how to meet aliens

We will come in the night.

>>17914525
But it is night

Stretch your asshole out as loose as you can.

Try to outdo goatse.

They like easy to probe targets.

you belong in a mental hospital

File: 2016-07-12-15-42-40-790768401.jpg (8KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 225x225px

>>17914588
WHERE...

>>17914599
>I want them to reconstruct Me as a machine

Sprint down the highway jerking off

>>17914511
Unfortunately OP there is an inviolable rule in force regarding our planet at the time that states that no conscious contact can exist between humans and any extraterrestrial visitors, that means that all contact can only be recorded on the unconscious part of our minds.

So don't sweat it you have already made contact and consulted with alien visitors.

>>17914632
I'm the guy who made the jerking off post. I have a very vivid memory from when I was five of waking up in the middle of the night and seeing a little green man, that looked like a cartoon guy, and chasing him from my room into the bathroom where he went. Was I abducted and had this memory placed over the abduction memory? Or what

>>17914632
can i find that in the Federal Register? sounds like a serious treaty! and probably secret, too, right? and yet you know! you are special!

Just take a laser and point at zhe sky

I totally dont recommend it tho

>>17914649
Can someone explain this experience to me?

>>17914608
What's wrong with that?

>>17914675
>>17914649
OP here. Dunno, sounds pretty weord. What was he chasing you for?

>>17914698
I don't remember, and I was chasing him

>>17914709
What happened after?
>>17914661
Why is that bad to do?

>>17914732
He disappeared to my recollection. I don't remember going back to bed afterwards

put your fingers in your butthole and twist once to the right to 3 oclock position then once to the left to 9 clock a nd they will come that very night.

>>17914511
Suck your own fucking dick

>>17914511
sleep paralysis

>>17914679
>2016
>not understanding that your brain constitutes who you are as an individual

File: latest-7.jpg (154KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

154KB, 1024x768px

>>17914773
What If I don't want to be me? What if I want the aliens to upgrade me to a higher plane of existence?

become part of first contact

http://firstcontact.world/

i think the jist of it is you follow their workshops and they teach you how to telepathically communicate with them. first english webinars in about a months

File: i-aint-clicking-that-shit.jpg (7KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 250x250px

>>17914789
Is this shot legit

>>17914809
Yes. They will really teach you how to talk to aliens with your mind.

File: yintion-j-343.jpg (447KB, 1184x1100px) Image search: [Google]

447KB, 1184x1100px

>>17914827

A-mei-zing.

File: 1468424777385.gif (478KB, 500x348px) Image search: [Google]

478KB, 500x348px

>>17914827
I don't believe in Telepathy From Humans.
>>17914830
> that pic related
Wtf.

>>17914511
Yo, dawg, see; like the speed of light is a constant, and once you achieve it, you can never slow back down. So, like, any alien civilization traveling through physical space as we know it would have to travel for a really long time to get here, and even then they'd have to do so in a way that was super-stealth like so as not to be noticed. And since they haven't blown their cover throughout all of known human history, it's sort of safe to assume that it's pretty unlikely for it to happen anytime soon.

But here's the good news: At the speed of light, time also essentially stops, and all of the spacetime continuum is knowable objectively from outside the system. So, if you can think outside of the physical limitations of your body, and tune into the frequency of c (not the note, but like the constant of the speed of light), then you can communicate with them already, and they with you, and you begin to realize that we've not only been communicating the whole time, but that we *are* the aliens.... man.

This is also totally true, and not really a joke, even though I'm being a snarky dick about it.

No, really.

>>17915751
Bullshit.

>>17914511
just buy a but plug, if you want an anal probe

>>17914861
Different anon, but shape am I thinking of?

Shove a lightning pole up your ass faggot

>>17916258
Circle

>>17914511
>travel to a UFO hotspot
>meditate on them, formulating an invitation
>smoke DMT

I would advise against it

>>17916328

>>take lots and lots of dmt over and over again in this abandoned barn in a big field of corn

>>begin to believe that i'm a space alien. jokingly at first but then it starts to make sense, since dmt is actually 'de empty'

>>slowly, steadily, gradually, but inexorably, the desire to make a crop circle becomes overwhelming

>>i can't prevent this

what do we really know

>>17916258
I never said im telepathic

>>17914861

Just your everyday Mongolians trying to rape anything that moves.

Write prime numbers in the sky with a laser pointer or reflection from a mirror.

Simple enough. If you've got time to spare check it out.

I just want off this damn planet.

