ITT: Things in creepypasta and greentexts that irk you Here's

>be me

This has got to be a meme, right?

How stupid would people have to be to type that, assuming the reader couldnt figure that out?

That really fucking irks me greentexts.

>>18168768
Yeah it's a meme.
If you point it out, you're guaranteed a string of (You)s jeering at you

>>18168773
Yeah, never pointed it out, but Im glad I assumed correctly.

>>18168768
Its been a meme for like 10 years you colossal faggot

>>18168762
>pitch black eyes
>gutteral
>grinning in any regards
>hairless humanoid
>thought transferance/mind to mind communication
>fucking skinwalkers

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>>18168762
>get this overwhelming smell of sulfer/metalic/rotten meat
stop reading right there. It always leads to generic skinwalker story #1001
>Ii saw something spooky
>but I couldnt get a good look at it
>i..it looked humanoid...but just wrong
>it mimicked my/my friends/my dads voice
>I ran away and never went back, I swear you guys
every time

People who bitch and don't contribute. Fucking niggers, all of you.

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>>18168801

>>18168762

I don't read greentexts. I only read stuff written proper English, good grammar, punctuation, and story structure.
I close the threads.

I will be the first to admit that my written English is not up to scratch, but I can't read most of that greentext rubbish. Most of it reads like it was written by an early teen from a developed country, who has just learned point form.

>>18168762
>creepypasta jumps between 1st and 3rd person like it's not even hiding the fact that its creative writing
I know I'm not supposed to assume any of these stories are real, but when you treat it like a short story but claim over and over that it's super legit it really eats at me.

oh and also
>cliffhanger ending despite the narrator recalling the story from direct experience
come the fuck on

>>18168814
>cliffhanger ending
>"should i continue???"
gets me every fucking time. bonus points for
>continues immediately, regardless if the OP gets any replies

>>18168762
op here. Regrettably forgot to mention, in extension to "I swear this is 100% true," "I don't care if you believe me" also annoys me.
Idk, mentioning how true the story is or that you "know no one will believe me but don't care" makes the story seem fake.
It's like seeing your friend is wearing new Nikes and before you even comment on them he goes, "I swear these are 100% real. I don't care if you believe me"

>>18168788
Don't forget "hyper-realistic"

>>18168762
>be me
>doing mundane thing
>suddenly hear/smell generic spooky sound/smell
>I WAS SO SCARED U GUISE!
>See Flavor of the Month SPOOKY THING
>Does SPOOKY THING that it's known for/STARES RIGHT AT ME
>Disappears and leaves me unmurdered
>This really happened, u guise!

>go outside the next day
>see footprints by my window/door

>>18168768
>faggot

>be me
>faggot

Now you see the difference

>faggot

>>18168903
>I found note that say "im little gril goast, I was murder in fire when was 6, im kill u!"

>>18168768
Writing this is a tradition now.

Anything about haunted videogames or lost episodes. Full-on next-level retardation.

That fake ass "I'm going to pretend I can't remember even though I do know" shit pisses me off too OP. People even do it in real life.
Its easy to tell when someone sincerely can't remember something or they are doing for no good fucking reason.

>be me
>.jpg.tiff.avi.exe
>*action*

Nothing makes me hide a thread quicker than adding all three of those into your story format.

>>18168936
what did he mean by this?

The whole
>go somewhere!
>30 lines of set up!
>hear noise!
>investigate!
>see/hear/feel something vaguely spooky!
>run off!
>the end!

this whole shit is so bad

I'm talking stories like:
>ok so me and my friend I've known him since 10 and we moved to a new place it was pretty cool there was a mall and I liked it I went there to be an engineer and my friend was a marine ok so we called some other friends and went to abandoned station and that station had a fire and 1000 people died there so we went there for a party and we had lots of fun we were listening to bjork and smoking weed and it was dark but there was a moon but then there was no moon anyway I heard a sound and then kept drinking and then went to pee and I saw a spooky face and came back to the other guys and then we went home

>>18168988
The abbreviated stories are far more desirable to your wall of text. If you are gonna make a wall of text, insert line breaks and don't use a quote arrow.

>man door hand hook car door

>>18168887
HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD STARTED POURING OUT OF SONIC

›Im writting this as someone/something is searching for me. Please read this 9 pages walltext i couldnt have possibly written in a few minutes instead of calling the police. And excuse my poor grammar im in a hurry

I swear that shit annoys me a lot

writing walls of greentext is the worst, because greentext necessarily lends itself to brevity

>>18168963
those are exactly my pet peeves as well.
Also any addition of memes or 4chan lingo in general.

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>>18168801
/thread

>>18168768

Lurk more, newfag

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>greentexts that irk you

ALL greentext stories suck ass.

Greentext is done to help the post-literate era Millennials process /x/, their atrophied brains can not process more than five words in a row. Paragraphs to them are undecipherable 'walls of text'. Greentext breaks info into 'byte'-sized chunks to help the spoon-feeding of data to Millennials. Also millennials are all jobless & broke and can only access the Internet through cellphones their mom gave them for Christmas, so they can only see tiny parts of a webpage at a time. Greentext again makes things small enough for Millennials to have a chance of understanding what's going on.

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>author managed to write a plot hole in his 200word creepypasta

>>18169082
Reminder that a "millennial" could be born as early as the early-mid 1980s.

I'd wager you weren't saying that when greentext was the cool thing to do 10 years ago before the mainstream internet caught up to imageboad culture. Get over yourself you elitist tool.

>>18169121
pretty sure he was talking about the stereotypical ones, rather than refering to a birth year.

>>18168762
>meme arrows

>>18168762
the ones where OP writes 3 or 4 post of text full up to character limit, leaving an hour or two between each post and then does a piss weak ending so you're still waiting for the next post not realising they have finished

Any kind of "creepy smile" or grinning. It just comes off as stupid these days. The planets have to fucking align for that kind of thing to actually be unsettling.

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>Lost episode/media about a children's program
>Include gratuitous horror such as screaming and/or shocking images or mentions of real life consequences after watching it (often mentioning that's why they're lost, hurrr)

Candle Cove could have really neat if it was JUST an urban legend about a seemingly forgotten but otherwise normal program. That's why the unlicensed spongebob documentary is kind of interesting.

>>18169297
Candle Cove still creeps me out.

