/x/ Re-Writes Famous Creepypasta (Using Find/Replace)

>>18399397
gunther

>>18399397
Stabby

>>18399418
Gunther it is. Now as for the second part of the title, what are we changing the word "Killer" to?

>>18399424
Butt Pirate

>>18399424
Memeister

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>>18399439
I like where this story is going already.

Next off, this story uses the word "said" 36 times. Certainly, we have a better word to replace that?

>>18399443
Almost trips. Better luck next time man.

>>18399446
fucked

>>18399446
Moaned seductively

>>18399463
Well, sometimes simple vulgarity can have the greatest effect. Although, I would have preferred >>18399468

Anyways what about Gunther's brother? Liu is a dumb name, let's change it.

schulweg

>>18399479
I'm assuming this was in response to the last last change, so I'm gonna go ahead and roll with it. Gunther and his bro Schulweg.

Now, instead of his "mother", who does Gunther move into the neighborhood with?

>>18399446
jeff

>>18399488
Jack Sparrow

>>18399488
bully from down the road

>>18399500
First instance of dubs! Sorry Captain Jack, but you're sitting this one out.

Anyways, Gunther's ugly-ass monster "face" is mentioned a bunch of times too. What's going to get fucked up in our version of the story?

>>18399511
sweet sweet ass flaps

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>>18399513
Oh goodie, this story is shaping nice. Anyways what about that faggot "Randy" who assaults a birthday party full of 5-year olds. What's his new name?

>>18399522
Shrek

>>18399524
Our eternal ogrelord himself, eh?

Anyways, going back to the subject of over-used verbs. The word "looked" shows up very frequently, maybe something else could make the story a bit more vibrant?

>>18399532
Smashed

>>18399532
licked

>>18399534
Alright, how about the verb "walked"? It also shows up with alarming frequency.

>>18399539
Shuffled

>>18399539
percolate

>>18399543
This will work. Anyways now we get another interesting one. The word "knife". Gunther is a much better killer than Jeff, thus he needs a new weapon. What will it be?

>>18399549
frozen bottle of cum ( obviously a homage)

>>18399557
Alright then, got another name to replace here "Troy". Let's pick a new one for him.

>>18399564
chunk

>>18399568
We Goonies now?

Anyways how about the word "kid"? It shows up nearly 30 times. What are Gunther and his buddies, because they certainly aren't "kids".

>>18399571
Niggers

>>18399571
muslims

>>18399571
Spoopy scary skelingtons

>>18399577
Fuck ! He got dubs !

>>18399580
thats going to at least triple the stories length alone

>>18399577
Alright then. Skurletons it is. Anyways, don't worry, still plenty of chances to add something offensive to this story.

In the original story there's constant talk Jeff getting some weird "feeling". What does Gunther get?

>>18399589
Boners

>>18399589
Pins and needles

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>>18399590
Knew it was coming to this. Still laughed.

Like any other Mary Sue, a huge emphasis is put on "eyes" in the story. What does our story focus on?

>>18399589
sonder

>>18399595
Bulges

>>18399595
nipples

>>18399599
There we go. That'll do just fine.

Were doing another name replacement, for "Keith" this time. Suggestions?

>>18399602
M00t

>>18399602
queef, simple yet elegant

>>18399604
This

>>18399602
Yog sothoth

>>18399604
>>18399608
>>18399612
Sorry guys, M00t was suggested first.

Anyways, we've pretty much got names out of the way. So now we'll be focusing on recurring words. The first one being "pulled".

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>>18399602
Kek

>>18399615
slumped

>>18399615
Stroked

>>18399615
Fisted

Swoos-ed

>>18399615
Fondled

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>>18399622

>>18399622
Yes, this will be interesting. Props to the anon who posted swoos-ed though.

The next word is "ground". As in the place things fall towards.

>>18399632
Shit stained floor.

>>18399633
Great use of dubs, Kek smiles down upon you.

The next word is "fell". Suggestions?

>>18399636
leg fuckup to shit stained floor

>>18399636
1080 kickflipped

>>18399636
did a flip

Dam, this is some good stuff
>>18399642
>>18399639

>>18399639
Probably gonna go with this one, since >>18399637 doesn't make a whole lot of sense gramtically. Sorry.

Next word to be replace is "parent". Who's in charge of Gunther?

