Greentext Stories Thread

Does anyone have that anon who had the plague doctor helping him?

Have any of you ever written a greentext story that gets saved and passed around a lot? Does it make you proud that everyone liked it so much or do you cringe a little inside and wonder why anyone bothered to save it in the first place?

>>17608927
I've had a few of my replies show up on threads, not on /x/ specifically though. I wouldn't think much about it, it's unlikely active could prove I wrote it. Ice written smut for other boards, but if that ever comes to haunt me I can deny it. Two way street though, I can never prove I wrote something I'm really proud of. But if I am that proud of it, I think I'd hold onto it and publish it if it's that worthwhile

>>17609032
I hate auto correct so good dam much

>>17605821
is there a cont to that shit?

>>17607740
Bumping for this

>>17605794
>spoopy greentext story

It's not even spoopy at all, it just hit me in the feels.

>>17605794
>posthumorously
Awarded after his death was no longer really funny

Anyone have the story of the Lolita girl known as Baby?

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>>17609707
Save it friend, it's yours

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>>16589035
>be in college
>stumble upon website that says the real Jews are actually the minorities who are still oppressed worldwide.
>share this with someone who lives on my floor who I think is a minority like me
>they end up being a Nigerian lizard that practices Satanic vodoun, an Illuminati agent
>later that day they walk up to me as I was getting on the elevator, as if they were waiting, or could sense me
>they lean into me and say, "Oh, you look sick!?" in a cute/surprised voice
>I'm just like w/e go on w/my day
>Later that day I go to my room and roll up a joint, smoke it,
>halfway through the joint I feel like something is attacking me,
>I suddenly fall to my knees and am unable to stand
>I suddenly become paranoid because one of the things the Nigerian told me from the conversation was, "thanks for telling me about your father", and the way he was talking he was boasting of wealth etc.
>I try calling my parents to see if they are OK
>all calls go instantly to voicemail, which isn't normal for them
>I had thoughts of jumping out of the window but I knew they were not my own
>plus my parents are evil as shit so I was able to imagine life without them
>regardless, I climbed onto my bed and while face up, I prayed to God for one of the first times in my life
>A few minutes later, I get a loud knock on my door
>It's the same Nigerian kid, except this time, his eyes were black and shadowy
>without saying a word he attempts to enter my room
>I hold out my arm and step out with him, closing the door behind me, all based off instinct, and say "No, this is my domain."
>He continues to play cute and says, "thanks for telling me about your family".
>Later I bump into him and tell him, "You meet everyone for a reason"
>He seemed confused, "What?"
>I told him, "I'm saved now."
>He starts stepping backwards uttering no under his breath
>It was like he thought the world was ending or something.
pic attached is an excerpt from our conversation.

>>17610163
>cont'd
>I get home for winter break and my parents are acting funny
>watching me, asking me who I'm talking to, as if I am not supposed to talk to anyone
>spying on me and my neighbors
>I confide in my parents (mistake) and tell them what I think is going on, me being targeted
>they "don't believe me"
>they invite some dead bitch to the house to try and kill me for Christmas break
>I read a prayer to her from the Qur'an on Christmas morning and she assaults me in my own house, punching me twice in the jaw
>I turn my back and continue reading the prayer as she claws at me like a demon *cough*
>my parents come upstairs in the dead girls defense saying that I'm scaring her and that I'm crazy lol
>my grandma, tells them to fuck off and let me finish reading the prayer - she's from the islands so she knows about voodoo and devils
>as I get to the last verse of the prayer, the lizard bitch starts backing up towards the room she came from and tries to slam the door shut
>I stop the door with my foot and finish the prayer
>she collapses onto an air mattress and stays in the room for over a day...
>three days later the attacks continue and my parents let the dead bitch stay in the house for longer
>she barely eats food and smokes cigarettes and drinks hard liquor constantly
>she touches everything in the house that I use and would eat
>they keep attempting to cook for me to try to make me sick
>I attempt to read the prayer to them again, as I realized that my entire family, except my grandma, was against me
>this time they pull out their iPhone's and try to zone me out, my older sister plays a song and sings it extremely fast as if she was possessed
>I eventually grabbed all three of their iPhone 6's later that night and threw them into the fucking pool and read the prayer again with my grandma
>the dead bitch literally jumps into the pool to save her iPhone 6, as if her entire life force is stored on the device
>she drowns in the pool trying to save her phone

>>17610167
>cont'd

>the police arrive on the scene, only responding to complaint of criminal mischief, the phone being broken
>they literally resurrect the dead bitch and she presses charges on me
>the whole time I'm sitting down because my ankle was sprained during the commotion, they were chasing me trying to tackle me while I was throwing their phones out
>about 10 police officers were invited into my house just for me, when I recited the prayer to them, half of them left
>the other half stayed behind, attempting to get me to sign my life away and be taken to the "hospital"
>"if you go to the hospital, we won't arrest you" is what they basically said for two hours while I sat down, unamused
>they kill people in the hospital so I declined, and attempted to grab a warm jacket because jail is cold
>the police follow me to my room and handcuff me as I'm putting the jacket on
>thank God I got PR bond, because my parents really would've let me rot in jail
>when I was released, I was convinced by my family to be voluntarily checked into a mental hospital
>while inside, psychics who were also patients in the hospital, gave me insight into my situation
>i learned that my father was not my real father (we look nothing alike so it was easy to believe)
>I learned that my uncle was my real father
>I learned that my parents were both devils, corpses that were reanimated
>I learned that Jesus is still alive in spirit and in flesh on earth
>upon my release from the crazy house and my first "diagnosis" of BiPolar, I told my dad that he wasn't my father
>he kicks me out of the house
>I end up living with my uncle for three months, sleeping on a couch in a roach infested apartment
>learn that my uncle went through the same shit with his immediate family
>his wife divorced him, and his "family" put him in the crazy house and stole nearly all of his possessions and made him move to a random apartment, 36 miles away from our house so that he could starve to death on SSI