>when they explain things you know are factually wrong ie wrong ammo in guns, vehicle make and models that dont exist etc
>blood for the sake of it with no context or reason for it
>characters doing stupid shit like ditching their car and walking into the woods just because they got a flat tire when they could have just limped it to a garage 5 miles down the road and replaced the tire/rim
>"it was/i sensed pure evil"

>guy witnesses inexplicably and undeniably supernatural incident
>goes for a walk to 'take his mind off it'
>forgets it even happened by the end of the day

"it sent shivers down my spine"

"something was just off"

"this was the scariest shit I saw in my life"

NO

"lost" episodes, haunted videogames, youtube videos that make people gouge their own eyes out and mail them to youtube headquarters, "hyper-realistic"...
all of these reek of "DAE LE 90S KID??" and are an immediate indicator of subpar quality.

When they encounter a supernatural creature/ entity but can't describe its appearance.
>it was like an animal but wrong somehow

In other words you're not creative enough to imagine a description for your bullshit story

>>18169564
Jesus Christ this.

You have the internet now kids. There is no excuse NOT to utilize it to the full potential as you would a dictionary or thesaurus.

For people who still need to be hand held on being able to write stuff, here is a good start.
http://arkhamarchivist.com/wordcount-lovecraft-favorite-words/

Adjectives are your friend when trying to be spoopy kidds

My pet peeve would probably be authors going back and trying to retcon things to pretend it's real
>Well why can't i find an article about it? That would have made the news
>Uhh oh yeah did i forget to mention that the local newspaper was super corrupt at the time and so because the friend who got spooped to death was mexican and the editor was racist it never got reported on

We know it's all fake, no point trying to go back and change things for the sake of realism 2bh


>>18168951
>People even do it in real life.
Yeah i honestly don't get how people don't realise how shit at acting they are. In my group of friends there is a guy who pretends to be tired (i guess to get out of doing stuff) and even fake yawns and shit. It's so blatantly fake, and nobody is going to question it if you're just like "sorry gonna head home, in tired". why bother?

>>18169082
What did you expect? It's 4chan, lowest common denominator flock here. Anyone with an attentionspan will only pay this place brief visits because they can actually attend places with a higher lix.

>>18170040
Not sure how to respond to you but when I think lowest common denominator people, I guarantee they don't know what the hell 4chan is or any chan for that matter. It's a certain type of person that frequents here I'll give you that, but the average person doesn't even know this place exists. Facebook is what I think of when you're talking lcd

>>18169141
OK I've done that.
But it wasn't MY FAULT.
They closed the thread before I got back to finish.
sorryaboutthat.jpg

>>18169082
how old are you

>>18169082
Woah woah m8, slow down. You might cut yourself on that edge.

In the meantime, why dontcha write a good non-greentext story for us?

> I / My family have always had history/problems with ghosts / the supernatural
Translation: I / my family have always been too stupid to apply Occam's Razor and come up with a simple, logical theory anytime something out-of-the-absolutely-ordinary happens.
I've met several people like this throughout my relatively short life. Floor creaks? GOAST! Candle flickers? GOAST! (Must have been Grandma sending me a message) Stacked cups in the cupboard settle, making a noise? GOAST! Spot of colder air? GOAST!

>I heard a voice inside my head...
>Anything involving "demons" or blatant Christian symbology
>Anything making a sudden shift from subtle to blatant supernatural themes
>Any references to horror movies
>Any time the 'protagonist' becomes brave in the face of adversity and must battle the supernatural entity on its own terms
>Any time the protagonist legitimately believes/practices in some or mulitple forms of supernatural shit like astral projection or clairvoyance or something
>Ending with any variation of "...And now it's out there, coming for YOU!"

Things I like:
>Describing something as "normal, but weird / not right, can't explain, something about x or y part"
I actually like this. It uses classic horror techniques of not over-explaining something. By making the reader use their own imagination, it gives a more personal touch for each reader and maintains mystery. Also, from the character's perspective, you normally don't examine all the details of something when it surprises you and scares you away. Of course, you at least have to explain it in some vague terms. "It was weird/scary" doesn't even give the reader anywhere to start imagining.
>Monsters that are essentially an Apex predator of humans, deceiving and tricking us into our deaths, both mentally and physically more powerful than us, superior by nature, and expressly interested in hunting us
I like this because while it's almost cliché and OP, it's believable. There's examples in nature all the time.

>>18169121
>I'd wager you weren't saying that when greentext was the cool thing to do 10 years ago
I second this post.

>>>>18169297
18168762
>>18168762

>>18169082
Have you ever heard of naive realism?

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>>18168788
>>18168762
most of these things can be done well, they just aren't usually

>>18168814
>creepypasta jumps between 1st and 3rd person
It's better the sloppier the story writing is, because if it is a true account most people aren't gifted storytellers and it shouldn't read like a refined narrative...

>>18168878
>I don't care if you believe me
This one is actually genius if you think about it

>>18168793
>get this overwhelming smell of sulfer/metalic/rotten meat
This one I actually love it's a feature of "real" Bigfoot reports as well

>>18168768
It's a genre convention and a good one

>>18169564
Nah vivid descriptions take away from the impact and is also unrealistic. Would a very frightened person really take the time to note and remember all the details of an unfamiliar creature? No.

>>18169036
>>18168949
>>18169162
>>18169297
>>18169484
>>18169518
these are legitimately inexcusable

>>18170062
4chan isnt some complete mystery dood... i know very few people who dont know what 4chan is

>>18168768
Fuck off normal newfag reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>18169010

>underrated post, thanks for flashback

>>18168786
>10 years
It's not that old. I only remember seeing it since about 2013ish, and I use it to sniff out newfags. Unless I seriously wasn't paying attention pre-2013, I'd say it's a relatively new thing brought upon by cancer.

>>18170853

Be me has been a staple of /b/ greentext storytelling since like 2007, wtf are you talking about?

>>18170868
Maybe it only began leaking out to other boards in the past few years or something. I rarely ever used /b/ even back when I began using this site in '08.

>>18170872
Fair enough.

>>18169141
That's just realism. life never has a satisfying payout, so including anything more than a dissatisfying conclusion should be seen as poor Audience-relation and jeered as bad writing.

>>18170366
>anti-romanticist
>likes stupid Monster movie cliché
GTFO you bland, inept, close-minded barbarian

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>>18169115

>>18168762
>monsters and supernatural are real
*rolling eyes* ugh

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>Ending of NES Godzilla pasta

JUST

>>18169082
its funny how you're talking about how stupid and lazy other people are and using a pasta while you do it. come up with your own ideas.

>>18170848
I mean fuck him, yeah, but this comment reeks of newfaggin'

>>18168887
Fucking this

>>18168762
>I don't believe in the supernatural BUT
followed by some stupid obviously supernatural claim like
>My dead grandmother talks to me every night

Any reference to being being drunk or high.

>be me
>smoke a weed
>get scared
>nothing happened!