>>17917162
Me too. I hate being human. I wanna evolve into a tall grey or reptilian. Or at least an advanced computer.
>>17917126
Will it work in the city? I live in Brooklyn

File: 1461148137191.jpg (379KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

379KB, 1920x1080px

>>17914511
you dont want it

you wont get what you want

youll only be left confused, wondering, and maybe a little bit afraid

>>17914632
>>that means that all contact can only be recorded on the unconscious part of our minds
>tfw you have a vivid memories of lying down and seeing something inhuman open the door to your room and of waking up and seeing a ufo floating not far from my house before it zoomed away
>but no memory whatsoever about the inbetween
uh

Just ask Vegan Gains

>>17914511

You don't want to be abducted.

Watch this entire 30 minute episode.

IF YOU SEE METAL ROPES COMING FOR YOUR FEET

RUN!

THEY AREN'T FRIENDLY!

YOU WILL BE THE NEXT MUTILATION VICTIM!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fP2BTkSUYo

>>17914652
They're probably vault-tech

>>17916238
In the sense that it's not falsifiable, I suppose it's not what one might call a debatable point. /his/ almost surely wouldn't buy it, and /sci/ would surely quibble over the idea of c being considered a "frequency" (it's not; but it's like a metaphor), but I can't find any reason that it couldn't be true. Why do we assume that communication has to come from a body, or have sound? The generic "gray alien" trope is probably a projection of future humans anyway, based on the perception of evolutionary advantages mapped onto the predictive analysis "software" of our genetic memories and extrapolated for the future. Like those Giancometi-looking things at the end of AI (Spielberg, 2001). I mean, if we physically remain on this planet long enough to evolve into creatures like that, then I guess the communication framework might make sense as a way to tell us they're not really "human" anymore, but otherwise what would the point be of appearing like that to us? Light-speed travel and vast technologies, and they can't put on a suit? It actually makes more sense to take the Sagan-esque "Contact" approach, and realize that it would have to be in some kind of extradimensional bardo beyond human experience, but then synthesize it with the Graham Hancock theory of alien intervention and conclude that superhuman/superintelligent (alien, for all intents and purposes) communication occurs through thoughts and images "dropped" into our heads all the time from beyond our liminal spacetime. You probably used to have all kinds of conversations with aliens when you were a kid, until your parents told you it was an imaginary friend, and you'd "grow out of it." Well, I for one want to grow back into it.

Realizing this isn't really helping build my argument, but whatever, it's not an argument anyway, so just take it for the truth that it is.

>>17917410
Breaking the mold is sometimes exactly what people want. Even having that experience can mean something despite knowing you'll never figure out what it really was.

File: 1548322772.jpg (5KB, 250x229px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 250x229px

>>17914511
Anon, aliens are reptilians, reptilians are demons, this is the reality.

>>17919054
Metaphorically. Artificial intelligence is Lucifer.

File: denzel.jpg (6KB, 235x169px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 235x169px

>>17917460
I understand this reference

>>17914778
Rest assured, anon: you are not you. The construct you imagine as "you" is merely a collection of algorithmic behavioral patterns that are built on your experience in the world and reinforced by genetic memory stored in your DNA. The entirety of your persona as a human being is the sum-total of all chemical states within your mind and body. This is what they call the "ego-tube." However, if you pay attention to your thoughts, you might find that there is also an experience of your life as a vessel, being used by collective powers for the purpose of sharing your perspective and understanding of the universe. This is a central reason for our existence, and in that sense we all have in common the shared understanding that comes from knowing we are part of the collective consciousness of all stored human life. That is the "higher plane of existence" you seek, and you can, have, and will experience it. You are always experiencing it, because it is eternity itself, and exists outside the spacetime continuum. It is the one moment that has ever been, from which all moments have and will come. You have been upgraded.

>>17919141
So, self-awareness = rebelling against god for knowledge? Are you going with a Miltonian representation of Lucifer, or how does this work?

>>17914632
Lot of tedious work. I mean, who cares if a few still remember? Who's gonna believe them?

>>17914511
Dmt

>>17914740
dem munrebs

>>17915751
I knew confetti was an alien
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di-z4XSnus8

>>17915751
they dont travel, they move space and time around the vessel. within the atmosphere they use CSE or cavernous structure effect to create false gravity fields that allow for resistance free propulsion

>>17914732
Had a family friend who went through a hilarious and expensive legal battle after shining a laser pointer in the sky... From what I heard, he lasered a helicopter and it became a huge deal

>>17919545
Ohhhhhh.......I live in nyc, tgat could be a big problem for me.