>>17610173
>cont'd
>the whole time I'm with my uncle, we are both being monitored, by our neighbor who is a crack smoking devil who tries to get my uncle to smoke crack (former addict)
>I end up moving back home and things are relatively calm until yet again, next Christmas, an attempt was made on my life
>I begin to hear voices..
>I was tricked into thinking that the voice I was hearing was Allah and I ended up breaking all of the mirrors in my house and getting sent to the ER
>while in the ER, I was beaten by staff, drugged, and made an attempt to escape where I made it out of the hospital completely naked with staff members chasing me the whole way
>if you know how supernaturally fast some devils can be, you would know how fucking epic this was, I fucking dusted them
>I ended up going back into the emergency room as I had nowhere to run and my phone was already confiscated, and it's not like I can call my parents
>I am "sedated" again, this time I'm knocked completely unconscious
>they drain my blood and attempt to turn me into a lizard, a zombie, a Jinn
>I have a dream where I'm in Heaven, and I meet Abraham, who looks surprisingly similar to my Uncle
>He calls me son and shows me a painting he made
>I wake up back in the same mental hospital I went to the year before
>I stay there for an entire month
>the staff and the doctors attempt to poison me by denying me my prescribed medication, keeping me up for nine days straight
>they even changed my diagnosis from BiPolar, even though no one knew why I had my episode or what occurred, apparently being observed talking to yourself is grounds enough to be labeled schizophrenic
>while there, I learned how to get high with my mind via meditation in order to make it through the pain I felt from my ER visit and spiritual attacks I was facing while in the hospital
>they force medication onto me via injections and nearly 8-9 staff members have to attack me and hold me down for me to take it

>>17610184
Thats sick dude!

>>17610220
life is crazy
I got a new doctor who made a wtf face when I told him that I was prescribed risperdal
finally getting off of this poison

>>17610161
This is my new fetish

>>17607740
I have it somewhere, just give me a minute.

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>>17607740
>>17609662

Here

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prty spoop

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>>17610161
>tfw you will never have a sociopathic lolita girl for a waifu

Anyone got the one with the military guy who has to kill other solders who get exposed to a deadly virus and is currently living in hiding after a doctor makes a deal with him to get each other out alive?

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>>17611403
Ok, this kind of fucked with me on a whole level I wasn't expecting.

>>17610943
Holy shit, that gave me 10/10 spooks. good shit

>>17610161
This is extremely amusing, kinda read this imagining Baby was Stocking from psg

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>>17611403
>The Greentext story you posted years ago is popular enough for people to rip off and try and pass off as their own

Feels Goodman

>>17612231
The pacing for the original was perfect.

This one is too much shitty details

>>17612231
>>17612293
Please can post the original ? Sorry for bad English

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>Be me 3 days ago
>very tired from work
>sleeping, wake up around 10.
>all lights close, my body feels numb, can't move, starts groaning, suddenly a very painful feeling come from both my hands
>starts screaming because I can't move my hands
>finally manage to flail my hands
>hit "something"
>purposely hit it again and again
>something groan back and starts moving away
>open eyes, room lights is off, see a tinge of white skin and eye reflection in the edge of my vision.
>stop screaming, run outside.
>see humanlike bite marks on both my hands

next day
>can't sleep because too spooked
>still end up sleeping, wake up around 1 AM
>same shit again, body is numb, my hands still hurt.
>this time my lights are on
>wasn't afraid to open my eyes, can only open it slightly, body is still numb.
>for some reason I kick my foot
>hit something
>see dog near my feet growling.
>I don't own a dog.
>dog walk backwards to the small window on the upper part of my wall like spiderman.
>go back to sleep.

next day
>same shit again, lights are off this time, got myself a dimlight lamp.
>wake up 3 am
>body is numb again, fuck, ready myself for the spooks
>open eyes again, sameshit, too numb to fully open, scan the room then I hear it.
>oink oink
>it's a pig alright, their's a fucking pig next to me, sitting on my bed.
>finally manage to broke off the numbness on my arms.
>push pig off my bed
>pig starts oinking scared and run away, could hear it's feet scratching the floor.
>still can't fully open my eyes for some reason
>pig returns then oink on my face.
>I couldn't see it, by I hear the pig run away and went inside one of my cabinets or drawers.
>few minutes later, could finally get up from my bed
>turn on lights
>look at the drawers, suddenly I feel anxious when I look at the largest one
>starts thinking if I should open it, it might be a door to my hell or wonderland.
>nah fuck it.
>go to sleep.

>>17611321
honestly i hate that this is so true, this is my literal dream type of girl....

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>>17605813
>1.86 MB

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>>17612455

>>17610806
That guardian angel

>>17606810
>underrated

>>17610161
>getting ready to go over
>she knows about the attack
>tell mom not to cockblock me
>dad agrees
>she gives up
>dad drives me over to her house

Hilarious.

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>>17605794
>spoopy
The feels man :(

>>17610161
Requester here, much appreciated, needed to obtain it after hard drive went kill

>>17612467
I'm sure youll find someone out there who will make you fear for your life

>>17614444
I'm sure youll find someone out there who will appreciate your quads

>>17614444
Quads r spooky

>>17606810
That's what got people angry?

Seriously? There are more disturbing games out there than this. Dumb story.

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>>17609689
Kek anon.

>>17610161
Is this a joke? Loser likes younger sexually abused girl and gets scared when he realizes she is fucked up for talking to him (no shit). Wow, you guys really are that dumb eh?

>>17606810
if there was an actual game like this, I'm sure people would buy it. People love creepy and unsettling shit like this.

>>17610806
I'll tell you what he is.

A fucking bro.

That asshole should leave a note out saying "thank you" instead of just spraying spaghetti everywhere.

>>17615031
How do you know she is sexually abused?

Am I missing something?

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>>17612231
>>17612406
>>17612328

Here's your OC boss

>>17610161
I have the weirdest fright boner right now.

>>17605794
Bump.

>>17615031

Why do you have to be one of those faggots? Can't you just enjoy a story. Jesus fucking christ

>>17617189
Is he right?

Was she sexually abused or some shit?

>>17610943
tfw i know latin and i would have looked up

>>17605794
>story uses military jargon

into the trash it goes

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Every time...

>>17617205
>childlike mode of dress
>extreme detachment
>violent outbursts/behavior
>emotionally distant
>is familiar with penises, doesn't like to look at them
>associates sex with affection despite previously mentioned dislike for dick


not altogether a concrete case, but there's evidence to suggest that's the case.

>>17619657
Get Mathew McCaughnaheygyhey on the horn, we got us a script.

>be working counter at Barnes and Noble in rural Idaho
>coworker tells me about driving home from friends house in the middle of the night
>sees a big, big dog on the side of the road
>about to pass it, it fucking stands up as tall as a person
>screams and cries and speeds home

>>17605798
>tfw it's your dream to go hiking in Montana

Fucking FUCK

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>>17605794

>>17610163
>>17610167
>>17610173
>>17610184
what in the absolute fuck did i just read

>>17620127
Yeah I thought the same thing. Easily one of the stranger things I have ever read on /x/

>>17619657
It started good, if it was shorter and the "lol demon dog, we shot em twice and it was fine" was removed it would be a solid 7-8/10

>>17615235
I actually tell this story at parties. It freaks people out since it's so realistic.

