Where to fill in demon application?

>>18852284
I remember the days when you could just walk in and talk to the head devil in charge and walk out with a job. Nowadays, it's all online and uploading your resume to a website that mangles it to where you have to fix it again and then fill out the same information manually. It's truly next-level evil right there, but so impersonal.

>>18852284
I'm not even religious but the whole point of getting 'salvated' is the fact that your mortal desires become void and you no longer feel the need to 'hustle'.

You ARE an edgelord, and a faggot.

>>18852318
Wait until I get accepted my man, you'll be the first soul that I'll torture.

>>18852309
lol

Just walk right into the office and ask for an application. I went last week, super nice reception lady. Application is a little tedious (they ask for 4 reccomendations, wtf?) but other than that it's pretty standard.

You know demons are basically slaves, right? Only God and man have free will.

>>18852539
More like SLAVES TO FUN, amiright?

Best have a good resume ready. I doubt they'd accept anything less than a murderous psychopath. I bet they have a special place in hell for those who fail the interview.

>>18852284
>I'm Christian
>Jesus Christ is my savior
>I want to be a demon
>After the Second Coming, Satan and all his fallen angels will be cast into a lake of fire and consumed. AND I WANT IN ON IT!!!

I suggest you look up every word in your post, and verify that they mean what you think they mean.

>>18852638
>hot sodomy in the pool
Sounds fine, mang.

Heaven is worse, remember:

The temperature of heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is the Bible, Isaiah 30:26 reads,

Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days.

Thus, heaven receives from the moon as much radiation as the earth does from the sun, and in addition seven times seven (forty nine) times as much as the earth does from the sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of heaven: The radiation falling on heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation. In other words, heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann fourth power law for radiation
(H/E)4 = 50

where E is the absolute temperature of the earth, 300°K (273+27). This gives H the absolute temperature of heaven, as 798° absolute (525°C).

The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6°C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. Revelations 21:8: But the fearful and unbelieving... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone [sulfur] means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, which is 444.6°C. (Above that point, it would be a vapor, not a lake.)

We have then, temperature of heaven, 525°C. Temperature of hell, less than 445°C. Therefore heaven is hotter than hell.

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41KB, 290x444px

>>18852638
Jesus can still forgive him. Just as long as he does it someone in his life. Only through Christ and the Holy Spirit, can one be allowed into heaven. Jesus died for your sins, Gods only son, actually died for you. If you don't repent to your Lord you will burn in hell forever, that is a solid fact. Amen.

Being in Hell means being unable to repent. A demon will, in a seemingly grand way, reject all concepts of 'good' and rather rejoice in the 'bad'. He turns his evil into good, but it is a false illusion which only brings despair. You don't want this, be assured. Demonic pride is just an illusion.

>>18852284
there is no application for it. you cant be born a tiger since your already a human can you?

the best you can hope for is basically being worthy of merging with and thats 100% personal preference of the entity looking for a new skin suit

>>18852647
>>18852662
>>18852638
You're missing the point you dipshits. I'm Christian, I'm a good boy. But I ain't no pussy bitch, I don't wanna go to heaven and chill, I wanna be a ''sufferer'' and set shit on fire, nomsayin?

Also eternal despair and agony is subjective, some people revel in it so tell me again why shouldn't I want to be a demon?

>>18852284
Just slide yourself over to another earth plane, you'd be a demon there

>>18852677
And you claim not to be an edgelord. You're at very least into religious-themed sadomasochism.

I don't have a problem with you wanting to be a demon. I think you're dumb to, but I also believe you own yourself, so you can do as you please with your afterlife (should there be one). Go to Hell with my blessing, as it were.

The problem lies in the fact that, in the Abrahamic religions, you can't. You go where God sends you. Also, humans are humans, they do not become angels. Not in Heaven, not in Hell.

This is why I suspect that you're confusing a Christian upbringing and cosmology with being actively Christian yourself. I don't think you paid attention in church or read the Bible.

*666# and dial
Talk to local marquis for application.

>>18852284
Nigga u cant become a demon. Demons are unclean spirits that have never been human. They may as well be aliens. IE; Reptillians