>>18399651
Our Lord and Saviour Kek

>>18399651
Dr D.R. Doctor

>>18399655
Fuck that's good. also checked

>>18399654
>>18399655
Outmemed! Next word is "thing". As in the infamous "thing" of bleach that falls of Jeff.

>>18399661
Classic "Shit"

>>18399665
Very good, we're nearing completion here.

Next we're changing the word "room".

>>18399671
Fap space

>>18399672
Next word is going to be "ran". Anyone got something for that?

Awaiting completion with bated breath.

>>18399680
moonwalked

>>18399680
skidded

>>18399680
shat

>>18399680
projected himself forward with spraying streams of feces

>>18399683
>Gunther the Butt Pirate is not my lover, he's just a boy who say's that I am the one.
>But the spoopy scary skelington is not my son.

Next word is "bus".

>>18399705
highway to hell

>>18399715
Alright, moving on the next word is "bed".

>>18399726
stasis pod

>>18399727
Followed by the word "door". Almost there, you can do this /x/!

>>18399734
portal

>>18399734
hatch of a soviet t-34 tanl

>>18399740
*tank, nevermind. portal is better

>>18399737
The next word is "stairs". Just a few more to go!

>>18399749
Stairway to heaven

>>18399749
My greatest weakness

>>18399749
Disabled preventors

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>>18399752
The next word is "family". Only two more after this!

>>18399762
unchosen friends (sometimes with benefits)

>>18399775
Good, good! The next word to be replaced is "Police". One more and we're good to go!

>>18399779
Coloured deterrent

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>>18399783
And lastly, the final word is "brother". Let's finish this son of a bitch!!!

>>18399790
Mommy's favorite

>>18399790
Meatbag

>>18399790
The Artist Formly Known As Brother

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Don't keep us waiting OP!

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>>18399794
Alrighty then, this one looks to be our final replacement.

And it looks like we are done here! Here's what I've compiled over this thread, hopefully it was worth it anons.

Enjoy!

http://pastebin.com/W5SRp8Hd
http://pastebin.com/W5SRp8Hd

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>>18399806
>OMINOUS UNKNOWN BUTT PIRATE IS STILL AT LARGE.

Top stuff everyone

>>18399813
>That’s when I had a strange boner, like someone was watching me. I smashed up, and nearly jumped out of my stasis pod. There, in the little ray of light, illuminating from between my curtains, were a pair of two nipples. These weren’t regular nipples; they were dark, ominous nipples. They were bordered in black and… just plain out terrified me. That’s when I saw his mouth. A long, horrendous smile that made every hair on my body stand up. The figure stood there, watching me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he fucked it. A simple phrase, but fucked in a way only a mad man could speak.

So what do you guys think? I could do another one of these tomorrow if you want. Any suggestions for what story to do?

>>18399816

Ok, that's actually better than I thought it would be.

The fact that Jeff the Killer is such a stupid fucking creepypasta probably helps. If you do this again OP, please do it with creepypastas that have a fair amount of hate and not one that everyone generally considers pretty good.

>>18399876
Squidward's suicide

>>18399876
Russian sleep experiment, that one gives me the heeby-fuckin-jeebies and I'd love to see it get taken down a peg

>>18399976

I'll back up Russian Sleep Experiment, but not because it's creepy - more like because it's really fucking overwrought, try-hard shit. The stupid speech the person gives at the end just ruins the whole thing and makes it cringey.

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>he once again got that boner. This time it was stronger. It gave him a slight tugging pain

This is genius !

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>He dismissed it as just some random boner

>As they moonwalked, they smashed back and saw the highway to hell driver rushing over to Shrek and the others

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Schulweg and Gunther’s dad stare awe-struck at his sweet sweet ass flaps

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>>18399976
>>18399988
Alrighty then, tomorrow I'll start a new thread for a "Russian Sleep Experiment" re-write. Glad to see that people enjoyed this.

>I will never forget that sweet sweet ass flaps. Those cold, evil nipples, and that psychotic smile. They will never leave my head

my sides can't take it anymore

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This is fucking glorious, and I will do a narration of this. Mark my words.

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>>18399806
ominous nipples

>Billy fucked hi and moonwalked back to play in his yard.

Billy is officially the coolest kid in history.

This should be a weekly thing we do.
Or even daily with the amount of shitty pastas being written.