>>17610163
>>17610167
>>17610173
>>17610184
Dude, you have schizophrenia man. I also think that your schizophrenia is brought on by shitty circumstances that are involved in your family life. Good luck to you dude.

>>17606810
If the monster was impervious to damage, how do the wolves kill him?

>>17620588
Huh, that's actually a very good question.
Maybe he stops being invincible when he goes into suicidal mode, but then you can just kill him.
Good thinking.

>>17605813
This is the fakest shit. Why is it every story is about a marine?Is 4chan just overflowing with marines?
That has become the sign to me the person who wrote the story is full of shit.

For every one soldier their are 10 supporting jobs in the military. There is a higher population with uncool jobs yet we never hear abput them.
I've met multiple people who were in the military in real life, and not a single one was special forces, a marine, or had any other cool job.

My dad was a engineer who fixed tanks and military vehicles in the middle of battles, I met a woman who refilled airplanes for the airforce, and I met a man who ordered supplies and hadled stock.

>He once ordered train tracks to bullshit around because nothing he ordered ever arrived. The next week his commander was walking around camp shouting "What the fuck are we suppose to do with these train tracks!?" "Who orderd these!"
He was never caught.

>>17611393
This sounds interesting as all hell, but nobodies replied to it yet. Bringing it back up incase it was skipped over, anybody got this?

>>17620796
My cousin is actually a marine.

>>17620050
>>about to pass it, it fucking stands up as tall as a person
>>screams and cries and speeds home

So the dog human screamed and cried and sped home? I thought it was by the side of the road not a car

Did your coworker stop, let it get in, said where his home is, and the entire time force the driver to speed while the dog screamed and cried?

Where did the dog live and why did he need to get home so quickly?

Was thinking about making this into it's own thread, but then I saw this thread and it fits perfectly.

> be me
> little 8 yr old
> get into some kids show about hunting ghosts with a few of my friends.
> Actors go into Alcatraz and shit and point at shadows
> see this and want to become a ghost hunter
> look around for a place to hunt in
> I live in a suburban town, literally no abandoned houses, spooky neighborhoods, nothing
> Finally decide on a tiny ass playground at the end of this back street like 200 meters from my home
> Get group of a friends together and we all scooter down to this playground
> get there and realize how overgrown this shit is.
> no clue wtf type of plant it was, but this whole place was covered in what looked like 6 foot tall grass.
> friends chicken out and say they're gonna stay on the other side of the fence "in case a ghost comes"
> machoman.jpg initiated
> tell them all that I'm not scared, and walk right into the park
> not only am I 8 yrs old, but I have scoliosis, so I'm practically 3 inches tall at the time.
> literally can see nothing but this plant all around me
> combine a lack of vision with an already on edge 8 yr old
> panic initiated in only 3 seconds
> start running around through this tiny little playground hoping to find the fence.
> this playground is no bigger than maybe 10 feet across
> not paying attention to anything anymore, literally just running
> hit my shin on a rock or some shit, hard
> fall flat on my back
> look around for what I tripped on.
> man is standing in the midst of plants, staring at me
> fuck.png
> get up onto my feet and try to skedaddle
> man picks me up and faces me in a different direction, then walks away
> run forward and immediately I see that he put me facing directly towards the open gate.
> friends never saw anyone go into the playground after me
> literally just tell my parents we scootered around a parking lot

To this day I have no clue who this man was, or what he was doing there.

>>17620796
I don't know what you think the Marines are, but they're not all special forces. A lot of posts I've seen here involve 29 Palms, which is in the middle of the fucking desert. Marines arguably spend more time out in the shithole desert than civilians because there's not much reason for civilians to be out there.
It also bears mentioning in other stories because it lends credence to what you're saying.

>>17620992
Your guardian angel. My mom had something similar happen to her where she was lost in some woods when she was like 9 or 10. Out of nowhere came a fancy-looking car with a man sitting on the back seat alone, telling her to come in. The peculiar thing about him was that his voice echoed as if he was speaking through speakers all around her head, and his mouth didn't move at all while he communicated. He motioned to the driver to start the car, they drove for a bit, and the man let my mom out close to where she lived at the time and left without saying a word.

>>17610184
Did it stopped since mars the 22 anon? this important.

>>17620050
>be me
>walking along the roadside wanting to get to 711 to buy slushie
>drop wallet
>dark as fuck
>get on all fours to feel around for it
>headlights of some car gives me enough light to find it
>stand back up to get slushie

>>17620445
The liquid was gazzoline, that will get you bitches^^

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I am the Clockwork Man and I like /x/

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>>17621556
I just realized this one was already posted, I apologize

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That is all, hope you people enjoyed

>>17621631
Play Purple Rain!

>>17621107
kek

high quality bread

Does anyone have the greentext of the guy who got a tour and went in some haunted woods in like germany or someplace, and by the end of it hes talking like nothing bad happened, or the really long one of the kid who put a photo in a ballon and got a reply back, only to realize the photo he got back was of him

>>17621792
That photo in a balloon story, that's part of the reddit nosleep series Footsteps or Penpal or whatever right? You can buy that story as a book now, got novelised and everything

>>17621801
shit thats pretty cool, i remember reading that when the guy first wrote it and was pretty spooked

>>17621811
The whole story is amazing on its own, the book fleshes it out some more, its a surprisingly long and good read, it's like a fiver on amazon last I checked, it'd be right up your alley by the seems of it

>>17621821
That's really cool. I remember reading that a few years back and being seriously spooked. Do you know if the author has done anything since then?

>>17621857
Not as far as I'm aware, no.

Might be for the best though, I don't think anything could quite top his first outing, and people would constantly compare it to the original too.

Still, if he makes more, I'm buying it as soon as possible.

>>17610943
> I am dead I must therefore speak in Latin

>one night,5 years ago or so
>I was 16 at the time,and lived with my parents
>our house was an old doublewide trailer,and nearby was this ravine,and out back was a pump house roughly 1/4 mile away
>enough description,it was 2AM and I was at my desk,on /o/ or something like that
>it was hot that day,had blinds open to let in cold air as well as my windows
>look up from my screen for a second or two,see this tall,white figure about 500 yards away standing in the ravine
>look down back at my screen,headphones,can't hear a thing but now I hear static buzzing through the headphones
>look up,it's closer.
>it closely resembles the Rake,but with a creepier smile full of jagged teeth and bright blue,almost laser-like eyes
>it looks me in the eyes,odd given that the window is 7 feet above the ground
>hear breathing,try to close my blinds but I smell the off scent of rotting flesh and skunk
>suddenly,the blinds open by themselves,the fucker twisting it's head at a 45 degree angle to the right,the static in my headphones getting louder and louder
>panic a little,remember I have an old revolver in my desk drawer and I pull it out,cock it and aim it at it's neck.
>I start to notice all the little tears,scars and veins in it's neck
>fire off a round,but it seems to miss
>take my headphones off,now spooked as hell
>it keeps staring,speaking in this distorted dialect but I hear my name in it's speaking
>the stare makes me weary,I slump in my chair and wake up the next morning with scratches on my upper arm
>the scratches hurt like utter fucking hell,my blinds torn up too
>walk out,explain it to my parents
>they believe me,because all the cats were doing crazy shit all around the house all night.

