/x/ humor

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pls x explain pic related

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>>17910863

>>17910863
Ancient magic.

>>17910841
fucking lost holy shit

>>17910841
i think we have a winrar

>>17911255
qt

>>17911255
Queen of The Game!

>>17911255
tfw no grey gf

>>17910863
Editing.

>>17911825
Please tell me this is real...

>>17911844
I would watch every episode. Twice.

>>17911825
Someone needs to actually make a show like this. I would buy cable or netflix just to watch it.

>lol jk, I'll just pirate it like all the other jewish products

>>17911923
>>17911862

it is a webshow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlA09ZlKJHI

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>>17911261

>>17911966
Doing god's work.

>>17911966
kek

>>17910836

lol

>>17911255
Wait... so all this time I've been fappin to hentai, I've just been jerkin to the grays?!?!

>>17911413
this would be waaaaay funnier if the penis was actually a bone

>>17912469
But... It is?

>>17911987
good episode.

>>17911307
Was this the meme magic baneposting crash?

>>17912483
no, it's not, you fucking retard.

>>17912418
This is how they trick you into unwittingly participating in their cross-breeding program.

>>17910827
>>17912483
I think one person's referring to human anatomy while the other's referring to the video

>>17911277
Yes, it's normal

>>17913888
>getting alien pussy makes you a dupe
This is why everyone thinks /x/philes are paranoid retards. Kirk would be ashamed of you.

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>>17910827

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>>17913972

>>17911836
Einstein.

>>17910827
lol, nice try!

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>>17911966
>mfw they stole the ghost facers intro

>>17911255
I want to impregnate a grey

>>17912469
what?

>>17912469
>this would be waaaaay funnier if the penis was actually a bone
No it fucking wouldn't you autistic twat. How In anyway would it make it funnier? If anyhting it would be severely less funny

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>>17914090

>>17914306
>hypothetical reality where human penis has bone
>being able to judge the quality of humor in that world
Are you from that world anon? Do you have personal experience knowing how funny that joke is in the bony penis version of reality?

>>17910827
That one is a classic.

>>17910841
Oh god, losing this early lol. That's fucking brilliant.

>>17911862
I've actually wanted to make a webseries like that. Just taunting supposed spirits in an allegedly haunted location just to see what happens. For SCIENCE!

>>17911255
>you will never get probed by a qt grey alien

>>17911255
kawayylmao

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>>17913601
>mfw I read it as unforeseen consequences

>>17914641
jdimsa

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I've got a few

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/co/, but I guess it fits.

>>17915188
That's one sexy skeleton. 9/11 would grind bones again.

>>17912469
Do you have a double tipped dick?
It's a fucking bone you pleb

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>>17915188
>tfw no skeltal gf

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3llxWg7b7go

This is the worst creepy pasta I've ever heard.

>>17914090
/thread

>>17916260
guilty kek

>>17916260
Checkmate athiests

>>17916260
He's flying to heaven.

>>17916257
never understood this one
yes there is zero damage because he is a skeleton but so what?

>>17917092
He drank milk. Milk contains calcium. Calcium strengthens bones.
Do you understand?

>>17913972
Don't get it

>>17917458
Old gods babe

>>17917606
/x/ is shit 90% of the time, but when it's good, it's really good.

>>17914671
What!?Kek.

>>17917283
nah

>>17917092
>average /x/phile

>>17917626
Sound alot like...every other board here

>>17917606
kek

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>>17918162
>sweaty

every. fucking. time.

>>17911009
>>17911836
There are 2 kinds /x/ anon

>>17914657
Totes doing this next Dungeons dungeons and more dungeons
Game i play

>>17918309
1. Joker.
2. Troll.

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A modern classic.

>>17918555
every fucking time

>>17918584
every fucking

>>17910841
Is the owl supposed to be a reference to Moloch?

>>17911966
they need more subs

>>17910827
>17910827
We never been to the moon

>>17918555
>modern classic

Sorry, shitty forced memes don't count.

>>17914090
Kek

>>17917606
Thanks, doc

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>>17914635

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>>17913601

>>17914731
you've played way too much Half-Life, brother

>>17918841
There used to be cases of alien abduction where the victim would frequently see a single white owl staring at them in between abductions.

