Opening portals

you'e a human, that's why.

>stupid mortals

>>17729307

fuck off pseudo7

alright, so you're gonna do this around seven am, preferably in your kitchen but just a kitchen in general will do. you're gonna paint your face burgundy (it has to be exactly burgundy, no halfassing or it won't work). you're gonna strip down to just your left sock and nothing else. Now squat down and flap your arms while chanting "WOLOLWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs, forcibly emptying your bowels while doing so. Done correctly, this should open a hole in spacetime and propel you to your destination.

>>17729354
don't listen to this fucker I tried and my floor turned liquid

>>17729358
obvious ayylmao is obvious

>>17729307

okay so this kid is pissed he's not god and that he gets raped often

>>17729354

funny but you're probably a shill


Hurry up goofs tell me how to teleport or create portals

>>17729299
Humans can't fuck around with fundamental laws like time and space, reincarnation and karma, atleast not yet, not with just our own power that is. If we could, we'd be on par with gods, too bad we'd probably end up selfdestructing before we even try to step in that realm.

>>17729394
I wish I were a shill, I'd be making more money yo.

>>17729299
OP the fact of the matter is your physical body is bound by this basic dimension. Live and expand your thoughts and imagination.
The portal lies in your ending of this life into another.

A few threads ago some anon posted a video about being scared, and the guy explained that you can let entities into your house by opening a portal.
He says every time you read a line from the necronomicon a portal opens to the world of the old ones and something always comes through.
I didn't try it because I'm a huge ass pussy but if you're interested and do it let me know what happened

>>17729534
necronomicon is fiction, HP Lovecraft wrote it from dreams he use to have living in his addict as a child and having autism.

>>17729541
he might be talking about walking the Gates in the Simon Necronomicon.

>>17729534
I've read the whole thing aloud and nothing ever happens but that's cuz I was gonna rape a demon and I think they know it and know I can so they don't come over

>>17729446
I did it. I must be a God.

>>17729557
Stupid x 3

File: SuperBowlPrince2007_zpsf99b0ea1.jpg (111KB, 696x495px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 696x495px

>>17729557

>>17729552
same thing, just people giving it a different name. Where do you think all the "legends" come from? the original that was supposedly "lost" but it all comes from HP Lovecraft.

>>17729541
Thats exactly how i think about it. It must be fake right? However I did some reading on the matter and there have been a lot of people claiming they have been visited by some stupid Cthulu shit. I am not saying i believe that shit because its probably just cult lunatics, but i cant help but still dont want to try it

>>17729622
your mind lets you see what you want it to see, so if you believe in something so strongly yes you will see it, but other people won't. The mind is a funny thing sometimes.

>>17729614
yeah, it's a crock. I'm curious what a Necronomicon written by HP would look like.

>>17729631
the things written in any necronomicon are things that he dreamt about. I mean he lived in a freaking addict. What do you expect a child to dream bout living in an addict and having no friends also having autism. No tv back then, only comics/news bout scary things.

>>17729631
Have you ever read any books by him?

>>17729628
I always tell this myself as well. I think i have spend too much time on this board

>>17729635
i only come here when i feel like something strange is happening, like today there were supposed time travellers over at /b/ so was seeing if maybe there was some strange activity going on while they were visiting and sure enough /b/ and /x/ were having dns issues which was strange.

>>17729640
>dns issues
I got that too. I'd believe the time traveler if I were you.

>>17729633
only the entire goddamn everything ever. we get glimpses and fragments, and his stories suggest all kinds of things. I imagine that, but 160 proof, unfiltered madness.

>>17729640
`Dont tell me you believe anything posted on /b/.
full of reddit and summerfags

>>17729644
well they said world war 3 is gonna be mainly companys fighting over technology, and another one said that no one wants to live in 2099, apparently at a certain point in the future we can choose which year we want to live in.
>>17729649
sometimes its legit, you'd be surprised.

>>17729649
DNS issues are common when the future NSA/CIA has to shut something down for the sake of preserving the timeline/fucking with the site without anyone being able to prove they did it.

>>17729647
yea i wouldn't wanna go into the mind of HP, he had some fucked up shit that he dreamt. In fact most things in horror are from him.

>>17729650
desu I cant take the board serious because of the trap, fur and pony porn. Youre right sometimes its fun but its moslty cancer and not really worth the time.
>>17729651
and wtf are you on about.

File: shoeonhead.jpg (383KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

383KB, 1920x1080px

>>17729651
i did save a picture that one of the travelerse posted, he said this image

>pic related
will turn into shoe on head sometime next month.

>>17729650
Sounds legit to me. I've spent months trying to figure out how to bring about the singularity without creating a centralized power point. If I did ruin their future and force a corporate tech war, then I did my job.