Wow you got high and in your altered state you felt a feeling. Great read.

>>18171461
fucking this
>ingest a psychoactive substance
>WOW HOLY SHIT MY PERCEPTION IS DIFFERENT WHAT ON EARTH CAUSED THIS DEFINITELY PARANORMAL

>i took pictures/screencapped it/saved x object
>when I checked later it was mysteriously gone!
like fuck
there was this really good cave story on some bog type thing, it was almost believable even, just spooky cave, but then the author steps it up from unsettling cave vibes to full on spooky ghost demon indian burial ground in zero seconds flat, following it up by "there was this really weird cave painting on the wall but when we got out our cameras were corrupted lmao", then the kicker, the last post is like "ok im going back in, i might not come out to post again. im rly rly scared guise, wish me luck" and then oh my how spooky there's no more posts

>randomly asserting that they have a girlfriend/have lots of sex for no actual reason
>generic "normal, but somehow WRONG" monster descriptions
>demon summoning
>multi post greentexts that aren't even good
>"should I continue?"
>"pic unrelated"
>pic is more spooky/interesting than their post

>>18171538
>randomly asserting that they have a girlfriend/have lots of sex for no actual reason

Its called bragging

>>18168768
Faggot

>>18168809
Judging from your post, you're no better yourself. Faggot.

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>>18168762


>be me
>see thread complaining about creepypasta
>start writing a post about why thats counterproductive
>realize that now I'm just complaining and adding to the problem as well.

Well shit...

>>18169121
i like adam conover, too

his presentation on milennials was decent

>>18168805
is that my main fuckin man Tony abbot, what a solid cunt

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I fucking hate creepypasta that ends with the protagonist's suicide. "I'm so spooked that I'm going to kill myself to escape the spookitude, but before I blow my fuckin' brains out, lemme write a goddamn thesis on this supernatural entity that drove me to self-destruction as my only reprieve."

It's just a variant of the cop-out, cliff-hanger non-ending like others mentioned. The Gristers creepypasta (not to be confused with the Grifter) is a prime example of decent storytelling ruined by a wet fart of "lol cutting my wrists bbl" finale:
http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Gristers

Look, horror stories can be tricky, especially ending them; it's tempting to shoot for that "and you could be next! OooOOooo" vibe, but it's seriously not necessary. It's difficult to write convincingly, and when you fall short, it ruins the whole story. I've seen countless horror movies marred by the need to leave the tale open-ended (shout out to Lights Out for not doing this), so it almost feels like tradition, but seriously, don't do this.

>>18171798
>I fucking hate creepypasta that ends with the protagonist's suicide
that covers like 90% of Lovecraft's stories

>>18171802
It does, but Skinwalker Story #4,229 sure ain't Lovecraft. It's not impossible to do, but pulling it off badly just wrecks everything.

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>"i don't give a fuck if you believe me or not i just need to get things off my chest"
Used to be prevalent in the older creepypastas, don't see it anymore. Still really irritating and makes me lose any compassion for the storyteller.

>>18171861
any remaining compassion*

also
>HYPERREALISTIC BLOOD/EYES/GRAPHICS

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>innawoods

>>18171883
titi ko innawoods

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>>18171037
Tfw the sequel will never be completed

>>18168887
Kek, literally came here to post this. Have a (you), friend.

>>18171461
This one too. Whenever I'm reading a pasta and find anything about people smoking weed/getting high/getting drunk, I instantly stop reading.

>>18171802
Hey, Stephen King has done that too, on occasion. Also, Lovecraft's characters mostly suffer of that "compulsion to write until the moment they die".
I'll never forget the one and only story from him that I found truly silly, about a space exploring guy who gets trapped in an invisible labyrinth and proceeds to almost literally write a journal until he dies because he can't find the way out.

>>18171798
Lights Out was a shitty fucking movie.

>>18171660
were you about to say "hurr do it better then!" ?
Because I'm glad you didnt. Thats the most retarded thing to say

When people are named A, B, friend C...it makes it hard to follow, just pick some random fake name faggots.

>>18171733
I have no idea who that is.

>>18170366
It sounds like you just hate horror period. You have shit taste.

>>18171733
how do you pronounce that last name

koh no ver?

>>18168762
My least favorite
>creepy stalker is always described as short (5'7 or shorter)
>scary burglar or assailant is always 6'5 or taller

It's as if regular height people don't commit crimes or something

other annoying ones are
>I can feel like I'm being watched
>police can't do anything about stalker/person harassing the author
>Sends chills down my spine
>"I swear this is real"

>>18169652
>authors going back and trying to retcon things
that shit pisses me off too

>hanging out with friends
>something spooky happens
>friends shrug it off and continue fucking around like slasher film teens

>>18168887
Not sure if i have ever actually seen this in a real non humor creepypasta

>>18172564
was often used in those "lost episode" or "cursed game" ones

>>18168762
When OP tries to be the next fucking Harlan Ellison
>muh indescriptible horror
>muh I ran and I ran yeezus
>what did it look like? Aint nobody got time fo dat!

>>18171037
That shit kills me.

>>18168951
fugg i do that all the time. so it is easy to notice huh? guess my friends hate me by now

>>18169082
>expecting high attention span on armenian binaural clickbait advertisment forum

If I were posting an actual true story on /x/ I would say
>I swear this is true

>>18169297
i'm dressed for space, can i go? :^)

>>18172651
Why would you even do that?

>>18169082
someone greentext this
I do not understand
I can not understand

>>18172651
i really don't know but i think it is because i have really good memory and don't forget almost anything/anybody, but mostly im really good at remembering persons and their/names/faces and when somebody asks me about a person or event that wasn't significant for me and as a rule i should not remember but i still fucking do, i think i come of as weird person or something for giving significance to someone or something that should matter for me.(even if it doesn't matter for me in reality and i remember it only cos of good memory)

>>18172676
here this was ment for u
>>18172700

>>18172700
ah, ok. that makes sense. In that case people shouldnt be able to notice.

any story that involves alcohol, drugs, or sleep paralysis

fuck off

>Everyone the protag/author knew and loved has been killed by some supernatural thing within the last week/month
>No news reports, no cops, no investigations, no forensics, no murder cases, no courts or trials, no evidence, no witnesses, no family/friend inquiries
>Yep just several people around me dying and leaving absolutely nothing behind and absolutely no evidence as to what really happened, nothing to see here, just ignore it and move on, you too family and friends of the people who died, nothing to see here, better just forget about it

>Blatantly fucked-up and supernatural thing happens nearby, hard to miss, impossible to look away
>But all these people who I was hanging out with at the time didn't see it because they weren't looking and won't even begin to believe me for a second despite knowing and trusting me my whole life

In either event:
>Now I'm the only one who can investigate! better roll up my sleeves and chase this deadly/dangerous supernatural thing I don't even understand!