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>>17910863

>>17920035
>hair becomes shorter
Bullshit

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>>17914090
hueh

>>17920250
I know that image is just a joke, but what would happen if you attempted this? My sister said she saw a ghost of a woman at our house, and I've been thinking of doing this.

>>17920331
Unless you marry the ghost first, its a sin.

>>17914090

I don't have much experience with deal with entities but I've used informal speech when addressing entities almost exclusively.

I was being harassed by a malevolent enity so I started to put together an angel summoning spell to deal with it.

"RUN NIGGA RUN GET OUT BEFORE HE SHOWS UP OR YOU ARE GONNA GET FUCKED UP. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE"

Didn't even need to do the spell.
he fucked off.

>>17918162
Kek. I haven't seen this in a long fucking time.

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>>17919294

>>17920415
If you enjoy forced memes, I'm sure /b/ or /s4s/ would be happy to accommodate you.

>>17920419
Nah. Maybe you could head on to reddit with that smug, cunty attitude of yours.

>>17920331
You must appease the spirit with money, flowers, chocolates and other gifts and spend a lot of time with her, ask her out on a date, all of that in order to get consent out of her.
Then you just fuck it. It will feel really cool.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n5_zk-QWCw8

>>17920147
>Guy turns white.
Ths fuck even is this? Do people really think this is real?

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>>17911400

>>17919958

The owls are not what they seem

>>17920615
Pfffffftahahahahahahaha

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>>17911255

>>17912068
>>17912273
>>17911923
>>17911862
>>17911844
Episode two
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrG_wM4_dpo

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Alright so this happened to me when I was younger in my teens, I lived in this really old house that my dad made additions to. I remember for years I would hear sounds at night, things like footsteps, creaks, and moaning, but I always assumed it was people in my family in the night. Sometimes I would see a shadowy figure around, but once again I assumed it was just something else, like my sleep deprived mind playing tricks on me. (I routinely stayed up until 2 or 3 a.m. playing video games). Anyways one night its like around 5 a.m. and im just about to get a glass of water before I go to bed, then I see this pale girl in a dress. At first I think its one of my sisters trying to scare me, so I try to call her out on it, but I got no response the woman just stared at me, then I reasoned that I just had to go to bed, because im seeing things. Then she opened her mouth and let out a blood curdling scream, I was completely paralyzed with fear, then she approached me slowly, then she grabbed my arm and started pulling at me. At this point I dont even know what happened, whether it was pure animal instinct, or I was just a sexually deprived teenage boy. But I grabbed her and tore off her long dress and inserted myself in her. I dont even know how I maintained an erection, she felt as cold as ice but I kept going. She let me I dont think the spirit or whatever she was expected this. When I was done she looked at me with the saddest and most broken face ive ever seen in my life, then she vanished. To this day whenever I visit my home I think he still hear her, but instead the sound of footsteps, and the creaking of wood, I hear a soft crying, but the strangest thing is whenever I hear that tortured cry, my penis tingles in excitement. TL;DR: I raped a ghost.

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>>17911987
>>17911261

>>17920856
Wait a minute.......

>>17919294
>forced

>>17920926
It is. You can defend it all you want, but it is forced.

>>17917092
The carton says "x-tra cum".
The entire comic is actually a metaphor for coming to terms with and openly admitting to being homosexual.
Him being a skeleton is representative of that fact that we are all the same on the inside.

>>17917626
No, it isn't. it just seems that way because the baseline is so immensely low.
It used to be better.

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>>17920672
>cthozy
Lmao. Got me there.

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A gem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EU2AIxkxiwg

>>17920427
Not that anon and I definitely agree that this dumb faggot nigger >>17920419 needs to fuck off to reddit but that is a shitty pic >>17918555.

>>17915416
SO fucking gret.

>>17917283
kek

>>17921461
It's haunted by the Chinese child who died while making that cheap POS

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>>17915181
I kek'd

>>17919294
>>17920419
>>17921094
People making a joke in a thread =/= meme, you fucking summerfag. Every joke or greentext doesn't need to be called a meme.

>>17914090
I'm going to do this for real next weekend, will post results

Weird skelly so I guess /x/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uaPYI-0MVo

>>17922106
Her wrinkles on her forehead are disturbing.

>>17922075

> calls people summerfags

> is probably a summerfag

> gets upset because doesn't know how to meme

> ????

> profit

>>17920650
I've always wondered what was really going on in this pic.

