We need your druid magic to make America great again

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While Donald Trump may come a close second, Richard Nixon will definitely stand as our greatest president ever. Without using meme-logic or shitpost logic, I will list reasons on why I've concluded that Richard Nixon was the greatest president that the United States has ever had in all of its history:

>Opened US relations with China
>Promoted capitalism
>he persecuted minorities
>he was a republican authoritarian
>he was white
>he has the image, he's beautiful
>he helped fight communism
>the war in Vietnam was great for the US because it provoked citizens to constructively criticize the government
>the war on drugs actually protected drug users in a sly way. It's just a codename for the Final Solution part 2: American Edition
>and about minorities: they are statistically more likely to cause crimes anyways
>"YOU CAN'T REPRESENT PEOPLE WITH NUMBERS IN ORDER TO GENERALIZE AND OPPRESS AN ETHNIC GROUP!!!!". Actually, yes. Shut the fuck up, you're a retard if you think you can't.
>"What about Watergate?". That was fake gossip created by the Democrats in an effort to distract us from George Soros and Hillary Clinton's slow rise to power.

In conclusion, Richard Nixon was actualy a great man.

Now, why do I bring this up on this seemingly unrelated board? Because, America needs your help, your expertise.

What if I told you, that Richard Nixon can still serve for four more years, even though he's dead?

"How is this possible?", you may ask. It's quite simple really.

If we bump this thread high enough on this specific board, the chances of a druid coming across this post will be much higher than on other boards. Whoever this unnamed druid may turn out to be, he/she/it may be able to help us with fulfilling America's dream.

That dream, my friends, is reanimating Richard Nixon's corpse to make America great again.

Of course, we wouldn't need to follow through with the plan...unless of course...the Bernie Man appears...and Donald Trump feels the Bern.

So, who's in?