Spiritual Awakening

When I was 19, and I turned 23 today. I haven't really lost any friends for spiritual reasons, but I have stopping hanging outwith certain ones. My advice to you is to relax and let yourself breathe. In through the nose, and out through the mouth. You can always find yourself this way. Godspeed, anon. <3

Still going through mine. It's been roughly a 2-year process at this point. I've lost friends and loved ones, but this was more a cause than an effect. Witnessing and being part of enough shit has a way of opening you up to the patterns of the universe.

>>17486201
thank you! peace and love

Started at 19. I had reoccurring "enlightening" times since. each taking me closer to... idk... complete zen, I guess. Sometimes the moment are just that. Sometimes they last hours. Sometimes it's a day or more of small moments.

I don't do drugs anymore. Not since I was about 19. I'm 38 now. I know the whole transformation isn't complete... but strangely enough, the closer I become to what I think this enlightened state is... the more scared I become. I think I've gone as far as I'm comfortable going.... maybe a little further that I wish I had, because I don't think I can unsee or unkow what I've experienced.

>>17486259
This is exactly how I feel.

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Monks are based.

>>17486164
>Did you lose friends who were not on the same frequency as you?

Every single one, man.

we just drifted apart.. no rhyme or reason.

>>17486443
Glad I'm not the only one. I really don't think it was anything personal. Just our frequencies/ paths have changed.

Started a couple of months ago, lost my longest friend so far. But I've met a few extraordinary people since then, so it's only half-bad.

I've been on a two year growing process since I used Ayahuasca, and since then I've been going through some major transitions and have definitely lost a lot of friends (and family), but they are always replaced by someone even better!

It's seems to be more of an UNdoing process, like peeling layers of an onion to see the truth of what's there.

It might be scary now, but the endpoint is more wonderfull than anything you can imagine right now, I promise.

>>17486802
It is a profound cleansing of your self. it will feel like there is only loss for a long long while, without any gain, untill the day you realize you lost all the false to gain all that's real. Humanity is truly going through a global change in conciousness, it's so perfectly obvious to me now.

>>17486519
>>17486443
Same happened to me. It's sad really, It tears me appart. I would so much like for them to understand why this have happened and see what I have seen, so that they also could achieve the same profound happiness as me. They are all just destroying themselves with drugs and toxic entertainment, simply because they believe it's gonna make them happier. But I just simply cannot waste my time with them, doing meaningless things that do not amount to anything on a personal or global scale. I'm confused really, it's a bittersweet feeling, it's like what we are experiencing is both a curse and a blessing.

This entire thread is solid.

>>17486259
For what it's worth, I've had the experience of ‘annihilation’ of self or, more accurately, the intense understanding that "I" didn’t exist and had never existed. Prior to this, I'd had a few years of one identity after another falling away without trying to push them away - things just happened to be seen through, and the moment you see through something, it sloughs off. As an anon says, there is a -lot- of loss in this process, and s/he’s right when s/he says you realize it’s only seeming loss, that you are simply releasing that which is false. I saw clearly that "I" was not a noun, but a verb, a collection of accumulated behaviors that was just smoke. Then, the understanding that I wasn’t even a verb arose. “I” had no existence. It can't really be called the end of the world, because that implies there was a world to begin with. At that point, I understood that whole 'you were never born' thing I'd seen some teachers say.
At the time this happened, I became pretty much completely nonfunctional for a while. It's kind of like the ultimate death. The material world doesn't vanish when this death occurs, but even faking functionality just wasn't possible, because the thought was absurdist nonsense. It would be like trying to work a water faucet shown on a movie screen. (continued)

>>17487577
(continued)
To my surprise, though, that stage turned out to be a stage, and eventually passed. Maybe there’s a more permanent version in which you stay there indefinitely, I don’t know.
What I do know is that after a time passed afterwards, I found out my old personality was still waiting for me to put back on. I still had the same particular likes and dislikes. I still had the same childhood baggage, even. What there was, though, now was space around everything. The no-thing realization remains a kind of permanent under-awareness at all times. I deliberately re-assumed the identity of this character “Lisa,” now knowing the character was just a character.
In short, what I saw on my ‘return’ to form is that no-thing masquerades as all things. Form is made of formlessness. From what I can tell, one is inherent to the other, and they are as inseperable as the white is from a grain of rice.
As for the friends thing: I have found it difficult, at times, to be in human society at all. Not because I’m “better” or any such BS - there is absolutely no difference whatsoever between me and anyone else, and I mean -anyone- else, be it a bag lady or a president - but because … I just have no interest in human drama. Just no interest at all. Imagine being in a room full of people who are intensely, loudly, urgently passionate about something that just means nothing to you and that you cannot connect with at all. Your mileage may vary. (done)

From my earliest days, I knew that everyone around me was part of a social game, and that behind this facade was something so incredible that everyday life was nothing more than a distraction.

My first memories are colored by the fact that I was living in the fading afterglow of Heaven. I looked at my life like a very long stint of employment that was just beginning.