>>17918555
all fucking

>>17922123
>Druids stop a car asking for help with their car
>do an incantation to steal the life energy from the car to transfer into their car
>doesn't work
>flag down another car
>ask to use cell to call AAA

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>>17916252

>>17913972
good one m8

thats pretty clever

>>17917283
very nice

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>>17914090
>spirits tend to avoid bitch ass niggas

>>17918555
i was there for this thread and it wasnt at all funny

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>>17922303

>>17922561
so what did you mean to say after fucking?

>>17922575
I dare you!
MIB

>>17917092
because milk is good for bones

>>17917092
Are you retarded?

>>17911966
my new fucking favourite thing to watch.

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>>17916259
My version of this painting

>>17917458

If you don't know who the Great Old Ones are... you're on the wrong board.

>>17918841

Owls have nothing to do with Moloch, you drooling fucking idiot.

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>>17919958

>>17923984
Why did you chose to drape him in red and give him a halo?
You some kinda religionfag?

>>17924246
>>17924253
What you mean to say is, prior to today, owls had no connection to Moloch.

>>17924270
probably just mexican

>>17924375
What's the difference?

>>17919551
It's one of the best games ever made

>>17918555
checked

>>17920856
I didn't ask for those feels, anon
[spoiler]I also didn't ask for this erection[/spoiler]

>>17924246
>>17924328
Bohemian Grove. He/she/it looks like an owl but in all reality it's an idol representing Moloch the bull, or the Devil himself. But what does Satan have to do with aliens?

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Oops.

>>17911255
You guys remember that anon that got molested by a grey

>>17918555
The fuckening

>>17921186
this of all things made me kek the most

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>>17923027
hmm

>>17924677
I RECOGNIZE THAT GAY BLOWJOB!

>>17918162
But who was hook?

>>17917626
I am only here because I have no where else to go.

>>17915448
I am Mexican and this is how we get tourists in Los Cabos and Cancun

>>17924677
I RECOGNIZE THAT GAY DOG ORGY!

>>17920638
is it because blackies are spooks

Anyone have the greentext of the guys friend who was being haunted who scared the shit out of the ghosts?

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>>17924909

>>17921194
It really did :c

>>17911838
Daww

>>17913880
kill yourself brutally you fucking moron

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Meanwhile in Eastern Europe...

>>17925687
>filename
>sides: orbital

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>>17924924
Must you guys keep circulating the crappy screencap? Delete that, save this.

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this makes more sense in the context of >>17925925

>>17925948
Never gets old. Should be in every summoning thread.

>>17925406
Fuck off back home to leddit.

>>17925925
>>17925929
Those laser pointers can actually cause anxiety on cats and dogs if you use them too often

They sell toys with LEDs on them so that they think they've finally catched the red dot and don't go crazy

>>17926273
Seems like a great sales pitch. I have no doubt endless gullible pet owners fall for it.

>>17926300
http://www.catster.com/lifestyle/cat-behaior-cats-laser-pointers-good-toys

http://www.petful.com/behaviors/why-do-cats-like-laser-pointers-so-much/

https://petcube.com/blog/is-it-bad-for-cats-to-play-with-laser-pointers/

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2011/11/28/laser-toys-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-part-3/


If I had any idea of where to look for veterinarian research papers I could just look it for it there.

Just take better care of your pets instead of assuming everyone is trying to rip you off

>>17926324
Some more trustworthy ones
http://www.vetstreet.com/dr-marty-becker/are-laser-pointer-toys-really-safe-for-my-cat

http://www.askavetquestion.com/answer_np.php?id=2903-laser-pointer-safe-for-cats

http://kerrvillevetclinic.com/are-laser-pointers-bad-for-my-pet/

http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2013/10/02/pet-laser-toys.aspx

>>17926324
I don't have any pets, man. But I'm glad you provided sources to back up your claims.

>>17926338
Sorry about getting hostile. I just know a few people who often downright ignore veterinarian advice in person, so that's quick to push my buttons

>>17926340
>I just know a few people who often downright ignore veterinarian advice in person
More like vegetarian advice you vegan fagggoooooootttt

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>>17910827

This guy's videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3Xf0T7I6KA

https://www.youtube.com/user/BUTCHYKID624/videos

He has gotten some really great mileage out of a bigfoot costume and a video camera

>>17918307
This one always confuses me. If he wants a drama-free relationship then why did he come to the show dressed as a skeleton?

