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I've been doing an extensive amount of research on greys for a book i"ve been writing. it's fictional, but I've been using a lot of references to make it feel more realistic.
I know it's probably common, but the more I hear and do, the more unconsciously frightened I become. when I'm awake, I take a very technical approach. when I fall asleep I am beginning to have night terrors and nightmares about these things, and indefinable feeling of dread when I wake up at night.
now for the most part i think this is just my brain working out all the information, but the more paranoid part of me almost thinks that being interested makes them interested. I've heard they feed off negative emotions. perhaps the research in tandem with the writing, which is horror in nature is making me a beacon.
I do not want this, but I cannot stop this project since I am working a collaboration.
in your opinion, do you think it's just paranoia from late nights, or have i opened up a door, and it will just keep getting wider as I continue?
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You're ok. I promise
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You're letting the mood of your project get to you overmuch. Without a concrete experience to draw on, you're really just creating feelings over nothing. Just be sure you take care of yourself--take a break once in a while!
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>>18093529
Yes. You are paranoid.
But that is a good thing. Because you should be paranoid.
These are some very dark waters to be swimming in, young child.
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>>18093529
I thought that alien was wearing a hat for a second.
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>>18093595
>>18093589
thanks... i think just putting it out there makes me feel better. it's a lot to be surrounded by constantly playing videos and sifting though all these sites. deadlines are rough, and it forces me to be emerged for months... making me feel crazy and on edge.
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>>18093529
You've gotten too far into your own book and done it for too long. Take it from a writer. After spending pretty much every waking hour in your fictional universe (a universe that makes perfect sense to you, or else you would have written it differently), it starts to become THE universe as far as your mind is concerned. As for why the paranoia, I think your mind starts to see the "bad guys" as actual threats since you're thinking about them all the time.
In other words, yes you are paranoid, and it is apparently a natural hazard for us writers.
>I cannot stop this project
I was going to suggest writing about something completely different until the paranoia stops, but...I suppose you could try repeating to yourself that it's fiction every time the paranoia rises. Do something, though. This can indeed reach the point where you get totally sucked into it.
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>>18093635
I do take breaks during the week, and candy my brain out. i just hope I don't go through some Burroughs or Phillip K Dick hole and break myself... but i should be so lucky, or so most people would say. I'd rather not.
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>>18093613
Definitely saw a sombrero on the alien first.. I was sad after I did a double take.
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>>18093529
Well…has anything noteworthy actually happened? All you've described is how you feel and thoughts you've had, with no real indication that these correlate meaningfully to any real world events, at least one of which would pretty much by definition be required to elevate your headspace from idle paranoia to perception of an actual threat. I'm not really sure where the ambiguity lies for you, there seems to be no basis for the argument or suspicion that something bad is actually occurring.
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>>18093529
This can only help your book. Your fear will carry over into the writing.
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>>18093689
Perfect.
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>>18093689
Make Zeta Reticuli Great Again!
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