By the time I'd become a Buddhist teenager, I started having visions of a white light surrounded by orbiting Buddhas. Still, I was massively depressed.

Not much changed until February of last year, when I awoke to my identity as an asura. Everyone hates me now, and I'm living in a truck. My life is a charnal ground of alcohol and drugs, and all I care about is obtaining super powers.

I always had some paranromal stuff happening around or with me, like dreaming about moments of the future. Sometimes I dreamt about other people's life, experienced things i never really experienced, Idk.
I had those enlightening moments when I was 15-16 , its still there sometimes, but nowadays it stopped. Now I have a bad feeling in my belly months ago, like something dark within, idk. I'm in a deepening depression again...

I've had a few, but the most recent one at 26 has actually stuck. The others primed me for what has happened, but the time wasnt right and I was not in the read environment or headspace to go through with it. I believed the lies.

Now I find myself driving from my few friends as our lives branch off. One has a baby and became a progressive blue state retard with a girl who I fear is going to leave him in the next 5 years and the other is a NEET living with her friend's family. Not that I was employed before that, but the she hasn't worked in the 8 months I have or before that because who the fuck knows.

We're 26 and they play video games and watch anime and Netflix, while I haven't watched tv in at least 3 years and have too much going on and no inclination for the vidya anymore. I'm reenrolled in my third year of college with plans for a master's and they have whispy pipe dreams.

I know it's not very spiritually enlightened to talk like this, but I love them deeply and want to see the best for them, I also want to see the best for myself and even if we are actually walking the same path, they are incapable of walking it with me. At least I've made new friends recently.

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I became the anime man but with spiritual flow shit and a waifu.

>paragraphs

>>17486164
Yes, mine began early 17.
I began to learn that the systematic world was cold, deceptive and fed upon my servile mind, something within most.

I turned to God, simply confused and baffled at what has become of my mind, completely confused, I realised I was far from what I wanted to be, I had been kicked out, I was already miles from home on land unknown. After wandering for a week, I went to my grandmother's house, to fall ill with a fever a month later after meeting and accompanying christian missionaries, to see how they could inspire others so diligently. After my illness, I felt like I have passed a test, went through an initial metamorphosis. The dreams I had in bed were about psychic development, bending spoons and moving rubiks with my mind, vividly.

I would wake up more conscious, a quieter mind and I would bathe in this splendor. Since then I would meditate everyday, a practice introduced to me a year prior.

Fast forward now 6 months I would have learned the importance of the inner sun, the sanctity of my heart, the golden light inside, simply shrouded by the mind. To say the least, once you have seen what shine you are capable of illuminating, you will become thirsty for your own spiritual ascension.. And so I meditated everyday to master my delusions (metacognitivity) and committed myself to the 8fold path, which would heal my soul.

You learn that you are a being of love and bliss encarcerated incarnate. You learn that a human was put in charge of taking care of yourself, and you learn then that your ego is such.

Meme-loving fucks, most of you. At least be euphoric postironically.

>>17487428
Thank you! This is comforting.

>>17487580
>I just have no interest in human drama at all.


What I have felt for so long now. I feel so above it all, as if I'm just watching it all take place and feeling nothing about it. Its hard to describe.

>>17488433
Read this, it's probably going to resonate with a lot of what you are experiencing. Just give it a shot, it's not to much to read. http://www.themystic.org/dark-night/

>>17488459

thank you very much, anon. Helped a lot

just one question, doesn't spoiling whats going to happen maybe stop it from happening just because you know it?

>>17488459

thank you for this! The one part about money and material possessions really struck home for me. I recently got this new job that pays great, and I can pretty much afford all the material possessions that I want. The old me would have loved this, and would of felt fulfilled by this. However me in my higher consciousness does not feel fulfilled by this, I still feel empty, like nothing in the world could satisfy me.

>>17488505
Hehe, what you asked does not matter at all. You might have an idea of how this thing that is going to happen is going to be. But I assure you it's not like you imagine it, not even the most pleasurable thing you can imagine will compare to the fullfilment you will achieve. All I can say, is that if you are truly honest in your quest for truth, and don't give up even in your darkest hours, then you will find what you seek. Just know that there is absolutely nobody or anything in the whole entire universe that will achieve it for you but yourself, because in the end you will realize that what you seeked was with you from the start. Good luck, and might all things great come your way.

>>17488539
Glad to hear it helped my brother. All I want you to know, is that what you are experiencing is real, and there is a purpose for it, even if you can't conciously understand that right now. Just have faith, and know that you will know when it's over. You can't be mistaken. Godspeed.

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Started when I was around 18/17 years old. I went into the rabbit hole, got ungrounded, learned how it was to feel the consequences of controlling oneself like trying to hold back emotions "just be happy" kind of thing and addictions. That just being in your head, can lead you to a dead end. Focusing too much on eating right, breathing right etc. Worrying about "dark forces" trying to make your life miserable. Listening too much at spiritual teachers, guides.

Sometimes one just has to drop everything.

Love yourself. If you want to do something, don't punch yourself down.

