How does one go about becoming a vampire?

>>18197503
Open your ass and your heart will follow.

>>18197512
Good advice, I'll try this.

>>18197503
It's not really that hard once you realize vampires don't drink blood

Get bitten by one. Duh

>>18197576
Well how would I find a vampire? I doubt it's as easy as putting up an ad somewhere. I doubt any of them would even be willing to reveal anything to some stranger about their affliction.

>>18197794
If you search for them long enough, one will eventually find you and drink your blood

>>18197533
Elaborate please?

Hang out behind the bleachers and drink clamato juice

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Contract the disease "Sanguinare Vampiris".

You don't because they don't exist

>>18197503
Go shop at hot topic

>>18197910
Thank goodness for immortality through video games!!!11 ;D

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>>18197835
+1'd

>>18197533
It's not really that hard once you realize vampires aren't real

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>>18197503
Well for one I can just say that I sat at an empty area in the middle of the night reading something about 'Cain' and vampires... some minutes into that I heard a sound, look to my right and see a person in black standing a few metres just staring at me. Needless to say I was spooked as hell and left.

It wasn't a shadow, it was a real person. Now surely that could (or probably was) a real human and nothing paranormal, but that never happened to me and that place is usually very empty. Also, I was sitting in a dark place at night so the person must have had EXTREMELY good eye sight to spot me.

Anyway the point of what I'm even saying is you might attract them if you read about it, think a lot about it, you could even try to PRAY for it while you're outside.

>>18197995
Have you never played the Elder Scrolls series?

>>18198009
not funny

>>18198007
That was slenderman and not a vampire.

>>18198055
No, the person I saw had normal height.

Get a time travel machine, go back to the 19th century, catch tuberculosis. There, you are a vampire.

>>18198026
wasn't a joke

>>18198090
This. Was a contract with the Gr(ae)ys. Thanks to J-t-G for enforcing it.

>>18198108
Yes the gr(ae)ys are a deadly serious subject

>>18197794
apparently they all hang out on vampire/teenager message boards.

>>18198086
kek

>>18198090
its a GAME

>>18198108
>>18198117
what are these
someone please tell me

>>18198316
g(a)ys

>>18198007
>reading something about 'Cain' and vampires
>I was sitting in a dark place at night so the person must have had EXTREMELY good eye sight to spot me.
If it was bright enough for you to read 2edge lit, it was bright enough for somebody to spot you

>>18198325
A general rule of thumb is "if there's enough light for you to see someone, there's enough light for them to see you as well." You might not be able to make out features, but the same amount of light entering your eye is entering theirs.

>>18198325
No, it wasn't bright where I was. I was sitting in the dark but there are some lights surrounding the area. You can even read things just from moon light.

Like I said, it was VERY likely just a normal person. It's still unsettling if you're alone at night in some empty place and some person appears just staring at you without saying a word.

>>18198338
I just looked up the word I used 'a few' and what it means, apparently means only three. But the person was further away than that, I'd say six metres? I'm bad with distance.

I don't know, it wasn't close enough for me to tell the gender AND the person was standing next to a light source. Just trust me that I'm not completely retarded and from being in that situation myself can tell you it would have been hard for the person to spot me, considering where I was sitting, what I was wearing.

>>18198007
A nigger asked you for money and you ran away. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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>>18198420

>>18198420
Or worse. The fabled night-jew

the mask

>>18198447
dio?

>>18198325
Git ur skinhead ponytail lesbo ass out if here

>>18198481
???

>>18198481
>>18198007

My bad wrong person

>>18198496
There is no skinhead ponytail lesbo ass in any of this. You're retarded.

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>ur retarded
>but srsly how do i become a vampire

>>18198505
i can change that im a man and identify as a lesbian

>>18197503
Kegel exercises. Lots of kegel exercises and ass play.

>>18197910
I thought it was Porphyric Hemophilia, or was it Noxiphilic Sanguivoria?
Gah! Too many labels for just one end result!

>>18198671
what about lesbo vamps

>>18198671
They can do kegel exercises too! :D
It's all about the ass so whether you have a penis or vagina is not relevant to it.
So there's no excuse, you too can work that pelvic floor to a perfect shine.
Vampires all work on their kegels every day, it's just a natural part of maintaining their sphincter health and well-being.
Otherwise, they are prone to incontinence which makes for awkward moments.
Mostly having a young newly turned vampire trying to be scary, threatening to bite someone, and end up pissing themselves accidentally from excitement.
Vampires are prone to this due to their high blood diet, and their tendency to gorge themselves which causes their body to eliminate old blood through the process of urination.

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>>18198733

>>18198007
Thanks for the advice. I'll look for the most secluded place I can find and hang out there for a few nights.

>>18198430
Hopefully over my next few secluded nights I don't run into something as terrifying as that. I want to be a vampire. Not a tax agent or big nosed comedian.

>>18199129
You should also pray or meditate (whatever suits you) with the intent to attract vampires or have vampires sent your way.

But - I do believe that vampires can mess with your mind and memories. So following this belief it's possible that you already met them and just... forget. Try to keep track of what you are doing maybe? Tell a friend before you go or something.

>>18199152
I'm definitely going to let someone know. From what I've read so far, I feel like a mixture of both meditation and prayer would be fitting. Hopefully I'm able to meet a vampire willing to turn me without, well...killing me, and thanks again.

>>18199173
Do you even know what it means to be a vampire though? What if it turns you into a murderous, empty creature that will stay trapped in hell forever after it dies?

>>18199188
I'm banking on the fact that I won't become something like that. The reward of immortality outweighs the risks, imo. As long as there's blood I'd be able to continue going forever.