>>17926531
>Oh ok sorry
This is almost as hilarious as "Thanks Mt. Dew!"

>>17922123
there was a victim in the trunk and i suppose you can guess what happened next

>>17918555
stupid as fuck

>>17922561
same. It's funny in retrospect and I think it stands as a screencap comp, but while I was in the thread I was barely paying attention to those posts.

>>17925687
COOL VIBRATIONS

>>17925955
why? its not even funny, the demons just a lazy selfish tit head like most people and not doing his fulfilled role. That demon should be unemployed.

>>17926950
:)

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>>17926977
Step 1: Make sure too have your dakimara handy and your dick out.
Step 2: Gather these ingredients, half a teaspoon of cinnamon, four heaping pounds of freshly ground plankton, and Joey from down the street. (Trust me even tho he's a dick you'll need him.)
Step 3: tale the four heaping grounds of freshly ground plankton and spread it out in an even pattern across the floor, (a pentagram is recommended bit you can do whatever shape you want, get creative! :) ).
Step 4: Now that the four heaping pounds of freshly ground plankton is in place, place the dakimara FACE UP in the four heaping pounds of freshly ground plankton.
Step 5: Next tell that douch Jerry to lay straddling on top of your dakimara. (Note, feelings of uncontrollable rage and the faint smell of tendies is normal when letting such a low class commoner such as Jerry touch your waifu in such indecent ways. Truste it's worth it.)
Step 6: Tell that faggot Jerry to open his mouth, this should stop him from speaking. Quickly shove all of the fucking cinnamon down his faggot throught so he can't speak, SUPER IMPOETANT.
STEP 7: While Jerry is crying in a puddle of his own tears quickly recite these exact words, "oh [insert waifu name here] come form in the form of flesh and accept this environmentaly healthy four heaping grounds of freshly ground plankton as a base. Also take this human sacrifice or whatever."
Step 8: a deamon should rise up out of the four heaping pounds of freshly ground plankton and ask you "what's good little nigga?" and assuming I calculated the inflation rate for hell, the four heaping pounds of freshly ground plankton and that choking faggot Jerry should suffice.
Step 9 THE HOME STRETCH: After the demon realises that he could use a boi-butt he'll take you up on your offer. He'll take fag butt-boi Jerry with him, who at this point should be unconscious due to the large amount of cinnamon in his throat. Bump that big niggas fist amd then say "west side till I die."

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>>17927142
This will seal the pact and allow you to finally have sex with you one and only waifu.
NOTE: The four heaping pounds of freshly ground plankton will stain any and all carpets, it is recommended by our panel of experts that you do the summoning on a hardwood floor or concrete. Jerry dose not actually have to be named Jerry, could be Philip or Tony, those have got it coming to.
PS: Waifu may suddenly melt into a vile black substance that consumes your very entity. The panel of experts agree that at this time you should tell the abomination that you actually need to to talk and that it would be best if you went your separate ways. The blob will cry and go to its mothers house, but you have to stay strong. Do it for her.

>>17926977
Fleshlight. :^)

>>17918841
its reference to an advertisement

>>17927142
>nuPPG
>in irredeemable
should atleast be normalfag

atleast

>>17926839
How do you know that?

>>17920909
Goofy episode, but that scene is perfect

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a really bizarre incident guys

>>17926862

great cinema is what you mean and really stupid appeals to plenty of people.

>>17926876
I hope he comes back with moral fiber

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>>17920856
>mfw he's able to lift curses with his penis

>>17911966
Holy shit this is great

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>>17911400
i was there when this was OC. now THAT'S spooky.

>>17920615
wow dude

>>17910827
>/x/ humor
>/x/

>>17920615
need milk to go to bed timmy?

>>17911987
scully was hottest in season 7 or 8

prove me wrong

>>17920682
is that where the voices come from

>>17915649
South Park

>>17927142
Could someone explain the bottom ones please?

>>17920461
God I remember this. It feels so long ago.

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>>17924718
Y-you what?

>>17920615
>Ths fuck even is this? Do people really think this is real?
do people even think other people think this is real?

>>17919549
>>/v/

>>17929435
that is so cute

>>17929776
Fuck off.