Once, just once, I'd like to see a creepypasta written from the perspective of someone who is actually disturbed by disturbing things and reacts realistically to danger / the unknown, instead of everyone in these things acting like a fucking horror movie hero. No sane/logical person acts like that, and those that do, end up dead.

>mfw I wrote a spooky story one night
>Friend told it was really good and to post it on creepypasta site
>Do it, get ignored for weeks
>One day see, some mod from the site edit it.
>He just added "written by [his username]"
>The nigger locked the story for edition
>As the OP I still can delete it
>Do it
>The mod has done the same at least 4000+ times

>>18168793
Nailed It

>>18168762
>it had sunken eyes, pale skin and long razor sharp teeth

Just write *generic monster*

>>18169082

tl;dr tbhfam

>be me
>Quiet time with *insert human*
>Unknown sound
>Never find it
>Still scared to this day
>BUT WHO WAS PHONE

>>18170848
Newfag detected.

>>18173544
Proof?

>>18171977
Yeah, maybe it was, but even shitty movies can make some good points, and I think anon was pointing that out. He didnt say the movie was good.

>>18169010
Eye kry evertiem

>>18168993
>Quote arrow
>Clearly a meme arrow
>kys

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>>18168768
I got the explanation right here

>I'm dead the whole time and I'm telling you this story from beyond the grave
>somehow
Thanks for killing any sense of tension I had, story

Anyone have the story about the /k/ommando who assfucked a skinwalker?

>>18168762
>I've never posted on here before

Or

>this is my first time here but-

>>18170678
>Nah vivid descriptions take away from the impact and is also unrealistic. Would a very frightened person really take the time to note and remember all the details of an unfamiliar creature? No.

Not true in the least. If you have ever been in a traumatic situation, you tend to remember a fuck load. I was mugged 5 years ago for example. My nose was broke and I had a few teeth knocked out. Even after all this time I could describe the guy who did it perfectly, and even his name as I heard his friend shout it. I remember the taste, the smell, remember it all like it just happened yesterday.

Unless it's something built into the story, then it is true that vague descriptions are a dead give away to a total fake story. "I saw this one in a billion paranormal creature, but I can't for the life of me recall what it looks like!"
Bullshit.

>>18171533
Ted's Caving Page, old enough to be excusable tbf and still gives me the willies

>>18170868
>green texting
>2007
You've got to be retarded

>>18168809
shitpost of the day

>>18170366
>nigger uses phrases like "occams razor"
>unironically misspells "ghost"

>>18175041
comes across pretty ironical actually. with the mocking tone and all caps

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>see wall of text, multiple posts
>scroll on past
The point of a greentext is to be concise.

>>18175001
Are you implying green text wasn't used in 2007?

>>18170853
>being this new

Less of an issue with green text and more of one having to do with people who go around the whole haunted video game/computer trope. 'Mah PC is infected by spooky binary man demon' is getting fucking old.

>>18172502
>police can't do anything about person harassing the author
Gotta agree with you on this one my dude

>>18168773
>b u
>b fgt

>>18174143
This is true, but to think of things that you really can't explain. Say, there's a person that has never seen the color blue. Without showing that person an object that is blue, how would you describe it?

Some things our brain just can't comprehend, or the person's just stupid.

>>18175724
>Sketch USB that causes bricking of PC that starts working again just to display "oogabooga.exe"
>Usually something from the 90's that involves 9/11 predictions
>HYPA REELISTIK BLOOD STARTED POURING FROM SANICS EYES WHILE THE SOUNDS OF ROBOTNIK CRYING GOT LOUDER AND LOUDER
>usually ends with something trite like "I AM GOD"

Oh and fuck every cartoon "theory", we get it everyone's dead and they're in hell.

>>18168762

this is more for the 'true scary stories' you see narrated on youtube these days but

>I DONT LIKE TO THINK WHAT WOULD HAVFE HAPPENED, IF XX INSTEAD OF YY

kills me

>>18176303

no man, it was all just a dream. because cartoons arent realistic.

therefore it has to be a dream. all of them.

>>18175146
wasnt used to tell stories back then.

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>The story just keeps going after the "reveal" or the "shock"

This is why all stories on Reddit's nosleep are complete shit. HAUNTED DOLL PART 47. Fuck off. When the mystery is gone you better wrap that shit up quick because the story is over whether you like it or not.

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>>18171037
Just read NES Godzilla for (you).

>My [relative/friend/pet] was keeping me up all night
>My [relative/friend/pet] died three years ago

>>18176502
holy fuck, this

Even a lot of professional writers really need to learn about this

>>18176502
Jeff da killa XVI: Jeff vs Slenderman, the reckoning.

>>18176682
I wish this was a joke but that anime-boy wannabe really does get stories like this

>>18169082
>>18169121
>>18169297
>>18169573
Every pasta ever made

https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=-0xbpcq0Ni0

>>18170848
>>18169079
Fun fact: starting your greentext story with ">be me" used to be a massive sign that someone is a newfag

>>18173544
spooky

>>18168768
You must be 18 years or older to browse this board

>>18172502
>creepy stalker is always described as short
It's so we can hide better.

>>18168809
green texting is basically just a way to cut out pointless details from an already pointless story.
its efficient

>>18176502
Worst part is that you can't even criticize or comment on that shit, it's not ~friendly~ to receive criticisms, constructive or otherwise.

>>18168801
Calvinandhobbes.jpg

Thank you all. Now I know how to make the worst creepy pasta of all time. I'll post it in a few days.

>>18173911
Underrated for this thread.

>>18180018
Please do, I'll give you so many (You)s

>>18171533
I know the exact story and time I read it, very accurate, cannot remember the title.

>>18168762
thanks for reminding me of this cancer

>>18168768
I also really hate this.

>>18168829
This is really obnoxious. Just post. Obviously everyone wants to hear a spooky story.

>>18168762
>Hyperealistic

>Story keeps going past when it was scary to try to explain everything
This one in particular is why Barbie.avi is so fucking creepy.

>>18171461
>Any reference to being being drunk or high.

Jesus Christ, this. "I was using mind-altering substances, and then something completely ordinary happened which I for some reason attached extraordinary significance to!!!!" I always ignore stories that start out with drug use. Drunks getting spooked by bumps in the night is not a good fucking story.

>>18169297
Candle cove worked because of its element that it does seem like something someone would have forgotten about and find later.

