I have accomplished a great feat. Yet, I find myself unable to

>>18506764
Transcendence my friend.
I believe you may be among the few rare humans who have achieved it.
I do feel that I to recently have ascended from my younger ignorant self.
It feels good man.

>>18506774

Interesting. I called it Metempsychosis for lack of a better word. Do you have any links pertaining to this concept?

>>18506774
I have ascended 279 times, and transcended twice. My next ancient soul is due in another half an hour, and that would be my 50th.

>>18506781

You might want to rethink your life choices.

>>18506784
Why? For sacrificing billions of hero souls?

>>18506776
I don't have the sources off the top of my head, but here is something related

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

there was a list of historical celebrities who were said to have transcended also, they most had similar characteristics, eileenor roosevelt and ghandi was listed.

>>18506764
1: Good for you!
2: I doubt it's gonna last forever just on it's own. Exercise it by living a more positive life as the "new you".
3: I do not understand how this conflicts with, contradicts or disproves science (implying you mean the kind that's based on empirical research). It only contradicts the theory of strict coherence of character or a person. (I hope I'm using the right words here since english isn't my native language.)
4: I have experienced something similar when I found God. Therefore I believe experiences like this are considered instances of enlightenment.

I do not have any explanation for your specific experience.

We daydream the majority of our waking lives, which is not just meaning fanciful imaginings but remembering, planning, anticipating, etc. This is also overlaid onto the world around us, we make stories about the people we see, we speculate and judge people we don't know based on appearances. This daydreaming often becomes our reality, we suspend disbelief and respond to it as if it were real exactly similar to watching a movie or playing a video game - we become immersed. An example of this immersion in you reading this message, you are immersed in reading this message on a website using a phone/computer. Now you are again aware of your surroundings, the feeling of your body, of what you are doing.

Toxic regret is immersion in mental time-travel gone wrong, one relives the same thing inn their head, wanting it to be different, but the reality is that the past doesn't exist, not only is it inchangable but there is nothing to be changed. Anxiety and panic works the same way. The source of this dysfunctional relationship with our thoughts is evolutionary history, our ancestors lived in a world with constant existential threats and needed threat detection to match; it wasn't dysfunctional back in the stone age, but it is now. In our lives for most these threats are almost entirely gone, but the predisposition is there, and so our threat-detectors search out new threats to latch on to. Our society encourages this because these predispositions can be exploited to sell products and make people do what you want for power, and also because our fast-paced hypercompetitive society compels constant planning and anticipating.

What could have happened to you is that you have begun to not just see through the illusion of your own thoughts but experience the illusory nature they can have. A phobic may know that their fears have no basis in reality, which helps little as the whole of the mind, including the subconscious, experiences otherwise and overrules conscious decision.

>>18506764

where´d you get that pic from?

>>18506824

http://www.marcovuyet.com/rebis25.jpg

>>18506870

Thanks.

also: what exactly did you do to transform your life?

Hot diggity damn... I bet you're like the first person ever to accomplish that shit.

>>18506890

Someone hurt me a lot. I used that memory, the pain involved and used it to kill myself. Once I was gone, a new me was free to take its place.

It was not a pleasant process. And do remember, for all intents and purposes that person is dead. I feel like an entirely new one. His life is not my life, his choices not mine.

This body, this mind, this life are mine now.

>>18506764
the pos traumatic stress created by a pseudo death isn´t so occult as you may wish it to be.

In scientific terms as a human who has conquered death you no longer fear it, thus death like events don't scare you anymore.

You should google it, people change after they get a second chance in this plane :)

>>18506938

hmm, no, that's not it I'm afraid. I haven't been afraid of death for years. I've actually almost died quite a few times. One of those times I actually laughed because I thought I was about to die and I thought it was kinda funny that there was help about 3 meters and I couldn't even whisper let alone move.

>>18506995
Well if we are being humblebragz here, please allow me to share. I live in a delusion of being paranormal practitioner of sorts, it had started many years ago and it does not stop, I have this secret inside of me that I can only share in this forum.
I am so damn happy that GOOD LUCK keeps happening to me. Things happen outside of my will that end up effecting me in positively wonderful ways. But personal self fulling things cannot be the end that is happiness.
I am so happy when my magiks work, the only thing I work for in life, it all happens by paranormal forces. Twice it happened yesterday. I heart is like it is floating, I will never lose this blissful feeling.
I feel smart, I feel like I really know and understand the world and politics of humanity. I am happy with the world.
I love this feeling of unfathomable power and I still have more to do. These goals I have I will only be able to get by use unexplainable magik hexes, yet I am positively confident that they will come to be, because of me.

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>>18506995
Ego death is useful. Keep building. If you haven't started with delusions than you have something(some people just go psycho). I had to actually die, and come back to get there. Be well.

>>18506764
dark night of the soul

>>18507029
fuck off frog poster

>>18507029

To be honest this thread is fulfilling any lingering interest I had in the how.

