Steven Seagal

sorry but i doubt anyone has anymore of these

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>>1717644
i still have few

>>1717733
>ex CIA operative

>>1717163
lol those bullets aren't even real

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Did you know that Seagal invented the famous hand switch technique?

Steven Seagal is a cool russian motherfucker

>>1718433
He's a Russian-Serbian-American motherfucker with Japanese-Mongolian-Italian blood in him.

He is also spritually Native American and Tibetan.

>>1717133
What did he mean by that?

>>1717725
>Live action Deus Ex movie

>>1718425
>>1718428
i think this is how Steven walks around his house

>>1717736
I love how the butt of the gun is barely touching his shoulder

Fuckin hell I though Decker was obvious satire, but I guess its a little closer to the mark than I believed.

>>1717744

Kek

>>1718428
>>1718425
>>1717888
>>1717744
>>1717736
>>1717730
>>1717159
>>1717126


pfft, you desus only wish you could operate this good

>>1717163
>sniper elite 3 trailer

>>1717725
he's the ton

>>1717133
I cant unsee how uneven his goatee is.

>>1717126
I guess someone has a man crush.

>>1717888
"wait, I'm still ali.."
*pewt*

>>1717730
fuckin kek

>>1718425
hahahahahah

>>1717736
>tactical Seagal-tee™
>walking Oakley billboard
>rare butt-over-shoulder stance
>airsoft-tier optic that doesn't even clear the front post sight
>tactically huffing down the middle of the street
>eating the pie before slicing it
>checking the ceiling before the left corner
I love this .webm. Every time I watch it, there's something new to discover. Steven Seagal is the gift that keeps on giving.

>>1717163
movie?

>>1722806
did steve get pissed off at joe rogan once bc he said he ran like the biggest gaywad?

desu i don't know what he's mad about. he does run like the biggest gaywad ever.

>>1717126
Fuck yeah

>>1717730
Just point and click!
Seriously it's sad how difficult it is for him to do something as simple as bring his hands together.

>>1717133
what happened
-hada hud da

>>1722806
How did he became an actor so well known?

>>1717126
Do you wanna mean Steven FATgal?

>>1717888
>filename
lel

>>1717400
I always feel so bad for the other actors

>>1727263
Because he's really good at shagging niggas.
I mean he opened the first non-Japanese aikido school in Japan, what did you expect?

>>1719928
Don't forget
>The obviously empty plate carrier
>That part where he relaxes before he finishes checking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ypvh-pnpek

>>1717146

damn, thats a nice coat, i want one

>>1717169

damn, dude, he has enormous hands

no joke, he scares me.
i hope i never meet him.

>>1718437
and part kike.

>>1717126
hos name is a bird

>>1717146
Bet that's how the sun looks like on Mercury.

>>1719950
Shitty Seagal Movie #45, not to be confused by Shitty Seagal Movie #54

>>1727263
He was a decent action movie star at the start and later he was kind of a running joke (no pun intended) in Hollywood.

>>1717733
This guy is a fucking madman.

>>1727263
Mike Ovitz, a Hollywood agent, wanted to show how powerful he was. The story is that Ovitz bragged that he could make anyone into a movie star. Voila, we got Seagal.

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>>1718428
I almost thought he was wearing two watches as well.

>>1718425
Why is he wearing two fucking watches?
Is he one of those shady figures who sells fake rolexes in alleys?

>>1757511
he does wear two watches all the time. Both IRL and in his movies.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CM0-4JmUcAAlJuH.jpg

>>1717133
"Well I'm sorry to hear that, cuz now, I'll snatch every mother-fucker birthday"
Did I hear that right?

>>1757835
>https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CM0-4JmUcAAlJuH.jpg

HAHAHAHAHAH

>>1753102
Float like a butterfly,
sting like every motherfucker birthday.

>>1757815
It's because he's ambidextrous.

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>>1717163
>mfw the only movie that seagal ever gets injured/dies in was executive decision
>literally cut out of the film after the first 20mins
would love to know the story behind that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Itr_7Sxgpuw
Cum Towne summarizes Steven Seagull's Sniper Special Ops

>>1717412
childs

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>>1757815
One watch shows Moscow time for his BFF Putin and other watch shows Arizona time for his BFF#2 Joe Arpaio

>>1717733
>just b urself

Seagal is now USA, Serbian and Russian citizen.

