OK, this sounds retarded but my roommate and I have witnessed

being high and eating the cheese slices

We aren't high

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>>18548141
You sure you're not just abusing drugs OP?

>>18548147
100% sure

>>18548141
Really, though, if you're not doing anything that would cause that. There are many theories. It could be something dealing with a spirit entity. Anything paranormal going on? Besides cheese disappearing?

>>18548159
Well cared for houseplants just dying for no reason
Roommates wife's job is to tend plants and her plants around the house are all just dying out of nowhere

Dumbest happeing ever

ghosts get hungry too. these ones are just trying to make a nice Caesar salad with what's available.

We need answers

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>>18548141
It's your friendly neighborhood house gnome. He lives in your kitchen walls and demands tribute in cheese but other shit works too. He takes the tributes when ever he likes, mostly in front of your faces to fuck with you. He gets a cheeky giggle out of your confused faces.

Yup that's the answer wrap it up trybot

>>18548197
this, OP should leave out some nice havarti or something instead of kraft slices if he wants to keep them happy.

>>18548172
houseplants die for a lot of reasons, OP. parasites, wrong amount of sun, wrong temp, etc. is this the plants' first winter in their current location? in other words: last winter, were these plants in the same house (and same part of the house) as they are now?

One plant she has had since high school almost a decade

>>18548141
If not trolling, it could be a curse. Curses work in all sorts of mysterious ways, but all with the same intent, to fuck with you. Do the playing card test to see if you are cursed, if so, you must do a cleansing ritual.

https://exemplore.com/wicca-witchcraft/Simple-curse-breaking-for-the-beginner

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>>18548141

>it's just happening to cheese slices

Couldn't read that with a straight face, op

>>18548141
>ghost is eating my cheese when I make sandwiches
I want this to be real

Its true it's happened twice

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>>18548141
I actually know whats going on. It's happened to me too OP

It's pic related. He's taking your cheese because it aint easy being cheesy. He's a cheetah so that's why he can take the cheese so fast that it looks like it disappears right before your eyes. The dying plants? cheetahs are basically cat innit? well cats are fucking shitters so obviously he hides in your plants and pisses in them. Just leave your door open for a night with some slices of cheese around the door frame and he'll let himself out.

>>18548141
There's a demonic, bird-like creature known as a Cikavac that witches sometimes use to steal dairy products such as milk or cheese from their neighbors. I'm no expert, but it could be your culprit.

>>18548281
I almost wanna agree this, but on the other hand, who the hell is gonna curse cheese?

>>18548381
>>18548384
Chester Cheezzlebub

>>18548389
agree with this*

I shouldn't post on benadryl

>>18548390
This

We also have 2 cats and a dog wouldnt they act weird

Come on skeptics wouldn't you fuck with a guys cheese if you were a spoopy ghost?

>>18548426
now that you mention it, it'd probably be the thing he'd least expect.

>>18548141
It's the spirit of /ck/ trying to stop you from eating the processed plastic shit cheese

>>18548392
You're on 4chan you goof

>>18548141
Yore roommate ate the cheese when you weren't looking.

Help me /x/ a mind flaying demon from the 7th pit of hell is stealing my cheese slices.

Some times spirits do very silly things, one stole monopoly money from me, its very silly, but you have to understand some of them will behave like a bored human would.

>>18548656
Spirits do the darndest things, don't they. Just last week, my wallet disappeared from my back pocket!

>>18548141
shinigami also like cheese.

>>18548677
>Spirits do the darndest things
this needs to be a show

This post itself is evidence you do not have a strong grasp on what should be considered proof.

>>18548681
lel

for those who would listen but not understand

even more so for those who would understand, but need not listen
http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/for/5968551360.html

>>18548141
poltergeist? how long you been there. leave if it gets worse. cheese is one thing but if it starts vanishing your keys, wallet, car, whatever, that is a problem.