>>18181805
what makes those stories unbelievable is being drunk gives you insane, irrational fearlessness.

fucking video game pastas.
nigga unplug that shit? no idea how people take shit like ben drowned or sonic 666 seriously at all

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>>18168801

ITT
>I hate memes so much!

>>18182588
Because they are cancer, as are you.

>>18168768
Way to derail the thread faggot

>See long greentext with four parts
>See the replies at the end
>They all shit on it
Yeah I just stopped investing time in long green texts

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>>18171533
Both pic related and Ted's Caving do this, Ted's Caving is literally the most overrated pasta ever. Well, that and 1999 which also has a shite non-ending

>>18171660
did you also realise that most of these are legitimate criticisms?

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>>18182052
here is a vidya pasta done well f@m

I hate when they are verifiably untrue, like they give someone a weird last name that no one has ever had or mention a nonexistent store in a town

>>18181831
>be me
>be britbong
>decide to go camping inawoods with my mates
>we are drinking beer and chanting for our favourite football team, Leeds FC obviously; 'LEEDS, LEEDS, LEEDS', we get absolutely smashed off our heads mate
>just pissing around and arguing about who has the best Adidas white trainers whilst regaling tales of our top lads holiday to Malia in the summer just gone
>suddenly i start smelling this fucking vile smell, like rotten meat or some shit
>'Fucking hell Tom lad, have you shit yourself bruv'
>all burst out laughing
>Tom says it wasn't him
>hear a low hiss from the woods behind us, sounding like 'leeeeeeeeeedsss' almost like it was copying us or some shit
>'Oi who the fuck's there' I shout as Darren draws his penknife
>this hairless humanoid crawls out of the bushes and growls at us
>'Do you want some you CUNT' i shout at its face
>it looks uneasy for a moment, before roaring and preparing to pounce
>'Let's ave it lads!' I cry, resounding like i'm in the midst of the battle of Hastings
>the beast pounces at me and i glass it right in its fuck ugly gob whilst me lads kick its head in
>draw my own switchblade and stab it in its left eye
>creature whimpers and turns
>'where the fuck are you going!' I shout at it, stamping my own Adidas' on its hind legs
>it wriggles free and runs off into the woods
>my lads say 'leave it bruv its had enough'
>I disagree 'fuck that for a laugh, that cunt made me spill my Carling on my Leeds shirt'
>i charge off into the woods after it

>>18183037
Oh my god.

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>>18183054
>be me
>be Pajeet
>decide to go coding inawoods with my mates
>we are coding and chanting for our favorite tech company, SAP labs, obviously; 'SAP, SAP, SAP', we get absolutely smashed off our heads ji

>just pissing around and arguing about who has the best Adidas white polo shirt whilst regaling tales of our top lads holiday to Mauritius in the summer just gone
>suddenly I start smelling this fucking vile smell, like rotten meat or some shit
>'Wat the fuck motherfacking bich? Smells like home '
>all burst out crying because they are homesick
>hear a low hiss from the woods behind us, sounding like 'SSSSSAAPPPP' almost like it was copying us or some shit
>'Oi who fucking there mother fucker' I shout as Surtaj draws his ballpoint
>this hairy humanoid crawls out of the bushes and growls at us
>'What you are wanting? ' i shout at its face
>it looks uneasy for a moment, before roaring and preparing to pounce
>'Oi madercho!' I cry, resounding like i'm in the midst of the battle of kargil
>the beast pounces at me and i glass it right in its fuck mother fucking fucker face whilst my lads kick its head in

>draw my own fountain pen and stab it in its left eye

>creature whimpers and turns

>'Oh shit it's Sanjay, the lower caste scum!' I shout.

>Sanjay wriggles free and runs off into the woods

>my lads say 'leave it bhai its had enough'

>I disagree 'I will rape that for a laugh. That cunt made me spill my darjeeling on my Microsoft shirt'

>i charge off into the woods after it

Cannot believe no one has said
>...and we never spoke of it again

>>18168762
>continue?
red flag their full of shit

>>18183108
>be me
>be burger
>decide to go shooting inawoods with my cousins
>we are shooting and screaming 'USA, USA, USA'
>just pissing around and arguing about who has the best segway whilst regaling tales of our top lads holiday to europe in the summer just gone
>suddenly i start smelling this fucking vile smell, like fresh bigmac or some shit
>'fucking hell jerry, did you shit yourself bro?'
>all burst out laughing
>jerry says 'it was that one time at mart, guys'
>hear a low hiss from the woods behind us, sounding like 'uuuuussssssssssaaa' almost like it was copying us or some shit
>'hey you son of a bitch' i shout as tyler draws his army knife
>fat humanoid rolls from the bushes and says his going to sue us
'sue this you faggot' i cry, resounding like i'm in the midst of the battle of bagdad
>the beast farts at me and i glass it right in the asshole while my cousins are applauding
>draw my own constitution and read his rights to him
>creature runs
>'where the fuck are you going?' i shout at it, while driwing on it with my segway
>he frees himself and runs into the woods
>my cousins say 'leave it bro, he had enough'
>i disagree 'i will free him for a laugh, the cunt made me lose my weight'
>i proceed to brjng freedom and democracy in his territory, as i go i hear loud clapping of my cousins

>>18183037
This made my eyes hurt a lot reading it and I kinda got a small headache.

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I might be a bit late to the party.
But what the fuck is with those couple skin walker stories that either the author or the group of friends is like 100% sure they brought home a skin walker instead of their real friend, then they end the story with something like
>We don't know if what we brought back that day was really Dave or something worse.
>This all happened months ago and we just don't think about it anymore, we also just don't talk to Dave anymore.
Like you think you bring back some horrible monster from the woods and instead of doing any follow up whatsoever you just shit post your story months later?

>>18183343
I wouldn't worry about it.

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>>18183054
>leeds

good taste my friend

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>>18183054
haven't laughed so much in a long time after reading this

>>18168762
>I had the feeling that someone was watching me
>Still gives me goosebumps to this day
>Thank God I had my big ass dog
>I literally couldn't move
>I couldn't get a good look at it but I think it looked like this.... Then proceed to describe it in great detail

I don't even continue reading if it even says any of these things

>>18183054
top kek

I like the pastas that read like an account of something that actually happened, and include real places or a timeframe

of course 99 percent of them are autismo HAVE YOU SEEN THE BLACK CROW? ITS ACTUALLY A 1000000 YEAR OLD ANGEL OF DEATH...

