What kind of dangers lurk in the forest?

Bears, wolves, horny moose.

We div thread #2 nao

>>18733035
Careless hunters

Anyone want a tarot read? innawoods edition

>>18733035

Honestly, the most dangerous thing is being unprepared. Dying of thirst, hunger, or from the elements. Next tier is normal predators like bears or wolves. Any sort of supernatural or paranormal being is going to be fairly rare to ever encounter unintentionally.

>>18733082
I'll take a reading.

>>18733035
Your own fears.

File: 0a11afb6b06cf3f61b5518b2850e51cc.jpg (75KB, 530x441px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 530x441px

The kind that don't like interlopers in their forest.

>>18733035
Depends on how far you go in. If you're talking like "an hour from a small town" levels of in the forest the biggest danger is probably people or maybe an animal. I did summer work at national parks a few years in college, here's a quick rundown of the things I encountered "in the woods"
>drug addicts
meth users frequently search the woods for Indian arrowheads, apparently it's a very common thing in that community to collect them as a hobby.
>gay sex rings
I'm not talking gay dudes randomly hooking up, I'm talking large groups of affluent dudes from the city having fucking orgies in the woods. The creepiest thing about these guys was how well connected they were, the county sheriff worked with some of the park rangers to catch them at one point and received a call from our fucking senator telling them to cancel it and leave them alone.
>edgy teenagers larping as satanists
These guys were a pain in the ass because they'd always trash any kind of public facility they could get in to with a bunch of rodent bones and pentagrams. They also broke into some redneck's house while he was gone and murdered all of his dogs.
>chads fucking staceys
pretty self explanatory

The most common supernatural entities you'll encounter innawoods include Chupacabra, Skinwalkers and ManBearPig.

After that, your next-biggest concern is probably run of the mill un-paranormal shit like getting lost and starving, or being eaten by a bear.

>>18733035
Inclement weather, disease, vermin, drug addicts.

File: OIYbt8j.jpg (271KB, 1200x800px) Image search: [Google]

271KB, 1200x800px

Is Bigfoot real?

File: guardian-amiibo.png (138KB, 568x251px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 568x251px

>>18733035

>>18733082
Yes, please.

>>18733082

Gib reading bls

>>18733317
Gonna need to elaborate on the gay sex rings.

File: Ka-ching.jpg (19KB, 336x344px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 336x344px

>>18733402
All I'll say is that they consider semen to be a form of blood, and thusly hail from a distant line of vampires, who have now found a way to virtuously fulfill their primeval fetishes

>>18733419
Are these the psychic globalists I hear so much about?

>>18733317

>gay sex rings
>well connected guys involving the senator calling and telling the sheriff to knock it off

Explain. Were there any other weird things you've found with them? Were they wearing anything specific or was there anything suspicious? Also, what state was it in?

File: 1364799232081.jpg (103KB, 980x699px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 980x699px

>>18733425
Think about it
how did you first learn about the Bogdanoff family?

On the series premeire of Legion on FX?

>>18733035
killer tomatoes

>>18733430
they were wearing each other
as gloves

>>18733402
Basically every park in the U.S., from your local city parks to national parks, will have problems with gays "cruising" there. This particular group was a bit different in that they were very organized and they were very wealthy. To give you an idea of the level of organization they would usually have lookouts who would sit in cars on the side of the roads leading to the areas where they were meeting, they also had walkie talkies that the lookouts would use to communicate, and at least once I had a guy in a Mercedes tail my work truck to keep tabs on where I was during the day, from what I heard they would do this to cops and park rangers in the area too. They also all had really nice cars, like way nicer than the normal people that would be going to that park.

I know that at least a few cops said "fuck it" at one point and arrested a few of them for indecent exposure, but I'm pretty sure the charges were dropped and it was shortly after that the park management office and the county got calls from our senator's office telling us to leave them alone.

>>18733488
Why don't men just fuck men at home?

