Conspiracies

all conspiracies are diversions.
while you shit heads are looking for illuminati, construction contractors and council members are just lining their own pockets with cash

>>17639406
Can somebody post the murals, I have a cool theory about them.

>>17639558
So like an x files situation?

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>>17639656

>>17639406

heres my 2_spoopy conspiracy theory on the durnvur urpurt

>build a giant weird fucking thing
>don't explain it
>people talk about it
>free promotion
>profit

Mystery solved you cunts.

Young Thug is part of an illuminati ploy to emasculate hip hop culture

>>17639707

Who's a part of what to do what?

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snopes creates a lot of those chain emails themselves, so they'll always have stuff to write about

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Pandas are humans trapped on the inside. Their eyes are a little too intelligent.

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Jimmy Carter is a synthetic person made from cow parts from cattle mutilations.

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Women's magazines like Cosmo are deliberately giving bad relationship advice to their readers so their readers will spend more time looking for a new relationship - and thus spend more money on clothes, cosmetics, and other advertised products.

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The Smurfs are actually Klansmen: they're blue (blue-collar) men under white caps, their leader (Papa Smurf) wears a red cap like KKK leaders. The only woman in their community is Smurfette, whose blonde hair and blue eyes correspond with the white supremacist ideal. Moreover, the Smurfs' worst enemy is Gargamel, a powerful man with a crooked nose, i.e. the Jewish stereotype. Also, Gargamel's cat is called Azrael, which sounds a bit like "Israel". (Granted, Azrael is a religious figure in his own right.)

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Hitler was actually the only person to perfect time travel and lived in a post-apocalyptic world run solely by the Jewish dictators and monarchs which have enslaved the rest of humanity because of their greed and wealth. He went back in time on a mission because Germany was essentially ground zero for where the Jewish regime began it's rise against the free world. He saved us all from their tyranny and at the same time looks like the worst, evil, dictatorial mastermind the world ever knew.

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High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP). There's a government facility in Alaska that can control the ionosphere and therefore alter the weather and the Earth's magnetic field. Many conspiracy theorists claim HAARP is was what brought down the Columbia Space Shuttle and TWA flight 800. Former Governor, and blockbuster action hero, Jesse Ventura, requested a visit to investigate HAARP but was denied. His crew showed up anyways and was still denied.

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everyone in the world is a robot that only comes to life when you walk into the room

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>>17641236
A true martyr.

Mine is pretty far fetched, but I believe that 9/11 was orchestrated by radical jihadists and it was not surprising that the towers fell under their own immense mass, from the heat from the burning jet fuel, and from the force of impact of a fucking plane.

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I think Christopher Reeves was assassinated. Millionaire, leading the world in stem cell research and then dies from bed sores, wtf really? Then stem cell research comes to a grinding halt, coincidence?

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You only need one alkaseltzer tab in your water. One day an ad man decided to show 2 in their ad and doubled their sales.

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John titor, the time traveller from the year 2036. He came back to the 1970s to find a special PC. He then travelled to 2001 for family reasons, where he answered questions on a several message boards for a while. Many people think him a fake, but it's a fascinating story, and many predictions e made came true. However many didn't, including a huge civil war in the USA and WW3. This was explained to be the 2% divergence from his timeline that he travelled from.

>>17641574


Maybe USA Civil War and WW3 were stopped by another time traveller, remember the theory says he isn't the only time-traveller.

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Eminem died in 2006 and the current one is an imposter.

>>17641596
Just like Paul Macartney, Miley Cyrus?

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Phantom time hypothesis. The idea is that the early Middle Ages never happened and that we're actually living in the 1700's.

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LBJ hired Oswald to kill Kennedy, but they saved his brain and implanted it in the body of a disabled black man. He lives in a retirement home with also-still-living Elvis Presley who pretended to be an Elvis Presley impersonator to escape the fame. They fight mummies in their spare time.

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>>17641651
Jackie did it. The missing frames from the Zapruder film are Jackie pulling a handgun out of her handbag and shooting him in the head.

>>17639406
>It is a /comfy/ Friday and it is time to share our favorite conspiracies. I will start with the Denver airport.

I went back in time and scared your dad right at the moment he jizzed, so a different sperm fertilized your mom's ova, and the real you doesn't exist.

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The Chinese send citizens over to the United States to intentionally drive slowly in order to make people late to work to slow our economy.

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Obama's oldest daughter is actually George Bush.

>>17639406

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOQsvOkkLq4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuITS87dOx4

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Crab people will team up with the prawns.

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There used to be cures to diseases, the goal was you research to find a drug or a vaccine that will cure the disease.
These days, that happens more rarely. The focus is to develop maintenance. Drugs which do not cure the disease, but maintain it, leaving the patient to take those usually expensive drugs for the rest of their lives, never to be cured. Curing a disease is not profitable, maintaining one is extremely profitable.

>>17641224
I feel this way about orangutans and Eagles.

>>17641692
Truth not conspiracy and every educated individual knows this.

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Mice are actually studying us. We are just part of a giant computer.

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we are actually living on the inner surface of the hollow earth - and a spacetime distortion at the center of it all just makes the cosmos appear to be vast.

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Theres a huge space battle just outside earths atmosphere fought between weird spirit like creatures and spaceships.

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Nibiru is real.
http://solarsystem.nasa.gov/news/2016/01/21/caltech-researchers-find-evidence-of-a-real-ninth-planet

>>17641240
>schizophrenia in a nutshell

>>17641268

People can say "9/11 was an inside job", "the US government let it happen as an excuse to invade Afghanistan" etc. Better that than admit that US intelligence plain and simple fucked up, because that would be a sign of weakness.

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Tissue paper companies put dust in their tissues, hence the dust particles when you rip them. This in turn will force you to buy more tissues.

So this is what board sliding looks like

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Nelson Mandela was murdered by Hollywood executives to raise box office profits. Knowing that the public would only give a shit if the late Mr. Mandela had recently passed away, the producers of the new Mandela movie had him assassinated and made to look like old age so they could profit from the death of an international hero.

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I have reason to believe that Barack Obama is working for the US government.

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Yuri Garagin wasn't the first person in space. He was just the first to return alive.

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There are allegedly around 6.5 million Finns, right? That's out of a 7.125 billion humans. That means Finns make up .0912% of the planet.

That's not 9%—that's point zero nine percent, less than a percent, less than a tenth of a percent.

To put that another way, 99.9% of the planet are not Finns. How do we know this? Government censuses.

Now, the best government censuses have a margin of error of at least 1%. So Finns make up .0912% of the planet, plus or minus one percent.

In conclusion: there is a 50/50 chance Finland doesn't exist.

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>>17641787
Oh fuck!

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I've heard the theory that Finland is not real and was made up by the Japenese to help with fishing rights but that's wrong. It's really Sweden's little secret.

You see, Sweden was really unhappy being right next to Russia. Every twenty years you have a Putin or a Peter shooting missiles at you. That's no fun. So then they said, "Wait, what if we weren't next to Russia?" So they developed this idea. They needed to convince everyone that Finland existed.

Now, whenever Putin wants to invade Sweden, he'll decide not to because he's lazy and doesn't want to stomp through Finland just to get to Sweden.

That's the why, but what evidence do we have of it?

The language. Supposedly, Finland is right next to Russia and Sweden. So that mean its language is either Germanic-Norse or Slavic, right? WRONG! It's fucking Hungarian. Do you know how far away
Helsinki is from Budapest? Two thousand kilometers! And there are six different countries between them. That is lunacy I say.

No one goes to Finland. Sure, you've heard of Helsinki, but how many of you can remember that it's the capital of Finland immediately?

How could it exist where it supposedly is? How has Russia or Sweden not destroyed it yet? They're sandwiched between two large powers, and no one has killed them yet. Seems suspicious to me.

Regarding Sweden as a great power, I was thinking more about 17th century Sweden, which basically stomped through the entirety of Germany during the 30 Years' War with Gustavus Adolphus. Nowadays they are not powerful.

>>17641774

>owner of world trade center took out terrorist insurance during the week prior before 9/11 happened

> dat building 7, bro. no plane hit it...

>>17641787
lol

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There's been a funny one for years and years that there's a state in the middle of the US called Wyoming. They've even got the map makers in on it. How people believe that this void in our country is a state called Wyoming is beyond me.

The Queen is Hitlers cousin.

>>17641574
He was right just misunderstood. Civil war comes out in may and it's going to be huge. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

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UFOs are real and aliens are plausible:

ASTRONAUTS

"I believe that these extraterrestrial vehicles and their crews are visiting this planet from other planets which obviously are a little more technically advanced than we are here on Earth."
— Colonel Gordon Cooper, Mercury & Gemini Astronaut

"I happen to be privileged enough to be in on the fact that we have been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomenon is real. It has been covered up by governments for quite some time now."
— Captain Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut

"...I've been asked [about UFOs] and I've said publicly I thought they [UFOs] were somebody else, some other civilization."
— Astronaut Eugene Cernan, Apollo 17 Commander

"I was testing a P-51 fighter in Minneapolis when I spotted this object. [...] It looked like a saucer, a disk. About the same time, I realized that it was suddenly going away from me - and there I was, running at about 300 miles per hour. I tracked it for a little way, and then all of a sudden the damn thing just took off. It pulled about a 45 degree climbing turn and accelerated and just flat disappeared."
— Captain Donald Slayton, Mercury Astronaut

"For nearly 50 years, the secrecy apparatus within the United States Government has kept from the public UFO and alien contact information." "We have contact with alien cultures."
— Astronaut Dr. Brian O'Leary

Edgar Hoover had Kennedy killed because Kennedy planned to tear open the CIA. Kennedy also knew about Hoovers secret, Hoover was gay, so Hoover couldn't fight Kennedy with words for fear of being outted (Hoover also knew about JFKs affairs, which in a way held Kennedy back, but was more fearful of the alleged photos of him BJing his lover.)