That's it for now,/x/.

>>17621949
>>Fires a revolver in room
>>Parents dont give a shit

Come on man

>>17622050
They're heavy sleepers.Really heavy sleepers.

>>17621949
at least put in some effort to make it believable you lazy fuck

>>17610161
What the fuck was up with the bears? Was her parents/victims inside the bears???

>>17622267
Given that I live 5 miles away from town,there's bound to be some creepy shit.Even been chased by a 4 legged strider-looking thing while out for a drive one night a while back.

Man, this thread is going slow
Read everything here so far, good stuff but we need more, man. I need my creepy hit.

>>17622342
Wow, wow. This guys next life is not gonna be really great.

>>17610163
that guy speaks some truth, as for you poster, you need to see a doctor, I'm 100% serious

>>17622096
>implying you weren't a heroin baby

>>17610161
A Robot getting laid is the most unrealistic thing ever posted in one of these threads.

>>17621949

Shut the fuck up.

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Anyone got that story about some guy that goes with his family to visit their Redneck cousins and in the middle of the night he sees a creature dig up his dead cousin's grave though the window?

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I guess I'll post

>>17621587
aussie spooks are best spooks

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FUCK IT

>>17619622
poor babby 2 many long confuzzling words 4 u

Fuck off.

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>>17605794
not really spooky, just hit me in the feels

>/b/ me
>working the night shift at gas station
>my shift starts at about 12pm and ends at 6am
>located in a pretty rural area so you only get about 7-8 customers a night
>only get 3 customers this night, however
>it's about 3am and I couldn't wait to finish my shift
>car parks outside, was a beat-up estate car
>guy gets out
>it was hard to see what he looked like but he was about the average male height, in his 50s, had scrubby hair and was balding and he also had a spotty face as if he was a meth addict
>this is where I shit bricks though
>instead of going over to the door her walks over the to the window next to where I was at
>I of course get freaked out
>he was giving me a thousand-yard stare so I point him to the door and ask if he needs help
>he pulls out a fucking knife and starts scratching at the window with it leaving big marks
>I call the police because there was no way I was staying with this creep for much longer
>he clearly gets annoyed by this and becomes more aggressive
>starts hammering the window with his fists while screaming and head butting the window
>fuckthisshitimout.png
>run into the back room and lock the door
>banging eventually stops
>feels like an eternity until the police arrive
>when they arrive they ask me to come outside
>the shitty car is gone but something strange happened to mine and I'll never forget it to this day
>big scratches on all the windows and the driver's side window is smashed
>the same knife is lying on my bloody seat
>I made this story up

>>17615031
Wow, you really had to work to twist that into a victim narrative. Go be a paternalistic faggot somewhere else

>>17612455
>First night its RussianSleepExperiment.jpg
>Second night its a dog
>Third night its a pig
Rolling for horse next.

>>17610161
is he kill?

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>>17605794

>>17623079

I wasn't expecting to laugh this hard.

>>17621107
>be me
>walking through the grass looking for people to eat
>dark as fuck
>headlights of a car light up a guy on the side of the road
>think "sweet, that's at least two people"
>car drives off as I close in and the driver is screeching like a retard
>it's so loud and high pitched that it bypasses my ears and fuck up my vision
>lose the guy by the road
>go home and get yelled at by skinwalker wife
>i should have married debby

Stay alive good doggo

>>17621597
Great one,but the ending kind ruined it he he wanted it to be realistic.

If not,10/10

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Read this a couple of days ago.
Worth it

>>17622745
moar!

>>17611393
This sounds cool af
Someone post it please

>>17611393
Seconding the request.

>>17611393
>>17620842
>>17623571
. i read it a lot of times and ill find it in my collection of greentexts.i just cant find it and i never seemed to save it from my x folder

Its 3 am where i live
Like anons goddamn
Im turning 25 this year
Im living by myself and i know i dont have to do anything tomorrow so i just stay wide awake reading these creepy as fuck stories
When am i going to get my life on track, when does it all start, when does it starts to get interesting

>>17623770
Mfw i was the only one who didnt get a (you) even tho i also asked for it

>>17620089
Lived there for 9 years m8, twas a good ride. Last time I went alone, shit was creepy.

>>17621582
I didnt find this one spoopy
Just kek'd, the only way he could get some pussy was if his mother were to commit suicide

>>17605798
Bozo, MT was a cool place, or at least the mountains around it. Other than that the city sucks butt. I ran cross country up there a few times during high school.

>>17623860
What high school?

>>17623783
Who the fuck cares you can get a wife and kids when your 40.

>>17621631
Cheers love

>>17623079
Well, that's fucking amazing.

anyone have that story of that guy that fucked around with ghosts and one followed him home. I think he lived in a place called Guam or something like that

>>17605821
>>17609498

All the cont. I could find.

http://m.hidesertstar.com/mobile/news/article_7ac765d2-01fb-11e6-ad58-e37b7a63366e.html

>Corwin’s body was found in an abandoned mine shaft outside of Twentynine Palms

I think this is a real happening.