What citizenship will he get next?

>>1717133
>that pause
it's like when went through the entire line in his head before committing

>>1717412
kino

Is Seagal legit autistic? He seems to have a lack of self awareness.

>>1761538
It's a good question.

it's getting to the point where i can't tell if he's a complete joke or so good he doesn't need to try

Is Seagal the greatest method actor in the world even surpassing Daniel Day Lewis?

>>1752441
oh my fuck you made me spit all over my desk

>>1757815
for balance

>>1760609
a whole five seconds.

Y'all missed the best one he ever did:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMByDfFMPcE

>>1757841
I can't unhear it now after reading your post.

>>1759174
They say it was just for shock value but let's be honest, he was quite a big name in 1996 so the filmmakers just scammed more people into watching thinking it was going to be another Under Siege.

>>1771494
Is that blue shirt guy Tucker Carlson?

>>1734504
he looks like a fucked up Alec Baldwin

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:'(

>>1717165
>>1717169
>>1717422
>>1780049

Those poor actresses who probably have been sexually assaulted by him off camera.

11/10 thread

>>1780035
fake martial artist.

Aikido is such bullshit.

>>1780174
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

>>1717126

So is this guy aware he's a bullshit artist and just does it for the lulz or is he really this delusional?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF8sWDUZcSE

>>1780052
>Gomenasai, my name is Steven-Sama.

>I train with my M1911A1 every day, this superior weapon can shoot down a helicopter because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my pistol license years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJozK6lsQHE

This is the best thread currently on /wsg/

>>1717126
This thread offends me. Segal senpai is LITERALLY the ultimate sensei warrior mega master and will fuck your shit up if you ever disrespect him like this in his final dojo

>>1782112
Seagal is so out of shape that he would have his stuntmen to fuck your shit up for him

>>1780057
this is just sad. it's like parading a monkey in a suit.
has he had a stroke or something?

>>1780057
He operates on an entirely different level

Under Siege 2 is actually a good film.

I urge you to watch it, if you get the chance.

>>1782112
Here's an example just how badass Seagal is IRL

especially at 0:53

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqA3UoMH4yY

This shit is better than any YLYL thread. Good god.

>>1780048
Oh god I need just the Seagal part

>>1717159
>>1717736
>>1717744
>>1717888
>>1780037
>>1780057

"Fuck method acting"

S. Seagal

>>1717133
gods, it's like he's so fat he can't get the words out of his fat face

>>1780057
ADVANCED TACTICAL MANEUVER

>>1717888
>that file name

Haha hahahahahahahahahahhahaha

>>1780048
>extends his unguarded arm
>his opponent has the reach advantage, wakizashi vs jian
Seagull should have lost there

>>1783520
But he produced the movie, so he won.

>>1783605
>Guy has a firearm
>walk towards Seagal with a short sword
What did he mean by that?

Seagal clips are godly.
I wish I knew where to find the double backhand slap across the room. It put a smile on my face back in the day.

>>1717422
A FUCKING PAINTING OF HIMSELFFFFF

>>1717733
bare in mind he did this in chechnya of all places, chechnya...

>>1780057
is it just me or is the strap on the gun so tight that he can't get the but of the rifle past his face?

>>1780178
cuz now, i'll snatch every mother fucker birthday

>>1783768
EASY

>>1717739
What movie?

>>1780049
ASHI

>>1783754
Why not? Seagal is a slav and Chechnya is a slavic country.

>>1717126
god he looks like a roasted ham

>>1771537
kek

What does Steven Seagal smell like?

>>1780174
Aikido is definitely not bullshit, but he's also not doing aikido properly here at all. This is just kayfabe from top to bottom.

>>1784689
Punani

>>1783624
maybe he was out of ammo and wanted to hit him with the gun?!

>>1780052
Wow. Spinning the camera to trick you into thinking the heli is spinning. Can he get any lower budget?