>>18733539
their wives usually object

>>18733539
I'm pretty sure this >>18733560 was the case, I think a lot of them were married and in the closet.

>>18733035
It depends on where you are, but in the forests around my place, in order of threat to humans:

>Wild pigs
>Cougars
>Spoops of assorted flavors.
>Wild Dogs
>Bears
>Wolves

>>18733560
Seems like a good reason to not get married.

File: china-police-vs-wild-boar-10.jpg (121KB, 950x625px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 950x625px

>>18733589
What kind of spoops is a man likely to run into while exploring deep in the woods? 7.62x39 can sort out boar and dogs, but can it do the same for spoops?

>>18733035
We got kustaka up here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kushtaka?wprov=sfla1

Sneks

File: Screen Shot 2017-03-05 at 4.37.50 PM.png (2MB, 1368x855px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1368x855px

,,,,,,,,,,,,,, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C77sa7AD4WI

File: thestairsman.jpg (104KB, 700x524px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 700x524px

>>18733035
The stairs, man. The stairs.

>>18733650
>but can it do the same for spoops?
Depends what kind of spoop. I follow the rule that if it couldn't stop a charging grizzly, it's not good enough to take on spoops.

Only ever had one actual run in with spoops, don't know exactly what it was (something vaguely coyote looking, but longer, probably 6 or 7 feet nose to tail, with patchy piss colored fur and yellow eyes). My friends and I put 5 .308 shots into it and it didn't even respond. It just turned and fucking watched us.

We know we hit, because we could see blood spatters and tufts of fur coming off, but it gave zero shits. As soon as we realized we weren't hurting it we all hauled ass back to the camp and bailed.

>>18733779
>something vaguely coyote looking, but longer, probably 6 or 7 feet nose to tail, with patchy piss colored fur and yellow eyes
Honestly sound like a mountain lion that was very sick. Where were you at?

>>18733797
>Honestly sound like a mountain lion
Nah, my friend Kieth and I have shot mountain lions before. This thing had a distinctly canine face, but longer and narrower, and it's ears were too long and thin (we thought it was a cougar too till it got out into the clearing), and this thing was *incredibly* thing. In terms of body shape it made us thing of a ferret more than a coyote or cougar, because even though this thing was probably 6 or 7 feet long, it wasn't any higher off the ground than a normal coyote.

In terms of look I could probably best describe it like this: take an image of a wolf, compress the height down to 75%, expand the width out 200%, and tint the remaining satan weasel piss yellow.

>where
Idaho, west of Yellowstone.

>>18733035
One time while talking a walk in the woods with my baby-sitter, I was about 6 or 7 at the time, we saw a pipe with a grate on it. This pipe was rather large, most definitely easy enough for someone to get into. However, the grate prevented anyone from getting in. Inside was a large Raggedy Anne doll. While this isn't a danger in and of itself, the thought of someone crawling through a drainage pipe, to place a doll at the end of it, for reasons I can only speculate, still creeps me out to this day. I could only imagine if a small child walked past it my himself or herself, trying to get in to grab it.

>>18733849
Sounds like bait.

>>18733317
How do I get in on that gay sex ring?

>>18733866
This, I deed a sugar daddy and they sound rich as fug

>>18733875

>a huge dick in the ass for money, fame and glamour

good deal senpai

>>18733099
terrain can also present significant hazards

>>18733769
fuck off reddit cancer

Got a search and rescue buddy. Stairs in the forest and really Fucked abductions/missing persons.

Any norcal/ Nevada fags here?
>inb4 California is cancer

>>18733952
California is cancer. I hate it. I can't wait to move to Oregon where it's so fucking green

>>18733965
Where do you live? And Oregon is still too close.

>>18733952
Nevada/norcal fag right here my man. Live by north side Tahoe

File: 1486148871784.jpg (637KB, 1200x1200px) Image search: [Google]

637KB, 1200x1200px

My uncle Steve is a danger. He is the danger of the forest. Uncle steve is not my favorite uncle but he is the most.