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>>17641862

NASA, CIA, ARMY, AIR FORCE ETC

"Unknown objects are operating under intelligent control... It is imperative that we learn where UFOs come from and what their purpose is..." "Behind the scenes, high-ranking Air Force officers are soberly concerned about the UFOs. But through official secrecy and ridicule, many citizens are led to believe that unknown flying objects are nonsense."
— Admiral Roscoe Hillenkoetter, first Director of the CIA, 1947-1950

"We had a job to do, whether right or wrong, to keep the public from getting excited."
— Dr. J. Allen Hynek, Scientific consultant for Air Force Project Blue Book

"Of course UFOs are real, and they are interplanetary. The cumulative evidence for the existence of UFOs is quite overwhelming and I accept the fact of their existence."
— Air Chief Marshall Lord Hugh Dowding, Commanding Officer of the Royal Air Force during WWII

"We must insist upon full access to disks recovered. For instance, in the La case the Army grabbed it and would not let us have it for cursory examination."
— J. Edgar Hoover, first Director of the FBI

"This 'flying saucer' situation is not at all imaginary or seeing too much in some natural phenomena. Something is really flying around. The phenomenon is something real and not visionary or fictitious."
— General Nathan Twining, US Air Force, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff 1955-1958

"Unidentified Flying Objects are entering our atmosphere at very high speeds and obviously under intelligent control. We must solve this riddle without delay."
— Rear Admiral Delmar Fahrney, USNR

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>>17641870

ROCKET SCIENTISTS & PHYSICISTS

"It is my thesis that flying saucers are real and that they are space ships from another solar system. There is no doubt in my mind that these objects are interplanetary craft of some sort. I and my colleagues are confident that they do not originate in our solar system."
— Dr. Hermann Oberth, the "father of modern rocketry"

"I am completely convinced that UFOs have an out-of-world basis."
— Dr. Walther Riedel, chief designer and research director at the German rocket center in Peenemunde

"The least improbable explanation is that these things are artificial and controlled... My opinion for some time has been that they have an extraterrestrial origin."
— Dr. Maurice Biot, leading aerodynamicists and mathematical physicist

>>17641787
someone forgot to take their meds

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>>17641871

SOVIET / U.S. PRESIDENTS
"The phenomenon of UFOs is real. I know that there are scientific organisations which study the problem. It must be treated seriously."
— Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev

"I can assure you that flying saucers, given that they exist, are not constructed by any power on earth."
— President Harry S. Truman

"I don't laugh at people any more when they say they've seen UFOs. It was the darndest thing I've ever seen. It was big, it was very bright, it changed colors and it was about the size of the moon. We watched it for ten minutes, but none of us could figure out what it was."
— President Jimmy Carter

"I looked out the window and saw this white light. It was zigzagging around. I went up to the pilot and said, have you ever seen anything like that? He was shocked and he said, "Nope." ... We followed it to Bakersfield, and all of a sudden to our utter amazement it went straight up into the heavens. When I got off the plane I told Nancy all about it."
"I occasionally think how quickly our differences worldwide would vanish if we were facing an alien threat from outside of this world."
— President Ronald Reagan

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There's no gold in Fort Knox.

Years ago France asked for their gold back and were refused. China received a gold shipment that was gold on the outside but cheap metal of similar weight underneath.

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Mormons love trampolines. Ask any one of them that you know. They either have, had, or don't have space to fit the trampoline they want.

The trolls are strong in this one

>>17641789
this would not surprise me

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Delaware doesn't exist. No one has ever produced reliable evidence that it exists. It's NEVER talked about, at all. The only notable thing about it seems to be that it was the first state to ratify the constitution, which is believable and just mundane enough that you can mentally refer to Delaware as "the first state" and feel contented with its identity.

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Water is an intelligent fluid. It can remember things.

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Gay people are created by the government.

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Illuminati are very low in the conspiratorial hierarchy. In fact, most of their secrets are public knowledge now. As we move into the galactic new age with higher frequencies giving rise to more conscious beings, the uppermost have to sacrifice their peons to maintain their control.

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The entire British royal family are shape-shifting reptilians from Mars.

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Apollo 11 and 12 didn't happen, and Apollo 13 was the first actual attempt at launching a manned rocket capable of putting man on the moon. Failure ensued. Apollo 14's crew were the first to land on the moon.

The logic behind this is that the US felt the SU were going to beat them to putting man on the moon, and lied about getting there so that the SU would give up, or at least slow down so that the US would still be able to win the space race, regardless of being pretty far behind.

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The space shuttle Columbia was actually shot down by a malfunctioning 1980's Star Wars defense anti missile satellite. Since disbanding the program, they were never taken out of service. The Columbia was leaving the Earth's atmosphere near a satellite and was targeted. There wasn't a way to stop it because the control systems had been disassembled. They came up with doctored video to explain it was just an unfortunate accident.

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JFK ordered the assassination of Governor John Connolly and forgot to duck.

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Albania doesn't exist.
Do you know any Albanian?
Do you know somebody who knows any Albanian?
Have you ever heard about any Albanian?
Do you know a title of some Albanian book?
Have you heard an Albanian word?
Do you know the Albanian currency?
Have you ever seen an Albanian license plate?
Have you seen some photo from Albania?
Have you heard of Albanian cuisine?
Do you know the area code for Albania?
Do you maybe know some Albanian company?
What about an Albanian movie?
Have you heard of any historical event concerning Albania?
Who's the president of Albania?
Is this really a republic?
If yes, have you ever heard of any elections?
Have you ever seen label with "made in Albania" inscription?
Show me the albanian charset.
Try to go on a trip to Albania from a travel agent.
Buy Albanian phrases somewhere.
Ask anyone what does they know about Albania.
Name at least one player from Albania's football team.
Name three Albanian cities. And don't even try looking it up in the atlas, it's all false.
Okay, how about two Albanian rivers?
One Albanian monument?
It speaks for itself.

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For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they absorb dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Absorbers. The Dark Absorber
Theory and the existence of dark absorbers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Absorber Theory is that electric bulbs absorb dark. For example, take the Dark Absorber in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the
Dark Absorber, the greater its capacity to absorb dark. Dark Absorbers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to absorb dark than the ones in this room.

As with all things, Dark Absorbers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer absorb. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Absorber. A candle is a primitive Dark Absorber. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been absorbed into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Absorbers is their limited range.

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>>17641986

There are also portable Dark Absorbers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Absorber can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Absorber, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Absorber. Candles present
a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet. This is proof positive that the Dark Absorber Theory is true.

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Humans used to live on Mars. We depleted it of all of its resources and had no choice but to leave in order to keep the human race alive. We came to Earth in a spaceship and the blast from us landing was the "asteroid" we know today that caused the dinosaur extinction. Now we are just repeating the whole process over again.

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This cheese.

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John Dillinger never actually died. He knew the FBI was planning on capturing him outside the theater and he sent a lookalike in. There's a death mask of the person they killed but it looks nothing like him.

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The government instituted a slave colony on the dark side of the moon in order to mine resource filled areas that are apparently there. They've supposedly been shipping kidnapped children and immigrants there for years.

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The united states tested their earthquake gun on Haiti then fired it at Japan

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Christianity began as a coverup for a girl getting pregnant out of wedlock

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>>17641988

When Tony Blair wanted to drag Britain into war with Iraq because of supposed WMD, David Kelly, who was some kind of expert, told parliament that certain claims were untrue and Iraq couldn't have the weapons it was claimed that they had. He was found dead in the woods, and it was claimed to be a suicide but lots of people think he was murdered.

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In 1980 according to Carter and members of his administration, they were willing to give Iran millions of dollars worth of spare parts for American made equipment then held by the revolutionary government in Iran. The Iranians turned down the deal and kept the hostages through the election (November 1980) until the day Reagan was sworn in January 1981. Obviously, the best time for Iran to make a deal was before the election. Officially, the only reason Iran released the hostages in 1981 was to unfreeze their assets held in American banks. If you check the official reason, there is no other deal. The Iranians simply declined a good deal and took a shitty deal. Then the Iran-Contra hearings in 1983-4 showed the Reagan in fact did sell arms and spare parts to Iran, more than Iran would have gotten in the original deal offered by Carter. Therefore, the Reagan-Bush campaign made a secret deal, treason, and Iran still to this day has the evidence to prove the deal, which they must have held on to to assure compliance with Reagan-Bush after the new administration took office. One day, Iran will release the video of Bush Sr. making the deal, filmed in October 1980.

