innawoods greentext spoops pls

I'm already in the woods
All the trees are dead and there's nobody around

Post your three favorite ones first OP

>>18450269
>innawoods
>"nothing spoop could possibly happen"
>spoop happen
>o shit
>die
>THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

>>18450280
sick brah

>>18450283
HOLY FUCK
>>18450281
i ain't got none my boy

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>>18450291
>i ain't got none my boy
So your entire contribution to /x/ is a demand to be spoonfed stories you're to lazy/stupid to find on your own.

>>18450294
yes

>>18450269
>be me
>innawoods with bros
>smell something like sulphur or rotting meat
>see something
>hairless humanoid creature with long nails
>it runs away
>look around, Barnabas is missing
>Barnabas reappears from woods, he acting strange, not talking, really unemotional
>forget about it and go home
>in bed, wake up for no reason
>look at my alarm clock
>it reads: 3:33AM
>hear a stick crunch, spin my head 270 degrees
>Barnabas is in my room
>"what the fuck you doing doo?" I scream, my four chins trembling with fear and exhaustion, im panting like i've run a marathon
>he replies "I wouldn't worry about it"
>shit myself because i hear my dad's car roll up the drive
>he comes upstairs and molests me and Barnabas

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>>18451996
good job, here's your prize

a

>>18452002
too small for me mate

>>18452013
>>18452002
>>18451996
>>18450283
Best innawoods thread to date

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>>18452081
Here are some from an innawoods thread a couple of months back, really unsettling shit

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>>18452188

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>>18452193

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>>18452193
>smells like home

>>18450296
I like you OP. I mean fuck you, go find stuff on your own, but also props for admitting you're a lazy asshole.

this threads off to a rough start

>>18450269
*eats cereal with a fork*
"it was crazy man... I was ina woods and"

>>18452201
>>18452188
>>18452193
fucking hilarious!
>the battle of hastings , SSSSAAAPPS!
&& the fat fucker going off on a segway.
excellent innawoods tales indeed.

>>18451996
sent a chill down my spine

>>18452723
love ya

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>>18450269
Uhhh, okay dude. Here's that one that gets posted a lot but whatever. No one else is trying

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>>18452193
> smells like home

>>18452188
I want to believe

>be me
>8 years old, camping with family in MN
>hear rustling in trees 20 ft from tents
>Hear dad get out of tent next to mine, whisper "stay still anon"
>footsteps go to edge of clearing, up to treeline
>hear cell phone ring, but it's not dad's ringtone, it's old Nokia ringtone (dad had a Motorola flip phone)
>Hear another phone start ringing, then another, then another, all coming from right at the edge of the woods, until there are like 20 phones ringing, over and over again
>hear mom unzip tent flap and she starts screaming like crazy
>Dad books it back to tent, footsteps from his boots sound like clubbing a seal
>Phones still ringing, mom is screaming, dad is screaming at her to shut up
>Phones stop ringing
>Everything is quiet, scared shirtless, don't fucking move until sun comes up, neither do parents
>Leave tent, go over to parents' tent
>Tent is empty
>Remember my dad is dead
>whowasphone.wav
>Open tent to check on mom

And then a skeleton popped out