Very Short Story Question

>>17845997
Well it can't be any worse than you making a thread asking instead of checking the fucking board rules, summerfag.

>>17846053
This

>>17846053
>>17846070
I didn't see anything mentions it in the rules, which I assume you mean the dump that's stickied. So I figured what's the harm in asking a simple question. There's no need to be an ass

>>17845997
Yes, you are allowed to post your creepypasta and/or short fiction. Just don't expect the feedback will be gentle or consistent.

>>17846100
No, you fucking autist. The rules are linked at good old 4chan.org.

Don't just go and post things. Lurk MOAR and see how things work.

>>17845997
Honestly am im not joking reddit is better for feedback but i do want to know what you wrote. Care to share im wiriting something similiar too even though its on a bigger scale.

>>17845997
Go ahead my dude, I'll read it. I mean if we can have greentext threads why cant we have OC creepypasta threads? Please post my man

>>17845997
Are you going to post op?

>>17845997
Nigger are you going to post or what?

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Okay here goes:


It was like a tentacled monster from outer-space, or perhaps the bottom of the sea. It spoke in weird vowel-free syllables that were non-Euclidean. It filled me with existential dread, like a book full of evil from a cave in Saudi Arabia. Why was my neighborhood going to hell?


So what do you think?

>>17846399
>Why was my neighborhood going to hell?

Lovecraft was an atheist dipshit.

>>17846407
>Lovecraft was an atheist dipshit.

Calling Lovecraft an atheist dipshit is redundant.

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>>17846399

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>>17846399
>Why was my neighborhood going to hell?

Fucking keked my shit off

(if you dont get it lovecraft was racist as fuck)

>>17846548
>lovecraft was racist
so?

>>17846570
It's amazing how dense you are.

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>>17846570
Jesus christ man

>>17846548
>lovecraft was racist

My respect for him has just skyrocketed.

>>17846548
I feel like there's a severe lack of a joke here and you just want to feel like you get something other people don't, elaborate.

>>17846636
"There goes the neighborhood" is usually said when black people move in.

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>>17846583
>>17846601
>he doesnt care that someone is racist!
>hes so stupid

>>17846338
>>17846265
>>17846260
>>17846206
My bad, fell asleep before I could post.

I was in complete darkness, no, I was in nothingness. I was surrounded by nothing, I stood on nothing, yet I did not fall, I did not sink, I simply stayed. I tried to walk forward and nothing changed. I tried to yell out, yet I heard nothing. I could not hear, nor smell, nor taste anything. All I could do was see my arms and legs, and a figure that rose from the nothingness in front of me. It had no form, yet it had many. It appeared to be made of liquid, yet held its shape in the air. It twisted and moved, as if flowing within itself. It had something that looked to be skin, which writhed and churned, going in and out of its body. I could see eyes, a tongue, blood, and bones moving with the skin-like liquid. As I stated at it, it began to speak in some ancient tongue which I could not understand. It's voice, deep and booming, came from everywhere yet nowhere. As it spoke I thought back on why this had happened, why I opened the door I found hidden behind the old wallpaper of the bathroom, why I went down the stairs behind it, why I touched the altar which cut my hand just deep enough to get a drop of blood in the stained bowl beneath it, and why I slept within this house, my house this night. It stopped speaking and began to shake, until sinking into the nothing and disappearing. When it was gone I immediately felt exhausted, both physically and mentally. I lied down on nothing and, as I drifted into sleep, I felt myself sink. I awoke with a jolt and wrote this down as soon as I could. I don't know what I witnessed, what that place was, what that thing was, what it told me, or why I now feel as though there is a weight within my own head, but I know that I have experienced true evil, and may God have mercy upon my soul.

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>asking permission to shit in a cesspool
Just proceed :^)

>>17847290
I think that the contradictions don't add to your story. "I saw it.... BUT I DIDN'T!!!" doesn't give the reader any idea what you're going through. It adds empty sophistication to your writing.
Also, just hinting at a backstory does not make the reader know why you did anything. Why the FUCK would you go through the door? Because you said you would? What is the altar shaped like? How could it cut you?
You need to put more time and effort into it, desu. You're cutting corners.

>>17847318
Alright, this was my first time writing something just for myself and without any specific direction while waiting for my bus to get to my stop. Thanks for the advice though my man.

>>17846848
Are you seriously this fucking retarded my man? I also don't give a fuck if Lovecraft is racist or not.But you dense fucks still can'T get the joke jesus fucking christ.

This thread has sent my sides to orbit