Rage Thread - Cooking Edition

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>>1677594

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>>1677595

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>>1677596

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>>1677600

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>>1677601

>>1677601
Perspective of a chef as we go through this.
I didn't actually see the ingredients before hand.

>Pineapple
Ok cool, dessert maybe?
>Is that sugar? (No it's jello)
Eh, yeah, this is a dessert.
>Butter
Okaaaaay, that's alot of butter, but maybe you're making alot of food.
>Green onions
This isn't a dessert.
>Tomato(????Is it tomato? It's unmarked)
What the fuck is this guy doing?
>Pecans
Why?
>A WHOLE THING OF COOL WHIP
For what reason!?
>Into a baking pan
What the fuck are you making!?
>Add cheese
NO!

This was a nightmare, 7/10, not worse thing I've seen but holy fuck that's just gross.

HE BAKED FUCKING JELLO.

>>1677768
It looks like cream cheese rather than butter, but still disgusting. Looks like something my grandmother might make (she's a terrible cook)

>>1677601
>>1677768
>>1677853

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf_W7As6xbk

This video gives the full list of ingredients and cooking instructions if you wish to try it at home.

>>1677594
Rage triggered BBQ guy here.. They should first learn how to cook a pork butt properly for pulling AND know how to use the claws before trying to demonstrate those.

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Wow these are all terrible, I love it

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>>1677596

Got any webms of Jack eating his raw chicken bake?

>>1677596
I've never watched this guy's show/videos nor seen anything about him outside of these threads.

Does he have a gimmick? Is the joke that he's kind of bad at what he does? Or is it supposed to be a legit 100% serious cooking show.

>>1677601
Every time I see "4 hours later..." in this I expect it to cut to him still adding shit.

>>1678148
He's kinda inherently goofy in his personality, but the cooking itself is supposed to be serious.

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>>1678148

He takes it completely seriously. He even took his BBQ sauce company onto one of those 'pitch for investment' TV shows; where they challenged him to a grilling contest and he got owned (he also started crying iirc).

I haven't been on /ck/ for a while but there used to be multiple Ja/ck/ threads every day.

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>>1678221

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>>1678228

>>1678152
underrated

>>1678228
How are you supposed to open a coconut. I figured there'd be special tools and I'm guessing they don't have them if they're resorting to a knife and rolling pin.
>>1678233
Or okay maybe they're just that stupid. Or they also don't have a can opener.

>>1678221
>oh it's a whole capsicum
>uhhhhhh
>*tears it up*
this fag literally can't cook

>>1678233
holy shit. she's more scared of hitting her fingers with the pin than slicing them off with the knife

>sharp side facing her
stahhpppp

>>1678668
What??? I am so triggered right now that shit is not food!

>>1678242
>how are you supposed to open a coconut

With a machete from what I've seen. They sell machete stylr knives for the kitchen, works well for melon cutting too.

>>1678668
>>1678673
These are those Mexican food stands that started one upping each other on ridiculous shit right?

>>1678673
Did he put fuckin yams, snails, and motherfuckin sunny d on bbq lays chips wtf????

Speaking as someone who lives to eat, I want to die.

>>1678668
>>1678673
>beaners pay for and willingly eat this shit
My paisanos will never redeem themselves. That stuff is just utter shit. Holy fuuuuuuuuuck.

>>1678668
that's gross. how can anybody eat that shit (and pay for it)?

>>1678221
even the limes are sliced incorrectly

>>1678668
That looks tasty af, fuck the rest of you guys.

>>1678114
i thought this was going to have an edit with Jack doing his patented egg cracking technique

>>1678668
The thing that always gets me the most about this one is the way she cuts open the bag of doritos. It seems so fancy for opening a bag of fucking chips.

>>1678944
A dry coconut like that is best opened with a hammer. Drain the liquid first obviously.

>>1678944
I remember my dad used to make a couple of holes in the top with a screwdriver and a hammer to drain the milk then give it a whack with the hammer to open it

>>1678944

We're using the knife but it's inverted to smash the coconut

>>1678668
hey this is interesting to eat this if you ask me

>>1677601
Why the he put A WHOLE WHIPPED CREAM ?

>>1677768
He didn't bake jello, not for 4 hours, he let it rest so it solidified.

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>>1678228
>>1678233

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>>1677594

>>1679514
>Microwaving raw chicken. What the fuck

does someone have the link to maries homemade italian tomato sauce or the webms? seems it was deleted

>>1679514
>12 mins in the microwave
Just fucking cook it then.

>>1678228
>>1678233
>the coconut of patriarchy

>>1678221
Michelin stars,
Canned or supermarket veg.
One or the other.

>>1678668
I didn't know/am disgusted this sort of thing happens.

>>1679701
I'm pretty sure the filename is ironic.

