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Tell me a joke.
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Q: what's brown and sticky?
A: a stick
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>>211915
>inb4 YOURE'RE LYFE XDDDDDDD
Anyway, here's a classic meme:
An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?"
The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid."
"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"
"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."
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>>211922
That's good!
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Q: whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts
A: ones a dollar 49 and the other is under a buck
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>>211915
women's rights
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Q: do you know why white people cant jump
A: its because they are to busy making racist jokes
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>>212033
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>>212033
Is this a reference to the negros joke?
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My regular Indian taxi driver picked me up whilst singing along to his crappy Punjabi music at the top of his voice.
He smiled when I pulled out my set of new ear plugs, "Looks like you've come prepared this time," he said laughing.
I smiled back at him and replied, "Yes," as I put them up my nostrils.
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Two fish are in a tank. One said to the other, you drive, I'll man the gun.
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2 cannables are eating a clown and one says to the other hey does this taste funny to you
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>>212112
kek
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>>211915
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A crusty old man walks into a bank and says "i want to open a fucking savings account". The astonished woman replies "I beg your pardon sir,but that kind of language is not tolerated here".
She goes to the bak manager to complain. The bank manager agrees that such foul language shall not be accepted. They both return to the window and the bank manager asks the old geezer "Sir what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no fucking problem", the man says.
"I just won $200 million in the mother fucking lottery and i want to put my fucking money in this fucking bank".
"I see", says the bank manager "And is this bitch giving you a hard time, sir?"
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A Spaniard, a Chilean, an American and a Mexican are on a cruise. The Spaniard, trying to appear better than the rest, grabs a steak and says "we have a lot of this in my country" and throws it to the ocean.
The Chilean, not to be outdone, grabs a bottle of wine and says "we have a lot of this in my country" and throws the bottle to the ocean.
The American thinks for a second and says "we have a lot of this in my country" and throws the Mexican to the ocean.
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The morning after a huge orgy, Thor was walking around the Palace, when he spots a loli nymph reclining in a chaise longue.
Thinking he might get some more action out of the orgy he approached the diminutive girl and announced in an impressive manner "I am Thor".
To which the nymph replied "Indeed. I'm tho thore I can hardly pith".
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Adolf Hitler said he will gas the Jews and a clown.
When asked why the clown had to be gassed, Hitler replied, "See, nobody cares about the Jews."
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>>211917
Holy shit this was what I was going to say
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An old coroner and a young coroner were about to do an autopsy. When they pulled the sheet off the corpse, the first thing they both noticed was the guy's dick. It was huge. It went around the guy's hip and practically touched the slab.
The old coroner said, "Mine is just like that."
The young coroner said, "Your dick is that big?"
"No, my dick is that dead."
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A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices a rather dashy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled "hello" to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him and -- although familiar -- he can't place where he might know her from. So he says: "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies: "I think you're the father of one of my children."
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Holy shit," he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ass?"
"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher!"
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
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Man to give sperm sample. Returns empty jar to Doctor.
Explains: Tried with my left hand. Tried with my right. Wife tried to help and used both her hands. She even tried with her mouth. Neighbour came over to try - she couldn't get it done either.
Doctor interrupts: Your *neighbour*?
Man: Yeah, you'd think three adults could get the lid off a damn jar...
Thread posts: 27
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Thread images: 7