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Gogurt is just yogurt.

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There is shockingly little evidence that Hitler died in Berlin. The only source is one of the surviving guards. We now know that the skull recovered was not Hitler's, not even a man's in fact (neither was it Eva Braun's)

Stalin never believed Hitler was dead. The U.S. was certainly skeptical.

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There were a couple of really good theories about Michael Jackson getting castrated by his father in order for him to continually reach those high notes.

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Jericho was forced off tv by the US government because it too closely resembled the way the Iraq occupation was playing out. Plus, the possibility of 25 nuclear weapons being detonated in 25 American cities is much more likely than we think.

>>17642181
Man, I really liked that show

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The Moscow apartment bombings were a false flag attack aimed at raising Putin to power and giving Russia an excuse for the Second Chechen War.

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Every time Obama opens his mouth about gun control, there's record numbers of firearm sales for the month. He's been called the greatest gun salesman of all time because of this. What if that's the goal and he's trying to get as many people armed for an upcoming invasion?

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>>17639707
Yeah I seriously doubt it.

>>17641746
How do you explain other planets that you can see like Venus

>>17642226
or what if he gets all americans armed and then uses the phones or electronic mind control to get them shooting at each other for a faster kill off process?

>>17641651
Bubba Ho-Tep for who's wondering

>>17639406
Shut the fuck up with DIA. I know like 50% of the dues that built the place, shit one of them is even my boss, another being my dad. All of those conspiracy theories that everyone has passed around have been debunked by them.

>>17641596
will the real slim shady please stand up

>>17641673
That's actually plausible.

Conspiracies are just algorithms of thought meant to divert you from the real shit. The illuminati is just a meme, a mental virus. Logical motherfuckers are trying to outplay you on meta tiers of thought.

>>17641793
>>17641801
I actually knew a chick from Sweden who did a foreign exchnge thing during my sophomore year of high school.

>>17641845
Well you're not wrong. I've lived in Wyoming and I can assure you that it is most certainly a void of space. Mostly wind.

>>17642123
w-why would you say such a ludicrous thing? heathen!

>>17641697
>>17641224
what about dolphins

>>17639697
Why would an airport need free promotion? When is the last time you saw paid promotion for an airport?

>>17642069

Why would we want to hurt Japan?

>>17642571
The new 20$ bill had how many millions in promotion?

>>17641655

When I watch the Zapruder film I see the driver look back reach over and shoot JFK. Remember, back and to the left. It explains the trajectory.

neo the dr from doctor who and quantum leap are all based on the real story of jesus

>>17641878
Why do all of these sound like they were written by the same person?

>>17641268
S
MOLTEN fuck off shill
E
E
L

>>17639406
My current favorite conspiracy is that Michelle Obama has a dick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y6XW7hgfq8

>>17641224
If pandas were intelligent they'd have a more efficient diet and fuck more often.

>>17642820
first time hearing about this

i'm fuckin dying lmao

>>17642945
My first time hearing it was three days ago. Here, on that iceberg pic. I was like "What? That easy to disprove. "Michelle obama pregnancy picture." Hmm. Not a single one." Then it got more and more credible as I researched. It's my new favorite thing so I bring it up whenever I can.

>>17642484
good for you you stupid fuck

>>17641228

It's not really a conspiracy as much as it is mere common sense.

OUr society is filled to the brim with hidden social conditioning tactics such as this to merely promote capitalism and the spending of money. Like the fact that so many people have problem in school because schools care not about education, they care only about conditioning the youth into accepting a status quo and a standart of normality by making students follow a program that slowly conditions them to the expectations of our society. In school, you never really learn any valuable life skill from the institution itself, but you learn to respect ponctuality, you learn to never question authority, you learn to blindly respect rules that, often, makes no sense and are only there to discourage you from questioning anything (Such as stupid dress codes that, if questioned or not respected, deserves you punishment), they teach that, in order to succeed, you must deliver a quality of performance determined by an average regardless of if your comrades may have a better andvantage than you and if you fall behind, you are shamed for slacking off or not giving enough of an effort. By forcng you to interact with people you don't get along with
and the institution dong close to nothing to help you deal with this fact, you learn fear, hatred, scorn, jealousy, violence and you develop a mindset which discourage you from seeking help from your peer and to, in return, help them, because what worth is it if you are going to be turned down anyways?

School breaks our human nature which is to help each other to increase our chances of survival and condition us to become individualists, to either step on others to rise to the top or accept our faith as prey for the strongest. It creates an imaginary ladder for us to climb and does not encourage us to develop our own potential, but to, rather, follow the average, strive to get meaningless documents and, then, work to strenghten the economy. spend, consume.

>>17642626
A dollar bill is not an airport you actual retarded person.

>>17641240
You weren't touched enough as a child. I'll touch you. Send me your deets, boy.

>>17641673
This

>>17641240
and every location you currently aren't at is in the background, waiting to be loaded until you make it there.

would be a nice game/story idea to flesh out.

>>17641789
You mean the first to return.

>>17641845
>>17642491
I took a greyhound through wyoming. I can confirm. It's like a psychic vacuum.

>>17641993
And we had no writing system and took with us absolutely no technology

We didn't teach the future generations anything

>>17642094
This is a very prevalent theory that Mary was raped by a Roman centurion

>>17641685
This man's mustanche grooming is silly.
Also i like how he says the devil would talk backwards, and then proceeds to spell voodu, in an order than suits his point, not really in reverse. but i guess vooud doesn't fit into his theory, of a leopard being America/Obama.

>>17642439

That doesn't really matter. Why would the hired builders be in on whatever may or may not be going on? If you know the architects/designers, then that's something.

>>17642318
are you being sarcastic? your pic confirms his post..

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I think Lee Harvey Oswald's Soviet ties are worth discussing. He was a Marine Corps-trained marksman who defected to the Soviet Union and killed a president who blatantly tried and failed to kill a leader of an ally of the Soviets (Fidel Castro) in the Bay of Pigs fiasco. If the assassination was some sort of retaliation by the Soviets or Soviet sympathizers, I wouldn't be surprised that it was covered up to prevent a nuclear war from happening, especially given the context of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Child actors grow up to be short (Elijah Wood, Daniel Radcliffe, Michael J Fox, Gary Coleman, Josh Hutcherson..etc) because they were given hormones to stunt their growth during long periods of filming.

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Pakistan was hiding and protecting Osama bin Laden and using him as a bargaining chip in negotiations with the US, who eventually went ahead and killed him covertly without Pakistani permission. It explains why Pakistani-American relations took a hit in the months following Osama's assassination, why Osama was located less than two miles from Pakistan's version of West Point, and why there were a disproportionate number of highly qualified non-military doctors in the area.

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Oklahoma has so many man made lakes, so much so that even if there is nuclear fallout, the lakes can be drained and there will still be millions of acres of fertile land.

>>17641607
what? I don't it, elaborate

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JFK was killed as revenge for Marilyn Monroe getting whacked for carrying his baby. His people did her in to cover it up, then Hollywood did JFK to avenge her.

>>17643694
There are actually a number of different versions of the Phantom Time Hypothesis. Each version cuts out a different set of years. But they generally have a similar set of ethnic/nationalist motivations in common: People believe that years when their people weren't doing anything impressive didn't happen, and that years when their people were getting beaten down really didn't happen. The most egregious example of this is the Fomenko chronology which is the Russo-centric one. That one believes that not only did much of the Dark Ages not happen but that the entire conspiracy was made to cover up the fact that for much of history everyone was ruled by Russia.

Of course, the fact that we have shitloads of documents from other cultures (i.e. China), radioactive dating, and independent corroboration from astronomical events (like say SN 1054 which was well documented and left a record in ice cores from the radiation altering the Earth's atmosphere) are just ignored by these people.

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Truth is actually funded by big tobacco as a way to advertise to youth as well as to keep smokers to keep smoking. Would you even hear about tobacco and cigarettes daily if it wasn't for them? Not to mention their commercials make absolutely no attempt to prevent people from smoking or to help people seek treatment.

>>17643713
huh
never thought of it that way

>>17641651
>shot in the head
>they saved his brain

>>17641757
the one written by ancient Hindus. pretty detailed descriptions too.

>>17641793
this is gold.

>>17641888
many countries asked for their gold back, and were refused.

>>17641993
>the blast from us landing was the "asteroid" we know today that caused the dinosaur extinction.
that's just retarded. Also, how did we make Earth livable?

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The Olympic (Titanic's older sister ship) was damaged in two collisions. One of those collisions damaged her keel. So, while Olympic was in Belfast for repairs, and Titanic was being finished, they swapped the names on the two ships. Then they planned on sinking the ship for the insurance. Olympic's damage was going to be very costly to repair correctly. The Californian, which was the ship nearest to Titanic when she went down was owned by the same parent company that owned the White Star Line, and she was empty of cargo except for a couple of thousand wool sweaters or something like that.

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>>17641224
>intelligent
That's why they practically never fuck.. Plus they choose the least nutritional food possible, even though they are omnivores.

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The Spanish-American war started when a boiler blew on a ship in Havana and the United States blamed it on the Spanish.