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>>1678221
Isn't that his "Garbage Stew"

>>1678668
I love how she places those doritos like it's a finely crafted meal

>>1678242
If it were me I'd make a coconut cracker that's basically just a scaled-up nutcracker with some kind of irrigation mechanism to catch the water.

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>>1679981

Yep it's the Garbage Stew. At least he's honest about it.

Also, thanks for posting the Yorkshire puddings m8. I have quite a few Ja/ck/ WebMs, but didn't have that. I was on the verge of just asking for someone to post it.

>>1679701

Like >>1679708 said, the filename is a joke my dude.

>>1680100

>Like >>1679708 said

Meant to quote >>1679731.

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>>1680100

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>>1680109

>>1678132

I got you m8.

>>1678242

Look for the three "eyes" on the coconut. Using a hammer and screw driver drive holes into the eyes. Drain the liquid out of the coconut through the holes. Protip: brown coconut liquid is not for drinking as it tastes horrible.

Next take a large kitchen knife and hold it with the blunt side away from you. Holding the coconut in one hand, smack the coconut with the blunt side of the knife around the equator of the coconut. You should form a rhythm of smacking the coconut and rotating it a bit then smacking it again. Eventually the coconut will break in two.

To get the meat to separate from the shell use a blunt tip knife to pry the meat from the shell working around the edge, or use a specialized tool shaped like a crescent that can slip further into the coconut half.

>>1677612
i was laughing along until
>dropped into cold oil
>triggered.png.gif.webm

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>>1680112

>>1677600
he did that to specifically freak his son out, I HOPE he doesn't do that regularly

>>1680122
i have an aunt that actually does this shit for family gatherings. except its jalapeno jelly.
fucking white people, man

>>1677594
How do you fuck up cooking a pork butt?

>>1678673
>doesn't look that bad would e-
>clamato
Nope, fuck that shit.

>>1678228
>>1678233
WHAT program is this?

>>1678228
>>1678233
nvm, found it.

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>>1679423
>Why the he put A WHOLE WHIPPED CREAM ?

>>1680129
He can't even eat a burger right

>>1678673
>lmao de gringos, they don know how to cook liek we do, holmes.

>>1679514
What the fuck is this

What the fuck even is this

Who taught this person how to cook. My parents are white and baby boomer as fuck, they're not even this bad.

What the fuck, man

This should not exist

>>1678668
If this is the culture whites apparently dont have then im glad we're missing out on it.

>>1680156
How white does the hand in that webm look to you ese? looks like he's wearing one of those jersey's the hombre's are so fond of too hmm?

>>1680130
Reminds me of the absolutely feral burgers my mum makes.

>>1680156
>>1680244
Ok, I've been wondering this for a while - where did this meme about white people not being able to cook even start? Is it from the same people who think that southern comfort food only counts as black food?

>>1680244
that's from Japan. they even eat raw chicken over there. but a lot of people really don't know how to cook and it's probably because being self-sufficient isn't as necessary a trait as it is in the west. don't know how a lack of cooking skills relates to being white and/or a baby boomer though... is it an American thing? because everywhere I know, that "social class" prepares some of the best foods. or maybe you were just unlucky, lol.

>>1677596
that's not how you... never mind...

>>1680130
This kills the hamburger

>>1680156
I do something similar.

Cream cheese.
Salsa.
Taco/Fajita seasoning.
Shreaded cheese of choice.

Wrapped up in a tortilla, chilled then chopped up and served with a toothpick. Good party food.

>>1678148
Its a living meme, he even tried to get his shitshow to TLC

>>1678221
>they challenged him to a grilling contest and he got owned (he also started crying iirc).
Got a video link?

>>1678962
Northerns are fucked up

>>1679602
It was

>>1680904
What the fuck is taco seasoning?

>>1680964
chili powder paprika cumin garlic and onion powder salt pepper

Have you never been to the store?

>>1680100
makes me think of chilaquiles

>>1680861
It's basically just racism

>>1680130
>cheese not even melted

why.png

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qLwkT1F4Lc

>>1681029
>HowToBasic

He used to be good

>>1677941
Thanks anon, but I think I'll pass

>>1678673
kekk'd mightily when he busted out the clamato

>>1680209
>it's the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was A WHOLE WHIPPED CREAM

>>1680883
It's basically a stereotype that white baby boomers have poor cooking skills.

The stereotype is that they don't season meat, or only use salt and pepper, barely. Another one is they only boil vegetables, never fry them, grill them, etc. Again, no seasoning.

Also using ketchup as a condiment in everything.

I thought it was a mostly untrue stereotype, but listening to stories from friends, that sort of thing is surprisingly common.