>>17929219
The entire response was to some one who said, "How do I summon a succubus to take my virginity :3?" And I guess the bottom post is what should happen if your waifu accidentally the whole melting thing.

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>>17911825

>>17925687
wait

where is this from? I live in EE, don't fuck with me.

>>17920856
good job lad
http://exhentai.org/g/753401/1aeff5affd/


>>17930093
it's Elkhorn, Wisconsin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tY-RXmqjsQs

>>17930293
Oh thank god.

You know, I may be yuropoor, but at least I don't need to bring guns to forest.

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>>17916259
soon, anon

>>17930676
Why does she have totties?

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>>17930707
her titties ass and legs are still attatched

>>17911844
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3gQlCVBkMA

it is so fucking real i cant even believe it

>>17917092
there is a skeleton inside u

>>17914090
even ghosts are scared of real G's

https://youtu.be/glOH45HZzQs?t=143

>>17929779
I just think that /x/-tan looks cute in that picture
What is wrong with that?

>>17927142
what's Suicide Mouse?

>>17930676
>>17930723
[spoiler]My bone is so hard right now, I can feel my base defenses rising.[/spoiler]

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>>17930928
>tfw spoiler doesn't work
Haha, oops~
But seriously, 2hot4life

Careful: spook alert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9_JCTCdD8E

>>17931026
holy shit, that was fantastic.

>>17930932
I fully understand anon
The game's monster girl gamu if you're interested, there's an alpha out for it

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>>17910841

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>>17911255
>>>17911268 >>17911283 >>17911323 >>17912418 >>17914260 >>17914641 >>17914724 >>17920705 >>17924510

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>>17911255
>>17911323
>>17912418
>>17914260
>>17914641

>>17911255
>anim-ayy.jpg

>>17913648
yep, there's screencaps of it around, shouldn't be too hard to find.

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>>17911413
>>17912469

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>>17915188

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>>17930918
>/x/
>not knowing about classic, meemee-status creepypastas

>>17931707
no wonder asians have no dicks

>>17917092
Think it's a /tg/ joke - D&D skeletons have pierce/slash damage resistance, or some shit.

>>17926273
Yeeeah, no. My cat would actually pick up the laser pointer by its key chain and bring it to me. Little fucker knew what was up, just loved it.

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>>17910827

>>17930460
Fair enough. You need to bring guns everywhere over here.

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>>17925687

>>17931913
Drinking milk strengthens your bones. Skeletons are made of bone.

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>>17931004
>we were so hungry, so we ran into the kitchen

Every time I read it gets funnier

>>17915188
undertale.jpg

>>17931004
This is the stupidest story ever.

I fucking love it unconditionally.

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>>17924747
That is because you are exactly where you are supposed to be,

>>17919826

Fucking kek

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>>17932584
for you, then

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>>17931026

>>17911838
Kek.
Thats a good one.

File: quimareabduction.jpg (103KB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

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>>17910827

>>17932609
>That moose count story.
Wha...
What???

>>17913888
Some where out there are half human half gray beings that look like anime characters

>>17914377
"Every bone in their crotches, that's what I am going to break." - Jeremy Clarkson

>>17932645
I guess it was a just a joke on the "headline" in the MacDonald's story. honest it's been a while since I even read the moose part. I will later, I don't remember atm that there was anything significant about it.

>>17921461
he just wanted to shake his booty

>>17930293
>Wisconsin
fuck

>>17916254
lmao

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>>17927142
>just look at this smug fucker
I want those deleted scenes.

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>>17927142
>>17927154
>Summoning general in a nut shell.
Also requesting cap, this pretty funny.

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>>17933000
>>17934000
What does it mean?

>>17921461
GET OUT NOW!!!

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>>17924485
>it only looks like an owl... but it's really Moloch! Honest!

Brilliant deduction, Holmes! How ever do you do it?!

>>17932629

> Recently dead
> 'Tis my first spook
> Try to learn about humans as they taught me in the spook school
> Not a skeleton.
> 'It'll be tough'.
> Visit tumblr and learn about gross and unhealthy ways of humans.
> Decide to give my first spook.
> Fat americans get into my house.
> Decide the worst based on my experience.
> Almost healthy thing that's not butter.
> Do some shaky thingy and put butter outside house.

Two weeks later

> It works
> I got a job as professional spooper and mad ghost pussy.

Fucking americans, smgh