>>17624092
Cont

Also the posting date was Aug. 8 and the body was found Aug 16

>>17624101
Aug 5* posting date

>be ausfag
>live in a rural-ish sort of town on the coast
>work in the next township over
>between the two townships is a national park
>really crappy roads connecting the two.
>only establishment in the next township is the pub where I work
>driving back from work one night, around 1AM
>had been raining 15 minutes prior, so the roads were slippery as fuck
>notice a car partly on the road, looks like they've lost control and crashed into a tree
>drivers side door all kinds of fucked up, slightly ajar
>pull up beside car, put my hazards on
>see someone unconscious in the drivers seat
>feel pretty uneasy, first time I've been the first responder in a crash
>can't call cops or ambos yet because no cell signal inbetween the two towns
>as I'm walking over toward the car I notice a strange smell, same smell I remember from science class where I dissected a sheep's kidney
>driver seems to be mid 50's, longish grey hair
>remember serving him a couple times
>open the drivers side door to check he's okay
>lower torso is covered in blood, his shirt's all kinds of fucked up see long gashes in his stomach
>doesn't seem to be breathing but the blood is pretty fresh so I figure it couldn't have happened long before I got there
>hear some rustling in bushes like a really fuck-off huge pig or a kangaroo
>weird smell gets stronger
>remember my /x/ training and spook the fuck out of there
>see a weird humanoid shape come out of the bushes and bend over the car in rearview mirror
>get back into cell signal range as I near my township
>call the cops and shit to report it
>don't mention the spooky shit because I don't wanna be locked up for being a loony
>talk to one of my coworkers who's in the rural fire service the next day, he ended up responding to the crash
>says they didn't find a body at the crash but saw all the blood covering the drivers seat and some splattered around the interior of the car
cont.

>>17621607
Did anybody capture that other thread that went something like this? It was sometime last year I think. Grill makes a thread about visiting some family in a pretty woodsy area. Goes for a hike with their bigass dog. Comes across a gigantic what the fuck. Gigantic wtf decides to fuck off when dog barks at it. Grill goes back to family and tells them about.

The thread goes on after her initial story and eventually someone mentions ground sloths.

This ground sloth thing's got all the hallmarks of an attempt at making a more realistic innawoods monster, but I want to believe. It highly unlikely that it's real, but weird shit happens sometimes.

>>17624301
>>17624301
cont.
>no obvious indication as to what could've cut the guy up, wasn't that bad of a crash
>coworker figures the guy was disoriented from the crash and walked off into the bush
>tell him the guy was dead when I got there, not breathing at all and he'd stopped bleeding
>spooks co-worker out
>don't mention anything else because I don't reckon he'd believe me
>small townships so most of this shit makes it into the paper and local news
>absolutely no media coverage
>RFS coworker tells me Federal Cops started looking into it
>no attempt to locate the body
>get contacted by the cops to tell them what happened
>lie about seeing the guy, say the car was empty when I got there
>still have to drive home from there late at night
>still get really fucking uncomfortable whenever I pass the crash site

>>17623079
A classic I've yet to get tired of.

>>17622745
wanker

>>17605808
Dude...

>>17610943
10/10

>>17605798
>never speak of this to grandma or to my mom
>brother literally fucking mauled by a moose
>no mention of him living throught that
good luck with that

>>17619657
Pretty good overall apart from the cliche "can not be killed" or the fact demon pupper is smart enough to know what a phone line is as to purposely dismantle it. Pretty good nonetheless.

>>17621022
And 9 months later you were born.
Good job abdullah. For replacing a camel with a car.

>>17621624
Is there a twist I'm missing? The ending seems suspicious for some reason

>>17621801
This is a bit of a spoiler but is that the one we're, in one of the chapters, he goes out with a girl who eventually stops showing up to dates but keeps texting him and then it turns the person he's been messaging on his phone was the stalker all along?

>>17610161
>bwuh
I never laughed so much at a supposed horror story

>>17625271
Thats the one, yeah.

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>>17623417
sorry

>>17625880
Any more, then? I mean, that one cuts off too

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>>17625921
yeah, here

the story kinda sucks, first two or three pages are really the only good ones, i can post it all if you want tho. Your better off just reading the beginning pages and pretending there was something better at the end

>>17625938
I'll take your word on it being shit, but could you tell us what the disappointing ending was?

>>17610943
Why would this bitch speak latin ? 2/10

>>17625965
reveals too much, like two pages of backstory on the monster, kind of autistic in that respect...

>>17605808

his grandma did it so he would behave

>>17626049
Still kinda want to see it

>>17612455
>TFW I wasted my time reading sleep paralysis experience

>>17620992
99% he was just a hobo tryna help a retarded child who couldnt event get out of a FUCKING PLAYGROUND

>>17610161
>Girl takes him to an Abandoned House
>FULL of saws and shit
>Try to blind a guy because he spilled soup on her clothes
>Acts like a little girl
>Kinda Femdom
>KILLED TWO GIRLS
>"We're moving in together in two weeks"
Yep, his dead. At least he will die by the hands of a cute lolita, which is more than most of us can ask.

>>17624092
so the guy that wrote the story is the accused killer?

>>17605804
That time /x/, and /h/ went to /b/.

>Be me
>6-7
>Me and my parents move to a new house
>Everything is okay the first few months
>After some time strange shit started to happen
>One of our TVs would changed the channels by it self
>Stoping at random channels that were just static
>The other TV were even scarier
>Every time you turned it off two eyes appeared on the screen
>A little faded and all red
>My parents realize there's something fucked up in the house but play it cool
>I started having nightmares every night
>In most of them somebody would pick me up and take me away
>And I would wake up in the bathroom or the kitchen
>They say I used to wake up in the middle of the night and wander around the house half asleep
>My parents started acting weird too
>Stoping by the side of my bed and just look at me in silence
>Sometimes I had these weird blankes of memory
>One time I was playing by the window
>Everything turned black
>When I came back to my senses I was hanging with the courtain
>My mother found and helped me before anything worse happened
>Or was just watching some cartoon
>And when I came back Two hours passed and I was lying down in the kitchen.

If some of you guys have any explanation for what happened in that house I would like to hear it

>>17626813
No, I don't think so, the age is wrong and the victim and accused appear to have gone into the desert together

>>17626869

>moved into a house recently
>nightmares are common
>strange, but not overtly supernatural happenings
>people exhibiting strange, but not overtly violent or scary behaviour
>intermittent memory loss

Grats, you've experienced carbon monoxide poisoning, my bet is that the house was reasonably old and had a furnace/boiler in the house somewhere.

>>17610161
This is both horrifying and erotic, especially by the time he got to the abandoned house. anything more like this?

>Be at a friend's house
>Friend insists his house is haunted by the ghost of a little girl of about 4 or 5 years of age
>yeah, riiiight
>Friend has this old stereo
>He is in the habit of turning the volume knob all the way down before turning it on so it doesn't start off blasting
>Says this system turns itself on from time to time, and that he's seen the knob turn itself down prior to the stereo turning itself on
>it's the ghost doing it; she's copying what she's seen him do
>Interesting, but whatever, I'm still not convinced
>then one night a bunch of us are in the living room. I happen to be facing the front door
>front door has a glass section in the top through which I see the screen door open a little way, just enough for a small child to slip through
>then the front door opens a little way, same distance, just enough to let a little kid through
>screen door closes
>front door closes
>nobody and nothing fucking there

>>17622243
Not super interesting.