>>18184950
Don't forget the
HAVE YOU SEEN THE BLACK CROW? WELL IF YOU FOLLOW IT'S TRAIL ON A TUESDAY AFTERNOON WHILE IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY OUTSIDE IT WILL LEAD YOU TO A GROVE OF TREES. SPIN AROUND IN CIRCLES IN THIS GROVE UNTIL YOU FALL DOWN FROM DIZZINESS, BUT IT CAN'T BE MORE THAN 40 SECONDS OF SPINNING AND IT CAN'T BE LESS THAN 20 OR IT WON'T WORK. ONCE YOU FALL DOWN YOU WILL FALL THROUGH THE GROUND STRAIGHT INTO HELL AND DIE AND BURN. THE END.
type "ritual" pastas.

>>18183250
F R E S H M E E M

>>18185090
need more chavpasta where the narrator goes after the thing and gets into a fight with it and ends up bashing it to death with his m8s

>>"ur not a thousand years old anymore dead cunt lmao" I laffed with me m8s

>>18168768
Its a firsthand account story you dumbfuck

>>18168762
Don't forget the fucking
>Do this day it still haunts/chills me.

Kinda coincides with the

>"I'm getting chills/goosebumps just writing this"

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>>18168788
>>18171883

I love all skinwalker/innawoods stories

>>18169297
This shit does irritate me

>>18170366
You sound like some boring psuedo-intellectual fedora wearing faggot.

>>18171461
Ehh, this doesn't bother me if its parts of he story. Like if they're celebrating at a bar for aome reason, and then go back home, pass out and wake up sober and something haooens, or if they're just a bit stoned. Despite what you idiots believe, being high off weed doesn't make you hallucinate, and neither does being drunk for that matter.


>>18183054
Kekd myself to death over this

>>18185224
Goddammit i fucking saged by mistake

>>18183250
>>18183108
I havent laughed like this in a long time

I'm bored at work
What are /x/'s top 10 obscure/not well known creepypastas?

>>18185626
I'm in the same boat, interested too. The 7 room one or something was really good imo.

>>18185631
If you're talking about NoEnd House, I wouldn't classify is it as "not well known"

>>18176309
For real though
It might be because they read a lot of reddit stories ?

>>18185638
I was here the night the author first posted it.

He tried to a sequel the next night, but he just wrote it as he posted it, so there was a huge quality drop.

>>18185626

I like the one about the lad staying with his creepy Danish grandad out innawoods, with spoopy consequences. It's a bit over-written, but it's a good yarn.

Did he ever come back?

>>18172671
Visit any glory holes lately? :3

>>18169082
tl;dr
>Greentext pls

>we were all just doing a shitload of weed and I swear to god, something weird happened!

>>18185821
You cant "do" weed. Its like tobacco. You dont "do" cigarettes, you nerd.

>>18185823
you should do a gun in your mouth

>>18185823
>We were all just using mind-altering substances to trick our weak brains into experiencing something other than the constant misery of our pathetic existence and I swear something weird happened!

>>18185826
Ohhh! Watch you dont cut yourself on that edge, junior!

>>18185851
I don't know, using drugs is a pretty edgelord thing to do.

> Yea, take that society, I'm a rebel
> I can stop anytime I want
> How is a herb bad for you?
> I'm original as all hell
> Counterculture as fuck

>>18185872
So many strawmen. I mean, pot is literally better than for you than tobacco OR liquor.

I get that you dont like it, thats fine, but Canadas gonna legalize, more states are gonna legalize it, and you can keep your fingers in your ears shouting "pot is bad! Pot is bad!" but society is going to move on bro.

>>18185826
I laughed, thanks anon

>>18185876
You misunderstand.

I have nothing against pot, really I don't, it can't help that it exists.

It's edgy retards that smoke it, that I have a problem with. Weed, like liquor or nicotine is addictive, but you'll never ever see a pothead admit that.

By all means, I hope pot is legalized, then all the "weed culture" faggots will stop smoking because it's not illegal anymore and those that can't stop, can smoke it freely.

>>18185872
Only straight-edge cucks think drugs are hardcore. Its just stuff man. You drink coffee, I snort coke. Chemicals serving purposes.

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>be me
>for what felt like forever
>uses third person verbs to describe own actions

>>18186023
>edgy degenerate

kys my man

Fuck "Don't look behind you!" or "You're next!" endings to the moon and back.

>>18171533
are you sure you aren't mixing Ted the Caver up with something else? I read that not too long ago, and there wasn't anything about indian burial ground, the "creature" was never even seen, and he had pics that went along with it.

He only came out that the story was pure fiction (the creepy parts, really did do the caving stuff) after some cunt tried to plagiarize his story for their own novel.

>>18186163
way to miss the point

>>18171861
also, "my therapist (who I'm seeing because of this event) told me I should write this".

I've never heard of a therapist telling someone to write out the story of their rape, or seeing their friends blown up by a car bomb, or watching their kid die by drowning. Why would they do it for any other traumatic event?

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scrolling down past your thread, 2 threads down I see this

fucking comical

>>18179740
this. all the tall stalkers were found and arrested. They can't get into the really clever hiding spots to watch you pee.

>>18168762
>Blood and organs spilled out onto the floor
>The smell of death and rot
>"I'm writing this as a warning"

>>18186017
>Weed, like liquor or nicotine is addictive, but you'll never ever see a pothead admit that.
Because it's not true. Alcohol and nicotine make your brain dependent on them through known chemical reactions. Weed doesn't do that. I smoked it for years straight in highschool, almost every day. When it came time to start looking for a job, I dropped it cold turkey, no withdrawals, no cravings, nothing. Can't do that shit with cigarettes

>>18186174
I thought the point was "evidence disappeared". Those pics for ted the caver never did that. The points made didn't even happen in that story, besides "never posted again", which was fitting. People disappear into caves and are never heard from again in real life, you don't even need a spook for that.

If anything, that story had one of the best, even buildups, not the "ghost demon indian burial ground in zero seconds flat". Never mentioned burial ground, never mentioned demon, never even saw what "it" was, or if there was really an "it" at all. I honestly believe you're mashing two different stories together in memory.

>>18186302
>ghost demon indian burial ground in zero seconds flat
this is obviously just a hyperbole. Like "voodoo witchcraft" to describe something vaguely magical. Holy shit, anon. How can you read that and think it is meant literally?
And the shit with the pics definitely happened in that story. They disappeared, were corrupted or couldnt be made for some retarded reason.

>>18186322
K, I just imagined like a dozen or so pictures of the cave. right.

Dude actually explored a cave. He took pictures of it, then added a creepy narrative around it after the fact.

>>18186335
well, cave pictures are in there

>>18186292
Of course you dropped an addictive substance without a single withdrawal.

> I smoked it for years straight in highschool, almost every day

Not at all addicted, you simply didn't want to stop smoking, I suppose?

