Just things on my mind

File: 5741943+_c1d2cb1a9094e7b63fdb11efb03df55a.jpg (14KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 480x360px

Hello, im 25 and always had a rough life, my dad died when i was 7 and my mother always hanged on the bottle.I never felt like i needed strenght from another entity or anyone for that matter, i just counted only on myself and "had fun" not caring about shit. Never really touched hardcore drugs, just weed sometimes. I always loved conspiracies, never really believed in any kind of religion but believed that "something" started life and the universe, didn't care about details of such matter yet.
Never been in the occult, even tho at nights i would get easily scared because of feeling a presence around me, watching me from the corner of my room, in the darkness. Don't know if it was just paranoi tho.
Lately i feel that same presence again, but i don't get scared of it, because trough reason i had a spark of hope that led me to believe that god actually existed. The spark was so real for me, it was trough reason and thinking as i said, but when i think about it now i can't remember what i was really thinking in that same exact moment.
Im not scared of death, i don't welcome if of course since i am still young, i just feel like that if before being born i was nothing, why would i need to be scared od turning into that same state again?
Recently ive been pretty sicked out with the whole pizzashit scandal and went into holes just to come out depressed, not scared, just depressed and disattached from "real" "reality".
I was baptized of course, and im thinking of giving the bible a read. Have you ever read the bible? If yes, do you believe in it? I see many people that don't believe in it, but still , i need to talk to someone that read it all and still doesen't believe in it.
One thing that is on my mind is, why people that actually believe in the devil or any "alternative" entity that did not create everything and have proof of existance of demons and such, still keep at it?i would believe the good guy to be real too right?
If you believe in evil then good must be true