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So I did some chaos magick a while back and it seems to have worked but the cost is overwhelming.
I created a sigil and cast it with a lot if spiritual energy and I was completely drained the next day.
I was extremely poor and low self esteem and could not find a job so the spell included attracting more power to myself, and winning back the heart of my ex-girlfriend who I was madly in love with.
Lo and behold, I was forced out of the city I grew up in because I couldnt afford to live there anymore.
Half a year after I move I get a really good paying job, self confidence is much higher, and I'm very socially active.
and my ex girlfriend contacts me in the middle of this saying she misses me and definitely wants me back.
The problem is I dont have much of a social life here because I didnt grow up here and people are busy spending time with long-time friends so little attention is payed to me, even at work.
It gets so bad I seriously consider either running from the fee family members I have here back to my home town or commiting suicidd.
Is this just the consequence of blindly casting magick and being so emotionally distraught I didnt care?
Pls help Idk what to do.
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>holy fucking typos batman!
sorry for phoneposting guys
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>>18931020
Did you create your own sigil ? Or copied something online ?
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>>18931020
It isn't the sigil, it's just that you are a social autist.
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>>18931020
Make a new future.
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>>18931028
No I definitely had a social autist stage before I moved, but like I said people are just more inclined towards the people they've known. I'm an outsider and that doesnt change for at least a couple years. I can't handle not having the people I gree up with anon.
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>>18931025
Created my own.
It was pretty legit.
Geometric symmetry and everything.
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>>18931029
>elaborate
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>>18931020
Hey OP. Wizard here. First we'll talk about your sigil and then I'm going to give you some general advice because I think you need it. If your running a sigil in a traditional peter carroll/phil hine way most folks do on /x/ - think of a desire, write it down, remove parts into a symbol, hit gnosis, cast, forget - this is not pulling any outside spirits (invocation, or evocation). This is coming from within you. Your subconscious and your desires. You want to clear that sigil out, cool. Read Liber Null. It's a pretty easy.
"when another strong desire arises, this desire is sacrificed (forgotten) and the sigil is concentrated on instead. After holding the sigil in the mind for as long as possible, it is wise to
banish it by evoking laughter. A record should be kept of all work with sigils but not in such a
way as to cause conscious deliberation over the sigilized desire."
Ok, also being lonely is part of growing up for a lot of people. You moved away from home, and you are working with people that may not want to be your best friends. If you want a social life after high school/college your going to go out of you way to build one. It's hard. I'm sorry it's so hard. You need to find people with your interest. Work isn't always a great place for that. This is common baby bird leaving the nest type shit most everyone has to deal with.
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>>18931020
OP, wtf. Join a book club, go to art classes, start practicing a sport, you will meet people and make friends, don't kill yourself you fag
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>>18931131
OP here, I'm already in school and working full time.
I guess I made some "friends" but as I said it's pretty difficult to find time to spend with them, and when time is available, they're with closer friends anyways. It isn't this simple.
>>18931107
Idk I just really feel like it's been particularly difficult for me like something outside has been interfering since I left.
I'm pretty nice and chill and people have no problem with hanging around me it's just that I'm still on the outside because I wasn't raised here I guess.
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>>18931172
Don't take things too seriously.
If you think you have something on you - banish. I have a ritual of watching Seinfeld and then summoning the spirit of George to sweep away all my problems.
Killing yourself is something you do after losing a league of legends match.
Don't play league of legends, if anything is a curse it's that game.
Relax.
Don't do it.
When you want to go to it.
Relax don't do it.
When you wanna come.
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>>18931231
As above, so below, whole beef patty with cheese in the middle. Hold the mayo, add the mustard.
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>>18931030
Making friends as an adult is always difficult. Find a new social hobby, meet new people. Accept that you won't be their best friend for quite some time.
Look in your area for a 'wine and painting' class, or play in a pub league sport. Get out there and meet people.
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>>18931020
don't kill yourself OP, realize the magic was inside you all along and you just gotta make a choice to be more sociable
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