>>1680861
Just stereotyping, like any other meme associated with a race. It's not uncommon (at least in the Midwest) to find white people who, while not bad cooks, just make really bland food or combine the weirdest shit

>>1678242
You can crack it open with a knife,I hit it with a knife around the whole coconut until its spilt all around. Then you can just pull it apart.
Its probably not the best way but it works.

The impressive thing about Jack is how he manages to fuck up literally every single part of everything he cooks. He's never prepared a single meal correctly. I bet he could fuck up cereal and milk.

>>1678673
>>1678668
All these butthurt fags talking shit about mexican cuisine when it's obvious amerifat shit eaters the ones that are cooking.

when will this fat fuck finally die of salmonella?

>>1681274
beaner detected

>>1679050
Paco you have to go back!

>>1680156
>jack
>white

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>>1680130
>cuts burger on plate on top of cutting board
>cheese isn't melted
>tomato is thick af
>bun looks like the kind you'd buy at the dollar tree
>bison is like $10 a pound... wtf

>>1678668

>Open bag with a scissor
>been this of sophisticated

What next? Open a can with a butter knife?

Someone PLEASE make a webm out of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMjTr2vLKzY

>>1677600
Source?

>>1680861
Back in the day, slaves were given trash to eat. Thinks like pigsnouts, chicken feet, goat anus, whatever. So to compromise and force things down they slathered it up in spices or whatever they could find to make it easier.

Hundreds of years later they're still pouring tabasco on icecream and marinading chicken wings in kool-aid packets or throwing every single spice in their cabinet onto some pickled pigs feet while laughing and claiming their over-spiced garbage is superior to white "cooking" because the french and italian, for example, apparently don't exist.

>>1680109
This is the kind of stuff I made when I was at university, had no money, and was just staring at the contents of my cupboard trying to figure out something to eat.

Everything I wound up making always tasted better than you'd originally assume (such as my incredible meal of pasta + ketchup + mayonnaise), but now that I'm an adult with money I cook actual stuff, and I certainly wouldn't recommend or promote my "throw everything together and hope for the best" method of "cooking".

>>1677600
I know the name reference

>>1680122
>>1680129
>>1680156
>this is considered white in America

>>1681274
Whatever helps you sleep at night

>>1681753
Well, at least no one can accuse you of not adding enough salt.

>>1681800
Not that anon, but I actually do get butthurt about all southern cooking being appropriated as "black culture." It's like if we credited the Apollo 11 mission's success to Jeff the janitor, who kept Mission Control clean back in Houston. They can have cajun if they want,
though (even though that's mostly french rednecks, but w/e).

>>1680109
>vomit beans

Why am I laughing so hard?

>>1679514

Jeeeesus. The amount of time it took to nuke the shit back to 1975 would have been long enough to cook the fucking chicken in a pan and throw together a salad or something. Instead, we have this late-term abortion to deal with.

>>1680972
No but im mexican and we dont even use paprika nor cumin in taco meat

Tex mex food is as mexican as Donald Trump

>>1681274
Posted this between bites of your ramen dorito bowl, Pablo?

>>1682205
>4 seconds in
>cheese and cream cheese
Doesn't seem too bad lemme skip ahead
>36 seconds in
>suddenly A WHOLE WHIPPED CREAM and a fuckload of sprinkles
What the fuck happened dear lord

>>1682205
fake and gay

>>1682205
>>1682225
Right, it started out heading towards a decent dip for the first 3 them it all went wrong...

ive been on 4chan for about 8years now and i think ive never been this triggered before this fucking abomination of a thread here

>>1680861
its the only thing they feel like they can have any superiority over despite the fact that white people invented their beloved fried chicken

>>1678668
This video isn't a joke. Mexicans actually eat this shit.

>>1682266
>Thread about mexican food on the 5th
>Just street vendors like this
>One someone just straight up pours juice over some chips and throws salsa and chocolate sauce over it
>This is not an isolated incident
Well done Mexico, you've earned that fattest country award with gusto

>>1677612
>icantbelieveyouvedonethis.webm

>>1678673
>>1678668

Can anyone do me a solid and identify all the ingredients in either one of these shitbricks? Jesus fuck Mexico just.. stop.

>>1678242
just drop it on a hard cement or tiled surface outside

>>1682178
What do you use?

>>1677594
It's Jack, isn't it?

>>1678668
>>1682306

I'm not mexican but I try to do it for you

1 - some kind of instant noodles
2 - doritos of "fanciness"
3 - paprika (spice), or cayenne pepper
4 - lime juice
5 - some sort of pasta, but I'm not sure about this one
6 - grated cheese
7 - mayonnaise
8 - ketchup
9 - some kind of hot sauce or BBQ
10 - cheese sauce
11 - more lime juice
12 - soup, maybe?

Just imgine all that doritos soaked in lime juice and sauces. YUMMY!

