How do I summon my familiar?

Magic, pokemon magic.

>>18777601
Gotta have enough mana

>>18777601
open up your zipper

Jerk off into a cup and drink it. Works every time

>>18777601
they choose you. you do not bid them to do so.

Give it a name, keep it on a tight leash and start talking to it.

>>18778081
This would be a piss poor relationship. To me, a familiar is an animal that develops meaningful nonverbal communication with you to the point it takes place outside of ordinary time and space. It is possible, and many animals seek it out if you are worthy.

>>18777601
I usually draw a pentagram on the floor with my shit, then proceed to charge the pentagram with piss (I make sure I drink lots of koolaid first).

Then I puke to add the one last spiritual ingredient to the pentagram.

I them proceed to roll around in the sacred circle whilst quacking like a duck (my familiar is a duck name Mr. Dicetoes)

Once Mr. Dicetoes is summoned I summon an orderly with the red button to give me a sponge bath.

File: image.jpg (13KB, 278x181px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 278x181px

>>18778111
>my familiar is a duck name Mr. Dicetoes
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>>18778111
This only works on certain ducks. Mallards I believe.

Anyway, the familiar relationship is not supernatural so much as extrasensory and pretty neat and observable. It is in no way an ownership\pet thing... it is a mutual respect and coexistence thing. Symbiosis... brotherhood.

>>18778111
I tried this and nothing happened... until later when I realised my familiar is a cockroach.