How do you protect against vampires?

>>17422585
Fucking them, eventually becoming one of them, then letting a werewolf fuck your vampire baby

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>>17422596

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>>17422585
"How do I shit post" the thread.

>>17422585
Masterbate furiously while walking in their direction.

>>17422585
you turn off the TV

>>17422769
So, feeding it fatty foods until massive coronary?

>>17422585
graduating from third grade is usually pretty effective in making you safe from vampires

DONT BUY VAMPIRE SLAYING KITS THERE EXPENSIVE BULLSHIT-bram smoker

>>17422585
vampire scene died along with goth half a decade ago...the bitch who wrote twilight killed them all...and SJW emo feminist assholes stealing the goth and punk look and sounds for activism everyone hated drove most of them away too.

long story short vampires are no longer a concern...on a related note hot goth chicks are also gone.

oh well ya win some ya lose some

>>17422585
You gotta find yourself an Italian to teach you Hamon.

>>17422585
Why are the shills pushing vampirism?

>>17422925
shills?
pushing?
where?

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>>17422630
Psi vamps are a common concern.
More people say they encounter them than Jesus. prolly.

>>17422812
Apostrophé, comma, "they're". Let me show you.

"Don't buy vampire slaying kits, they're expensive bullshit."

See? English isn't that hard.

>>17422585
At least one anon sees what you did there.

>>17423700
Stockpiling weapons of mass reality destruction.
MAGIC IS COMING

>>17423659
the technical term is Malignant Narcissist

>>17422585
Just read Twilight and they'll won't come near you but watch out they may vomit blood instead.

>>17422585
Does Ellis like vampires?

>>17424354
Who knows? She's different for everyone.
Maybe it would depend on the vampire, some psi vamps want to dumb people down, so they'll be in conflict with her.

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Hey /x/ am I in the right place how do I protect against Tilda Swinton ??

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>>17422585
With one of these?

>>17423659
http://www.llewellyn.com/journal/article/513

>not wanting to become an immortal lord of the night

cattle detected

>>17422585
im christian so im immune

>>17425476
Not how it works anon.

You can kill them like any other human

You have to stake them to their coffin, though, because they don't really die

>>17425688
>you can kill them
>they don't really die

Time fore bed champ, you've got school in the morning.

>>17425701

You misunderstand

Kill them like any other human, and they'll "die".

They'll eventually come to in their coffin if they aren't cremated, though.

kill them with silver (bullets, blades, blunt objects; nonsilver equivalents have no effect) or decapatation.

There's a lot of myths surrounding vampires (stake trough heart kills them, garlic and crucifixes ward them off). Vampires do need to drink human blood to be healthy. Or else they die. Blood from other animals can sustain them but often times doesn't fill them up "right" or makes them sick.

I've met one group of vampires is east Texas. They were pretty chill and old (all looked extremely young for their age, which was in the hundreds). I almost became one but I thought of my family and declined their offer. They understood.

If anyone is at or near Tyler, Texas. I can tell you where their hideout was.

>>17422585
Call Eve.
MIB

>>17422585
I pray morning and night, exercise, eat healthy, smoke weed, worship Allah, follow The 10 Commandments, recite Surat Al-Jinn to the tentacle monster, the Jinn, Iblis/Satan.

>>17424883
Underrated post

>>17425749
peace and turning the other cheek, the zombies just want you to be violent
let God deal with the Jinn, the Dead Spirit of Iblis/Satan.

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>>17422585
dat fukken ellis hypersigil....

>>17426767
Are you going to kiss that frog or what?

>>17422585
http://ultraculture.org/blog/2014/01/16/nlp-10-ways-protect-mind-control/

>>17425749
I'm just east of Dallas. Can you tell me where it is, or at least how I can run into them?

>>17422596
Should we report posts that say 'letting a werewolf fuck your vampire baby'?
This anon's pedobear senses are triggered.

>>17427455
I think it was a Twilight reference. I vaguely recall hearing that Jacob gets paired up with Bella and Edward's daughter, to make up for all the cockteasing in book two.

Under the circumstances, I'm disappointed in you that you didn't say "pedowolf" instead.

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>>17427975
The story didn't captivate me "imprinted"

>>17422585
By eating a FUCK TON of garlic daily.

The smell is worth it, dem deeminz aint suckin my dick

>>17429011
Your autopost script broke just now.

>>17427212
Not that guy but if you wanna look into weird shit then try Athens, Tx. history. About 40 minutes away from Tyler. Spoopy shit goes on there. There's a u tube movie about it somewhere. I will try to find it for ya.

Half of my family lives in Tyler. There is def. 'spiritual' weirdos there. As for vamps, unlikely.

>>17429813
Here's one link to provide some backstory. Still looking for the full documentary. I'll find it eventually.
https://blackofday.com

Just keep tossing flash bangs until they leave. Like I mean literally just keep chucking an unreasonable amount. Eventually they'll be annoyed with constantly being blind and deaf and they will leave.

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>>17429836
interesting! thanks for sharing

>>17429813


It's a very common belief that Athens was founded by an occult group/cult in 1851. A past mayor of the town even confirmed this after reading the founding documents.

I can't find the documentary I wanted to post. It may have been removed. I have to go to work but I will look again later. I may have it saved somewhere.