how do i become a illuminati

First step, learn to write proper English.

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>>17801105
Be filthy rich, uber smart or otherwise have a skill (or possession) that they require. It is likely that you are just another automaton that they could not care less about.

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Contact these people, Sam failed the test.

>>17801105
Give up your light, become a vampire, do as they tell you. Thats it.

>>17802010
Why's Mr Crowley got such a red face there lol..

Congratulations.

Please await further instructions.

ἑkας, ἑkας, ἐστε βεβηλοι

promote globalism, open borders and free trade for all

>>17802032
There ain't nothing free about globalism.

>>17802046
the price we pay keeps keeps getting higher. this is the cost of technological progress and overpopulation. I'm sure the Illuminati have some plans to eradicate more humans, but that wont happen until robots take over and we are useless as workers

>>17802055
Ah yes, "overpopulation".

>>17801105
Illuminati.am

Visit illuminati dot am

>>17802058
doens't matter if you believe it or not. just like satan or communism. it only matters if the elite believe it, because they set the agenda

>>17802066
Lol. Bullshit site. To answer your question OP, you don't want to. Trust me. The illuminati is no joke.

>Decide your method of joining.
>Do well in decided method.
>Research common handsignals and flags
>Find someone within your clic that shows signs.
>Post your own sign to them
>Get invitation
>------------------------------------------------------------------
>Welcome to the rabbit hole.

>>17802016
THEY'RE LYING
ILLUMATE EXPOSED

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>>17802023
Failed expedition to climb K-2 in 1902. Serious snow blind sun burn as I recall. I could be very wrong. (Or maybe he really was the devil?)

Yell WoOoooOo at the top of your lungs for as long as you can.

As the Official Pope of The Great Illuminated Church of Discord, I grant you the Rank of Official Pope of the Great Illuminated Church of Discord.
And So, You are now an Illuminati.

Please, come by at...
http://principiadiscordia.com/

>>17804394
Hail Eris

>>17804421
And so, Walt Disney is God, My friend!

>>17801105
Ask a Freemason.

>>17804454
>>17804454
you're waaaaaay off the track, man.

>>17804439
That must be why he speaks to me.
I keep getting told to let it go

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>>17804439 >>17804463 No! Had you paid attention you would know that the Galactic Archives clearly state that Mickey Mouse was the primary Deity of UniStat.

>>17801105
Man the gloryhole at the nearest truckstop and wait for further instructions, acolyte.

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>>17801105
To become illuminati and be enlightened one must only know about humanity and earth.

Look at, listen to and read everything here while realizing it is the absolute truth.

http://www.kelownasucks.com

Think about the information enough and you will understand the true nature of the force that influences everyone... That being a revolting creep.

Now go about your life knowing that every minute of your existence is like having an invisible clown fingering your asshole.

>>17804394
hey anon, can you make me pope too?
thanks bro!

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>>17802032
>globalism
>free trade

>>17802024
>ἑkας, ἑkας, ἐστε βεβηλοι
Translates to: vote, vote, Trump 2016

Isn't the entire purpose and origin of the Illuminati to seek the path of knowledge (conspiracy aside)? If there is a secret organization hidden in secrecy and guarded in money, what do you think getting into said society would entail? Humor that. Do you think there's a secret pass phrase you whisper to a guilded petrified asshole on Vesuvius? And they just go, "oh hey man cool welcome to the naughty 'nati pad son". Your character, personal achievement, general success and failure in self optimization, that's all secondary to any sort of instant short cut you could use to bipass any and all hard work? And that if there was a short cut, all you'd have to do is monitor a Japanese image board while you sit on your slightly overweight ass, eating your genetically modified meat pillows and vegetable replica? That and, let's say you do get into illermanooti, what then? You get a mansion and some bitches? Don't you think that if you were given admittance, you'd be given some sort of high power position to hold, even on a small scale? Nothing is free, you'd have to earn your keep. Even if you were just a secretary's secretary's secretary, you'd still have large amounts of time and hard work you'd be putting into this organization or cult or circle jerk or whatever. What I mean is, if you're too lazy to use proper grammar, why do you think anyone cares that you're alive let alone let you into the most powerful society in the world just cause. My nigga nah.

>>17805622
Sure. Here you go!
93 on 17805622! NEMA!

Sign up form is here: https://www.illuminatiofficial.org/join-the-illuminati-members/

You're welcome.

>>17801105
>Tfw I am not a illuminati

Not sure if trolling or not. Read some RAW and you will get invited

>>17804394
bullshit you're not the pope. I'm the pope. Here listen to my holy decree

https://youtu.be/dnGyGzwPxdw?t=4m29s

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>>17806673
Ive been a member for over a year