>>17488447

Same. But it's lonely.

>>17486164
I turned 22 yesterday, I realized since a few months that I begin to think very differently about the world, becoming more chill, relative, listening a lot to psy, trance goa and acid rock. I took some distance with my usual concerns, I have no longer desire to go out with friends (but I keep contact with them), dating, etc. I still want to go through my driving lessons (because I want to travel) and my sociology master degree because I want to know about the society which I detaching myself, also it's my first time posting on this kind of thread.
Is it enlightening?

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It's hard to pinpoint where it started. I think even as a kid this vague idea of wanting to "wake up" was present. I tried psychedelics at age 20 and that turned out to be a major catalyst. It peeled back the veil just enough to tell my rational mind I really didn't know shit about anything and if I wanted to continue the experience I was having I would have to incorporate a spiritual practice. Started practicing Yoga and shortly after went through the dark night of the soul, which was a year of of intense pain and shedding a lot of people, activities, mindsets, and motivations I was used to having in my life. After the storm passed my life was very quiet and solitary, but my practice started bearing more and more fruit with each passing year. Went through an at least partial Kundalini awakening, which was yet another long period of adjustment and alienated me even more from the world, but after a time things started to integrate and it was easy to just accept the people and environment around me for how they are. It's like I came back to the world with a bigger heart and everything else I gained during my sojourn away from it, while being free of a lot of the baggage and internal blocks of the past. There's still further to go on the path, but so far nothing has been as difficult or as painful as the dark night was, and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

>>17486164
that picture is vibrating, right?

started around age 22. was into psychedelics and also had a professor that was heavy into tantric buddhism. i studied hinduism under him. it was great.

My friend is in a similar state
She had a dream of a snake inside her spine.

She's in a state of enlightenment.
Is doing a lot of things that are cool.
Her positive stories are annoying me, im happy for her but it gets me on my nerves how good her life is going while im stuck in a rut.


I feel selfish but how can I overcome these emotions and be more in tune with enlightenment like her?

I got hit by a car when I was 7, my parents told me I said I saw angels when I was out, I don't know if I was declared dead for any period, but I don't remember anything past being hit. It really does happen so fast. That was the first real instance. I believe I had some kind of an existential crisis around 7-10 where the reality of death being ultimate for all beings really sank in. I mean I knew about it, but hasn't accepted it. I was up fairly late moping and my mother bless her soul had to come in and console me.

I never touched drugs until about 17 or so? It was senior year. I had bought the kool aid that weed was as bad as any drug. I tried it, and fell in love. Admittedly, I probably burned myself out on the good effects of weed. If I do smoke these days it's one hit on a tiny bowl, and this is mostly due to anxiety. I started bugging hard and becoming extremely anxious of my physical state, heart racing, the like. But for a while, weed would give me a means with which to slow down my usually over tasked mind to really think about things, combined with the natural setting I was living in upstate NY for college at the time, it was a very spiritual kind of year.

I think I've started myself off on the path of a miserable man obsessed with answers, among other things, like art, entertainment, and political revolution. It's a hell of a better path to walk than living my life stupid and empty

>>17486164
I've never been social at all except when I was small and my friends were small too but they grew up and started doing grown up things and that's lame. I'm a shut in and have been for 5 years I'm god too

>>17486164
>When did you have your spiritual awakening, or began to realize how the universe works?

Dmt, mostly. I don't do it anymore though. Sometimes you just remember to much. I don't want to remember.

>Did you lose friends who were not on the same frequency as you?

People generally annoy the fuck out of me these days. Sometimes they're amusing in a comical way. But that's it.

>>17486164
First answer me this.

Did your body change in any way?

Did you feel something strange in how the eyes of the people move when they are talking?

Did you have dreamed or seen somewhat we can call as an ''angel'' and if dat so, how he/she looks like?

Did you felt notably better or worse making certain actions, and how you regain the bliss?

>>17489427
The first three, no. But yes, how I handle things, talk to people, think about things have all changed, for the better too. I usually regain bliss through meditation or calming music.

My spine is in serpentine shape.

Is scoliosis divine?

>>17489500
I wouldn't worry about it

>>17489313
Imagine if they didn't indoctrinate you to believe what they believe, you wouldn't have known what angels were to say that you've seen them.

>>17489568
I was questioning the whole religion thing around then anyway, no worries

>>17489313
What's wrong with art? Is it because it's materialistic?

>>17488583
fatty detected

>two years ago
>yes
>yes, for the better of course
>It is you who's creating that reality, in my experience i found a bunch of aware friends whom i can talk about magic and metaphysics in general

>>17487660
You actually sound like a self righteous dickhead friend. Evidence...

> calling people 'retard'
> mentioning employment status in a 'spiritual awakening thread'
> being judgmental: "they play vidya and i haven't watched tv in blah blah" hahaha
>overt egotism: "they are incapable of walking it with me"

Wow such enlightened 9/10

>>17487577
Could you explain this more? How could you possibly experience the sensation of not existing? Isn't that just general anesthesia?

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>>17489313
Are you the kid from God is for Real?

