Rasputin's Member

I've seen bigger

>>18902534

taken bigger*

>>18902537

I'm sure you have

its neither

>>18902534
No you haven't. That's the biggest cock in the planet.

>>18902554

there's a guy with a monster dick that stretched it his whole life with cinder blocks

you can't really suck it since it's mostly skin

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Let's ask ourselves: What was the secret to Rasputin's boner powers? I can't believe he was coincidentally so enigmatic and endowed at the same time. The man knew some shit.

On that note, I had a strange related experience once

>abstain 100% for a month
>jerk it ferociously after
>intentionally getting off on getting and staying 100% hard
>finish
>flaccid dick looks like its been stung by bees for 2 days after
>ponder what would happen if I only did this for the rest of my life but don't have the willpower to be a once a month guy

I suspect ol' Rasputin got his powers by doing something similar; Extended periods of chastity followed by short, intense bursts of insane hedonism. Anyway, can we have a regular Rasputin's Dick General? It's my favorite topic.

>>18902604

I heard he sucked his own dick and powered himself by his own essence, it was a well kept secret within the tzarina

You should try it

>>18902608
I ain't got those powers my dude. Please give a comprehensive review.

>>18902567
I've never heard of that. Why would he do that?

>>18902532
>it really his fucking dick?
actually, in the jar is his show dick. his fucking dick was lost in the fire. his dress balls are rumoured to be held in a private collection in the balkans.

>>18902697
Not same guy but I know who he's talking about.
Dude has a huge tube of socks and cloth around the dick at all times cause whatever he did to get it that big made it very sensitive.
The guy denies ever having done anything and says it was natural, but iirc other people from his village said that he did the cinder blocks thing

>>18902567
>>18902947
Got any links? I wanna see how badly he fucked his member.

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>>18902534
>>18902537
Classy.

>>18903947
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4139722/The-man-half-metre-PENIS.html

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>>18903959
>Dr Jesus David Salazar Gonzalez said: 'We have advised him "Roberto, the best thing for you is that the doctors give a normal shape to your penis so that it doesn't hurt you, in order to have sexual relationships, in order to have children".

>'But he doesn't accept it, he'd rather have a penis bigger than the rest of the people.

HAHAHAHAHAHA what a fucking legend

>>18902839
Underrated post 10/10

>>18903959
>Doctors believe lifting weights with his member as a teenager caused the size

What the fuck?

>>18902839
Made me giggle

>>18904317
That's a redpill that must be hidden.

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this screams scam to me from a mile. There isn't one photo available of his dick unwrapped from this cloth. It most likely is just a fake extension attached to his croth.

>>18904435
samefag here, while we're at it - is there any photo that shows Jonah Falcon's penis naked, not through his pants?
all these penile records could well be a clever psy-op.

>>18903959

I wonder if he passes out when he pops a boner

>>18902532
I bet it fucking stinks.

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>>18904481
>clever psy-op

Good theory.

>>18904435
>>18904481
>I really really want to see this huge shlong so badly

As someone with an exceptionally large cock I can confirm it does go hand in hand with mystical abilities. Probably the confidence.

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>>18903959

>>18904564
yes I do

>>18902532
Imagine (don't) how big it would become when it's engorged with blood.

>>18904481
There's one photo from some HBO special he was on when he was a lot younger and a lot less overweight. He's definitely packing but 13.5 seems like an exaggeration.

Despite what he says about wanting to be known for his other qualities, he sure puts a lot of attention on his dick.

>refers to it exclusively as "my 13.5 inches" in interviews
>favorite piece of clothing is supposedly tiny cycling shorts

>>18904484
He has a slightly above average penis and the rest is all loose skin

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>>18903959
>he attempted to have sex twice, but the first woman backed out as soon as she saw his penis.

>>18904009
>>18903959
>He is also unable to sleep chest down and has to put his penis on its own pillow to escape discomfort during the night.