>>1727263
This >>1753342 and because Seagal movies were kind of a "new form" of action films. His 90s films were unironic violent and straight no nonsense revenge movie, a mixture from the thriller of the 70s and the action film of the 80s. This formula still works like we can see in movies like "John Wick" and Seagal was maybe not the first, but the most popular one with this formula.
He could easily have a successful career until today if he would stayed in shape and don't became crazy, but since this fucker started his environmental Buddha shit with "On deadly Ground", everything went downhill.

>>1780035
I feel like I'm watching the special needs kid finally get to play and everyone has to let him win

>>1780057
Is Seagal a master troll?

>>1789551
That's literally all of his movies

>>1783605
>Jumpcut, the movie

>>1717736
>checking the ceiling

why has god abandoned us

>>1722796
Was that CIA he hit with the door?

>>1784726
how the fuck is aikido not total bullshit? people usually don't run into you at full speed and then do a flip when you pull their hand. you have any type of proof this shit ever works?

>>1717146
big kung fu sons

>>1784689
meatballs, hair gel and destruction

>>1719928
he didn't eat a pie

>>1784726
confirmed spastic

>>1783904
On Fatter Ground.

>>1780174
Aikikai is.

>>1757841
>>1777114
I thought I've heard the exact same thing even before I've read your post. What is the original line?!

>>1717126
Dont die on me thread.

>>1717165
WHERE'S HER NIPPLES?

>>1789502
My friend who was really serious martial arts, military, etc (and is career in the latter, so no slacker) was a huge Seagal fan growing up. We watched Under Siege and Cliffhanger a couple times on VHS.

Under Siege was... weird. Like, I'm not sure if they were insulting our intelligence or paying respect to our intelligence/imagination by leaving these huge tangentially-mentioned character story holes. Like when Seagal and the villain meet in the end and are like "Been a long time," and then Seagal gives a speech about how they're the same peons in the system, the audience is collectively like like, "Wait, did we miss something here?" My friend then told me this story about how the two were SEALs together and both got fucked over but one took the decommission in stride while the other quit and went crazy for revenge.

I dunno, man. But respect to Under Siege still being the only film that's basically showcases aikido and a bunch of filmdom-lacking martial arts.

>>1780035
>>1780174
I can tell you this is waaaay harder than it looks. The guys coming at him are black-belt, likely 3dan or higher (since there's two and not ten of them). They are trying to attack him with some kind of grapple action and his goal is to respond using as much of their force and is little of his own against them. Their best option, to avoid being put in a hold of some sort, is then to break off and roll away.

That's basically how the exercise ends up looking like the aikidoka in the center stands as motionless as possible while the others just come in and roll away, even though if they're doing it right (and you can bet those guys wearing hakama are doing it right) there is a lot of subtle difference and complex action in each approach and response, and both parties actually expend a shitload of energy.

>>1790460
He's hired by top-class UFC fighters to teach them advanced submission techniques. Look it up.

None of this is to defend Seagal as an actor, film producer, or person of character (though I don't know him personally and won't judge someone based on whether they have a painting of themselves -- everyone here is a douchebag in their own way -- the first two he definitely sucks at though).

>>1717159
is he left handed?

>>1780057
>>1718425
>>1718428
If he's actually trained well enough with a pistol or rifle to use it with either hand, fine, more power to him. Oddly enough, it shouldn't make much difference whether or not one is ambidextrous when it comes to learning a single action like firing a pistol or rifle, so power to you if it helps you get a firing position around a wall or something. Those of us in the martial arts learn to use certain weapons ambidextrously. In kendo if you are advanced enough to learn and use jodan you can basically use a sword ambidextrously.

Though for assault rifles, don't many of them tend to be right-hand-only as far as ejecting shell casings goes? I don't know about the one he's using, but if that weren't the case wouldn't he have to flip a switch to change the ejection direction?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ_iMJdDSzY
Someone make a webm out of this please.

>>1795531
He's ambidextrous. Seagal invented the hand switch technique.

>>1760609
he just had a stroke

>>1717739
i have a gun, better walk towards the guy

>>1717744
effective use of the recoil

>>1796149
From the thumbnail I first thought he was sipping a strand of spaghetti.

In seriousness though he'd make an awesome villain, maybe like a Bond #1 henchman or something.