There's always going to be someone defending a mind altering substance, which weed is, and that's totally okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I'm of the opinion that anyone who does drugs is a sad, sad human being.

>>18186393
But drinking a beer is Ok, right? :^)

>>18168829
>"Should I continue?"
>after everyone itt says to he doesn't and the thread dies

Makes my blood boil

>>18186414
Liquor tastes like shit, don't understand that either but like I said, if you want to drink or take drugs or smoke, it's your choice.

There is no point in arguing with a drug user or alcoholic, they know they're always right.

>>18186447
so you never drink any alcohol

>>18176502
No, but I just remembered a bunch of new stuff, even more terrifying than before... i just blocked it out

>>18186447
>an occasional beer makes you an alcoholic
I bet you'd be great fun at parties if you had any friends.

>night
>darkness
Can we not have daytime horror? Imagine some grotesque abomination shambling down a sunlit meadow towards a picnicking family. That'd be pretty effective.

>>18180018
any decent progress yet?

>>18186687
Not him but here's one I've been working on for months

>be me
>lying in bed on a moonless clear night
>hear a sound
>leap out of my chair
>try to identify where the sound came from but hard to hear over the crashing rain outside
>a face looms outside of the window
>the moon is reflecting off it's pulsiminuos visage the likes of which would kill anyone stone dead just by looking at it, even me
>decide it's nothing and go back to bed
>wake the next morning
>family have all been slain downstairs
>buddy calls up and asks if I want to get high
>say ok and go to grab my jacket
>look at newspaper lying on the mat by the front door
>MAN KILLS FAMILY IN NIGHT
>look in the mirror
>I am the face

>>18186699
fantastic lol

>>18176303
Every cartoon character is actually dead and you are seeing the events that lead to their demise.

>>18168793
"I smelled a smelly smell.. smelled... Smelly." Is what I get from "gut wrenching metallic awful worst smell ever blah blah smelled like dead animals blah"

>>18186699
Ur story is bad and u should feel bad.
I can't believe u "worked on it for months".... Pitiful.

>>18181801
Barbie.avi is still in my top five, and it was one of the first creepypastas I ever read

>>18186748
:'(

>>18186724
Or the character in in coma and you are seeing his dreams. Or everyone is just a figment of 1 character's imagination

>>18178831
>Every pasta ever made

You mean this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rxrYKODrdQ

>>18171798
Sometimes it's done well, like here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/52e0g6/harambeexe/

>>18186832
>reads link
Fuck off nigger, hilarious ruse.
"I'll post something saying that it's good when really it's not good!"
Kill yourself you inbred

>>18171037
Seriously, what the fuck was he thinking

>>18186599
Alright bro, believe whatever your drug addled brain tells you.

>fleshgaits

>>18186393

I can't tell if you're a troll or just this ignorant.

Maybe not specific to creepypastas, but scary stories in general.

>I have a friend, let's call them ____.

I don't care what the reason is. Whether you want to "keep their identity safe", or you just don't want to use their name.

No one will ever know who they are. Your friend cant be found by first name alone. You aren't keeping anyone safe you're just wasting time.

>>18187529
They could just make some fake name up. Like John or whatever. The story is fake anyway.

>>18187566
Exactly. If you're going to use a fake name, why tell me? How would I know either way?

>>18186699
Lmao

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>>18168762
>description of creature is always Tall, pale, with big eyes

>>18168887
Think this was big back in the "old days" of creepy pasta.

>>18187529
I have a friend, let's call him Tim. On account of that's his name.

>>18169521
I agree with two of them, but something just being off is an RL thing. Either with people or a situation.

Specific to video game creepypastas, I can't really buy into that whole "This game is ALIVE and can READ my THOUGHTS" spiel.

My favourites are the ones that just "I bought this cartridge and some asshole fucking hacked it just to be a piece of shit."

>>18173501
Would you not chase after a vague spoopy thing by yourself?

Sounds like you're a pussy.

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>I was just laying down to bed
>Man hook hand door car hairless humanoid rotten meat
>Dark soulless eyes skinwalker grinning in the dark
>And then I woke up

Just admit you had a spoopy nightmare guys. No need to lie.

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>>18185804
>be me
>ALL greentext stories suck ass
>Greentext is done to help the post-literate era Millennials process /x/
>their atrophied brains can not process more than five words in a row
>Paragraphs to them are undecipherable 'walls of text'
>Greentext breaks info into 'byte'-sized chunks to help the spoon-feeding of data to Millennials
>Also millennials are all jobless & broke
>they can only access the Internet through cellphones their mom gave them for Christmas
>they can only see tiny parts of a webpage at a time
>Greentext again makes things small enough for Millennials to have a chance of understanding what's going on
>my hyper-realistic face when

op here.
Gonna try my hand at a bad pasta.

I wanna start off by saying this is 100% true. Frankly, I don't care if you believe me.

>be me

cont?

>>18189284
yes i am already engrossed

>>18188840
Ha ha jokes on you

My mom gave me this phone in November

>>18168768
Comes from /b/ is a meme makes it more funny desu

>>18189284
Yes, this was very scary

>>18168788
>gutteral
Literally why

>>18188311
well, all those things are rl things. But it is such an annoying trope and is used in so many creepypastas. It is just lazy writing. The reader is supposed to understand the mood on his own

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>>18168762
>first person narrative
>presented as a recount of an actual thing that happened to the writer/narrator
>ends with narrator dying

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>>18190222
>starts off with narrator already dead

>>18168768
Newfag

>>18168768
What if you're telling somebody else's story dipshit? They say "be me" because its their fucking story. Just as you'd see someone start with "be my dad" if the author was telling it from his fathers perspective. How is this hard to figure out? Are you actually stupid?

>>18168788
Nah man the grinning always gets me, something about that shit just gets me trembling

>>18186393
>being this autistic

Just stop, you're embarrassing yourself.

>>18190405

makes me think about shitty fanfics where the edgy character has a smirk permanently taped onto their face

File: eJwNyMEOwiAMANB_4eBtQOnajiWLBz9kcVBcjGGLQy_Gf9d3fB_zej7MaNbW9mN07khbbVqbLUdN0KEt9WrLknK1VZt7uwbWd9FB70MAkRnYMyIjRaYhYpyJwv9A0AsDE3mJc7X3_Xbe1imzAklhVL9EJBg05NyjpqX3HHI6bTrRAEgXieb7A0UULBE.0E0Vmlu8WqMoDJLokamjmbnA9VI.jpg (19KB, 640x329px) Image search: [Google]

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>>18168762
>hears noise
>immediately grabs gun

>anon with group of friends in the woods
>everyone hears noise
>everyone is armed

>friend is supposedly dead, missing, etc
>more concerned over spooky monster they don't actually know exists

>repressed memories about spooky childhood shit
>asks parents about it
>"their expressions changed to horror" every fucking time, as if parents never have different reactions

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>Poorly conceived and/or contrived action sequence
>muh gore

>>18168887
>>18168887
>>18168887
>ctrl+f
>"hyper"
thank fuckin god I'm not the only sick of this bullshit

>>18190433
Exactly

>>18190709
Which is exactly why it's garbage.