>>17621576
I live in Iowa any sauce on this?

>>17610161
this is so cute

>>17626049
How pages are left?

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>>17621863
It's a dead language

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>>17610184
Did you just escape from /k/?
Also, how did you realize that guy was a nigerian lizard wizard? Fucking hardkek'd

>>17623795
(you), anon


>(you)

>>17624836
Read again, he was almost mauled.

>>17620992
>no bigger than 10 feet across

What were you playing in your bedroom or something?

1/10 for making me reply to such a shit story

>>17622689
it's /b/, they are all lying teenagers and redditors, don't worry about it

>>17624301
>weird humanoid shape come out of the bushes and bend over the car in rearview mirror

what did it look like?

>>17627388
Nope, no furnace/boiler since they aren't commom around here. Also the house wasn't old and the walls were made of brick.

>>17612231
WHAT IF SAME HOBO?

>>17624301
>>17624320
why are ausspoogs always the best?
For christmas I want more ausbongs on /x/

Does anyone have any alien sheer text stories?

>>17605794
10/10

Bravo

>>17615235
this actually happened to a homeless guy in the town i used to live in

im pretty sure someone beat some wheelchair bound homeless guy to death in the middle of the street a few weeks later

>>17622100
Cool grandfather.

>>17622281
I just think it was added for comedic effect. The parents were downstairs, and I don't think there's enough reason to believe there were people in them.

>>17611403
>>17612231

Actually, some idiot just capped this from the /x/ comic thread. OP didn't remember how the original story went and was paraphrasing, so I posted the original there.

>>17617205
Nobody knows more about this story than the image shows because it's a story.
There's no evidence nor anything that hints at the girl having been sexually abused, but if you jump through enough hoops you can claim that she was to mitigate how fucked up she is.

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>>17628277

CARLOS

>>17619657
That was actually scary.

>>17610806
That's a brotier story and I fucking love.

Pls no nightly visitations or other occurences for me through. Allthrough help would be appreciated, but please not _too_ spooky. Just sayin'

>>17620796
I laughed rather loudly there. Got a look from my folks.

>>17626869
My TV changes the channel every night at 2am to a different channel so that could be normal? No idea why it does so, tho. Started about 2 months ago.

As for that other stuff, is it possible you were having some kinda seizures? If my kid acted like that I'd get them checked.

Not much scary but very frightening and creepy

>be me
>got a dream after years
>dreams always end in someone dying be it me or someone else
>get a dream about a kitchen
>turns out i'm not even in the dream
>i'm watching my own dream
>sudenly a woman with a baby comes
>she puts the baby in a pot with water which convenently was right above a turned on eletric oven
>ohshit.jpg
>for some reason baby starts smilling
>then the scene changes like old tv channel change style
>its another woman and another baby
>this time the baby in on the microwave
>he smiles as he spins inside the machine
>it repeats 3 more times...
>last scene is a little girl on top of a frying pan
>she is crying and placing one foot after the other on the pan, for some reason she doesn't get out.
>sudenly for some reason she's entirely on fire, even tough she didn't touch the fire beneat the pan
>mother grabs her the way you would grab a baby
>mother gets entirely on fire as well
>dream ends

does this means anything to you guys in /x/?

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>>17626383
i'll post two more and you can judge for yourself

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>>17629757

>>17622281
It's a joke.

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>>17629758
Just say the name of the story fuckhead

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>>17630080
ill just post the whole fuckin thing matey

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>>17630122

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>>17630127

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>>17630132
fin

>>17606810
This pasta is brought to you by Hideo Kojima's "Screw Konami" channel

>>17622100

Best scary story I've read in a while.

>>17628399
It was pretty dark, couldn't really make it out that well, but I guess it'd be around 6-7' tall, but it was hunched over so I couldn't tell that well. Moved all weird like, sort of limping and shit. Really skinny overall, like way to thin to be human.

I got a story about what happened to me about a week or so ago. Not sure if it was just a dream or not, but freaked me the fuck out.
>asleep in bed with gf (eastern suburbs of melbourne)
>half wake up to a sense of something not right not sure of the exact time
>cant really move, i assume a bit of sleep paralysis from not really waking up
>see a shadow out of the corner of my eye
>about 4 foot tall, couldnt see more than the head silhouette
>best way to descibe the silhouettes head is like from the hand rubbing jew pictures you see on /pol/
>manage to roll over onto my back and let out a soft "no" as it moved silently towards my gfs bedside table
>for what i think was about 10 seconds the power suddenly went out (we have a fan on as we sleep for a bit of noise that isnt the train)
That was the bit that made me really freak out, hearing the fan die
>shadow seemed to respond to my "no" and was suddenly back in the centre of room
>seemed to stand there for a moment and i couldnt move again
>next thing i remember it was up on the bed slowly moving up towards us
>it was weightless, i remember that pretty vividly
>after what felt like an eternity of it moving slowly towards us i had the strength to weakly flail my forearm towards it (trying to wave it off)
>it seemed to vanish when i did that
>a blink of an eye later it was morning
What do you make of it? I dont really dream often and when i do i never really manage to remember them. That said, im not 100% sure i was dreaming. Never told my gf about it, she has enough nightmare troubles as it is

>>17631117
Yeah, seems like partial sleep paralysis, I get it sometimes and the hallucinations can be pretty vivid, I've had my cupboard doors fly open and my window break but when I woke up in the morning everything was back to normal.

>>17631135
Huh i had no idea sleep paralysis involved hallucinations. Cool, well the important thing is that jew demons arent out to get me and save on electricity costs

>>17631218
The jew demons are real anon, they just don't come into your bedroom at night to climb on your chest.

