Bullshit household magic

Or feel free to write me one if you feel that you're not full of shit. Thanks again. Let me know if you have a selection of these spells or are able to create them for diverse applications.

If you put crumpled aluminum in the microwave it creates magic

>>18424529
put a little change over a doorway you use often, it'll bring you money

>>18424557
I told my sister this when we were kids. Mom came home from work to my sister sperging out over the microwave being on fire and thinking it was some demon coming after her

>>18424529
take a candle, write the name of someone u dont like on it, draw all kinds of little symbols to help you visualize your rage, as the candle burns picture knifes stabbing them, and demons pulling them into the abyss.

>>18424529
automatic binary. if u sit on notpad, and go into a trance, and write out abunch of binary and like, feel spirits moving thro u or whatever, then take all the binary u wrote and convert it to ASCII... some translation programs will read the ASCII as mandarin chinese, and other languages, u may experiment with... if you translate the ascii from mandarin to say english.... the message you get may shock you.

Loving it so far.

>>18424529
hand a broom over your door for good luck (on the inside) a small one is best, preferably with something smelling good like cinnimon?)
Make sure it's not a broom for sweeping though

>>18424529
if a wiccan, a dopey new age shaman wannabe, or someone with a focus in nature magic tries to bind you or curse you, get a cheap dollar store plastic necklace that looks nice, look into it, picture it as the nature of the synthetic world, and the synthetic world can get the best of the natural world. u dont need to chant anything or any big rituals, but if u know who it is, then drop a piece of garbage near them, or smoke a ciggarette near them, comtaminate their magic so it cannot effect yours. if u do not know who it is, just the same thing but only in a natural place, like drop a empty pepsi 2 liter in a forest glade while thinking about the natural source of the magic that bound and cursed you. it also defiles the magic of the one who originally tried to bind you and makes their own nature magic much more difficult for them to use.

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Thanks "beary" much everyone. I find people's personal and real things fascinating.

>>18424572
Ahahah holy shit that's evil

Money magick/mojo magick, sigil crafts, sex magick, pendulums..

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BUMP! Gib spells! My power level is getting high!

>>18424593
what if they pick it up and put it in the trash?

>>18427716
successful defend, your dick explodes and you get what's called a "painocchio" that is when a tree branch painfully grows in place of your genitals

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>>18424529

One of the best sorts of magic.

For finding stubborn misplaced items:

You need something you can make a knot with: a scarf, a piece of rope; in a pinch even a cable, plastic bag or sock.

Tie the item into a knot while you recite the following:

Cucuphate the Saint, Cucuphate the Saint
I'm tying the balls off your taint
Until you give me the [misplaced item]
They will be restrained.

Then throw the knot backwards over your shoulder and don't check where it landed. Keep looking for the misplaced item, only search for the knot and untie it when you actually found what you were originally looking for.

With enough practice, just saying something like "Hey Saint Cucuphate, be a nice chum and help me find [misplaced item] so I don't have to tie your balls off you know" will speed up any similar search.

There are probably many variations on this (AFAIK tying the Devil's balls instead of Saint Cucuphate's, or knot only, or incantation only) and the incantation I wrote here is a rough translation from spanish, which is the original version I know.

Fewken' storefronts.

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>>18427900
This is really cool, super practical and I can tell right away it would work. Also one of the most OG spanish things I've ever seen lol

>>18427919

wew thanks

OG? What do you mean by that?

I've been doing and perfecting it for years, literally since I was a child:

-My mom did the incantation only, and so did I.
-Several years later I heard the knot thing and "tying the Devil's balls" from a friend's mom and incorporated it.
-Then I thought since the guy helped me tons of times, Saint Cucuphate's balls could be saved some stress, and started doing the "lesser invocation" (lol) when it wasn't as dire. But for this to make sense you need to do the "greater invocation" (double lol) sometimes too... or you have nothing to back the lesser with.
-Some years later I learned that my mother-in-law did the knot-only and also called it tying the Devil's balls.

I never personally liked the devil version because I usually follow a principle of "only pester the lowest entity that you know can do the job" and have an aversion towards pantheon bosses.

If you want to know the original spanish incantation, it's as follows:

San Cucufato, San Cucufato
Los huevos te ato
Hasta que no me des [lo que busco]
No te los desato.