>>17486164
Had a moment about a year ago where I went to a Catholic Church (I was raised Baptist and hated it) with my exgf and my old roomie.

About halfway though the service I felt the air get warm and full of a weird electric feeling. I felt like a wet blanket had been pulled off of my shoulders (like a heavy burden) and I began to cry, and I cried for like two days whenever I thought about it. I went and bought a silver crucifix necklace and I wear it all the time.

Weird thing is, I've never been religious or spiritual or whatever, I've just always done my own thing and been kind of bitter.


My quality of life has improved gradually, starting on that day.

>>17486296
shang tsung just sucked the soul out of that guy. everybody too scared to do shit

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>>17486164
Seriously,how does marijuana affect your chakras??I feel like I had some profound moments and could sometimes feel something bad before happening with a feeling of dread.
A friend of mine who is daily smoker for years who is very into chakras and stuff like that claims weed effects your third eye and claims it can help open it.He is often pretty paranoid,anxious and delusional and I wonder if that's because of his active third eye.

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>>17491669
>"retard" is a "bad word"
saints don't need trigger warnings

>employment is irrelevant to spiritual progression
>video games and tv aren't antithetical to attainment
if you are following spiritual pursuits, tv and video games are literally the opposite of helpful. even in regular-style personal development, they are not useful or productive. and if someone needs money explicitly for the things they want but cannot obtain it themselves, they are not their own masters

>identifying varying paths is egoism
people choose to be incapable on a daily basis. just because everyone has the potential to attain doesn't mean they allow themselves the capacity to actualize it

>>17492178
paranoia and Higher Intuition are not compatible

your friend likes to talk about his unicorn horn because he thinks it cancels out all the stupid crap that falls out of his mouth

>>17486201
your mouth is not for breathing

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>>17492226
I suppose.He almost got into a fight in the bus yesterday because he thought these 2 dudes talking with their girl friend were talking about him (clearly fucking not) and making fun of him to make girl laugh and then proceeds to tell me it's not the weed that changed him but because his active third eye sees everything "as it is".He just smokes weed and does LSD and thinks he is enlightened....

>>17492315
Maybe the LSD made him bernout. You're only supposed to do it every so often to give your brain time to 'reset', in a sense

>>17487432
I agree with my entire heart and reading this almost brought a tear to my eye. Fucking love man.

>>17487738
i fucking love you man

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>>17486164
Had Five friends, right now i have Two.

Middle of senior year in high school, my older sister interrogated me testing my mental strengths. She gave me a book to read called "The Secret.", read it. After some time these positive Synchronicity's would appear in the outer world, like my co-workers would just say some positive shit. Sorta like some affirmation of me being on the right path. After a few month of applying it my mental state was above most "unconscious" people. My friends, Ched, Rob, Tre, and Jay were as unconscious as me. So i let my close friend (Jay) read it, he also became aware, but not as close as me. Then i let my other not so close friend read it, Ched read it, he was still struggling with that books concept, as if he doesn't want to apply it. Tre doesn't see an interest in it, so he disregards it. Rob is just completely negative. So high school goes on, i read "Zen and the art of happiness." Few days after i apply most concepts that book talks about, positive affirmiations, still remaining happy even the worst of times. Life was, and still is going great for me. After read "The Power of Now.", completely shifts my mindset, now im living life and enjoying everything tenfold.

Keep in mind i let Jay read Zen and Power of Now, but Ched, Rob and Tre doesn't see an interest in it.

So fast forward to Summer 2015, smoking reefer, doing reckless things. My sister gave me another book by Eckhart Tolle, "A New Earth". That book was on some Matrix Red/Blue pill for me, now i become COMPLETELY aware of what kind of energy people give off. After reading that book i become aware of Ched's, Rob's, and Tre's thought patterns. Just fucking negative. However Jay is progressing rather quickly.

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>>17492650

So to dive into what these old friends did was this: Ched would completely destroy anything he doesn't agree with, try to disprove it any way, like an "unconscious" person denying something innovative. People say they know Narcissists, but Ched is one.

Tre would judge every little thing someone does, after talk shit behind their back. I understand everyone talks shit about each other, he just does it like chain smoking a pack of cigs. Also negative.

Rob however, every little conscious thing i would try to say in a conversation, he plays it like its some kind of joke. When bad things happen to him he would become fucking NEGATIVE, like he takes to the next level negative. Not as bad as Ched.

One night, were at a gas station. I talk about my beliefs like i usually would, spirituality, astrology. Ched just completely breaks me down, i cant describe what he said. I can tell you the feeling, everything was getting fucking blurry, i felt out of breath. It felt like he used "Giga Drain" on me, i couldn't argue back, i felt so out of energy. Only words i said was "You're wrong." He just laughed. I went home, told my sister what happened. She replied i answered it the best way i could, after i shrugged it off. Confused and drained, i went to bed..