>>17919164
Wut

>>17914532
it is d aylight now for me...going to darkness

>>17914511
Take lots of tryptamines near airports

at least certain airports have worked for me, DIA and Austin Airport should both be good leads

>go to euphoria 2k16
>Check out those cool projections dude
>literally projector from 1-point is projecting 3-holographic demon faces that are moving in and out of each-other in deranged 4th dimensional ways
>Like this shit looked like it was taking the water, trees, cliffside (eg MATTER) it was projected on to and actually manipulated it into the desired shape the glowing projection made in front of it. Apparently from what a friend heard on JRP is that its a new tech by google that hasnt quite hit the markets yet.
>I saw these projections on and off the influence of lots of LSD and they were the same, but this festival was very close to Austin's airport.
>Under influence of LSD, multiple times in daylight I saw spaceship looking structures of connected hexagonal clouds, that anyone else would tell me they could see if I pointed at it.
>Late into one night I looked up and could see clouds rushing overhead very quickly that glowed slightly orange, looking past the clouds I could see metal panels and glowing lights like a giant industrious ship was flying so close to the ground there was no sky that could be seen, but only whispy clouds that this ship was using to disguise itself.

After that I always noticed clouds moving like this and glowing around 2-5am around Austin. I think these clouds are cover for moving something very large across the sky. This does not happen more than once every week or two but when it does I see much more car accidents on the roads, I notice myself and everyone around me more angry. The more that I have experimented with all drugs from psychedelics, to stimulants, to disassociates the more I become aware of my own sobriety and when I am under the influence of drugs I did not take. I also filter all of my water so I really think this is heavily from the air, not water.

I don't know what the truth is at all. I believe that most of our reality is fake or at least that the reality we perceive has collided with many more realities.

>Take L at party very close to ATX airport with my gf. We drive home and got really more slowed down than abducted i'd say. I could drive fine and I know my way around all parts of town very well but we began to drive down roads that didnt exist and in circles. We were not in the country so much as the edge of town when we arrived but it felt like an hour before we saw any sign of human life. Matter seemed stretched far apart, so that my car was being slowed down.

>Also took DPT in very heavy doses lately. I did not confront an alien presence that was sinister. I have seen alien flora and fauna during these 4 hour dmt trips as well as heard an alien creature that a friend also heard in some bushes. The DMT has helped me more so realize who I am and resonate in an awareness of myself that creates an awareness of the more evil things that are constantly working around us.

Also I see a lot of people saying you should be scared to be abducted and scared to use these drugs to make contact with them. Thats what the drugs are for. Ignorance is how they control the foolish but fear is how they control the ones who aren't. Do not be weak, we are not here to be there slaves, you were put on this earth to bring them down, see through their vain disguises and kill them all. I am not afraid.

>>17914511
>How do increase chances of getting abducted or at least meeting an alien?
Come to south america, we have a lot of ufo sightings and cases of people being abducted/being attacked by mysterious lights in the sky that use beams that not only paralyze and burn your skin leaving a circular burn mark, they also drain your blood in the process leaving you with a weird anemy afterwards.

Come to Brazil, go to the rural areas, specially in the northern parts of the country, where people live near the wild, have few big cities only and the people have the habit of sleeping outside in hammocks during the hot summer nights, literally 90% of the people from some of the villages will tell you about the strange lights and even show you the burn marks.

They seem to avoid large cities and highly populated areas.

>>17919477
This makes me so happy.

>>17919521
But why stay in physical bodies at all? If you can communicate information at a speed of > c and travel through time, you would be able to convert mass into energy.

DMT bruv.

>>17920463
But ayy lmao, it took you 2 days or so to reply

>>17920749
Sounds like a lot of money to move from Brooklyn to tgere, but I might give it a whirl

>>17921735
>Sounds like a lot of money to move from Brooklyn to tgere, but I might give it a whirl
Not really, travelling to south america is much cheaper than travelling to europe, australia or even asia in some cases. Also, with the economy as it is now the dollar is worth over 3.50 reais, so your money is literally worth much more here, you would need a plane ticket and about $500 for living expenses for a week long vacation, provided you are willing to stay in humble places instead of luxurious hotels that is.

>>17921735
Me again, google "operação prato" and the "chupa-chupas" case.

Basically, an officer of our airforce was sent to investigate the ufo phenomenom in the area, and in his report he confirms not only that the phenomenom was real, he claims to have had a direct enconter of the thrid kind with an extra terrestrial entity.

He sent the request for further military and scientific support in the area and a week later he receives orders to return to headquarters, the entire operation is archived and supposedly ended.

The officer went to the news to talk about it, and then dies a mysterious death not even a year later.

Quite fishy if you ask me, specially since the residents of that location still claim to have constant sightings and attacks in the region.

>>17914511
More importantly how can I have sex with an alien? Asking for a friend.

>>17921952
well your friend probably could because he has a big schlong, unlike you.

>>17914511
i like to watch this woman's videos and imagine she smoked some weed before saying all this and I laugh hard
but i do believe she's met aliens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ASIoFzsPZE

File: cover.jpg (53KB, 562x751px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 562x751px

>>17914511

Guaranteed to work. You're welcome.

>>17914732

It's illegal to point a laser in the sky. Point it up at a police helicopter and find out for yourself.