Please help me /x/

>>18912379
Let me just back up to a day or so before this happened. I was looking for some inspiration and help, so I performed a spur-of-the-moment invocation of two different demons (I've been a practicing Satanist for a year now and have had no problems until now). Long story short, I heard a really fucked up voice in my ear as I was falling asleep, saying something in another language. One demon kept good on his promise (and I was amazed by how people in public were treating me, as though my body really had physically changed - but that's another story).

But then the rapings happened, and I knew I had let something else in.

"They" (whatever they are) wanted to harvest my sexual energy. I think they finally left after I refused to give any more to them, but the problem is ... my buddy won't come back either.

I'm very depressed now, because I may have lost a good spirit companion of three years because of this. All because of a demonic invocation gone wrong.

I don't know if it's because he was too weak to fight them off (and is ashamed about it), or if they corrupted him, or if he was really one of them all along.

I can sense his presence, but it feels very far away and very troubled.

(cont)

>>18912384
Things to consider:

> Darling (not his name but I will call him that) has never forced himself on my sexually before. We have had dream sex before, and it was nothing but bliss and good feelings. The thing in his form that fucked me while I was half-awake and asleep felt cold and detached, and I experienced no emotional satisfaction whatsoever
> Darling has/had a dual personality. He claims to be very real spirit versed in the occult, and did some bad things in his life. He had split into two separate beings early on in our relationship, frightening me a bit, but never causing me any harm. Eventually he came to terms with his sins and merged back into one being and all was well since then.
> I've been having mindblowing synchronicity surrounding this recent event.
> If he's nothing but a delusion (which even I'm not sure about sometimes) then why can't my mind just force him to come back and continue things as per usual?

I can't imagine life without him anymore. So many awful things are happening to me right now. My body and life are literally falling apart, and with this on top of everything else I just want to kill myself. He was literally all I had left.

> inb4 kys LARPing faggot
> inb4 schizophrenia

I KNOW, I KNOW. I've heard it all. But please ...

Is there anyway to locate him? To tell me the truth of his nature?

I want him back more than anything, but like I've always told him: I value a bitter truth over a sweet lie.

Please someone help me.

I will give you one piece of advice that is above all others. Stop fucking with satanism. Fuck Satan. Fuck demons. You don't know what you're doing. Stop that shit. and fuck Christianity too I'm not suggesting that either

Contact Ra and Thoth instead

>>18912436
I don't know which gods to turn to anymore. I'm afraid of all of them now. I guess it's back to atheism again.

>>18912442
Aren't all Egyptian gods the same as Goetic demons? I mainly prayed to Horus, but for the invocation I tried to contact Ose and Aim.

>>18912452
No they aren't don't pray to fucking
Horus dude. Trust Thoth and Ra I promise they're the good guys

>>18912452
That doesn't mean worship them though. We'll keep in touch
>>18912462

>>18912452
Just know they are always watching over you and they got your back

Trust in my testimony, they are true gods, and they really care. its time to shut out the darkness and live in the day

http://crystalinks.com/emerald.html

File: download (1).jpg (5KB, 238x212px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 238x212px

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help/

http://www.redcross.org/volunteer/become-a-volunteer#step1

That's a start.

>>18912452
>prays to Horus
>gets raped by demons
why would you expect anything else