What happened next was fucking weird, i was standing in a pitch black room, talking to "The Universe" This being manipulated his voice to sound like my dads, but at a calmer tone. I call this being "The Universe" because it gave me answers to all my questions. I asked it "Why did Ched do that?" It told me. "Theres going to be people in life who test your beliefs, and there are going to be some who don't completely believe what you believe. You will find friends who think like you very soon." I remember also asking it, "Why did my old job fire me?" It responded, "Your old job has became more stressful than ever, business is booming, so i pulled you out of that situation because you wouldn't be able to handle it."

>>17492650
I've had the same thing happen with coworkers and stuff after discovering the law of attraction and applying it. How did 'the secret' work for you overall? And do you still use it?

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>>17493312
I haven't read it all the way thru, i read up to like the fourth, maybe 5th chapter. Started applying, progress. Honestly if i didnt make myself aware of The Secret, i would still be questioning why all these bad things would be happening to me, still be a pessimist, negative nancy. Its come to a point where its locked into my subconscious, i cant really explain it. I know that the odds usually work out in my favor whenever i use the law of attraction. All it takes for it to work is faith, confidence and believing in yourself, as corny and bland as that seems.

On a tangent, I learned that you cant convince everyone your way is a better way, me and you got different thought patterns, habits. Its not a bad thing, different strokes for different folks.

>>17492178
Cannabis is used in goddess worship. It makes you more female. Thus more, open to energies than say a penis. Penis usually goes one way, pussies can go both ways. Weed makes you into a pussy, for good or bad. The Sadhu's mix it with datura for fixing that, but they might be lying about it all to get high.

>>17492718
Sorry to break it to you mate, but you're the narcissist. There's definitely some compounding factors, but that is a serious delusion of grandeur.

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First time I got a hint of it was at the age of 9. I'm 23 now. It's such a core aspect of my life that I don't really know how I'd be different without it.

>>17491710
That experience of not existing comes after a process of seeing through the final thing you thought was "you." It isn’t that you stop experiencing in the way general anesthesia knocks you out, but that you realize that what you thought was ‘you’ is just a character with no more individual solidity and reality than a shadow.

Maybe explaining the process of how I got there will help. I’ll do that in the next post(s.)

At the very outset of this process a lot of years back, I came up with a thought experiment while locking horns with a fundie online. It went like this: if you took a newborn baby from a devout christian family in the heart of the bible belt and gave it to an equivalently devout muslim family in Iran to raise, that child would be raised in that culture and would naturally grow up to believe in islam with every bit as much sincere fervency as they’d have believed in jesus if they’d stayed in their family of origin. And vice versa: a newborn baby from a devout muslim family in Iran raised by a devoutly christian family in the bible belt would of course grow up believing fervently and devoutly in jesus with the same intensity they would otherwise have embraced islam if they had stayed in their birth family.

What I was getting at is that religious beliefs are nothing more than a consequence of where and when someone happens to be raised. That means it is not something inherent to you. It’s something you get from outside yourself.

And I saw that while people make religion an identity, it is not them, no matter how much they think it is. It’s from outside them. (cont)

>>17495337
(cont)Several years passed, and I gradually realized a lot of other things that we take to be “ourselves” are just stories, too. I moved to Hawaii ten years ago. At one point I heard a radio ad aimed at Native Hawaiian listeners. It was for a Hawaiian cultural fair. There would be kapa making, hula, elders telling stories, all kinds of stuff, and the bubbly announcer said happily “Come learn more about yourself!” and that just hit me hard. “Come learn more about yourself” - really? You have to drive someplace to learn culture. … It isn’t inherent to you, it has to be learned. And I don’t just mean Hawaiian culture, I mean every single culture there is. It doesn’t matter if you’re taught about it as a baby sitting on mama’s lap, or as an older person driving to a cultural fair in a car; either way, it’s still external, something that has to be taught. It’s not inherent, it’s not internal.

That’s a big thing, and it hit me really, really hard. Culture doesn’t exist, it’s just a collection of stories. It’s not real.

Things were really snowballing by this point. I wasn’t trying to make this process happen, and I didn’t really have any idea what was going on, but it was happening anyway. Identities fell away left and right. “I’m really good at learning languages.” If I lost that talent for whatever reason, would I stop being me? No? “I have brown hair.” Do I stop being me when it goes gray? … well, if I’m not any of those things, who am -I- really? I kept trying to find a real, solid, unrefutable answer to that question. Every answer I thought I had slipped through my fingers like water. “I’m my gender.” If I got sex reassignment surgery, would I stop being me? “I’m my nationality.” That’s just a story along the lines of culture. (cont)

>>17495340
(cont)
I saw that all these things I did, or rather, that I thought I was doing, were the result of outside influences. It’s like the wind forming the shape of a leaf pile. The pile might think it exists individually, but it is solely the product of the wind.

“I like this food/I don’t like that food.” Still not -me-; that’s a happenstance of genetics, as is my race. All these things come from outside me. If I’m not my race, my gender, my religious beliefs, my nationality, my culture …. what am I?
(done)

>>17495209
I take other peoples feelings into consideration when im discussing anything, if you feel any need to say all my beliefs are wrong, produce negative energy, or anything i just wont be friends or associate with you.