>>1678668
This is like the kind of fine quisine you'd find in a post apocalyptic world. Save up bottle caps sucking gallons of gasoline out of abandoned gas tanks to power the local towns generator and treat your wife to a noodle and dorrito dinner with all the confectionary trimmings

>>1678673
>>1682306

Here comes my second try

1 - regular potato chips
2 - onions
3 - beans
4 - I really have no idea
5 - looks like beetroot slices or something similar
6 - plum
7 - worcester sauce?
8 - here comes the BBQ sauce again
9 - ketchup
10 - hot sauce
11 - pepper
12 - lime juice
13 - and more freakin sauce
14 - and... OMG! Is that some kind of drink? WTF!? Mehh never mind, just pour that shit on. It can't get any worse.

You're welcome!

>>1679514
facebookshit gone way too far

>>1680112
salmonella here I come

>>1680954
https://vid.me/IHoJ/crying-with-jack-on-the-west-texas-investors-clu

>>1677601
baked vomit.... yum

>>1679514
His ancestors were less microwaved than this shit, what the fuck?

>>1678221
>a whole jar of relish

>>1682205
>butter still in the package

>>1682665
>whats wrong with th-
oh

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>>1677594
>Non cooking webms

Say no more.

>>1680129
that patty is not rare, its actual raw wtf

>>1683102
I don't think it's 'raw' if you go through sun drying or dehydration.

Somehow, all of this horror makes me feel better about my own cooking skills.

>>1679981
This one fucking offends me the most. Those aren't even fucking Yorkshire Puddings.

>>1682665
What's wrong with this one?

>>1682205
That was fucking stupid.

>>1683102
You know, it's funny. I can tell who that faggot voted for just by knowing what he eats.

>>1683153
their whole thing is that cooking destroys essential nutrients in food, so drying something out is totally fine

they'll also fudge it for smoked stuff too, for similar reasons

>>1682710
clamato on a store shelf absolutely guarantees there's mexicans living nearby

>>1683252
Well it can't be Bernie because his parents didn't buy it and cook it for him
And it can't be Hillary because he's not sobbing uncontrollably.

>>1683252
Same. And he's still smarter than your dumb ass because it wasn't trump.

>>1679340
Besides the scissors on the bag, the individual placement with the tongs, KILLS me.

Just pour the motherfuckers out already!

>>1683075
you watched the whole webm, right?

POST MORE FUCKING JACK WEBMS YOU COCK SUCKERS

>>1683354
Found the wussy.

>>1682692
That's pretty fucking disgusting.

>>1679514
In japan there are apartments that doesnt have stovetops and thus people relied on using the microwave.

>>1682306
>>1682692
Mexican here, here's what I see:

1 - instant noodles
2 - doritos
3 - chilli powder
4 - lime juice
5 - corn kernels
6 - grated cheese
7 - single cream
8 - various spicy sauces
9 - nacho cheese
10 - more lime
11 - water from the corn pot

I personally think it's shit, but there are people who like that crap...

>>1677594
can someone please explain this to a non-chef pleb? what the hell is he doing...

>>1680109
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY

>>1681709
youtube needs to fucking die so all these fucking idiots stop leeching into the world.

>>1683575
There are two problems
>The "pulled Pork" is supposed to be so tender that you can pull it apart by using your hands
>He is using a stupid and unnecessary contraption that only shows how american and piece of normie-trash he is

>>1678673

Mexican here, these are the ingredients:

>Chips
>Chopped Onion
>Peanuts
>Golos (dehydatred fruit covered on chili powder, so it tastes sweet n' spicy)
>Chamoy roll-ups (Chamoy Is an apricot sweet n' spicy sauce
>Apricots in chamoy sauce
>Worcestersire sauce
>Chamoy sauce
>Hot sauce
>Chili powder
>Salt
>Lime juice
>More hot sauce
>FUCKING CLAMATO

Clamato Is a tomato juice with spices and clam broth.

Get rid of golos, chamoy , roll ups, clamato and apricot and this shit would taste good

>>1678673
>>1682306

1) Jalapeno Chips
2) cucumber
3)Japanese Peanuts
4)Tamarind Candy
5) another type of tamarind candy
6) prune with sweet sauce
7) Sweet sauce(chamoy)
8) Hot Sauce
9) Tajin (salty and spices with chile)
10) salt
11) Lemon juice
12) More hot sauce
13) Clamato

its acutally really good without the clamato.... but this shit is exaggerated

>>1682665
>>1682665
FUCK YES !!! NOW THATS A REAL CARNE ASADA TACO

>>1682665

Wow, Is this a non-mexican? He did it very good

I actually learned how to slice meat better

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>>1682780
wow, i don't even know how to feel about that

>>1680122
To be fair, Cream cheese and salsa dip is good with corn chips, but you have to fucking layer it like a normal person, not just dump a jar of shit salsa on top of a non-spread block of cheese. wtf.