Nighty night Uncle Reamus

>it really his fucking dick?
Probably not. No one knows where that supposed dick came from, and it only popped up pretty recently. There are reports of Rasputin's dick earlier in history, but they don't match that at all (it was supposedly dried).

>>18902532
Who the fuck is Rasputin? Quick rundown please

>>18904950
Had a huge beard and a long schlong. Constantly shat all over the place

>>18904950
Alan Moore: Russian edition.

>>18904950
There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar
But the cassock he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son

But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
For power became known to more and more people
The demands to do something about this outrageous
Man became louder and louder

This man's just got to go, declared his enemies
But the ladies begged, don't you try to do it, please
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
Come to visit us they kept demanding
And he really came

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and said, I feel fine
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him 'til he was dead

>Oh, those Russians

>>18904950
The President of Russia had an inbred son that had his period constantly. Rasputin came cruising into Russia city (the capitol) like a combination between the pied piper and the frontman for a black metal group. He played his flute or some shit and the kid scabbed up and got better.

Later on some Russian governors killed everyone, but could not kill Rasputin. They tried poison, Ivan Drago, and the Kurgen, but nothing worked. Eventually they gave up and Rasputin dropped the "ras" from his name and was declared president of the klingon empire for life.

>>18903959
>it's mostly foreskin
>would be 7 inches if it wasn't for all the foreskin.

pfft.

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>>18904481
>>18904435
late to the thread, but if this is accurate I think his life sucks

>>18905643
just look how he lives. that is a sad man

>>18903959
>Average human: 5 inches
>Gorilla: 1 inch
Well this is an interesting revelation...

>>18905639
Yeah, thats just cheating. I am sure there is some dude out there with some weird dick tumor that is even bigger.

>>18904481
There's actually a video where he plays with himself and even cums, no one ever mentions it so I don't know if people are aware it exists. He's big but but not 13 inches big.

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Guys like Rasputin are what niggers fear most.

Big White Cock.

>>18904317
https://www.pegym.com/penis-exercises/how-does-jelqing-work-jelq-techniques-jelquing

>>18905610
shut the fuck up normie

>>18905610
good ol' Turisas

>>18906103
Stop being gay

>>18906338
They did do a good cover, but it's hard to beat Boney M.

>>18902532
She craves it

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>>18903959
>Mr Cabrera says his penis is a 'disability' and stops him working - forcing him to rely on food banks to survive.
Typical spic.

>>18905643
>Doctors recently did a thorough examination of Mr Cabrera's penis, confirming suspicions that the bulk of his nearly 20 inch penis is foreskin

>>18906668
yeah... he qualifies as black... welfare, huge useless cock

>>18906778
see
>>18906520

>>18906801
just because you want me to kiss you, that don't make me gay.

black "people" are not good. it is a fact.

>>18906808
Wanna rub our huge cocks

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>>18903959
jesus! so all this guy needs is basically just a circumcision to remove all the stretched foreskin and have a normal life which he refuses?

I can't even ...

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>>18905628
Basically this

>>18905628
>could not kill Rasputin.
That's made up, by the way. The only account of him being hard to kill came from one guy who kept changing the story. The autopsy report showed that he died quickly after being shot in head and thrown in the river.

>>18902532
It's a pickled pecker. Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peckers. How many pickled peckers, did Peter Piper prick? Pick?

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>>18907823
>After being shot in the head and thrown in the river.

Sounds fun.

>>18902534
Its the angle faggot.

>>18904491
I don't know, it looks like she takes decent care of herself

>>18907830
you are god

>>18903959
>He has to put his penis on its own pillow to escape discomfort during the night.

I know I shouldn't have laughed

>>18905966
Honestly he could be 13" when he was 18, it sucks but most dicks shrink a little as you age like I used to be a 7" but now 5.75". One thing is my disgusting belly fat pad fat or whatever that pubic stuff is called. If I strain on that it reveals a whole inch.

I don't care much because I am basically an incel but it has kinda bummed my confidence a lot.