I know i fell for bait.

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I've been at it for over 10 years now.

People come and go, very interesting stuff happens once in a while, haven't had the figurative balls to fully embrace it yet. Not having the optimal environment for this either but I haven't given up on figuring this out. Feels like I'm meant to learn something from this experience.

It's a lonely kind of feeling so far. Hopefully it bears some fruit in the end.

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>>17488459
Reading that link made me realize I've been struggling with my ego ever since I was 5 years old.

Ive suddenly had a change in mentality when I was around 18. People thoughts and actions and the way they speak are easy for me to read and I hate it. I look at nothing with wonder anymore I no longer feel dwarfed by the mysteries of life. I look over thongs for what they are. A cute couple eating are just became two animals digesting material. I live in a small town on the states and I feel isolated here, I have friends but they are easy tp read as well. I still love them though. People in my life note to me for my intelligence but I only feel like a small fish in a large pond in a grander scale of things. Is this enlightentment or insanity that I am approaching?

>>17495498
However you want to perceive, insanity is in the eyes of its beholder.

But Im simply trying to grasp a few things here. Is thinking like this similar ro what you have experienced?

>>17495498
I had a similar thing for a while. Its a trap. You're taking critical theory to its absurdist endpoint. You've more or less successfully deprogrammed yourself from cultural values at surface level, but its left you empty. You need to keep going and get yourself out of the doldrums into a more interesting and productive state of mind.

>>17495528
Do you have any advice for me? I never dream either, and I have been getting scratches on my body in forms of three since I was about thirteen, they come out of thin air. does that have to do with anything?

>>17495536
My advice is to keep looking. What you're seeing is not the true nature of things. You have not arrived at the end of the road yet, far from it. Imagine if you actually did reach enlightenment, and thats what it was? Enlightenment would fucking suck. No one in their right mind would ever want that. You're not crazy either though, or at least not as far as I can tell from here. You're in a transitional place.

As far as the dreams and the scratches, thats outside of my area of knowledge.

>>17495541
It's ok. Thankyou for talking to me about this. I feel a lot less pessimistic about the future if im not not even close. What are some of the thoughts that you think?

>>17495551
You're welcome, happy to help when I can. What do you mean by other thoughts?

I'm starting to think the whole spirituality phase is a mixture of anxiety and psychosis.

Well, Im just generally interested in what you think about. Hm what do you think about humanity compared to other animals? Do you believe that the conciousness of a human is as powerful as that of a rabbit? Do you think it is the responsibility of the more concious to defend and look after the lesser concious? Is the selfishness that comes with humanity come with other sentient life? Or is the way that we think and feel a unique case?

>>17495563
What is there to be anxious about? If you truly believe what you believe in, you know things will work out in your favor at the end of day.

>>17495578
>what do you think about humanity compared to other animals?
If we all worked together like ants do, humanity would be a lot better.
>Do you believe that the conciousness of a human is as powerful as that of a rabbit?
Animals dont have the conciousness of a human, a rabbit/dog/cat does not have ego attached to it however.
>Do you think it is the responsibility of the more concious to defend and look after the lesser concious?
Pretty sure you heard of this saying, you can lead a horse to water, but cant make it drink.
>Is the selfishness that comes with humanity come with other sentient life? Or is the way that we think and feel a unique case?
I don't know how to answer this.

>>17495342
Well yeah, you are a product of your environment, and on a deeper level, the product of chemistry, and on a deeper level, the product of elementary physics.

That doesn't mean that you don't exist.

Same with culture: it is created by people, but it is shared and deeply held. It exists, as a concept in people's minds, as a way of being.

The leaf pile exists individually, even if it is the product of the wind. The fact that you exist because of prior circumstance doesn't invalidate you yourself!

Even the fundies believe they exist because a god decided to make them. What, exactly, is the issue with being emergent from reality?

You are the collection of thoughts and experiences, arranged in time, that belong to you. And yes, everything had its origin outside of you, but you still exist as that collection. You are the very real product of neurons doing their thing in a very real brain.

The conciousness question was to be swapped, I got distracted as I typed. I got banned for some reason Idk why. But those are interesting answers. What thoughts of yours make you happy and peace?

>>17495555
here

>>17495578
I think humanity is certainly a lot more connected to the planet, and a lot more primal than a lot of people are comfortable admitting. That said, I do not believe that is our lot. We are privileged among other animals, and have a more advanced consciousness. The more conscious should be available, but not pushy. Read "The Glass Bead Game" by Hermann Hesse for a perfect look at the "enlightened" and their place in the world. We should all be the Music Master, ideally. Selfishness comes with all living beings, although I think humans are the only ones who are cursed with the self awareness to see it, and be held to the standard of transcending it. I don't think you should kill yourself on the pyre of egalitarianism either though.

Beautifully put. Ill read that book. Thank you anon.