>>17642181
>>17642191

this show?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0805663

>>17642226
>Every time Obama opens his mouth about gun control, there's record numbers of firearm sales for the month. He's been called the greatest gun salesman of all time because of this. What if that's the goal and he's trying to get as many people armed for an upcoming invasion?
pretty good. politics is: say A, do B (or make B happen indirectly)

>>17643667
>US killed Osama
explain the fuckery around his body, and the lack of evidence for his death.

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The fashion industry is just a front for human trafficking. The models and sexy advertisements you see are just them showing off their goods and letting the higher up people know they are for sale.

Interesting, especially considering the recent string of models caught technically selling themselves to Arabic and American super rich men.

>>17643695
>Hollyjew killed a president over some whore
kek, come on now

hitler didn't die in a bunker in berlin, recently a man dna tested the supposed corps of hitler in Russia and found it to be of that of a women.

A current theory is that he fled to argentina
there is fbi reports of this, some other high ranking Nazis have fled to argentina so why not the most most powerful man in central europe?

>>17639406
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oj9V8VAmwOc

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The mass shooter phenomenon is the result of a U.S. military experiment gone wrong. The military has developed certain experimental drugs that incite homicidal action, for use against enemy troops or enemy civilians during war, in order to create chaos that can yield an advantage. The government tests these drugs on mentally ill people because that provides them with a cover for when the person turns homicidal. Many schizophrenics stop taking their meds when they start feeling the effects, and others complain of "cameras" in their homes monitoring them all of the time - these people are not actually crazy, they are being monitored. They are part of non-consensual controlled experiments to see how they react to weapons-grade drugs. These drugs would be easy to swap out in a patient's home or in a pharmacy. The increasing incidence of "crazed active shooters" with seemingly no motive is a result of the success in developing these drugs. What better experimental subject than Adam Lanza, a kid who never left his room and communicated with his own mom via email only? Or James Holmes, sequestered in his apartment? These shooters don't leave manifestos because they don't have reasons for being mass killers. They allegedly "booby trap" their apartments, giving government agents time to clear them out of incriminating evidence. Effectively, these people are experimental "zombies" which are being tested; the mass shootings are collateral damage.

>>17643858
even without the conspiracy. wouldn't models still sell themselves to extremely rich people just because the pay is good? and wouldn't these rich people see the models anyway when they see advertisements? a conspiracy is not needed and irrelevant on this subject

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That kid from Texas intentionally created a bomb scare so when the school reacted his family could claim racism, then sue the school and benefit the father's political career.

It's not really a conspiracy theory if you look at the facts. He didn't "invent" anything. He basically unscrewed the back panel of a Wal-Mart alarm clock, took out the electronics, and put it in a case and started showing everybody at school. He also made sure to wear his NASA t-shirt while his sister took that now famous photo of him in handcuffs.

His dad is professional liar and politician and now the family is moving to Qatar and wants $15 million? Fuck them. They planned the thing out from the beginning.

>>17641651

It was a hoax. JFK is obviously wearing a wig, to conceal a squib to fake the head shot.

Pretty much all the major news stories are hoaxed.

People are dumb as shit.

I believe the twin towers were hit on 9/11 because that's the emergency police number in america.

might seem obvious but I probably the first guy in 16 years to point that out and say it plainly.

>>17641771
Sounds like a boss, actually anon, its ambiguous of course...

>>17643955
it's just to reinforce the effect on the psyche of the people. a tragedy happening on the same date (label) of the number you remember when a tragedy happens

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>>17643102
Fucking lost it when i saw that

>>17641680
Why is this so fucking funny, the Pepe just completes the joke

>>17642571
A more popular/established airport can justify higher rates to airlines, as well as higher budgets from the city, so it's useful to have name recognition at the very least in the place that decides your budget. Airport marketing isn't usually done directly toward passengers, instead airports will fund marketing for airlines, because airlines are what bring people in to the airport.

>>17643999
>>17642571
Adding to this I've seen airports pledge $100s of thousands in marketing money to multiple airlines annually, so any time you see a local ad for flights at your airport there's a pretty solid chance the airport paid for it.

>>17641988
Only a falsehood would make ridicule of the truth~ proven... conceptualised mechanism.

Sssss goes the ju

>>17643909
This isn't a conspiracy, this is what fucking happened

Windows 10 contains some sort of NSA shit that they couldn't just patch into 8 and that's why they're being to pushy about installing it.

>>17644150
Conspiracies can be true dumb fuck.

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pugs were not really the result of human assisted breeding, but were actually God's first attempt at making dogs and he fucked up big time and spread the breeding rumor to cover up his fuck up.

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The US is being transformed into a dystopia through the actions of a shadow government comprised of corporate interests. The top 0.01% will live in blissful ignorance of the outside world, while the rest of us exist in conditions of impoverishment to support their lifestyles. The endgame is high walls, private armies, martial law, the works.

>>17644299
for what reason?

>killing your cashcow

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>>17641238
> control the ionosphere
> alter the weather

come now. this is not how weather works

>>17642118
I like it

>>17644331
>heating it up
>dispersing rain clouds, changing their movement direction
yeah it does

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The D.A.R.E. program was actually concocted to go into public classrooms and teach kids what drugs looked like, their effects, and how to consume them. This simultaneously ensured future drug crimes, and trumped up the necessity of the "war on drugs," thus keeping the prison/military industrial complexes rolling at full steam.

>>17644346
that thumbnail, upside down, looks like a flying duck

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On June 4, 1963, a virtually unknown Presidential decree, Executive Order 11110, was signed with the authority to basically strip the Rothschild Bank of its power to loan money to the United States Federal Government at interest.
With the stroke of a pen, President Kennedy declared that the privately owned Rothschild Federal Reserve Bank would soon be out of business. The Christian Law Fellowship has exhaustively researched this matter through the Federal Register and Library of Congress.
We can now safely conclude that this Executive Order has never been repealed, amended, or superceded by any subsequent Executive Order. In simple terms, it is still valid.
When President John Fitzgerald Kennedy signed this Order, it returned to the United States federal government, specifically the Treasury Department, the Constitutional power to create and issue currency - money – without going through the privately owned Rothschild Federal Reserve Bank

>>17643855
There is none. We must simply trust.

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If you give Ron Jeremy 5 minutes, he'll make your cock bigger

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Bill Cosby's son's murder was not random. Cosby himself had him killed because the son was going to come forward about his father's history of rape.

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>>17644367

>>17644340
can you even into physics

>>17643855
yeah he's not dead

he's been captured by the US and is held at a black site, or he is living a life of luxury with illuminati protection

>>17641222
lol i like this one.

>>17641673
/thread

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Tampons contain chemicals that have long-term effects of causing longer and more bloody periods.

>>17641901
This desu

>>17641525
My dad is paralyzed and bed sore will probably kill him.

They come on fast and he gets blood poisoning. When he stays off one hip to heal the sores other ones just form.

>>17643630
>implying bush sr doesnt know more than any other president in history.

>>17641849
Probably true.

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The USAF has space fighters. They can achieve escape velocity, and reenter the atmosphere at a 70 degree dive. The TAW-50 is real.

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The Lavon Affair: Israeli agents dressed up as Egyptians and planned to bomb American targets in Egypt in order to fool the US into taking a more pro-Israel position. The agents were arrested and tried in Egypt, and the US put sanctions on Israel as a result of this attempted terrorist attack.

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>>17644398
At the time, the US relationship with Israel was quite weak and only a few years later President Eisenhower would demand that Israel, France, and the UK pull out of Egypt during the Suez War.

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This is not even a conspiracy, it's just the truth

Saudi Arabia was behind 9/11

Donald Trump knows and is going to blow them the fuck out when he becomes president

he hates them for what they did to the twin towers and his friends he had there

he wants payback

Also donald is going to pull back the curtain on globalist influences when he is elected

All Chinese run doughnut shops are just fronts for something else. They just never go out of business. Ever. And you rarely see more than 1 person in there, if any. There are two shops in the town I grew up in who have been there for 25 years now. Everything around them, including a McDonald's has gone out of business 2-3 times at least.
I just don't get how you can afford keeping it open with 50 cent doughnuts.

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Lemme tellya hwut. There is a service that is offered to rich (and mostly famous) people. They will fake your death and you get to disappear and live the rest of your days as a new person usually on a private island.

The Trade Center towers were ALWAYS outfitted with explosives incase of an attack because it costs less money to have them fall straight down the way they did than have these giant things topple over and hit another multi billion slab of skyscraper. The Jews would rather see people die than risk losing any more smeckles.

>>17641240
oh be quiet, you aren't even real. Everyone in here is a bot created by moot to simulate real conversations that filters convos from various websites.

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>>17639558
>all conspiracies are diversions from the following conspiracies

>>17641891
Can confirm.

My mormon parents have a trampoline.

They've had one for like.... Around 20 years I'd say. My two brothers are really into gymnastics

>>17641801


Having met TWO people who speak Finnish. One native. The other a true special snowflake of a man who worked as a Mormon missionary in Finland. They have a handful of ways to congregate EVERYTHING. It's insane. Like. Most people in Finland end up having to learn every other language in the euro one as it is. Will say their pretty smart. Native I met was learning Japanese as his SEVENTH language.