One day, uncle steve found a deer, wounded. He gutted it and brought home fresh deer to eat, and needless to say, it was not the only dear that we ate. Because Uncle Steve found a lot of deer, wounded.

One day, uncle Steve spotted a young boy but I didn't know him. He asked him if he was lost and he was and he offered him dear, wounded, fresh, and he said no, and I think my Uncle steve didn't let him go home and he's still with uncle. Ha ha.

One day, I found a deer, but it wasn't wounded.

My favorite Uncle is Steve

>>18733390
I still can't figure out how to kill these things

>>18734016
Any spoops my man?

>>18733991
San Diego :(

>>18734054
Sorry m8

>Be me
>Decide about 3 summers I would go back to my roots
>I was born and raised in Alaska, so I book a ticket there near the town I grew up in
>Get off the plane at about 12 PM
>Drive a rental car to the hotel I'd be staying at
>4 miles from my old house
>Get in contact with the family who owns the house now, they said I could come in and look around or go look around the back woods
>I ask them if I could camp in the woods
>They say no
>sike, the woods is owned by the state, and part of a park where I could camp
>Tell them that
>They say ok and that theres a clearing about 3 miles inwards I could set up in
>Rent a cold resistant sleeping bag, tent, some food, and head off
>Reach the clearing after about a mile of hiking
>Set up camp in the gorgeous clearing with a stream running through
>Beer cans scattered about obviously someones been here before
>Relax for most of the day after getting a fire going
>Night comes, get a bit of anxiety but figure drinking some whiskey would loosen me up and make it easier to sleep
>There's still a lot of daylight out because the sun never really sets in alaska, but my circadian rythm tells me when to sleep
>I wake up and check my clock, it's been 4 hours
>Still light outside, but dusky, it's about 12 AM
>Get outside my tent to stretch and put some wood on the fire
>the fire was completely out, but I saw a light in the distant trees
>Kind of get a bit spooked, who would be out here with a light that hour
>Slowly and stealthily hike towards it
>I get about 20 yards from the light and see it's a group of 6 people each holding candles and chanting
>What in the fuck is going on here
>See two more walk in from the other side of them and join in the chanting
>Look in the center of their circle, and of course it's a pentagram
>At this point I am thorougly spooked and try to slowly back off
>They all seem to be focusing on their chanting
>As I am walking backwards, trying to keep an eye on them, I trip on a branch
>cont

>>18734914
>I stumble and make a decently audible sound and they stop chanting
>One looks up from the circle right at me
>"Hello there!" he says
>I get up and say "Didn't mean to barge in, I was just camping up there and was trying to see what was going on"
>He replies "Oh don't mind us, in fact, care to join us?"
>I kindly refuse his offer and just tell him I would be making my way back
>He gets a sad look on his face and says "Alrighty then, have a good night!"
>I say "you too! cya!"
>Walk at a reasonable pace for the first 10 yards, then run for the rest back to the house
>Don't even bother to grab my camping stuff, just straight to my car
>Sleep in the rental car for the night
>Go back down the next morning
>My camping stuff is gone
>Get back in car, head to the rental store to tell him what happened
>See a man walk out, he looks familiar
>Go to the clerk, tell him all the stuff was stolen
>He tells me that someone else returned it for me
>Not sure if I should be thankful or even more spooked
>Decide never to return to Alaska again after that trip
fucking cults man, they ruin the fun in everything.

>>18734929
You should have joined.

>>18733176
Is that supposed to be the spiders in mirkwood?

>>18735148
Would you have? Not that anon but joining in on some ritual full of strangers with no weapons is a good way to get kidnapped and God knows what else.

>>18733317
Why would you lie shill? What are you trying to distract from?

>>18733769
thanks for warning me about the stairs bro

>>18735422
they even returned his camping stuff for him
that's what i call a friendly cult