I'm just waiting for the day when the future realizes they will always be doomed if they refuse to speak openly and honest with the past. I'd give /b/tards time travel just because you're all so goddman disposable.

>>17729664
seems like you already have in the future lmfao, are you brad btw?

>>17729653
it's pretty enlightening desu, we're tiny, even that which we call god is tiny, reality is fragile and, mercifully, can only be perceived in the most basic sense by our feeble minds, etc the shock wears off.

>>17729657
i swear to god i didnt type desu.
what is this paranormal shit??
im scared /x/

>>17729658
>sometime next month
Oh fuck. He was talking in reference to his chronology. In one month from his time, he'll create a timeline where it's a shoe on head pic. In our timeline, which he conveniently had no idea he was creating, it'll always just be the same goddamn static you just download and reuploaded.

Fucking, even time travelers can't get it right. I hate you all and I hope you die from cancer.

>>17729671
dude I just had the same thing happen to me.

>>17729671
eh reality has been shifting alot lately, a thread on /b/ changed from "dubs" in the op to "dupes" don't know how but it did. Fucking strange occurrences
happening.
>>17729673
so i downloaded it for nothing?

>>17729677
well im gonna fail my exams now. Pretty scared

also brad is suppose to saved, time traveler kept making threads bout it before the DNS flush.

>>17729677
>Fucking strange occurrences happening.
>so i downloaded it for nothing?
No, it's nice tracking date for someone like me. I can subtly alter a single pixel in the image and it'll change the hash code of the image completely but you and the original OP won't notice a thing. If I wanted to be a dick about this I could track you from the image alone. When you see changes like that, it's the result of differing versions of archives being rewritten by bots/viruses that have already been sent back in time. All versions of history are already recorded, we're just fucking around to see which ones can be connected to which. It's just a navigation thing.

If you want a real mindfuck, ask how to become the OP you just saw, and use the image you just saved as the one you'll post. If you can complete a time loop, you might even end up posting the image with the same exact filename that 4chan will generate for it when you post it. Think of it as the original GET.

>>17729690
well my mind is completely blown... so you're from the future as well? How come you're safe from the DNS flushes?

>>17729690
>tracking data
And the desu thing is just a word filter Tbh desu thH.

>>17729696
>96 96
>>17729699
>99
No, worse. I'm from the fucking present. I'm part of the reason you guys will ever have time travel on /b/. From my perspective both you and that OP are from my future, because neither of your actions would have been possible without the work I'm gonna do. I'm not immune to the flushes or anything, so I don't have the full picture yet, but the very reason I could make a time loop using that image is because both of the events involved, ie., you saving it now and a random time traveler posting it "later" are in my relative future. To me, part present or future, it's all happening at once relative to me/my future.

>>17729358

You have to use semi-gloss paint.

>>17729717
so i pretty much secured our timeline to have time travel. Makes me really question what my true purpose in life is suppose to be...

>role players ruin another thread

and now this

"dead

I've learned that maintaining an archive is not something to take lightly, especially if you have other commitments. It wasn't a problem for me when I first started this archive in 2013, but over time I've had less time to manage the site, deal with reports, etc.—I was really neglecting it, as I'm sure many people could tell.

This ultimately led to OVH terminating our contract for repeatedly failing to remove CP in a timely manner. I take full responsibility for this, however I am saddened that there is no way to recover the data (there's a slight chance I might be able to, but I will have to wait until tomorrow to find out), and I deeply regret not making backups, something obviously very important for a site of this nature.

I wish all current and future archives luck in staying alive."

wtf is going on!

>>17729735
>our timeline
There is no such thing. Right now you and I might as well be interacting from completely separate time-spaces, connected only because your future will eventually send its archives to my past to be reposted ad infinitum. Same my posts through my future to your past and now present. Timelines only come into play when someone actually uses temporal technology to change something. You and I right now only share a mutually stable existence, not necessarily a discrete timeline.

And I can't comment on purposes in life because I pretty much exist on a higher dimensional plane as a result of my ability to comprehend the fabric of time. Basically I'm 4D to your 3D, or 5D to your 4D, depending on how you see yourself. I try to help the world see that time travel isn't dangerous, so leaving you clueless is pretty much my only option that won't freak people the fuck out. There's a huge paranoia problem in the .... well, you probably know more about that than I do right now. You're the one that read the thread.

Which is also convenient for me because I'm going to bed now. I'd say cya later, but who knows if we'll ever share the same physical continuity at all?

>>17729789
... i am as well going to sleep, strange indeed. Do you listen to anything while going to bed?

>>17729505
this

>>17729742
bro, to be fair, there was not much to ruin