>>17644419
many more people would have died had they toppled over though no?

i guess all other building could have evacuated, but what about the rest of the first responders? just thinking out loud here.

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Cabbage Patch Kids dolls were designed to resemble mutant babies created by US government radiation experiments, then distributed to the public to get people used to what children would look like after nuclear war

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The Ice Bucket Challenge Is a Satanic Baptism Ritual
As evidence of this grand satanic plot, believers point to the fact that a ton of celebrities are taking part in the challenge and, as we all know, celebrities are totes in league with the author of all sin. Case in point -- for her ice bucket video, Lady Gaga dressed in black, and instead of a bucket, she used a silver bowl, an object that has only ever been used for evil. Likewise, Bill Gates built a flimsy bucket-dumping rig clearly evocative of the Temple of Solomon and not just a pile of random bullshit in his backyard.
It is important to note that the Temple of Solomon is a biblical structure that has absolutely nothing to do with the devil.
The most shameless affront to God-fearing decency came at the hands of Oprah, who conducted her challenge "in the name of ALS" -- an acronym which, according to this totally sane YouTube lady, actually stands for Antichrist Lucifer Satan (Lucifer is his middle name). Even if you're not a celebrity and you participated in the challenge, you might still be going to hell, because ALS research involves the use of stem cells, which requires aborted fetuses, which are virgin sacrifices made to honor the Father of Lies. Apparently, the devil really wants to cure Lou Gehrig's Disease.

>>17641891
I'm gonna test this theory out later 2bh

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Adolf Hitler was actually a dolphin, genetically engineered by the SS.

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>>17641896
This is just silly. Delaware is also known for having no sales tax, and anyone in the surrounding mid atlantic states can go over there to purchase things like cartons of cigarettes for cheap. Also their beaches are less crowded than those same surrounding states.

>>17641896
>>17644482
almost all companies worth anything have their address in delaware for that low tax.

i would believe it if they propped up the fake state in order to pay lower taxes.

>>17643713
you could include that vaporizers had gotten so much heat from lawmakers because they actually cut into big tobacco's profits & tax revenues from states.

>>17643109
I thought about that once and I realized there is literally no way for anybody to prove this theory wrong or right. Fuck.

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I love it when people say Hitler is still alive and lives in tropical caves in a secret base under Antarctica. Fuck off. Hitler would be like 150 years old.

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The US government created Hurricane Katrina with weather-controlling technology purchased from the Soviets when the USSR collapsed.
How else do you explain Hurricane Katrina traveling precisely over the International Hurricane Research Center in Florida, then taking a right turn and demolishing a good number of the oil rigs in the Gulf outside of NOLA, thus spiking oil prices and putting a lot of money in GW Bush and Cheney's pockets?

>>17641993
No man, the demons invaded and we were forced to evacuate to Earth. Didn't you ever play Doom 3, bro?

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There is a marine mammal known as a seal.

In court, sometimes records are placed under seal.

Therefore, the US court system is illegitimate because admiralty law.

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>>17644486
I've been there bro, to their beaches, specifically in Lewes (which is supposedly the first city in the first state). If Delaware doesn't exist, you have to ask yourself where did Joe Biden come from and how was he a senator there?

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The Deepwater Horizon explosion was caused by a North Korean submarine.

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Unlimited population growth will hit a mental trigger in animals and create self-destructive behaviors.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_sink

Brain in a vat

The brain in a vat is an element used in a variety of thought experiments intended to draw out certain features of our ideas of knowledge, reality, truth, mind, and meaning. It assumes the following;
-The brain is the origin of all consciousness.
-The brain operates on electrical impulses. -External stimuli can affect the way the brain operates.
-Any external stimuli to the brain can be simulated to a degree that the brain cannot distinguish these simulated stimuli from natural stimuli. The point is that you could be a brain in a jar, being fed false impulses for your entire life by an external source, or you (still a brain in a jar) could be hallucinating your entire life from lack of stimuli.

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A computer smart enough to pass the Turing test would also be smart enough to know to fail it.

>>17641774
>planes fly around for long time and no jets were scrambled to intercept

yea dude

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>>17641673

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We never really die in our perspective. Every time we encounter a situation where we may die, we continue on in a parallel universe where something happens that prevents our death. But we die in the original universe. In a sense, our consciousness lives on by transferring itself to a parallel universe where we continue to exist.

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The Great Filter

It’s a theory about why the universe seems so filled with potential for life and yet we haven’t found it. It states that somewhere between pre-life and an advanced civilization that is capable of colonizing the stars, there’s a Great Filter that stops them and ends life. This means humans fit into one of these three scenarios:

-We’re rare, meaning we’ve already passed the Great Filter, unlike other civilizations on other planets.

-We’re the first, meaning conditions in the universe are only now life friendly and we’re among many on our way to the capability of colonization.

-We haven’t hit the Filter yet, meaning we are fucked. If this one is true, it means finding life or proof of life on Mars or Europa would be awful news because it would almost certainly mean the Filter is still ahead of us instead of behind us.

>>17644543
THIS

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The possibility of a vacuum metastability event. The concept is pretty abstract, which makes it kind of seem not so scary. In short, such an event would destroy the entire universe as we know it. The physical constants of our universe would change, and eventually the universe would likely collapse and cease to exist altogether. It would start at a single point in space, and the bubble of destruction would expand at the speed of light. We would have no warning before it consumed us.

It might have already happened somewhere out there...

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Roko's Basilisk

This is a proposition that says an all-powerful artificial intelligence from the future may retroactively punish those who did not assist in bringing about its existence. It resembles a futurist version of Pascal’s wager; an argument suggesting that people should take into account particular singularitarian ideas, or even donate money, by weighing up the prospect of punishment versus reward. Furthermore, the proposition says that merely knowing about it incurs the risk of punishment (Now you know about it. You know who to thank while you will be tortured). It is also mixed with an ontological argument, to suggest this is even a reasonable threat.

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scientists know imminent doom may befall the planet that'll wipe us all out but are keeping it a secret, because if such a thing isn't avoidable what would be the point in actually telling everyone?

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Aliens have been trying to contact us for hundreds of years, starting maybe a thousand years ago, but we never had the technology to send anything back or even notice that anybody was trying to contact us.

It just isn't feasible to actually travel to our planet, so they only sent various signals through electromagnetic waves which, as you probably know, travel at the speed of light.

Then, in the 19th century or so, they gave up. We didn't respond for hundreds or maybe even thousands of years. They gave up and said: "Oh well, looks like there is no intelligent life there anyway" and never contacted us again. Just a few years later, we discovered radio communication, but it was too late at that point.

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There was a massive solar flare in 2012 which narrowly missed Earth. If it had hit, it would have destroyed most of our electronics. The Internet would be gone. It would have likely started a new Dark Ages.

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The grey goo scenario is where we create self-replicating nanobots that end up eating up all matter and they turn earth into a shimmering blob of grey nanobot goo.

The loch ness monster wasn't made up by the Scottish government to increase tourism it was made up to draw attention away from whatever it was they found at the bottom of Loch Lomond in 1933

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When you go to bed, your consciousness is interrupted. When you wake up, it is not the same stream of thoughts that went to bed. It is a new entity, with all the experiences, quirks, anatomy and brain chemistry of the previous occupant. Much in the same way that if you were disassembled, atom by atom, then put together, and awoken, it wouldn't really be you. Consciousness is a feature of nature, much like gravity; certain constellations of matter give rise to it in varying forms. All consciousness is the same, as all gravity is the same. Every person is an expression of this feature of reality, where the physical features of the body shape the differences of personality. However sleep is like death, only that another person of sorts wakes up the next day. Everyday, every person faces inevitable end at the hand of sleep, and so does every consciousness you've ever known. For some of you, it should be around bedtime now.

>>17641789
Ah yes, the lost cosmonauts... Pretty interesting read :)

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Everything that humanity has ever accomplished beyond basic survival has been motivated by a fundamental and irreducible fear of non-existence. Our conception of self and self-esteem generally is simply a buffer against the anxiety that comes with recognizing that we will cease to be. Culture is just a massive shared delusion to mitigate our fear of the unknown and ultimately of death. Thus we want to imagine certain works of art as timeless or to place value in family lines and offspring, to project ourselves beyond death. We take comfort in our value systems and the structures that arise from them, whether that's through conceptions of biological kinship, national/ political identity, religious faith, etc. This includes belief in the inherent value of ensuring the future of humanity through scientific progress. Indeed much of modern western life is devoted to the avoidance of death, the various euphemisms and stock phrases in mourning, the entire funeral home industry that serves to remove death from the ordinary course of life, from the home and onto the embalming table or into the crematorium. We build up the artifice to avoid the brutal reality.

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The CIA funneled crack into the U.S. in the 1980s to illegally fund the rebels in Nicaragua with the knowledge and consent of the Reagan administration.
The reporter who uncovered the scandal, Gary Webb, was belittled and harassed so much that he couldn't find work and committed suicide.

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Should the final digit of Pi be discovered, or should the sequence of Pi begin to repeat itself, we will essentially prove that we live in a virtual reality.

