I wrote a short horror story. Would y'all like to read it?

Are the grammatical errors intentional, since it's supposedly a "post"? If not, you should really polish it up before sharing it. It's a bit boring, to be honest. Even the peak of the story has me impatient for the meat of it, which never comes. There's quite a bit of irrelevant filler that doesn't add anything but length to the story.

>3/10
>would not recommend

Thanks for sharing, though.

>>18943107

May I ask what grammatical errors you are referring to? I wrote it using purposely informal language.

What did you consider the "peak" of the story and what would you have considered the "meat"?

>>18943052
No.

>>18943119
These rambling sentences seem more like excuses to use commas than anything else.

>Immediately after I received the assignment, I called my brother to inform him of my coming visit and to ask him if I could stay at his place for the duration of the visits, having grown tired of the dirty, impersonal and cheap hotels my company would put me in for the night.

>>18943052
CRINGE

>“I’m doing well. My flight was fine, save for the crying baby a few rows back. Speaking of crying babies, how is Tyler?” I joked, using the same jeering humor that had been prevalent when I was around my brother.

>“Well, he isn’t a baby anymore and he doesn’t cry either, Jake.” Christina responded while walking to the front door from the upstairs, clearly aggrieved at my attempt at humor. Christina and I never really liked each other, with this strained relationship contributing to the lack of my visits throughout the years since they had gotten together.

>>18943172

I admit my dialogue is not very good.
Thank you for your honesty. This is my first story.

>>18943170

That is a rambling sentence. I should have caught that in proof reading. Thank you.

Still reading through it...Ah, ha.

>began to suspect he may be on the Autism Spectrum.

I see why this group doesn't like it. Subject matter is too close to home.

>>18943172
Here, read these:

https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B006C4WFOM?ref_=cm_flw_fst_ent