>>1683575
It's raw.

>>1678668
>>1678673
>>1679514
This is what happens when you take a perfectly fine food culture and "americanize it".

>>1682205
what a waste of food

>>1678668
This is a prostitution of mexican cuisine. I refuse to believe abuelas or whatever theyre called sanction this shit.

>>1677600
>>1677601
Is this the asshole that had canning tutorials that led to botulism? And frequently undercooks meats like chicken?

>>1678242
https://youtu.be/T9bXoOa1qTg?t=2m52s

this guy uses sharp rocks

>>1682665
Why is mexican food so trash?

>oops i cooked the meat to fuck better chop it straight off the grill just to make sure all the moisture is gone
>to make up for how dry it is i'll add a shitload of sloppy condiments

The only thing worse is Tex Mex.

>>1683102
I would try this, in the same way I would have a salad with a meal. Sitting on a side plate away from my steak.

At the very least it would make sure vegans don't try to talk to me.

>>1678148
>kind of bad

>itt american cooks

lmao why is ur country so fucking bad

>>1684487
i'm lmaoing at your life, shitskin

>>1682665
>that grip on the cleaver
oh yeah

>>1682658
I'm guessing cocaine

>>1683102
This isn't rage inducing. I'm not even a vegan and it looks good.

>>1683301
>their whole thing is that cooking destroys essential nutrients in food, so drying something out is totally fine
except this isn't true at all? Even under excessive heat the only real thing that will break down even remotely are proteins not like it matters anyway because your stomach acid will do that anyway.

>>1677594
This fuck can't cook for shit

>>1684884
Ok 3 posts in and I get it now but fuck him anyway

>>1679981

Not using smoking hot drippings... heathen

>>1677594
>>1677595
>>1677596
>>1677600
>>1677601
>>1677612
As a pastafag, I can not withstand this crimes against humanity.

This man is a monster.

>>1678228
Jesus just use the meat tenderizer!

>>1678673
>>1678668
Reminder that this is literal prison food. The ingredients are shit that you could easily get in the commissary/mess hall, people make it as a "treat" for themselves.

>>1680130
what a HUGE FUCKING WASTE of bison meat.

>>1680142
Theres nothing freaky with pre-dinner mayonnaise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo9HPyu7zOo

>>1681737
>>1681759
Jacks cooking show

>>1683102
looks healyth and might even taste good
would go well with some meat though

>>1678221
It's getting more and more atrocious with any new shit he trows in

>>1684290
Go back to fagtown.

>>1682658
Nothing, we lile the taste of meat, we oy use spices for pastor meat but its only adobo (a chili paste)

Sometimes we marinate the meat but we dont put fucking paprika, that shit must be vile as fuck, just like chicano food, like the chips and noodles webms posted itt

>>1684290
>putting a whole piece of steak in a taco
>not putting salsa nor veggies in a taco
Damn Cletus, your inbred is showing uo

>>1684537
That must be an american/colombian ingredient

>>1683063

kekekekekekekekkeekekeke

>>1679981
What the fuck is that brown shit in the bottom of the tray? And even if he did use yorkshire pudding batter, those crispy discs of dog shit are not yorkshire puddings.

>>1682205
This is fucking hilarious, clearly a satire.

>>1684575
WHAY

>>1681709
>those comments

>>1681709
Hey Kay's cool, she doesn't claim to be a good cook like idiot jack. Just a pleasant lady

>>1685819
I take it she's a meme on /ck/

>>1685819
>she doesn't claim to be a good cook like idiot jack
>Kays GOOD cooking

>>1680109
What the fuck was sitting on top of the beans, and why did he flick it in his house??

>>1681709
Fuck sake, shes cooking eggs in motor oil

>>1680109
>flicks the bean

I thought Jack was a good Christian, what is he doing broadcasting this filth.

>>1680112
This short clip never does the full thing the justice it deserves.
https://youtu.be/eO6e5k6Vvnc?t=3m45s
Skip to about 3:45 if it doesn't take you there.

>>1685839
shhhhh

>>1683503
na na na mother fuker in Japan they sell shit tons of those portable burners and they all use them this is just some retard that cant cook.

>>1677596
How are you supposed to do this properly anyway?

>>1677941
watched the coleslaw bit where he boils the fucking vinegar and oil.... my god

>>1685919
you melt the fucking butter

>>1678668
>doritos with instant noodles
ENOUGH
>but it's not over yet
>she adds a fucking lime
>and some kind of """"soup""""


FUCKING HELL??????????????????????? this shit is disgusting

>>1685919

Melt the butter first

Use a bigger bowl with higher sides like you're supposed to with a mixer

Mix it roughly by hand before blitzing it with a mixer

Or just do the whole thing by hand it's not hard.