>>17495606
You put your finger on it when you say 'you exist as that collection.' You yourself have no sovereign, independent existence apart from those influences that have come together to constitute you. In other words, "you" do not exist; what you experience as you is made up of and completely dependent on things that are entirely not-you. You are a verb, not a noun, and a verb has no solidity; it's not a thing, it's a shadow.

>>17495692
No, "you" are a being. Be is a verb, but being is a gerund.

>The Latin gerund is used in a restricted set of syntactic contexts to denote the sense of the verb in isolation

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my "awakening" came at 19 when I was balls deep in tantric sex with the hottest girl at my high school. not even exaggerating, she was the hottest.

I realized that we were creations of god, not accidents of evolution, because of the perfection inherent in the union of man and woman. I saw the "fingerprints of god" in the curves of her body and the way my penis perfectly united with her vagina. I know the metaphor of a puddle thinking it is perfect for the hole it finds itself in, but this was different.

I was previously a devoted atheist, but my eyes were opened as I fucked this girl.

About the tantric sex: I have never had a "guru" but I knew what I was doing like it was encoded in my DNA. I experienced a union with her that was so profound that I felt what the sex was like from her perspective and during the experience of feeling her pleasure I felt what it was like to have a vagina. At that time I realized I was transgender. This type of union where the subtle body of one partner enters the other is described in the book Aghora: At the Left Hand of God, so I know I'm not just making this up.

The spiritual awakening part came because I realized a god had created us.I have lost A LOT of friends, have damn near lost my family, have been persecuted for my beliefs and only maintain my family relationships and my last friendship by keeping quiet about the things I believe.

I believe in God too much to believe in free will. This idea alienates and pisses off nearly everyone I tell it to even though I am forgiving of literally everyone on the planet from the second best person after Jesus to the worst pedophile rapist serial killer monster that ever lived. Why do people hate me so much? I can forgive *anything*. I guess people see it as weakness, oh well, I forgive them too.

>>17487580
Thank you, that was very interesting.

>>17496057
I'm not going to attempt to explain this any further; there really is no way to put it in words to make it so that someone who has never had the experience can understand it. The only way to understand it is to experience it for yourself. It is both the simplest thing in the world, and at the same time, it's tremendously difficult to overcome conditioning to grasp. You have to release intellectualization; the contents of the mind will not serve you; they will make you run around in circles.

>>17488751
I have no idea.

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>>17486164

Yo all of this is so complicated. I lost a lot. I moved to another country. I got put in a mental institution. The only thing I can say is if a guide is never wrong, trust it. Also gratitude goes a long way. Thank you for posting this thread.

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I'm just here to fork things

monkeys r soviets

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>>17487580

I had this and what keeps me going back to society is helping them get whatever they want out of life. I too snapped into non existence and yet I remain. Thank you for your story. Some friends of mine started a non profit for people like us.

10sineoutreach.org

>>17495342
Everything changes constantly.

>>17496199
You sound too condescending and full of yourself to truly be enlightened, just my two cents

I'm only here too talk shit and warp you and break things in u
come at us soviets
nothing gonna change
whatever location
fork my GitHub\
frederick

Strange question time : is BDSM incompatible with being "spiritually awakened"?
Because I suppose the view most people have on it is people hurting themselves, which is kinda true, but for me it's not the kind of 24/7 slavery or abusive body damage, just fun, arousing and ephemeral stuff in a relation with someone.

>>17495692
The other guy that responded wasn't me.

I still fail to see why having dependencies makes me any less real. Consciousness is a process, yes. So what? Microsoft word is a thing, a process, entirely dependent on other factors. The human mind is much the same way. I don't see why that should be such a big issue, or why it would cause you to stop liking the things that you like.

At most it seems like tautology rather than any kind of "spiritual enlightenment". Everything is dependant on factors that came before it, all the way back to the Big Bang.

The verb noun thing just seems like meaningless word play to me.

It began as a perfect triangle in my mind. Then appeared more perfectly designed shapes, always more complex and vivid until they became symbols. Every possible symbol was projected into my minds eye until they became somewhat more biological. Felt as if the window of life itself was opening right before my very eyes.

I saw the most beautiful unreal landscapes and tried to grasp the perfection of it all but then a very geometric yet biological curtain was put on my mind's eye. That's where things started getting scary.

I heard familiar voices tell me "Everything you say is a lie". "Don't listen to them". And then, out of nowhere, an infinity of eyes opened themselves from the curtain and the purest whitest light came from the heavens...in the shape of the flower of life. At this point, i was feeling total bliss and utter hopelessness at the same time, which almost shattered my mind and made me break out from my trance.

So yeah, i still don't quite understand what happened and it definitely left a scar on my soul. I now feel lonely and anxious almost every night, but it has awakened something deep within me...a deep thirst for the absolute knowledge of all things, especially those which our senses are unable to perceive and our mind never to grasp.

Anyway, best of luck to you op, as i still feel frail and weakened mentally from that destructive experience, but i truly believe that in the end everything will be alright.

>>17496279
I'm actually the opposite of condescending or full of myself.

