I want to make a deal.

>>17664878
Also, I don't mind committing acts that you would consider 'immoral' or 'cruel' as long as I can be assured that I won't be 'doing time' in this life. That would defeat the point of keeping my family out of it.

>>17664878
Work to raise the capital to start your own business be smart about it plan things out thoroughly, think about every single detail and go for it.

The selling your soul part is when you dedicate 100% of your life to doing the aforementioned, including time spent with friends, time spent with family, time playing video games, any form of distraction. And there you go.

>>17664878
Reduce your expenses & put 30% of your income in savings. You may also invest a portion of that into passively managed indexed funds.

Wake up at the same time every day, watch what you eat, and start exercising. If you're unfit, I recommend starting with walking or swimming. From there you can start to build into calisthenics or running or something else you enjoy.

The deal is you need to keep at it.

>>17664886
>>17664889
If I had any resources I would have already started in on that. I have little time and the time I do have I can't find a job because of the constraints on my schedule.
I truly, honestly, want to make a deal with a devil. My son deserves a father who is more 'capable' and I want a better life and a better home.

>>17664886
here.
>>17664889
Putting 30% into savings is tough out here in Cali. Federal tax and state tax will leave you at 47 if you're on a steady 65..

Everything else I completely agree.

How old are you? you have experience with managing you money etc? I'm a soon to graduate engineer and some advice in regards to managing my money would be very helpful.

>>17664903
The thing is, it doesn't work like that. The only thing making a deal with the devil would help you in is having more confidence in yourself to go out there and do what you have to, to get a job or some side business deals to make money. Maybe some marginal good luck if anything, but money won't fall from the sky to your lap.

What constraints do you have on your schedule?

Too close for your comfort.
Have a seat.

>>17664916
on a normal day I have from 5:30 pm till 6 am the next day (the amount of time I'm not taking care of my very young child).
>>17664908
My best advice,from my experience, is avoid debt at almost all costs. It's fine to carefully manage a credit account to build your credit score but be intensely careful. Other than that, never spend money on anything that wont make you money, if you can possible help it and on the very note avoid having dependents until you are well into your fortune and have someone to watch them for extended periods of time.
>>17664924
>inb4 rp
I have no interest in games. If a demon is actually reading this I give them permission to come onto my property to notify me of their presence.

>>17664935
Oh, to be clear I have to sleep during that time too. I live in a small town and don't have transportation.

>>17664935
What you need is someone to help you take care of your very young child. Tell them you'll get a job so you'll be able to shoot them money as soon as the check comes.

Yeah having babies is surely expensive, staying away from that until i'm set. I'm paranoid about it almost, never have sex without a condom although everyone says without is way better, fuck it i'll wait.
The don't spend money on things that won't produce money for you is hard, although I won't to continue to grow financially etc. I also want to treat myself to a nice ride and a moderately nice apt. Without going into debt though of course.

>>17664878
Well if anyone knows of anything that will get me a deal, I'll be watching for the rest of the night.
>>17664953
As you might guess from me being an x-phile, I'm too paranoid for that.

File: 1462574566255.jpg (38KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 600x450px

I know of a contract with evil ARMED FORCES that will force you to lose your soul and put you in horrifying pain in return for petty cash ; but I refuse to tell you where to find such recruiters. Odds are, they have already found you. #YVANehtnioJ

I only know how to sell ur soul to the devil in exchange for fame and mad guitar skillz
I can proceed if u wish

>>17665007
I stated exactly what I want. I don't have time to 'widdly widdly wah' for pocket change.

>>17665007
What will he trade for harvested organs ? I am fresh out of souls.

I'm not OP but I'm willing to sell my soul to die tonight, calmly and peacefully, without having to commit suicide.

anybody able to do that for me? I'm a societal leech on SSI and I have no prospects. I won't be missed.

>>17665053
He only takes souls

>>17665074
Sign me up, senpai.

I'm >>17665063

I have no guitar experience. Seems worth a shot.

>>17665063
I can probably help you with that, I'm in the same boat but I've been cursed as an "intermediary" between this world and the next for those who would rather not go on living.

Most suicidal people who reach out to me for help end up dying within a few months unintentionally, from car crashes to blood clots. I can't guarantee it will work, I'm not really sure exactly what the deal is. All I know is that I've had a lot of people talk to me, feeling exactly how you feel, and a lot of them end up passing within a few months after opening up to me.

The thing that sucks about it is that I feel the exact same way you do, regardless of my external situation.

Also, once I put my energy into this, your fate may be sealed. I've had people "get better" and say their life is going great, and then they die unexpectedly shortly afterwards.

If you're ready, just reply to me with three things:

1) The last thought you remember having before falling asleep last night
2) The first thought you remember having upon waking up
3) You're in a dark and dusty room. There is a small window on one of the walls. What color is the light coming through the window?

>>17665053
Still not playing Dark Souls? Move your ass and start grinding!

>>17664903
>I can't find a job because of the constraints on my schedule
That's where the 100% of your dedication needs to come from. The only way you will get wealth and health is to sacrifice the time you spend with your family and friends. For wealth you need to immerse yourself into a job or work, spend all your time focusing on first obtaining a job, then promoting within. Typically the sacrifice to this is your health by working long stressful hours, but you are also asking for health. Therefore you will need to sacrifice family and relationships for both. You can't have all.

Also the devil won't make that deal, as you already self admitted your soul is likely bound for darker places. Why overpay for something he can get at a discounted price?

>>17667291
I should add, if you want a windfall of wealth but are willing to sacrifice both relationships and health I advise working in the oil fields.

You can easily make upwards of 150k-200k if you are willing to sacrifice your body and any meaningful relationships. Just use that money for something worthwhile like your young child. I've seen too many people blow it all on vices and now they have no health, relationships, and the wealth they originally set out for.

>>17664878
who handshakes with ISIS's hand?

>>17665063

I have a better idea. You're already ready to give up your soul, which is a big deal in itself. But the issues that make you want to die are not the real reason you want to die.

It's how you feel inside. I suggest giving your soul to a succubus, once owned by her she can turn off your negative feelings and you will see everything as if it was positive and you will not even remember what the suicidal feeling was like.

I'm saying succubus because while they can be real bitches they are always cheerful and they don't like people who are in a bad mood. Anyone they control, they make them cheerful too.

Now you may still die, that depends on how your situation looks, it's just not 100%