>>1683575
ITS FOOKIN RAW

>>1680100
>spray butter
Don't tell me that this is actually a thing in america

>>1685979
It's oil spray. It's pretty convenient for cooking.

>>1685987
inb4 this triggers some elitist

>>1685889
He is obviously a terrible cook but at least he has the decency to not disable rating and comments when people tell him how retarded he is.

>>1683532
>>1683649
>>1683656
Thanks for revealing the ingredients

>>1683305
kek

>>1677596
It's like he escaped from the infomercial dimension.

>>1683607
oh. OH
So he's not preparing the food. I thought that was some retarded thing to rip apart the meat before fully cooking it.
He is actually preparing it for serving.

I do not have an image for my state of mind.

>>1683607
When you get 30000 people watching a video of you fucking up cooking, then you can call Kay an idiot you faggot

>>1686085
kek

>>1677601
My mom said this looks alright

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>>1677594
>>1677594
>>1677594

>>1686647
>You eat it like you would eat Jamal's creampie in your gf's pussy

>>1682205
it's like that fucking /ck/ post about making a ramen sundae

>>1680129

Is he... Is he fucking keyed into a fake kitchen?

>>1684575

This just made me laugh.

What the actual fuck. Two doughnuts and a half a pint of ice cream?

>>1683102
>meat is murder!
>here is my special initiation meat recipe
the fucking neurosis' these people have. why not a sandwhich with normal looking vegitables? no one wants to eat that shit puck unless they pretend they are eating beef wtf

>>1677595
hahaha his face

>>1677594
>raw pork
>useless wolverine thing

>>1680109
why the god damn vinegar.

>>1686647
what is this shit they are eating??

>>1684290
you sound like you put ketchup on your streak

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>>1684290
Oh no, looks like the 711 employee is upset someone might want to eat something more complex than an over-greased gas-convinience hot dog.

>>1684527
And here we have Joe "prescription popping" Doe to take over the night shift. Hey pal, after you're done mopping the floors and restocking the malt liquor, pick up a map and realize the world has many more countries than Burger ville.

>>1684779
Ovecooking can degrade nutrients and other more sensitive molecules. Normal cooking is fine however.

>>1686743
The only neurosis I see is that of a moron who thinks food more complex than a few cut veggies is too hard and "nasty" to consume. Good thing Jesus created microwavable pizzas and spared you the horrors of actual cooking.

>>1686888
>The only neurosis I see is that of a moron who thinks food more complex than a few cut veggies is too hard and "nasty" to consume. Good thing Jesus created microwavable pizzas and spared you the horrors of actual cooking.
found the level 5 vegan. when i make food I dont have to pretend and playdo my food to imitate something else just so I can eat it. i already said a sandwhich would of been fine, calling it a "hamburger" is retarded and that shit puck looks like shit. go fuck an eggplant

>>1679514
is this howtobasic?

>>1680100
worst tortilla chips on the market..sanitas or whatever..

>>1677594
Meats, must be split on your mouth. Not on the fucking cutting board!

>>1678221
I squeeze my balls harder than he squeezed those lines

>>1682707
highly underrated post

>>1684244
>because Mexico isn't part of Central America

>>1685842
>>1685862
That was a chunk of pork.

>>1686679
So in other words, give up your shame and go in face first.

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>>1686900
>sperging out over the concept of a veggie burger

Found the level 5 autismal. You already have your canned up chickens and microwaveble pizzas. Let the complex food recipes for everyone else.

>>1683191

Over-portioned and the proportions of the toppings is all out of whack

>>1686647
I'd love to know what amount of "artists" today actually believe in the art they create as something that has inherent value, and how many of them are just seeing what they can get other people to applaud for.

Because the genesis of this could be a chef saying "I want to do something really fancy and create an entirely new and unique dining experience", or it could be someone saying "Hey Dave, I bet I can just splatter some food on a table and charge 50 times more than I would if it was just on a plate, as long as I make some marginally pretty patterns with it", and either of those seems equally likely.

>>1678668
See, I would have been happy if it was just doritos and instant. That way it just call it shit and be done. But now im triggered to all hell because its a mountain of maskers slapped on top of a molehill of shit. It was the sauces that got me... just one after the other and then another, and then just for good measure ANOTHER ONE. Im gonna go blow my brains out now.

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>>1687473
Let's just put this argument back in the box.

>>1680100
dear god... Please tell me this slop is supposed to be the bitch's home recipe for a shit casserole. It looks like mexican monday at my middle school cafeteria.

>>1680130
>bison
>burger
>same sentence
>not even a steak
>condiments on top of patty

This disgusts me on so many levels.