No offence to the people here but I have no intention of making occult stuff the focus of my life. What happened was necessary, I'm grateful and now I'm going back to science stuff that I can actually explain rationally to other people.And social stuff. And basically just living life well because to be honest I've been failing at life for the last few years.

>>18507021

I'd be offended if I could stop laughing.

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>>18507067
>I'd be offended
Don't be offended, we are both transcended people. Be happy! Life is good! Life is bliss! We are being rewarded for being the best humans on earth!

>>18507067
>>18506764
Hey OP, as >>18507029
has already said, you experienced ego death, also known as psychic death by Jung.

This is a sought after experience for many people practicing magical or spiritual paths, as it is a gateway into higher awareness of self and ones place in the environment.

You may supplement this experience by reading some Carl Jung and/or some Joseph Campbell. "Hero With a Thousand Faces" would be a good place to start with Campbell since he specifically addresses ego death in that book.

Either way the experience you had is supernatural only in that it is tied to the metaphysical and religious, it is in fact a well documented phenomenon in psychology, and you are not going crazy. If it has left you in any way unsettled, a good therapist should be able to help you out and make use of the change.

Best of luck

>>18506938
>>18507124
very helpful to me guise, not op but that info does make sense, i wonder if i can do all that without the danger/suicide aspect of it

>>18506764

>Instead, I think I killed myself. Not literally of course. But I think I somehow killed my ego, my conscious self and rebuilt a new one.

Who did you do it? Just thinking?

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 8: JoJolion

>I have killed the ego
this would make you retarded

>>18506764
goddam why do I keep fucking thinking of westworld while browsing /x/ so many people who have subjective problems fear introspection usually because they hit a wall of some kinda guilt that blinds them. as long as you know how the wall was built breaking the wall will be easier.

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>>18506764

> daemonic possession
> demon -> kike
> daemon -> socrates

>>18506764
The same thing happened to me when i made a conscious decision to stop being a little bitch and grab life by the balls. It was around the same time i fully realized that there's a difference between knowing and doing.

>>18507191

Just thinking. I didn't do any rituals or any actual suicide attempt. It's a metaphorical death, taking place in thought.

>>18507488
Interesting, did you read any Carlos Castaneda's books?

>>18508373

Never heard of him. I stopped doing occult research years ago.

>>18506764
So many things to address in one post.

>phobias don't go away overnight
They can and they have. People tend to latch onto their phobias for a multitude of reasons, but they're still doing the act of latching on. At some point we identify ourselves with how we feel.
You probably worked backwards.

I wish I could go on, but tl;dr you experienced ego death without the passifying power of drugs.

I suppose you might as well take your experience and do whatever it is you feel like doing.

>>18506764

That does sound like calcination in the most simplest terms; 'Heat the substance in a crucible until its reduced to ashes'. You've done the oil of Vitriol, which is the destruction of the ego, where you are assaulted, and will overcome the challenges and thoughts regarding life as a humbling process. It's the first major operation in the creation of the Stone of the Sage. The next step, dissolution helps resurfacing of the real you, and the waters held back; in addition to removing much of the unworthy material - which includes your phobias.

And don't tell me this isn't researched with that picture as an opening post.

>>18506764
In my experience, the ego is the software, or OS, to the physical body's hardware. It's primary job is to keep the body alive and functional. It hosts different personalities that are like applications or subroutines to be used in different survival/social situations. Everything you know is in there, every learned behavior. Extreme danger or trauma can break down the software, and allow it to be reprogrammed to better survive in its environment. This isn't usually consciously done by an individual since it would be extremely painful, but sometimes circumstances allow this to occur naturally. Being able to modify yourself in this way is pretty important, as another anon pointed out, to begin to understand your component parts and "how to magic".

In my opinion you've essentially spontaneously self-initiated, OP. And I'd say, from your instinct towards self-perfection, on the LHP side.

Congrats on making it through that rough stage. Just be aware that it looks like you may be neglecting your "shadow self" a bit, and that's also important to work with.

>>18509873

>>And don't tell me this isn't researched with that picture as an opening post.

I used to research Jung (where you inevitably bump into alchemy) and I studied western esotericism as a minor at university which had a module on alchemy as well.

But I haven't studied that in quite some time. Still, it is close enough I find it extremely interesting. I will delve into some of my old material to check up on it. Would you have any additional recommendations?

The only part I so far have real doubts about is the "real me" part. The real me, the core resides within, contemplating serenely. I am the seneschal of the real me. I deal with the business of mundane life, I gather information, I represent the real me with other people. I have no doubt that I am the better version of my predecessor. He did not deal with life properly. He failed at it. He was filled with fear and did not protect the real me. Not even 3 weeks in and I'm doing a much better job.

But, this is close enough that I find it very interesting. Thank you.

>>18509894

How would you describe your paradigm? What sources inform your views of the world (especially magically)? What makes you think I'm negating my shadow self?

Sorry about all the questions. My curiosity is getting the better of me.