>>1717730
The second guy clearly falls between him and the wall and he walks around him, yet in the shot immediately after that he's right next to the wall again.

what the steven seagal one where he's pissin in a restroom and some black guy is saying stop it or something to him then a bomb explodes.

>>1796546
more like the guy who gets run over by a steam roller

>>1797321
Well the #1 henchman always dies in a spectacular way. Even Jaws, when defeated-but-not-quite-killed, was dispatched epicly.

>>1795537
Can't comment on all assault rifles, but AR15 variants can be used either way, the direction of the ejection don't make a huge difference. One of my sergeants was very skilled with both hands and would regularly switch around depending on the circumstances (for example when you're behind a wall and want to expose as little as possible of your body while still being able to fire back), we were encouraged to do the same.

>>1784726
Aikido is absolute bullshit, Aikijutsu is the real shit.

>>1800059
Thanks faggot.

For those actually willing to take 4chan's version of the "my-martial-art-is-better-than-yours" shitfest seriously, I'll respond to this guy and say you can't seriously study one -do or -jutsu without the other and anyone who claims to do so doesn't have any business running a school.

>>1742012
holy shit someone tell me you edited this

>>1717736
I keep think this is Danny McBride making fun of Segal, then I realize it's actually Segal trying to be cool. God dammit.

>>1752405
"That's for my wife, fuck you and die."

I dunno, that's kind of a bad ass line.

>>1717126
For the love of god....dont die on me thread

>>1727263
>>1752501
Under Siege is legitimately a good movie. But there were other things holding that together that probably overshadowed any of his own issues...

>>1780034
Lmfao. It was about after this movie I stopped watching any with him in it.

>>1794166
that is the original line

he talked about it in his reddit AMA. apparently its police slang

>>1783605
>>1783624
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckz7EmDxhtU
probably technically this but i don't know how the lazy seagal walk applies in this situation

>>1783624
He could not escape the gravitational pull.

>>1717146
Holy shit

Im sure this has a "oriental mystic moment" soundtrack to it

>>1717163
That looks cool, and you know it.

>>1717725
The more you look at it, the more it is obvious they've sped their footage up x10

>>1717409
>1992+25
>not having your own falcon fade in
>shiggy diggy

>>1783749
Keeeek

>>1766541
not bad desu

>>1790014
TWICE after the tacti180, This is some funny shit, thanks

Unironic kino.

>>1717733
btw, this is in Chechnya where UN says they electrocute gays, at the end the handshake (purple shirt) is with the president.

why is big guy stevie taken so seriously?

>>1797306
EASY

>>1808403
>why is big guy stevie taken so seriously

Only people who take him seriously are slavs

>>1783997
Chechnya is not a slavic country anon

>>1783758
Seems to be so tight, that he can't even shoulder the rifle properly. Also love how his chest rig is sitting on his fat fucking gut, making him look even more ridiculous.

>>1717133
His head is an actual potato. My God.

>>1717744
>>1717736

>Literally too fat to use a rifle properly.
>Someone paid him to be in this film
>People paid to see him in this film.

>>1801170
>apparently its police slang
I don't believe it, solely because it came for seagal

>>1801033
if someone says they edited it, they edited the whole fucking movie

>>1779516
Seagal doesn't get tucked

>>1766541
Unironically the best thing he has ever done... was a soft drink ad.

>>1795526
No, he was never hired by top-class UFC fighters to teach them submission techniques. The only thing he's done is claim he was the one to teach Anderson Silva the kick he knocked out Vitor Belfort with. There's a video of a Anderson goofing on him, you're retarded.

>>1780035
can we get this but with Trump as segal and CNN as the other two?

>>1766541
Is that CIA at the very end there.

>>1795526
"hired" there's a difference between being a part of a fighters camp and having a movie star drop in to talk shit and drum up publicity, please consider suicide

>>1783605
so was the first guy trying to stab him with a gun or????????????????????

>>1795526
Yeah its way hard to convince your sparing partner how to feed into your own bullshit.

>>1783976
kek

>>1806432

No it doesn't.

>>1717888
Fucking filename.

didn't he molest his coworkers?