WICCA

You don't need to use extra version olive oil to do the monthly testicle massage, some books would have you believe this but it's simply not true. Regular olive oil, or any natural cooking oil at all works.

That's it's just a conglomerated, bastardized and incestual mix of pagan, animism, Christian, various native American religions and a nice sprinkling of pseudo-science that was invented by hippies, for hippies in the '60's.

It's like calling yourself a Hindi Islamist that prays to Jesus while wearing Tibetan prayer beads made for the Aztec god Quetsalcoaty (can people even spell that right right off the top of their heads?).

Clove cigs, an insufferable need to tell people you're wiccan, access to the woods where you can do whatever you want, the animals will judge you but you're probably used to that. A completely black wardrobe because edge, a handgun to shoot yourself with when you finally realize how fucking lame you are and the crushing shame is just too much for you to endure

If you are a gril don't shave your armpits or your legs, because that gives you status in the community and it also keeps self respecting men away guaranteeing that you get a nice weak man at your side.

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>>18274003
The beginner should ditch wicca and move straight to Thelema.

>>18274046
Good summary, but you're forgetting the elements it cribbed from Far Eastern mysticism, and Theosophy. Which itself had mostly been stolen from Eastern traditions a generation or so before.

Really, Wicca is a Xerox of a carbon copy of a Mad Lib of random shit 19th century British people thought would give them super powers. It's about as grounded in tradition as worship of the pantheon from Dungeons and Dragons.

Fuck, you might as well venerate Boccob or Pelor, at least then the fake bullshit spells you pretend to learn would have catchier names.

>>18274003
All faiths are made up bullshit anyway. Just make something up. But for the fucking love of shit don't tell anyone about it.

>>18274003
wicca is bullshit man it isn't even that old as they say it is all lies, find something else

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>>18274003
Just be a witch like us cool kids. You can worship whatever you want if you really want to, no need to get into the whole new agey wicca stuff.

>>18274003
No. Stop. These hippy threads are destroying /x/

>>18274687
>destroying /x/
Don't be silly anon.

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>>18274003
It's shit.

Go with Asatru or Ceremonial Magick. Wicca tries to be a faggy, SJW version of those two and it fails at being anything more than faggy Bullshit.

Go with something pure.

Twenty years ago when we invented it, it was a cool way to meet girls to play female characters in AD&D.

Some may say it won't get you any pussy but all that "white light" type stuff really gets some of them wet. Just hope you don't mind them being a little chubby.

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>>18274003
Communion with familiar spirits is a damnable offence

If you have a penis, stop right there and find your own way. If you don't, get out.

>>18275475
>Just hope you don't mind them being a little chubby.

and
>Hairy legs
>Hairy armpits
>Lots of issues that are everyones fault

>>18274003
Just go to a used book store and buy all the now cheap swill on Wicca.

>>18275709
>and miss out on all the chubby SJW sex

My wiccan ex was thin and sexy.... Well. Her body at least, kinda a butterface.... She had the best tasting vajeen though. But she was crazy, so. The sex is the only worthwhile thing about wiccan girls.

It's basically ceremonial magic watered down and with a nature twist. Pretty much Hermetics for feminists and potheads. Has a few quick effective workings but will only get results if you are personally powerful. If you want the quick kick spells and have a pair look into voodoo or folk magic.

>>18276282
I just realized that Wicca is pretty much the Tae Kwon Do of the occult.