>>18510830

OP here, so far this seems interesting:

http://ordosacerdotalvstempli.net/seven.html

>>18510838
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StrbppmsZJw

>>18507209
True. Shame, fear, what have you. If it doesn't feel good and you aren't relaxing into it, it's a wall. But you don't always need to know how the wall was built, just being aware of it can be a useful first step to having it clear away.

>>18506764
Wow, this thread was exactly what I needed to read. Going through something similar, couple questions for you bud:

How do you distinguish between new you and old you? I mean like surely your phenomenology hasn't changed all that radically, it seems like your attitude has, but the slant of your thoughts is still similar to the old you. How do you know whether a thought pattern is getting you back into your old habits again without completely disassociating from your thought stream.

Like who I am is the whole package, it's not just a habit here and there. How do I become new while still having the same slant to my thoughts? And if you are completely different on the inside too, how'd you do it?

>>18510838
Any other sites like this? They're very illuminating

>>18512105

first, read this for a moment:>>18510830

What I am is perhaps not so easily seen. I see myself as a construct created by my true self to deal with the real world. It's quite possible that this is simply a stronger-than-usual but still normal "persona" as Jung understood it.

But, to do back, my new self is different in various ways. I am more aggressive, more assured of my actions. I do not have nearly the same fear level. I do not have the same level of social interest. My concentration has gone up.

Frankly, the only two reasons I decided to check in the more esoteric explanations are two. The first is the lacking of phobias, the panic attacks etc do not fit easily with me.

The second is how much I have changed, even thoughts. There are things he admired and respected and I'm not sure why. And while he is my predecessor, a part of me feels some minor contempt for him. Because my previous self failed. He was a very nice guy, but he failed.

In the 3 weeks since he died and I've come into being I've managed to hold a better household, slowly improve the finances, make new friends, start new hobbies. I am simply better at him at actually doing stuff. His life

that's the main difference between us probably. He thought, and thought, and thought. I am more than willing to do something fruitful with the thought.

And that's how I don't slip into his patterns. For one I am different. Two, sometimes I see myself do things like he did and I change, because the last thing I want is his lifestyle.

>>18512202

Just google any combination of alchemist terms. I found that one googling calcination or "stone of the sages"

>>18506764
Meh. Not occult - it's a well-known phenomenon that mental issues simply go away once your innards are integrated enough (i.e. ready).

You're conscious, therefore no, you didn't kill your ego.

Shifts of perspective like this are quite common in therapy.

>>18506774
Bullshit.

>>18506781
Why so many times ?

>>18513878

hey, this is OP. I'm pretty sure he was trying to mock me because he thinks I'm spouting utter bullshit. Or maybe he's mocking some of the other people in this thread.

Either way, he wasn't being serious.

>>18507021

>I feel like I really know and understand the world and politics

What is your understanding of politics and the world then?

Almost NOBODY has a clue of whats really going on

>>18513862

I get what you're saying. a lot of the "ego death" stuff seems suspicious to me. The ego is the mask of the inner child, attempting to harm or destroy seems like it could have, undesired consequences. like losing consciousness as you said.

>>18514086
>The ego is the mask of the inner child
Wrong.

>>18513740
So you've entered a headspace so definitively new you don't question the possibility of a backslide. All right cool thanks man

>>18514086

Read between the lines. When one disagrees with a term, check whether all parties understand the same definition of the term

If different parties have different definitions, it might be a semantic issue. Changing the term to another might solve it.

it sounds to me like you have become 'actualised' ie you are no longer getting in your own way and so are getting shit done. Some also call this enlightenment. I think maybe it should be called 're-defining ones perceptual parameters'. I think it can happen more than once and in a healthy (of body and mind) person it happens continually. You only notice if you get stuck and make a bit of a leap. What you are really doing is abandoning an old model of understanding and accepting a new one. Just because the new one is better, doesn't mean its right. I think a lot of people have these experiences, they think its mystical as shit and decide they know it all now. In reality though, they don't know it all, just a little (or even a lot) more than they did.

It also seems like lots of people are going through this sort of thing lately (including myself to a degree a few months ago). Is there something in the water?

Out of interest, how do you feel about your parents/ family? Are they strangers now?

>>18514522

Personally I'm switching between academic interest and apathy with the topic.The main interest in this wasn't sparked because of a sensation of omniscience but because some of the changes do not fit my expectations.

I can't tell much about family since I haven't interacted with them recently. I haven't felt the need.

>>18506764
>Instead, I think I killed myself. Not literally of course. But I think I somehow killed my ego, my conscious self and rebuilt a new one. The changes are frankly too much. My memories feel as if I've been reading someone elses journal entries. My priorities have shifted. I look at my/our/his past and I can't figure out why he did certain things. I look around myself and everything is so new. So many things that never came to my attention.
Can you explain exactly how you achieved this, OP?

>>18506911
you got emo because you got dumped, had a breakdown and now believe you're transcendent

get therapy you silly creature

>>18507196
only if there was something beyond it

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>>18506764
That sounds like almost literally me

>>18518901

That... is a very small picture.

>>18506796
pretty much this.