>>17639707
I wouldn't blame him TOO specifically, but there is undoubtedly an agenda.

>>17641717
Le 42

XD

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The Business Plot in 1933; A cabal of businessmen tried to get a new cabinet official installed, Marine General Smedley Butler as the "executive officer" directly under the president. The XO would run the day-to-day operations of the country.

However, the Executive Officer would take no orders from the president.

The biggest issue with the plot is that General Butler was as anti-capitalist as you could get. If businessmen were looking to find a person to help them, he's probably the worst possible choice.

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The Roswell crash was a Soviet test flight with two genetically mutated/altered pilots that crashed. Far more plausible. Let's first consider the alien aspect. Aliens can travel light years in space just to what- run out of gas over New Mexico? If aliens can travel interplanetary distances, they won't have things that break down. Period. Secondly, no way in hell they'd be able to be taken in by a bunch of primates like us. They'd have the technology to probably knock a city unconscious, become invisible, whatever. They are too advanced to be taken in by some government thugs in the 50's (?). Now, to say it was the Soviets... I'd say would be a stretch. I find it more likely to just be weather balloon or experimental reconnaissance craft. People make conspiracies out of everything to make life interesting. I'd say if you're gonna buy Roswell, the Soviet story or go home. Aliens make no sense at all.

>>17644414
drugs, weapons, human trafficking, whatever you can think of, Chinese Maffia will supply you with it.

It's simply either that, or they're just good at keeping their business float.

>>17644539
Got spooked

The Lost Colony of Roanoake. Not "burned to the ground", just deserted, and just over 100 people.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Colony

>>17644383
Get a more comfortable bed. Put him in a pool full of gelatin.

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Off the San Diego coast, a carrier had an F-18 with a nuke attached on deck, not properly tied down. Rough seas, and the jet rolled off board. So, somewhere out there, at the bottom of the sea, is a nuclear warhead, and a jet.

>>17644543
Then explain getting older? This cannot be infinite since eventually we will die of old age.

>>17644532
For you because I love you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Z760XNy4VM

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human beings are a genetically engineered slave species.

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A dead body was found off the seashore in Australia, 1948. The person couldn't be IDed, but there was a note found, which said 'Taman Shud' ('finished' in Persian)

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The Zimbabwean war for independence and 'bush wars' in Southern Africa were all funded and secretly started by the colonial powers to destabilise the only competing power, Rhodesia, because it had the United Kingdom's potential but Africa's endless resources.

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North Korea isn't 100% ruled by the Kim family. It's a basic Stalinist military junta with a semi-legitimate figurehead from a family dynasty, to provide continuity and keep the people distracted and loyal to a common cause. The Kim family live in vulgar decadence to keep them sweet and from running away themselves. Apparently the CIA and South Korean intelligence still don't have full knowledge of how the power structure actually works.

The entire country is also a social experiment to see how people cope when faced with different types of shocking hardship. This explains why most people are engaged in pointless busywork, why Pyongyang is top drawer and other parts of the country are a farce.

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China is building phantom cities to lure away the poor and useless, rounding them up, and disposing them.

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If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon grows in your tummy and you explode. Kids in school never really move away. They explode from internal watermelons.

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MH370 was hacked by Russian intelligence services to divert global attention away from the concurrent annexation of Crimea.

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Global warming is actually caused by increased solar activity, signaling the decay of our star. It will soon expand to envelop our planet, killing us all before it finally collapses on itself.

>>17644719
>Hacked by the same guys who took over the Crimea
>Somehow this diverts attention to other guys

So wouldn't that just give them more attention they don't need? This doesn't make any sense at all.

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Mexican Cartels.

They give NO FUCKS! This isn't based on religious ideology or some deep held political belief - they have literally wiped out entire villages all in the name of money.

They leave bodies hanging and headless in public, they will kill your best friends entire bloodline just to make sure you will go along with bribes, they will roast a police station because one cop wants to be a hero and give a member a traffic ticket.

Cartels are demons incarnate.

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We are currently living through what many biologists consider to be the sixth mass extinction that the world has ever seen. This is going to be an interesting puzzle for the species that comes after us. It wasn’t until around the year 1800 that humanity reached a population of 1 billion after thousands and thousands of years. In the 215 years since then, the world population has increased to ~7.2 Billion. That exponential growth has very large and long lasting negative effects on our planet, and will continue to do so until we reach carrying capacity or die off.

>>17644728
Pretty sure if you murder out some cartel members family he will cry like a little baby bitch like his victims.

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nothing is more hilarious than imagining that an alien civilization would travel thousands of light years in order to abduct some cows and sodomize some rednecks.

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Fruits and vegetables feel acute pain when bitten and when you die, you'll be reincarnated to each one of those items you've eaten. Fruit hell is real and you'll be in it.

my dog is the cutest dog ever

>>17643630
>Marine Corps-trained marksmen

he was said to have been a terrible shot

The CIA's Operation Midnight Climax. Luring San Francisco citizens into brothels and dosing them with insane levels of LSD and other psychedelics, then observing the effects and taking notes with one-way mirrors set up in the rooms while the patients tripped there for hours or even days. So, they basically used unwilling US citizens as lab rats.

>>17644728
Just a bunch of apes running rampant an an area bordering on anarchy. Up against a regular, well-trained military, their tactics mean dick and so do their lives.

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Gerber has been around since 1927 making baby food. It has stood the test of time and is one of the most recognizable companies in the world. However, Gerber is holding on to a secret. Gerber knows that their food slowly kills children and is a method to test mind control on babies all around the world. Their products are not safe and must not be consumed by any child. Why is this? Just look at how the company has diversified since their making in 1927. In 1967, they started selling life insurance for parents. Why would this be? They already owned the baby food market, what would be the point of expanding? Truthfully, they could have continued making only baby food and continued making millions (now billions) of dollars. They did so to give parents the opportunity to make money off their children dying.

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>>17644763

The company decided to take a form of population control into its own hands and started making food with chemicals that would slowly poison children. Though they knew it would be challenging, they knew that money talks. They decided to get parents in on it. For customers that bought solely from Gerber, they would have a chance to make money off their children dying. The company makes money by profiting off the sales of their products. Parents make money off the life insurance policies that they set on their kids. It is a win-win for both sides. How else would they have expanded and have over 2.9 million life insurance policies on babies. Also, why would parents be insuring their baby if not to make money off them? Gerber baby insurance policies start from the age of only fourteen days. This is prior to them eating soft food, but the life insurance policy can last up until the child is fourteen years old. This means that parents have an ample amount of time to slowly kill their kids off without it seeming like they have any prior information. This allows Gerber to keep polluting their food without anything seeming wrong. Parents are allowed a free pass because their child has such a long amount of time to die where the parents will still make money off of the policy. Gerber policies also accumulate “cash value” over the course of the child’s life. This means that Gerber and parents are in no rush to kill their children, as Gerber will continue to sell its products and the parents continue to let their policy grow.

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>>17644766

More evidence is right in front of our faces as well. In 1994, Gerber merged with Sandoz Laboratories. Why would they do this? They had a stellar product that had been selling successfully for over sixty years. What would be their purpose of working with a laboratory? There is no clear answer as the entire negotiation happened behind closed doors. One should come to the conclusion that since Gerber was so popular, it would be easy to start putting chemicals into the food on a massive scale. A company with the proud and popular brand name and a pharmaceutical company working together can only have bad results. Sandoz was known in the 90’s for creating primarily drugs for psychological disorders. This means they know the chemicals that damage the brain. It would easy to create food with those dangerous chemicals in them. As previously stated, Gerber has been putting chemicals into their food for a long time, so they would be able to easily adjust to new chemicals in the mid-nineties. In addition, this is the same place where LSD was discovered. So if Gerber had access to these chemicals, they could also be attempting to neurologically destroy people without them even knowing it. This is grounds for large scale testing for dangerous chemicals. These chemicals are especially dangerous for a baby because their body and mind is constantly developing every day. These chemicals, versions of LSD, could be a way to control babies if they grow up and do not die from the chemicals. It could also be an attempt to dumb down the population and allow them to continue to run their monopoly of a company. Also, could these chemicals have an adverse effect that the population does not know about? Could LSD be used for a version of mind control? Certain triggers that a baby experiences when on these drugs could be tapped into later in life to subdue people.

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>>17644767

This would be on a wide scale and eventually Gerber is no longer a company to be trusted. They are taking over slowly by poisoning our baby food. The American public has become a giant test crowd for dangerous chemicals. Population control and mind control are being acted upon by this unsafe company. Their goals are to own the market and then world financially, or take down the human population one child at a time. Do not let your child eat Gerber baby food. If you allow your child to eat this product, you must either be in cahoots with them, or you are naïve and allowing your child to be poisoned slowly.

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Paul Walker's car was hit by a drone missile sent by the government because he was about to expose them

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The Gillette corporation was behind Abe Lincoln's assassination, as he was making beards fashionable and causing a steep drop in their profits.

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My erections are not random. There is someone out there with a remote control that been laughing at me my entire life.

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The US was planning to annex part of southern Ontario in the late 50's and early 60's.

