I fucked up

and somebody just tuned into my radio-broadcast, i am very confused right now

Too much FBI-activity, hm :)

Like, i have an intense fear of emotions, when i get them or feel them, while emotions is what makes my world spin

like, i want to react on them, and let them in, but then, i get afraid

or my mind becomes clouded, and i want to wake up in a hospital in Manhattan, with people who understand

even though i have never been to America

Which was also my problem with the girl, even though it might be wrong to call her a girl

But i tried to understand her too well, and somehow i also felt like i did, which i shouldn't have

because we were just two people on a lost island

>>18042300
and my world hadn't really been about emotions, or other people, in a long time

and as i started to date her, or felt like, we were actually dating

it wasn't just my mind that started acting weird, my surroundings started changing too

But there is quite a lot to actually write, if my story is to make sense

not sure where to start, if anybody is actually interested, but i can write about the pre-setup, how my world was, i can write about what happened when i dated her, and how i fucked up, in some sense

or i can write about the post-apocalypse i experienced, and am currently experiencing, not sure if i am in the post-apocalypse yet, to be totally blunt

But a lot of stuff happened, the story is really hard to make sense of.

File: rk9P0Fa.jpg (60KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 1280x720px

Tell us about witch-chan, and how she inadvertently truth bombed you into realizing that the take over is already well under way, if not already complete.

Humans always expect explosions. They just LOVE explosions. Especially Americans--they're convinced that the end of the world will happen with explosions. They even have a fucking holiday... celebrating explosions.

It's so ingrained in the minds of Americans, that they cannot possibly contemplate that the most deadly forces are the ones you DON'T see, and DON'T make a very loud noise announcing their presence.

We get it. So go ahead, tell us about witch-chan. Was she a qt?

Dude holy shit get it together! You need to have a talk of "so how do you see me?" You guys need to mutually clarify your just friends or could be something more. It's great to see how much you feel for her and about the whole situation but the more you enjoy what's not clarified; the greater the hurt .

Way too sexual, way too attractive, always outgoing and too affectionate
and very kind

almost only there so i could fall in love, which i did

and then i didn't make a move, got wild sexual dreams about her, still didn't make a move, she got confused and sad

and i was, what is my world

who are you

then she disappeared, or - put me on ignore list, with out disappearing from my mind

and then, i was forced into meditation by my school, and the next thing that happens is she appears in my meditation as force of light and sun

>>18042349
and for the past 3 years i have been asking how can you, or she, be in my mind, with out being in my world

still no answer, but a lot of stuff has happened since then

even though i currently have locked my self up at my parents farm trying to dodge every part of reality as i try to make sense of what happened

mostly i just sit and write boring and depressed emails to her

Storms also started manifestng in the world every time we met, or - i tried to get to courage to just kiss her, and believe, but instead i just froze

and everything around me just started spinning

>>18042252
I had this same experience as you, I took action though. Though my world went into chaos afterwards and she is gone. I say if you are gonna go for it make sure to never let her go.

>>18042385
In fact I think all soul mates are like what you are saying. It's complete chaos and it's testing you to see if you are ready to deal with the chaos. So are you anon?

and are everybody on this site just robots repeating what they have read or been told, it seems like that

It's why i stopped going here, but i thought maybe somebody was interested

I will go dedicate myself to my astral pussy instead, its more fun

>>18042453
which actually says a lot

>>18042334
and this is like my whole world ever since i met her, every time i try to talk or tell something, or just speak

everybody i talk to just try to get me to tell a certain story, or lead me down a certain road

with her, i could just speak my own mind and tell my own story, about what ever

and i haven't been able to do that with anybody else, except maybe for the CIA-agents in my house

But not really, and i kinda feel like they kidnapped me, or something, not sure

>>18042536
and i never really felt spiritual, i was always fascinated in some sense by it, even though it never really seemed to have anything to do with me

>>18042544
and i get annoyed because i just wanted to sit a teenage room with her, put on some pleasant music, lie down with her, look her in the eyes, and learn how to touch her and kiss

and not do very much

but somehow, i don't know, i kept feeling sabotaged

Sound like a whiny bitch man the fuck up and enjoy your suffering.

>>18042557
yeah, that's what i told myself, she doesn't want a guy like that

So i better just keep walking somewhere, i don't know

Then all the weird stuff happened, i don't know

>>18042570
I almost ended up assaulting a street hustler on my way home, after she stopped talking to me, and i tried asking what up

life is kinda ironic that way, since then i have been sitting and asking myself

is there something wrong with me, or the world

i don't know

>>18042570
>>18042580
Stop identifying with your emotions, put yourself in control and not them. Go out and do something active to occupy your time and forgot about her go find yourself, there is more to the world than this girl.

>>18042557
it felt like bait, and i am like, i don't really care enough to be a fish or not a fish

>>18042581
yeah, the aliens keep telling me that.

>>18042581
and really there isn't anything much i desire, which is kinda my problem, most of my time is just spent trying to kill my time

>>18042593
>much i desire
Your suffering for things you believe you desire. You think your desire will be fulfilled if you had what you wanted but more than likely you will still have lack.

>>18042364

Brother, rejoice. This message is for you. Act on it and see the Truth in everything. The truth is what unites us into this single realm.

>>18044372
yeah, what i told myself and they told me, they asked if i was trying to start wikileaks by posting here.

It's just weird, i feel so hostile towards the world and my surroundings by following a solitary path, while i know on the same note, nobody really cares that much about my path anyway

>>18045908
and if the truth is kept behind a gate, it makes the world seem more like a prison, than anything else

even though i have no idea what truth in absolute terms means, i just talk with spirit people

Kill yourself OP

>>18045943
is that what waking up means
it's what i am supposed to do

Jesus Christ, and I thought I had oneitis.

You have made me feel better, OP, because at least I'm not you.