>>1686679
ur gay as shit nigga

>>1682665
Im having trouble liking this guy because hes heating his tortillas in a pile, but then a remembered that's how my in-laws cook for the family. So instead ill rag on the fact he didn't make his own masa, because im the kind of stubborn fuck who will try to light a swimming pool on fire.

>>1687604
Bison meat is fucking tasty, no reason it cant be made into a burger

>>1678668
I SEE MORE SAUCE THAN FOOD IN THAT CONTAINER.
10/10 IM FUCKING MAD

>>1681800
>Not adding enough salt
IF YOU CAN TASTE SALT IT'S TO FUCKING MUCH, SALT IS USED TO BRING OUT FLAVOR, NOT BE A FUCKING FLAVOR.
ONCE IT HITS THE PLATE YOU CAN ADD AS MUCH SALT AS YOU FUCKING WANT, SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.

That being said I like tasting the salt in my own food.

>>1687604
Bison burgers are great as long as they're not raw and the flavor's not covered up with garbage.

>>1683301
>Destroys essential nutrients
It removes some yeah, but makes it much more palpable for people to eat.
Example of this is carrots.
You can eat a carrot raw, get all the nutrients
You can wash a carrot in water, and lose a few. But now it's not dirty.
You can cook it, and lose a few more. But now it's not hard, and might taste better to some.
Give an take.
Or you can fucking boil it like a retard and REALLY lose a lot of nutrients.
>Boiled carrots are good for you anon
>What do you mean boiling carrots makes all the nutrients get released into the water

>>1681709

those is some big tiddies

>>1684575
Wtf, at least cut the pint you cut in half, into halves, or thirds; then this would be ok

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>>1686888
That was depressing.

>>1686888
spotted the newfag

>>1686647
>>1686679
>>1687561

Jack is cringe. Alinea isn't. The restaurant has three michelin stars for a reason.

>>1686782

Dessert

>>1688599
Overdone presentation on what looks like some fancy place is pretty cringe. It's not just that it's satire of the bourgoise in real life, but a cheap one made up byan unimaginative someone using every cliche about them hamhandedly.
Fuck off with your cosmopolitan bullshit.

>>1688293
Whered you get that webm?

>>1678228
>/out/ opens a coconut

>>1680112
>>1685889
AY NIGGA WHAT THE FUCK, COOK THAT SHIT SOME MORE

>>1680130
OH MY GOD COOK IT YOU FUCKING IDIOT

>>1686888
check out this dudes video on the proper way to eat a watermelon

>>1677595
>>1677596
>>1677600
>>1677601
>>1677612
i hate the intonation of this guy's voice. it fucking makes me rage every time. the way he goes up and then down at the end of almost every sentence. makes me want to punch his fat little face.

>>1685746
why do you have to say it's clearly satire. like in what universe is it necessary for you to say that

>>1685987
I mean it's only oil isnt it?

I've seen people rage over this but I dont see why

I've never seen oil spray on Spain so I dont know exactly what it is

>>1686647
>just put it directly onto the tablecloth senpai

>>1688066
>IF YOU CAN TASTE SALT IT'S TO FUCKING MUCH

Nobody said anything about tasting salt anon.

>>1677595
This sperg is gona cut hiss fingers off..

>>1677601
What the ungodly fuck is that supposed to be? It's just baked dairy products. I love how he makes certain to scrape in every little bit of cheese and cream, but just ignores the capsicum he misses.

>>1678242
I've opened them with the back of a decently large kitchen knife. They could have so easily just given it a few good hits with that rolling pin.

>>1678668
layer upon layer of disgusting slop, on top of cup noodless and doritos. Is this even legal?

>>1679514
>microwave chicken
my fucking sides

How do people eat the filth in this thread? I'd take cheese on toast over this shit any day.

>>1683503
Yeah... no. This is lazy kids in ANY country who don't know how to fucking cook.

I don't know how to do WebMs... I are failure.

However, you should still check out this amazing channel. I think you'll thank me... or curse me.

https://youtu.be/qAdE27t99mg

>>1690666
Even Satan is mad.

>>1690666
Take a look at all the fucking morons replying as though it isn't satire.

>>1683191
I can't believe people as stupid as you exist. Do you look at that and think "mmmm delicious slop on top of meat diced beyond recognition"?

>>1686743
What i can't stand is how none of these vegan faggots ever cook actual tasty vegan food like spiced lentil 'meat'loaf. India has mastered vegan cuisine centuries ago and western vegans are too caught up in their airs of healthy eating and meme diets to realise they're crippling themselves with malnourishment.

>>1686888
Is this really how Americans eat? This borders on insanity to me. What kind of maniac microwaves egg and bacon when you already have a pan on the heat?
How can you be satisfied with that plastic molded filth they try to pass off as cheese? no tomato sauce on a bacon egg cheese toastie is a crime against humanity.