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Hey guys, Worldcorp Enterprises CEO Melvin Creepyhands here. Yeah, we're stealing your cheese now. Fuckin hilarious right but there is actuallya real purpose behind this. you see, a few months ago we discovered that the antichrist is frozen in a vial under Antarctica. Mad shit right? Yeah we can't let that sucker out because he'd fuck up Operation Steal All the Money and Gas Everyone With Chemtrails so we had the boys at the lab whip up some kind of magical barrier to stop that guy waking up and fucking our shit up. Turns out that the only defence against the antichrist is cheese so the boys are currently working on covering his frozen body in a 3-foot thick cocoon of pure cheese. of course we had to get that shit from somewhere so i just sent the shadow masters out to get a whole bunch of it they're very good at collecting cheese but they also tend to do things in a bit of a roundabout way by which i mean they sneak into peoples houses, steal their cheese, and murder them in their sleep but hey if it keeps old antychrist in his cave thats fine by me. Gives us plenty of time to concentrate on the important shit like uh idunno layin chemtrails turning frogs gay wiping out dissent that sort of thing anyway point is that OP and everyone who's posted in this thread knows too much so yea you guessed it your all getting hit by the cancer satellite lol get da fuck outta heaaaaa


yo this is Big money melv and I'm out

>>18548141
You need to set some kind of trap, Try digging a hole, cover it with twigs and leaves and put a slice of cheese on top.

>>18550070

nice try, freemasons or whatever you are, almost fooled me. I know you steal cheese, it happend to me too, you're not getting away by playing retarded, posting it in the open as if it wasn't real!

your roommate is stealing your cheese slices

>>18550623
Can you imagine having OP as your roommate? Never have to buy any food, just eat his and pretend it's fucking spooky,

>>18548251
Kek

>>18548141
>cheese busters

i came here to get spookd not to laugh

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>The road to freedom.

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Is your butthole sore in any way op?

damn /x/ is as spooky as they said

>>18548681
Lighto-kun?

>>18548141
This is interesting , there are a lot of this type of incidents in /r/glitch_in_the_matrix (leddit,btw).

Have you bough something used , like from a garage sale this last couple of days ?

The sign of plants dying , is not a good sympton.

Are you located near forests or water sources ?

Have you noticed (this is important) any time dilation today , or the last couple of days?

>>18551601
Yup, most people think this place is only for creppypastas, ghosts etc, but this kind of events really raises the hairs of my back.

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>>18548141
This is my favorite thread. This is the quality shit-posting I come to 4chan for.
>be OP
>making sandwiches with my gay lover (I'm a fag btw)
>house is haunted
>ghosts keep eating all my goddamn cheese
>get mad, post on 4chan

Update i made another sandwich but now when i do i have to announce when i put my cheese down to gather other ingredients or i just put my cheese down last

>>18548141
>His wife says we are dumb
FURTHER RESEARCH ALONG THESE LINES IS NEEDED

OP has carbon monoxide poisoning

>>18548141
>wrapped slices of cheese
you animal, eat real cheese

>>18548141
Man that keeps happening to me as well! I have no idea what kind of entity this is, but I've noticed that it's also making me gain weight.

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>>18548141
Just needin' some cheese fo muh sammich.

>>18548708
That undetailed butthole.

What are the odds I get murdered if I go to the sellers place?

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>>18550070
>sneak into peoples houses
>steal their cheese
>murder them in their sleep

well. here's your answer op.
it was nice knowing you.

>>18548677
The ancient spirit of tyroneis niggus must have visited you!

It's probably your cheese tulpa, pour salt in your eyes to get rid of it

>>18548141
have you tried recording or does that not make it work for some reason? maybe try recording the event through a mirror?

>>18548390
you magnificent bastard

>>18556546
Yeah just put of a Nest webcam in the corner of the kitchen, 24hour footage of everything.

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>>18548141
Homer did it. he is as real as your effort to find real answer on this board.