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Nuclear power/weapons are completely made up to keep the population afraid and willing to listen to the government. The US and Russia made up the hoax to control the masses after WW2. Japan went along and even destroyed two of their own cities to save face when they surrendered.

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There is a team of CIA trained autistic monkey's posting in this very thread.

If you pay attention you can tell which posts are by them

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Aramark. They run the company that runs the company that oversees the division that hires the workers that spit in your food.

In the 1970s, 5,000 Scientology church members were involved in infiltrating 136 government agencies, foreign embassies, and private organizations in more than 30 countries to purge documents critical of Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard. This was known as Operation Snow White.

They are the only organization to successfully infiltrate the US government and not get prosecuted for it.

If they're willing to go these lengths, you better believe they have something fishy to hide.

>>17642730

plot twist, it was one of jfks stunt doubles who had terminal anus cancer and was gonna die anyway

>>17644549
so like the reapers from mass effect?

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World War II was coming to an end and nothing more could change the situation of the Third Reich. American special forces had acknowledged that it would be a pity if some people lost their lives, especially those whose knowledge and experience could potentially serve the interests of the United States. As part of Operation Paperclip, they smuggled into the U.S. a group of gifted scientists from the Nazi rocket industry, medicine and chemical weapons divisions.

In the safe arms of Uncle Sam there were, among others, Wernher Von Braun (SS-man, the creator of the famous missile V-2), Kurt Blome (a doctor specializing in biological weapons, which tested their inventions on prisoners in Auschwitz) and Hubertus Strughold (“father of space medicine” who examined the effect of extremely low temperatures on the human body in camp Dachau). In total, 700 German “men of science” found their new home on American soil.

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Aubrey McClendon was indicted for price fixing in Oklahoma. He was a co-founder of Chesapeake Energy. The day of the indictment, he gave a big speech about how he was going to fight it and it was categorically untrue, then about 7 hours later he's dead. He knew something that would have lead to over-leveraged Chesapeake going bankrupt over penalties and fines and they had to end him to save their business.

>>17644414
dude wtf there are two donuts shop where I live and both of them are chinese

Crazy shit is they rarely sell with big competitors like 711 and dunkin donuts being next to them, and they never go out of business

>>17643769

have you ever heard of terraforming? I mean honestly just look at grass, trees, i mean pot plants, coco plants, opiate plants, any kinda weird ass plant or anything in general. just think. it all looks alien desu

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>>17644786

>>17644321

eugenics

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Most name brand toothpaste is lackluster and does long term damage to tooth enamel. The companies are paid off by the dentistry association to help keep them in business. With all the advances in medical science, it seems that dental care and maintenance should have improved, but thanks to a giant conspiracy, we all keep the overlords in business by smearing corrosive and abrasive chemicals on our mouth bones day in and day out.

>>17641670
>>17641673
gold

>>17641789
this is true,2 italian radionerds recorded a female voice that reported that her rocket is catching fire and crashes.

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The failure that occurred at the Japanese nuclear facility after the earthquake and subsequent tsunami was not a result of the natural disasters. The numerous fail safes performed as they should have in preventing any environmental damage. Environmental terrorists saw an opportunity to call nuclear safety into question in front of an international audience. They successfully sabotaged the safety measures at the plant and brought nuclear energy into disrepute. Just as a soldier might sacrifice one man for their platoon, the ecoterrorists polluted a small area to prevent any more nuclear power stations from being built.

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>>17644837

Especially in a country with a long history of being finicky around fallout and nuclear disaster. Just think that other countries, notably India and Germany (though on rivers instead of the open ocean), fielded similar reactor designs. Since the Fukushima catastrophe, both have given up on new construction. Germany, going further than that, like Japan, has given up on nuclear power almost entirely.
Interestingly enough, just a short while later the price of oil pretty much halves itself, pummeling the fuck out of a country like Russia, who has decided to go rogue and smack the shit out of NATO and the rest of the EU over Ukraine. Everything is pointing to the larger conspiracy here, with Malaysian airliners being used as pawns to distract and force cooperation out of the Chinese, and get every major power to stand up to Russia.
It would also appear that collapsing oil prices have done nothing to damage the rest of OPEC, Cuba has been rewarded for its good behavior, and is probably getting some focus that will satiate our slowly growing domestic economy and offset Russian isolation.
We are truly organized, and ruthless in our actions.

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The U.S. Government are major shareholders in Google and Facebook which gives them unrestricted access to massive amounts of personal information. They are also a silent partner in Baskin Robbins because Barack loves his ice cream.

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Circuit City wasn't ever interested in turning a profit, so they must've been a front for some criminal enterprise.

Big box stores tend to inhabit prime real estate. Circuit City was always located in a second-tier location. It was never on a main boulevard by a large shopping center, but tucked around a corner a few miles from everything else.

Big box stores make profit on moving merchandise in quantity, yet Circuit City always had the widest aisles which means less square footage devoted to product to sell.

Big box stores typically place items that either a large number of people are interested in buying or ones that are splurge purchases. Yet Circuit City always seemed to have antiquated TVs, washing machines or vacuum cleaners at the front. Who goes to a big box store and walks away with a washing machine that they didn't already want?

The first "anti-virus" software was a worm named Reaper. Its job was to find and delete the Creeper worm, which was an experimental self-replicating program written by Bob Thomas at BBN in 1971.

>>17641982
I'm Albanian and have visited 4 times soooo....

>>17644868
Having worked at Circuit City until it closed, I can say that none of this was true in my store. My location was in the most recently developed and the most popular shopping area in town.
What killed Circuit City was the move from commission-based sales to strictly retail (particularly on big ticket items live TVs) and trying to make most of their money strictly on the backs of extended warranties and home installations. Having done this, the prices had no chance to stay competitive with the likes of HH Gregg or Best Buy at the time, much less the rise in online shopping.

>>17644612
so essentially, humanity takes solace in the immediate because being a nihilist sucks?
Well no fucking shit Einstein

Bin Laden died in the late 90s during an internal dispute within al-Qaeda. He took the blame for terrorist activity members of his family committed who had too much clout in the oil and construction business to go down for. That's why the wanted posters after the US embassy bombing list "Usama bin Laden" and the ones after 9/11 say "Osama bin Laden". Usama bin Laden is the true terrorist mastermind and Osama bin Laden is his layabout frat boy cousin who hung around playing beach volleyball all day. Osama bin Laden, as everyone knows, was 6'5" and was really fucking good at beach volleyball, but that's never shown in the videos he released because the only actor Usama bin Laden could find who would go along with this and impersonate his cousin for a paycheque was regular-sized and and had no volleyball skills to speak of.
The actor from the videos was accidentally killed in an airstrike in 2011 and Usama padded a few pockets with his oil money to pass it off as the real thing. However because the public would get suspicious when they saw a regular-sized corpse and not a tall, gangly one with sick volleyball skills, they quietly threw him into the sea.

The year was 1848. The United States had just won the Mexican-American War and acquired California, a fertile land with many resources. However, it was sparsely populated, having only around 15,000 people in a few areas, many of them natives or foreigners, which had to be cleared. If the United States wanted its prime new land and resources developed, it needed to get massive amounts of people out there, especially laborers, cheaply and quickly.
So they engineered a gold rush.
Reports of meager amounts of gold were inflated and hyped by the United States government, who issued frequent glowing reports to the newspapers, who then published bold headlines of GOLD FOUND IN CALIFORNIA. People read the papers, drank the hype, and paid their own way to the promised land. Once there, they mined the easy gold, then started to violently push the foreigners and natives off the land. Still, few people could find enough to make a decent living and had to find other work, like cutting lumber, building trading posts, or farming.
By 1854, over 300,000 people had settled California at their own expense. Trade networks were developed and land was made productive. This propaganda technique was clearly effective at moving laborers great distances on their own dollar. So, the United States used it again when they had vast amounts of newly acquired land full of resources but few people, namely after the purchase of Alaska in 1867.

Interestingly enough, I've seen a video in which Dr. Michio Kaku talks about the possibility of toilets being connected to the internet to run regular tests on urine and feces to check for proteins emitted by cancer colonies. If you feel a pain or lump in your breast, it is too late. There are billions of cancer cells. Supposedly with these new toilets, we'd be able to identify someone with as little as 100 cancerous cells in their body. This could be made cheap enough to be affordable by most in 10-15 years following Moore's Law.

>>17644871
Intredesting.

Not sure if true, but definitely intarstastimg.

>>17644852
>barack

Kek

The presidents are puppets mostly. They have no say on inner-government desicions. Obama knows nothing.

Obama was an experiment. US lost.

The Freemasons founded several religions to gain economic and political power, and to diminish the power of the Catholic Church. Among those religions were: Seventh day adventism, Jehovah's witnesses, Mormonism and Scientology.

>>17644615
2 Gunshots to the back of the head
>suicide

D. B. Cooper is a media epithet popularly used to refer to an unidentified man who hijacked a Boeing 727 aircraft in the airspace between Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington, on November 24, 1971, extorted $200,000 in ransom (equivalent to $1,170,000 in 2015), and parachuted to an uncertain fate. Despite an extensive manhunt and an ongoing FBI investigation, the perpetrator has never been located or positively identified. The case remains the only unsolved air piracy in American aviation history.

