deal with it, maybe not

>>18975066
I refused.