>>17631221
Dang

>tfw trying to read these on mobile

>>17621631
thanks for the dump, much appreciated

So this isn't really paranormal, but just really strange. Hope you enjoy

>be me
>be 18
>It's august, nearing the end of the month. Not too sure what date
>My buddy is moving away so we throw a bush party for him
>Other buddy has his 18th birthday same night
>Smoking and drinking till around 11:40 when everyone disperses
>I head to a local elementary school with 5 of my buds
>We proceed to smoke and drink infront of the elementary school for a while
>At 12:00am (Might have been a little after 12) we see three people in the distance
>1 dude and two girls, the girls looked like they were wearing swimsuits. It's not abnormal to see girls in our neighborhood coming home from pool parties etc.
>They start coming closer, and closer, and eventually we can make out what they are wearing
>I was the first to notice, since I'm always on edge when I'm outside at night. Fuck you /x/ you did this to me
>Girls aren't wearing swimsuits
>Girls are wearing only thongs. Only. Thongs.
>Every 18 year olds fantasy initiate

Will cont

>>17631349
cont

Also, thought I would mention I'm a canada bro. I live in a super suberb near ottawa, shit like this is not supposed to happen

>I keep watching the girls
>Tell my buddies what's up
>They don't believe me
>I point the 3 people out
>Now they believe me
>We are now all staring at these chicks and this 1 lucky mother fucker
>They come closer
>The guy is a bald as fucker, tats up his arms, wearing a simple black t-shirt and jeans
>But what matters is what's in his hands
>Chains that are wrapped around his hands lead to the girls necks like leashes
>18 year olds fantasy reaching maximum bonerdrive
>Me being a rad piece of weeaboo trash I try to act cool
>I call out to the bald mother fucker
>"Bro! That's some next level hentai shit! You are my hero!"
>Oh baby, I'm so glad I was that much of an idiot back then

will cont if anyone actually cares about this story, if not I'm probably just gonna go to bed

>>17629498
Lame. Too edgy.

>>17631361
do itttt

>>17631361
I'm lurking....continue

>>17629734
Dreams are dreams mate. They can be incredibly vivid and fucked up (I get them all the time) but they are just dreams.

>>17631361
Go for it man.

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amidoingitright

>>17631361
just type out the whole thing once and post it NO asking to continue you are killing this thread

>>17621589

>two bodies in road
>marine
>29 palms

Yup, got all the big ticket /x/ items there.

>>17631409
What the heck is 29 palms?

>>17631414
Wait nevermind I googled it.

It's a city that has a marine base nearby or someshit.

Why is this an /x/ hotspot?

>Impacks
>Post-humorously
>Started taking fire from specific weapons OP clearly knows from CoD

Jesus fucking Christ was a load of shit written by a child, why would you start a thread with that?

Anyone got the story of the guy in the helicopter over sand nigger land with some kind of monster in a base that they were guarding and the troops went in and let it free

>>17631459
Sounds like that one movie.

>>17612455
Wait so the dog moonwalked up the wall?

>>17632248
Well what else would the dog be doing?

>>17631361
Sorry Bros. Passed out will cont

>Mysteryman and the two chicks come right up to us
>He says, do you want to watch?
>Don't know what that means, but who gives a fuck
>All of us say yes
>He puts us in a circle around the two girls
>Tells them to "begin"
>18 year old fantasy reaching pinnacle erection
>The girls start making out/ fingerbanging/ eating each other out
>Holy fucking shit this isn't happening right now
>One of my buds, let's call him Jon, goes up to mystery bald motherfucker
>Introduces himself to the bald guy, and extends his hand
>Bald guy tells him "Don't touch me"
>One of the girls pulls away from the other and says "If you fucking touch either of us, I will bite your dick off"
>Jon backs away
>We get it, so we just sit back relax and enjoy the show
>10 minutes pass
>What happens after this reminds me of a scene from a terrible porn I once saw

Will cont

>>17628395
>Red board
>must be /b/
>Says /r9k/
At least my edgy teenage ass can read, faggot.

>>17633029
Cont

>Two bright flashlights shine in the distance of the elementary school field
>Oh shit, that better not be the popo
>3 of my friends book it, they all had weed on them.
>They were not gonna be fined for this shit
>Me and two buds stand completely still, like a dear seeing headlights
>Two cops appear
>Bad porn lines activate
>Male cop says, "It's past curfew. You shouldn't be out here past 11"
>I think to myself wtf, how is curfew your issue, not the two girls on fucking chains wearing absolutely nothing
>Girl who is currently on top looks at him and says the stupidest shit I have ever heard in my life
>"How come boys are allowed to have their shirts off and girls can't "
>Bitch, what the fuck. I don't think that's the issue here
>Me and my buds are super fucking confused
>Pretty sure my boner is shaped like a question mark
>Bald guy remains silent
>Cops don't even acknowledge our existence
>Look at my bud. He looks me in the eye with a confused look on his face
Also, I remember in class that I learned that in Ottawa it isn't illegal for a girl to have her shirt off. In fact that right had been won years back
>While looking at my bud I say what's been in my mind
>"This is a load of barnacles"
>Friend responds with "Yuh bud"
>We walk the fuck out of there, police don't even pursue

Afterwards we all went to another elementary school and smoked some more. Talked all night about how that actually just happened. The cops walked away with the three like nothing happened. Was the weirdest shit ever, not too /x/ related. But still a funny story

>>17610161
this is literally the absolute worst shit ive ever read.

>>17610163
the voodoo kid seems more intelligent than you, maybe he could teach you something.

already posted in another thread but why the hell not

>be last spring-summer at like 11 at night
>be in Nor Cal, Shasta county
>me and my friend were walking around my back lot in hiking gear and shooting the shit
>be walking the fenceline and look across the neighbors field
>I see a bright orange light to the North
"dude look" I say pointing at the orb
>friend looks and after a little bit of the usual "I don't see it" BS he sees it
"That's Venus" he says
>we keep walking along the fence and I look back at the light
>That shit is moving westward
>point it out to friend and he tries to convince me it is not moving
>after a minute of arguing he admits its moving
>the orb is moving west and stopping and moves east and back west
>It keeps moving back and fourth taking like 8-10 minutes to complete it's path
"It's a high flying helicopter" he says
"That's not a fucking helicopter"
>we keep watching it, after a half hour we get bored and walk to the other side of the lot

>it's like an hour after we first saw the light and It's still there
>we're leaning on one of the rusting cars back there and watching the light
>debating over why some asshole would be moving east and west over and over again for an hour in a helicopter
>if it's even a fucking helicopter
>the light stops in the center of it's path
>I don't know how long it was stopped because I was looking at something else for a bit, I think I was trying to find something

>>17633357
cont'd
>The light is stopped
>Like dead stopped
>a smaller orb shoots out the bottom
>and another one
>another one
>there's not three small orbs below the first
>we're pretty sp00ked at this point
>the orbs shoot off into different directions
>one goes east, one west, one passes right over us
>the little light stops over the neighbors field or us IDK
>it kinda just stays there for a bit
>we kinda just stay quiet, don't move, I don't think I could've
>the small orb goes on it's merry way
>the big orb fades away
"Does a high flying helicopter do that?" I said
"... That's kinda sketchy" he replies
>we go inside wide eyed and terrified
>have nightmares about greys outside my house, looking into the sliding glass doors
>I don't move at all
>wake up in the morning and make breakfast
>talk with friend about the light, tell my brother that was in the house the story
>bro wishes he was there
>me and friend pause
>change subject

>for most of the summer I slept with my Winchester by my bed because I thought I may have been abducted
>nightmares stay constant
>they stop around july and everything goes back to normal

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>>17605794
>Be me
>Around... 7-9...?
>Live in old banged up house
>Land lord is extremely kind
>It's the weekend and my parents are out so the house is left to myself
>Stop playing vidya in my room and go to the kitchen to pickup a snack
>Pass the living room on my way by
>See a fucking old man sitting in the recliner chair
>I only saw it for a split second though, as I was moving into the kitchen
>realize what I just saw and look back into the living room
>Nothing
>Spooked.avi
I later figured out that the previous owner of the house, (The landlord's sister) had a husband who died inside of the home of a stroke while he was sitting in the living room.
Still spooked to this day.