>>18168762
>but what really got me was...
>it still haunts me to this day

Mr Nightmare stories always include one of these phrases. Ditto on the 'I swer on me nanz grave its troo?!' line.

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>>18168762
>The story is just about a girl being followed by a guy trying to fuck her

>>18186847
Was I talking to you, you little cunt? No. Go back to shoving dragon dildos up your ass.

>>18190925
stop posting

I have one you'll love

>I swear this is 100% true.
>This girl I was trying to get with at the time, I can't remember her name (Brittney? Becky?) . >I'm getting chills/goosebumps just writing this
>then end

Ok i've gotta ask WHAT THE FUCK ARE SKINWALKERS?!

Are they witches that commit horrible crimes to get the power to transform into animals? Are they people that can rip the skin off of humans and pretend to be them? Whenever i google them i always get a slightly different answer. Are they just an overrated meme?

>>18168768
All the butthurt replies. I mean I agree it's meme tradition now, but you guys need to chill out.

>>18191015
It is an extremely misleading term. When you google it you will find witch/shaman type figures from the folklore of native americans.
On /x/ they are weird creatures, that can mimic humans to different degrees. Just read some skinwalker creepypasta

>>18190468
>not immediately grabbing your gun upon hearing a strange noise
You some kinda commie?

>>18190468
>implying there's any problem with the first two

Alright, leftist American, or eurocuck?

>>18191015
Well, you have Navajo skinwalkers who are basically evil witches who, due to a curse afflicted by committing some serious taboo - murdering a close family member, for instance - have a variety of dark powers, chief among them being changing into the shape of an animal by wearing its skin.

Then you have /x/ skinwalkers, which are basically shapeshifting forest demons that eat people.

I have a story for you guys. To start off, I swear this is 100% true. It just happened to me at around 12AM EST

>Be me
>Sitting at home by myself, smoking weed while playing a video game in the living room. The guy who sold it to me said the last person who played it died.
>Just as my N64 started to leak blood, I hear a noise coming from upstairs
>A shiver runs up my spine, I'm getting goosebumps just writing this
>It sounded like a slow knocking, as if someone were pacing back and forth right above me
>I was so scared I couldn't move, all I could do was sit there and listen to... whatever it was walking around above me
>Finally it stops, and after a few lines of coke, I decide to investigate
>I reach the stairs and clutch at the handrail, fingernails nearly digging into the wood. Each step I take feels like my feet are weighed down by 10 ton bricks
>When I finally reached the top of the steps, I look down the pitch black hallway and see that the door at the end of the hall is open.
>Suddenly it hits me
>This funny, metallic smell fills my nose
>I follow to that door at the end of the hallway and cautiously reach forward
>It's my room
>The same room I've spent plenty of nights in with my girlfriend. We'll call her Sally. That's not her name, but I want to protect her identity.
>I pushed the door open and I hear a low breathing in the back corner
>I can barely see anything in the darkness, only the small amount the moonlight illuminates through the window.
>Then I see it
>The white, toothy grin shining through the darkness
>The honk that rings out from the ball on its nose still haunts me to this day
>I stared at, whatever it was, for what felt like hours, before I shut the door and went back downstairs
>I was literally shaking by the time I reached my couch, so I decided to watch some cartoons to help ease my nerves

cont.

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>>18186699
>the moon is reflecting off it's pulsiminuos visage the likes of which would kill anyone stone dead just by looking at it, even me
>decide it's nothing and go back to bed

>>18169010
Best creepypasta line

>>18168762

>"it looked exactly like (insert movie monster or internet based monster here)

>>18191082
>>18191074

I have no problem with guns, but saying you immediately (and 20 others) grabbed your guns and went full sharpshooter after hearing a vague sound is laughable and totally unrealistic. Ruins suspension of disbelief every time.

>>18191015
/x/ skinwalkers are the mary sues of the cryptid world

>>18191082
triggered

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>>18190998

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>>18191239

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>>18169573
>Lovecraft favorite words
>"dank"

>>18191027
I forgot about this thread for like 4 days. Came back and all these butthurt (you)'s for me are glorious.

>>18191239
Sorry the wait, guys. I got stuck in some weird time loop.

Anyways

>When I got back downstairs I decided to watch some cartoons.
>I switch on the cable and start flipping through the channels
>But something weird was going on
>Every channel was pitch dark, completely silent save for this sickly faint giggling.
>Then, the sounds of footsteps
>The same footsteps from upstairs
>I heard them getting closer, getting louder on the television
>With each step, a shiver runs up my spine and goosebumps crawl across my skin
>I can hear the giggling at the top of my stairs
>The same pitch black image on the tv
>So I decide to put on a tape
>I go to my collection and look through them
>Candle Cove, SuicideMouse.avi, Dead Bart, Squidward's Suicide
>Just as I'm putting in Candle Cove, I hear the front door open and close
>I stand up and face the door
>I find the courage to walk to the window and look outside
>What I see shakes me
>At the edge of the woods stands some man in a clown costume, smiling at me with that same toothy grin
>Just standing there, smiling at me until something innawoods draws his attention
>Whatever it was, it crept up behind the clown and started to devour him
>It was pale, had patches of hair on its body. It looked kind of like a big dog, but not right somehow. It's arms were elongated, it tore the clown apart with its razor sharp teeth
>Hyper-realistic blood was pouring everywhere and staining the grass and trees around it, staining its grotesque pale skin
>My Native American neighbor must have seen my shocked face from his yard, across the fence
>He yelled at me and told me it was a skinwalker

cont.

>>18174143
A human mugger is a completely different thing to an unknown monster

>>18191936
>[The native american neighbor] yelled at me and told me it was a skinwalker
Best part.

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>>18190231
>narrator breaks the fourth wall

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>>18191387
>he doesn't grab gun immediately after hearing the faintest sound
>he has not glued his gun to his hand to be always armed in this scary world

>>18186899
This is two days old but I'm still going to tell you to kill yourself because ignorant twats like you need purged.

>pot is addictive
>what is research
>what are facts
>what is the value of my life

Protip: It has fucking none.