The suspect purchased his airline ticket using the alias Dan Cooper, but because of a news media miscommunication he became known in popular lore as "D. B. Cooper". Hundreds of leads have been pursued in the ensuing years, but no conclusive evidence has ever surfaced regarding Cooper's true identity or whereabouts. Numerous theories of widely varying plausibility have been proposed by experts, reporters, and amateur enthusiasts. The discovery of a small cache of ransom bills in 1980 triggered renewed interest but ultimately only deepened the mystery, and the great majority of the ransom remains unrecovered.

While FBI investigators have stated from the beginning that Cooper probably did not survive his risky jump, the agency maintains an active case file—which has grown to more than 60 volumes—and continues to solicit creative ideas and new leads from the public. "Maybe a hydrologist can use the latest technology to trace the $5,800 in ransom money found in 1980 to where Cooper landed upstream," suggested Special Agent Larry Carr, leader of the investigation team since 2006. "Or maybe someone just remembers that odd uncle."

>>17644913
The Freemasons founded the US, the biggest political power since GB.

>>17644915
obv killed himself with a derringer

That there is an ancient god imprisoned in the Pentagon that is built to resemble a pentagram just to trap him. He is fed with victims of traffic accidents.

>>17644923
So he was just letting out some air back in 2001?

McDonald's exists only to sell coca-cola products, the food is an afterthought.

conspiracy Consensus Reality

We never went to the moon. We went to the moon, and then stopped We still have a bustling moon base.

Oswald didn't shoot Kennedy. Oswald Shot Kennedy Kennedy was never shot.

Aliens exist, and have been abducting people for years. Aliens don't exist. Aliens exist, and we've been abducting them for years.

The NWO want to take over the world, and enslave mankind. There is no NWO The NWO already took over with pretty
decent intentions, but was blisteringly incompetent, and failed to secure a utopia.

Lizard people colonized earth, and live under the Denver international airport. There are no Lizard people. We keep the abducted aliens under the Toronto international airport.

Obama is a Kenyan Obama is American. Obama is actually a woman.

Seth Rogen came from another dimension to kill Will Farrell and impersonate him to observe human behavior but failed to do so and became an okay actor forgetting his plans after a few films he played a role in.

>>17643883
I would sell myself to extremely rich people if I had the chance.

"Polybius" was a Tempest-style game was released to the public by the CIA in 1981, it caused players to go insane, causing them to suffer from intense stress, horrific nightmares, and even suicidal tendencies. A short time after its release, it supposedly disappeared without a trace. No evidence for the existence of such a game has ever been discovered.

God created the world five minutes ago. He created everything to seem like there was a past, including a lifetime of false memories in each of our minds.

The Pentagon was built by humans in the 1970s to counteract the Pyramids, which were built by aliens thousands of years ago and as such was sending the cosmic alignment of the earth out of sync. The Pentagon was built by humans to realign the earth with humanity and put it a "human sphere".

The Pentagon was attacked during 9/11 by aliens, which the media said were terrorists flying planes. The aliens wanted to destroy the pentagon to shift the cosmic alignment back to the pyramids.

JFK died a week before the "assassination", in a drunk driving accident with a hooker in the car. The Dallas thing was setup by the CIA and Secret Service to preserve the honor of the President and the sanctity of the office.

>>17644958
This actually sounds a lot more plausible than most of the other conspiracy theories desu..

>>17641234
My world history teacher once convinced me that the smurfs were a show hardcore in favor of communism. All the men worked very hard together to share and have a functioning community, the wise old bearded man was their leader, all things like selfishness and individualism were discouraged. Smurfette was blonde, stupid, and petty and only concerned with materialistic things, and therefore portrayed negatively.

According to her, soon as the cold war started they quit airing that shit in the US

Blockhead is the name of a theoretical computer system invented as part of a thought experiment by philosopher Ned Block, which appeared in a paper titled Psychologism and Behaviorism (though Block does not name the computer in the paper). In this paper, Block argues that the internal mechanism of a system is important in determining whether that system is intelligent, and also claims to show that a non-intelligent system could pass the Turing test.

Block asks us to imagine a conversation lasting any given amount of time. He states that, given the nature of language, there are a finite number of syntactically and grammatically correct sentences that can be used to start a conversation. From this follows the point that there is a limit to how many "sensible" responses can be made to this first sentence, and then again to the second sentence, and so on until the conversation ends.

Block then asks us to imagine a computer which had been programmed with all these sentences—in theory if not in practice. From this, Block argues that such a machine could continue a conversation with a person on any topic, because the computer would be programmed with every sentence that it was possible to use. On this basis, the computer would be able to pass the Turing test despite the fact (according to Block) that it was not intelligent.

Block says that this does not show that there is only one correct internal structure for generating intelligence, but simply that some internal structures do not generate intelligence.

The argument is related to John Searle's Chinese room.

A recent objection to the Blockhead argument is Hanoch Ben-Yami (2005), who agrees that Block's machine lacks intelligence, but compares its answers to a poetic dialogue (in which one man is whispered romantic poetry to recite to his would-be lover), as it only answers what it has been told to answer in advance by its programmers.

The Jewish elite are brainwashing white people into racemixing, so they would be easier to control. That's why the jews in the EU are helping millions of immigrants into Europe.

The Kessler syndrome.

The idea is that space debris can stay in orbit for a long time. we have tons of satellites up there, but they rarely collide, and when they do most of the debris gradually burns up in the atmosphere. But as technology increases and cost to launch satellites decreases we have more clutter up there.

Like a nut that is now travelling at 18,000 mph and smashes into your rocket sledge, causing it in turn to malfunction and explode. It isn't really the big stuff, it's the stuff that's too small to track that needs to be worried about, the little space bullets that are so light they'll only get pulled back to earth in 20,000 years.

The idea is that if there were a big enough collision in space, it could potentially cascade into more collisions, which would in turn cascade into more collisions, etc etc. This could effectively make launching satellites (or any manned craft intended for extended stays in space) impossible, sending us into a sort of dark ages again. The cloud of debris could last for centuries or more, and the more satellites we launch the more likely it is to happen. yikes.

>>17641786
You're retarded. Why the fuck wouldn't they just wait? He was already so old and would have died fairly soon anyway.
What made them so desperate that the best plan to make money they could come up with was to orchestrate an entire assassination while keeping it secret and then make a movie about it?

>>17645065
thats why its a theory you insipid piece of shit

The great silence (i.e. absence of SETI signals from alien civilizations) is perhaps the strongest indicator of all that high relativistic velocities are attainable and that everybody out there knows it.

The sobering truth is that relativistic civilizations are a potential nightmare to anyone living within range of them. The problem is that objects traveling at an appreciable fraction of light speed are never where you see them when you see them (i.e., light-speed lag). Relativistic rockets, if their owners turn out to be less than benevolent, are both totally unstoppable and totally destructive. A starship weighing in at 1,500 tons (approximately the weight of a fully fueled space shuttle sitting on the launchpad) impacting an earthlike planet at "only" 30 percent of lightspeed will release 1.5 million megatons of energy -- an explosive force equivalent to 150 times today's global nuclear arsenal...

I'm not going to talk about ideas. I'm going to talk about reality. It will probably not be good for us ever to build and fire up an antimatter engine. According to Powell, given the proper detecting devices, a Valkyrie engine burn could be seen out to a radius of several light-years and may draw us into a game we'd rather not play, a game in which, if we appear to be even the vaguest threat to another civilization and if the resources are available to eliminate us, then it is logical to do so.

>>17645080

The game plan is, in its simplest terms, the relativistic inverse to the golden rule: "Do unto the other fellow as he would do unto you and do it first."...

When we put our heads together and tried to list everything we could say with certainty about other civilizations, without having actually met them, all that we knew boiled down to three simple laws of alien behavior:

1.THEIR SURVIVAL WILL BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN OUR SURVIVAL. If an alien species has to choose between them and us, they won't choose us. It is difficult to imagine a contrary case; species don't survive by being self-sacrificing.

2.WIMPS DON'T BECOME TOP DOGS. No species makes it to the top by being passive. The species in charge of any given planet will be highly intelligent, alert, aggressive, and ruthless when necessary.

3.THEY WILL ASSUME THAT THE FIRST TWO LAWS APPLY TO US.

>>17644779
They predict drone strikes

>>17645164
so basically a modern-day Gravity's Rainbow

>>17645183
that'sthejoke.avi

>>17644579
Not really. We could have just made new electronics.

>>17644920
Both barrels don't fire at once

>>17644639
They just couldn't survive on their own and interbred with the natives to survive

>>17645332
obv a reflex action

>>17645037
no shit sherlock...

>>17645077
Why post a retarded theory? Don't shitpost, /x/ already has plenty of that. And try not to get so buttmad when someone points out your idiocy.

>>17645354
jesus christ shut the fuck up you insufferable retard. all conspiracy theories are retarded as shit. stop being a faggot

>>17645366
>>17645366
>all conspiracy is shit
you are on the wrong board mate.
also, do you really believe that your goverment is honest with you?