>>17620120
the only thing that creeps me out is this guy is really into 6-10 year olds.

>>17633451
Oh Hey, here's another story of the time I visited the Stanley Hotel in the Rockies. (You can google the hotel, it was the one used in the shining)
>Be around the same age... Maybe a little younger like 6 or 7
>Mum and Dad take me there
>Pretty fucking damn cool, they have this awesome coffee shop and diner place with these huge fucking rainbow trout that they keep in a tank
>People all over the place taking tours n shit
>There's a lot of weird stuff too, they have these stair cases that lead up to no where and really strange changes and shifts in the carpet colors, mirrors in strange places
>Get away from my parents cause I'm a cool kid
>Go Reaaally high up the stairs
>Shit ton of levels, there's also a lot of hallways
>Get tired of running around the place, look down the hall
>Whatthefuck.png
>Standing in front of me, way down the hall is a 6 foot man... No.. Like a shadow. His entire body was just like a fucking blur or something. I can't give the exact details. Only that it was a full grown man.
>Bolt the fuck out of there
>Look back
>Gone.
>He's fucking gone.
There's another story about this place. And I have living proof somewhere around here that I want to share with /x/
>Go there again later, not to stay the night just to tour around
>Me and pa go into this weird ball room place we're not supposed to go into on the first level
>They have a piano there and me being the autist that I am wants to play around on the piano
>Tap around on the piano cause I'm pretty bored as fuck
>Dad snaps a picture of it, blah blah blah
>Later develop the photos at target or wherever the fuck
>See the one of me playing the piano
>There is a fucking transparent figure of a woman in front of the fucking camera
>Like literally right there in the face of the camera
I have the picture laying around somewhere in my garage. The chances of me finding it are pretty shit but I'll look around a bit for it.

>>17605821
>>17605821
Fuck I'm on 29 stumps and going out to Joshua tree this weekend, mabye I'll check the record and see if this happened.

>>17621589
not a native Californian, but I live here now and im pretty sure you can't keep ammo and a gun together in car. im not sure about CA's concealed carry tho.

I just know when we go to the range ammo has to go in the glove box and guns in trunk.

>>17633710
we have some pretty shit gun laws

>>17610806
Why doesn't the guy just get a friend to chill with him between the hours of 3 and 5 and then see what's up? Or just set up a camera

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>>17629498
>if you miss this party I will fucking stab you

Kek

>>17621022
That's a good story :-)

Has anyone got the copypasta where /k/ goes skinwalker hunting and bring AR-15's n shit and light the forrest up chasing it?

>>17631281
>Still kinda want to see it
>tfw nfw

>>17629498
>full 60 seconds
People need to stop doing this.

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>>17621556
Yay
I always appreciate your contributions

>>17633552
find it, anon

Does anyone have the THE KING COME DOWN one or something like that?

>>17635673
That's such a shitty pasta.

>>17634807
Rollung for this

>>17635900
>dubs
nice

>>17621022
Dude it was a nice hobo sleeping in a playground, chill

>>17622938
Nice.

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What are /x/'s spookiest stories? I'll start

>At McDonalds very late at night, around 1am
>There with gf because she was pregnant and craving McDonalds
>She orders a double cheese burger, a large fry, and a medium coke.
>Get food and begin to walk out
>A strange looking man dressed in all black walks in as we walk out
>Wait a minute
>SomethingsNotRightHere.jpg
>"Hey wait!"
>All black guy comes sprinting out of restaurant with some white cylindrical object in his hand
>"you almost forgot your drink ma'm
>"Thanks man"
>MFW

FIN

>be 12
>having nightmares of demons and spoopy things lately
>some cousins come to town with their parents and dog
>little dog stays with us because hotel didn't allow animals
>dog sleeps in the same room as me and my brothers
>I was staying in a bed at floor level and dog fell asleep on my chest
>dreaming about me showing the little dog to my friends
>dog barks(as in where someone calls you irl and you hear it in your dream)
>wake up
>feel someone crawling fast off my bed
>must be my brother or sister (they were less than 10)
>look around
>dog is awake, ears up and alert af
>siblings asleep

I feel goosebumps everytime I remember or tell the story.

>>17605794
Does anyone have the story where some anon kept having dreams about some ominous man talking to him? Other anons respond to him saying that he saw a biblical figure who was warning him of the apocalypse or something like that.

The dude in question has a name, but I can't remember it.

>>17636034

>my pregnant gf
Is this an evolution of the "my wife's son" meme?

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>>17635900
Witnessed

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>>17623079
Jesus Christ.

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>>17623079
do not walk on your sword legs
do not open your owl eyes

>>17631218
>jew demons arent out to get me
Absolutely goy, no one is out to get you haha fucking goyim

>>17621570
More like these? I was raised in Alberta.

>girlfriend bought a black cat
>wake up next morning and the fucker's done a runner
>TV and bike been ghosted

>>17636399
What the fuck did i just read?

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>>17636459

>>17633361
>Muffled ayy lmao in distance
Good ayy story, bro

>>17628433
i got a bit of a story, ill try condense it though

>be like 17 in the middle of the bush at a party
>lots of people just chilling around a big fire getting drunk off cask wine (goon) or stoned
>im standing on one side of the fire with my mates and my little brother (about 15 at the time)
>on the other side of the fire there is a big group of aboriginals
>they are all acting shifty as fuck, usually when abos are at parties they just start fights or pass out
>forget about them for a bit
>they all end up leaving really early (usually abos are the last to leave parties)
>one of them that i know comes up to me and asks me how im getting home that night
>'probably just walking' i say
>'try get a lift brah' he says
>righto

>we stay at the party till about 1-2am and by then the vibe has gotten really weird
>me and brother decide to leave
>walking along a bush track on our way home, we only lived like a half hour walk away so it was no big deal

cont