>>17496299

Pain is a part of spiritual growth. Master slave mentality is ingrained in this process. Ultimately spirituality is about letting go of control that you never had. So yeah there is a conceptual overlap. But ultimately one is an expression of desire. The other is so much more.

>>17492213
>>17491669
I am still a little bitter, but yeah, retard is the right word when you have a daughter and still smoke weed and act like you did when you were sixteen down to the retarded binge drinking loser friends and illformed political opinions based in ignorance and blind desire and no foresight.

The other one recently called me a narcissist for talking about things I care about and not knowing anything about her when I ask constantly but getting her to say anything about herself or lead a conversation is like pulling teeth and has been for the past 10 years. She 'tolerates' my interests and doesn't want me to have any expectations of her, yet doesnt see that what she would 'be okay with', for example getting drunk and not offering her broke ass a beer, would make me feel like a dick. I'm the narcissist because whenever I want to do something, I have to pay double or be told I'm showing off for having a job.

So yeah, let he who is without sin cast some stones here. Lel. But seriously, I've spent years being dragged down because I thought they were my friends and that it was all I could get. Then I remember what I knew before them and get back on the spiritual path and the shit has been washed from my eyes. I see their bullshit rationalizations and aphorisims and tall poppy games just as sure as I saw through my own. Only instead of calling it out, wanting to change together, and getting dragged back down, I stopped talking to them and my life has only gotten better.

>>17486164
when I was in colorado and read the 4chan image where theres a tree in the OP and anon talks to God, then my trip on shrooms really accelerated things.

>>17486164
i guess i'll just share this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT93U8fvF8E

recently i've had a major shift ^

but i've been on a path towards awareness for 6 years now. maybe more. maybe ten depending on how you look at it. i've had a lot of transitions and varying degrees of breakthroughs change. people and places come and go, but it's always for the better.
it's gonna be great

>>17495536
Shed yourself to the point where you see what you and everyone else is fundamentally, as at that point there will be nothing but love towards all as you will see yourself in all. Also happiness follows naturally wherever there is love, so if you get to the point where you can love everything equally, then you will be forever happy and at peace.

>>17486259
Please dont get scared. There is nothing to be scared. Your mind just try to scare you because it is losing its grip on you. Keep on pushing through or go speak to a enlightened being for help.

>>17486164
you're not alone anon.

but you must fight through, continue to pour love where fit and help others, for all are on a journey and will find their way eventually.
it seems those i love most are not awakened but that may be their soul choice, regardless i love and support, and still will push on for fulldisclosure.today

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“They enter into blind darkness who worship Avidya (ignorance and delusion); they fall, as it were, into greater darkness who worship Vidya (knowledge).

By Vidya one end is attained; by Avidya, another. Thus we have heard from the wise men who taught this.

He who knows at the same time both Vidya and Avidya, crosses over death by Avidya and attains immortality through Vidya.

Those who follow or "worship" the path of selfishness and pleasure (Avidya), without knowing anything higher, necessarily fall into darkness; but those who worship or cherish Vidya (knowledge) for mere intellectual pride and satisfaction, fall into greater darkness, because the opportunity which they misuse is greater. "

get your heads out of your asses niggas

>>17492650
>
>>17492718
I belive you :)

>>17499294
That is the Isopanishad, is it not? Thank you for the different reading.

http://www.vedabase.com/en/iso/9

andhaṁ tamaḥ praviśanti
ye 'vidyām upāsate
tato bhūya iva te tamo
ya u vidyāyām ratāḥ

Those who engage in the culture of nescient activities shall enter into the darkest region of ignorance. Worse still are those engaged in the culture of so-called knowledge.

>>17499294
Vidya killed the radio star.

ITT:

>"I can't even meditate more than 5 minutes."

>"I've reached 'enlightenment' because I've smoked DMT"

spiritual awakening can mean many things

>>17486164
21
but it ended when I was 22 because it conflicted with some elements of my life
it was magical
now I'm caught dead in the water
I hope everything will be okay

>>17500745
and what I mean by conflicted with my life is that it made me intensely suicidal, and I knew if I kept it up I would have to die for it to fully reveal itself
I couldn't, though, and it had to stop so I could bear reality again
I fucked up

>>17492237
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH5P3Q4mdJU

>>17492315
The way I see it, there's two possibilities with paranoia and odd magical thinking like that.

He had a mental illness and the weed was an attempt to self-medicate.

Or

He was prone to mental illness or odd thinking and the drugs pushed him over the edge.

If he's starting to take delusions into every day life you should encourage him to lay off the drugs. He probably won't and if he's an adult you can't really do anything, but you'll at least have a clean conscience if something bad happens. You shouldn't do drugs with him either.

>>17487432
I don't think all of humanity is going through it. I hate to say it but I really don't. Maybe more than before are figuring things out but definitely not all. I see what you're both >>17486802 saying though. I feel like this has been happening to me lately and it's hard to express to people in my life. Sometimes I feel so in touch with reality and I feel like I'm the crazy one because everyone else around me is so far from it and I see things clearly. Sometimes I feel so okay that I feel really bad. I don't know.

>>17500773
what compels you?