I changed it a bit to preserve the rhyme, but the meaning of each line is still basically the same.

Ah, fun fact for triple lol: My mom isn't a witchy or religious person BY ANY STRETCH OF THE WORDS, and still she DID it.

>>18427984
OG = original gangster. It is a compliment.
>Saint Cucuphate's balls could be saved some stress
lmao. Become a Saint and this is what you get???
This is exactly the kind of deep lore I was looking for. Never expected it to involve balls. How much damage has your family done to this man's balls...

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Reposting this from an old bread. I was too scared to try it, any takers? I'm worried that butt stuff might happen to me if I do it

>>18427994

Well thanks again.

If everything goes well the guy shouldn't have the balls tied off for more than a few minutes at a time :)

>Become a Saint and this is what you get???

Well, bodily mortification is kinda in-flavor for saints.

>Never expected it to involve balls.

I think that's one of the best points, how it's gross and irreverent to a point.

>my family
Lol at least three families that I know of: my mom's, my friend's, and my girlfriend's.

The type of magick you're referring to is called hoodoo. (Different to voodoo). If you're looking for other easy magick try searching Hedge Witch (old style nature magick for the solo practitioner, or try reading some of the books produced by the Gallery of Magick (ceremonial magick but with all the ceremonial cut out, so pretty much talismans and incantations).

Hope that helps, also sauce of hoodoo and hedge witch info: friend who is high priest of a coven.

>>18428003
>>my family
>Lol at least three families that I know of: my mom's, my friend's, and my girlfriend's.

Actually not, I was contradicting myself here, the other two families used the Devil's Balls variant

>>18428018
That's all fine and dandy, except you're going to find tons of stuff that haven't ever been codified by any extant group.

>>18427984
it's santo pilato you retard

also in english just say saint anthony saint anthony saint anthony and ask to have your stuf found and he'll find it for you :3

works everytime

>>18428018
>The type of magick you're referring to is called hoodoo.

Actually the type of magic anon is referring to is called "folk magic" hoodoo being a specific version of same. Hedge Witchery is related but not quite the same, kitchen witchery is probably closer to the type of household, folk magic anon is asking for. It gets a bad reputation because the entry barrier is so low, but kitchen witchery can develop into some serious shit.

Protip: don't ask the high priest of a witches coven about hoodoo, they are very different practices and hoodoo is not just a generic term for all folk magic.

sauce of info: practicing rootworker

>>18428788
I'm OP, I came to re-animate my thread. From the grave. I need MOAR MAGIC, you see. To raise my great goat army.

How deep does kitchen witchery go? What is the most hardcore thing you can do in the kitchen?

>>18431359
>most hardcore thing you can do in the kitchen?

Since a lot of kitchen witch magic is meant to be eaten, I guess, murder someone with poison. I dont really think that's what you meant though I'm not sure what you mean by 'hardcore'.

The thing is since cooking and kitchen stuff is such an everyday occurrence people dont think about the ways you can incorporate magic into the process, with sigils, using kitchen tools as magical tools, even incorporating the arrangement of the food or place settings magically.

The point to this is that the process of cookiing prepping serving and eating food is already highly ritualized, it's just waiting for specific intents and magic to be overlayed onto the process.

It's common in the afro-carribean traditions to cook offerings for the spirits, and common to eat with them too.

Honestly, kitchen witchery is limited by your imagination, anything from simple charms to potentially lethal hexes or poisons and full blown invocation and spirit work are all on the table, pardon the pun.

>>18428765

Your version should be considered the "best" one because of...?

And exactly in virtue of what are you an authority about stuff that actually happened in my corner of the world?

Go fuck yourself.

Another one to find missing stuff: put scissors with the blade wide open on the bed. Then forget about it. The thing you're looking for will appear soon enough, an maybe more stuff you had totally forget about you were looking before. I've tried it and oddly enough, it works.

It's interesting you guys are posting all this stuff, because I did lose something recently.

>>18431651
I like your explanation. Maybe I will try to make Fighting Foodons in real life.

Dig up some dirt and spray some salt and pepper over it

Chant out
Ego sum ingens excors
Five times

You will make contact with a spirit of the earth, it being friendly or want to kill you will be by chance, proceed with caution

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>>18433719
I should do this.

>>18433739
I did it. Then I decided to put the latin through a translator. You have betrayed me for the last time, anon