>>1679514
What the fuck is this even meant to be?

>>1690841
to be fair, that dude is like 75 years old. that sandwich looks awful but cooking standards were massively different back in the day. my parents basically grew up eating canned spam, velveeta cheese, canned vegetables, hot dogs, and wonderbread.

also the microwave was sold as a wonder device and was considered a high tech luxury at one point. a lot of older people microwave shit that really should be cooked on a stove, just because that's what they grew up with.

>No Maries homemade Italian tomato sauce

For shame lads

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>>1690905

>>1678668
>>1678673
and people still question why we need the wall

>>1682707
i think i'll take the gasoline instead, probably would taste better.

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>>1683063
sides have ascended

>>1684244
>muh muricans eat shit food meme
>at least we (whites) know how to stop adding shit in, if anything we eat the base elements of food too much.

>>1678668
>>1678673
>>1680100
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU ADD ALL OF THAT LIQUID WHEN YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE THE CHIPS SOGGY?!?!?!?!?
FUCK ME
im upset

>>1677612
>it's just sitting there soaking in oil because he didn't even heat it ahead of time
I don't even cook much except for the most basic recipes and this is making my eyes bleed.

>>1677941
how did aunt myrna die? heart disease, diabetes, or kidney failure?

jesus christ

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HI PEEPOH AND I'M BACK COOKING AGAIN!

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>>1691312

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>>1691316

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>>1691320

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>>1691323

>>1691316
What in the world are those eggs cooking in that's turning them black?

>>1691338
probably bacon grease

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>>1691345
bacon grease does not do that what the fuck

>>1691034
jewish people should not be allowed to have kitchens

>>1691034
>scrapes the bottom of the pot

I fucking hate when people do this.

>>1691338
it looks like cooking liquid from black beans, or the liquid that came out of a can of black beans

probably tastes pretty god despite looking like a fucking medical experiment

>>1691338
Here is the full video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMjTr2vLKzY

>>1691316
>>1691320
>>1691323

Never liked meat. The way it looks, smells, feels when it's raw disgusts me to the point I don't even care how it becomes when cooked.
I don't follow vege/gan trends, and processed products don't bother me very much, but meat is just fucking gross.

>>1691320
I meant to reply this, not the egg

>>1691329
I can hear the scissor blades scraping against the inside of the pot.

>>1691316
Cooking eggs in Saudi Arabia

>>1691373
>looking like a fucking medical experiment
it's like nazi medical research on how much blood cholesterol a living mammal can sustain that involved shooting Anne Frank's family up with IVs of liquefied butter

>>1691377
wtf accent? scottish? truly atrocious cooking either way

>>1691385
Thanks for the blog, Susie.

>>1691338
>>1691373

I'm pretty sure she just never wipes out the pan. Cast iron is great for stuff like searing steaks at high heat, but doing so leaves dark/burnt residue in the pan. I think that this stuff has mixed with the fat and turned it a disgusting black colour.

>>1691433

She sounds like she's from Yorkshire.

>>1683503
This guy gets it

>>1691034
>/k/ gets butt hurt over trigger discipline.
>I fucking rage at knife handling.
For fucks sake, I hope she loses a finger cutting that onion into fucking chunks that would made someone cry when they bit in because they're so fucking large.
I fucking hate people that claim they know how to cook, but can't even be bothered to hold a fucking knife right!

>>1691329

Seriously now, is the dude legit retarded or is this some kind of horrible joke?

>>1679549
>>1679514
thats not chicken its rice

also
>raw chicken
>white
are you disabled?

>>1692769
Did you even watch the webm?
You might want to do so before going full retard.

>>1690595
It's from a documentary about North Korea, the scene is a staged scene of a typical family in North Korea

>>1680100
no, stop it lady, stop

>>1682205
my sides KEK

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>>1691034
>the oil gives it the flavor

>>1685919
Soften the butter. Mix in powders a little bit at a time.

>>1688293
>North Koreans
>having food
Good one.

>>1691055
Really? Just take a second to listen to yourself... America has no room to speak when it comes to cooking, or anything else. Pull your nose from the air and realize that just because you're white and stepped foot into a Whole Foods one day doesn't mean you're an expert at judging how food should be.

Tl;dr
Don't be a racist dick because someone called it correctly. Americanization ruins International cuisine.

>>1691034

Is... Is she cutting with a fuckin butter knife?

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>>1691034
>But it is the oil that gives it the taste.

>>1691370
but theres nothing wrong with the way she did it.

>>1686888
I fukcing love how he pauses after his adjectives, gathers his thoughts, and finishes the noun with 0 enthusiasm.

>>1686647
>he gets triggered by the fact that in a free market economy, you can charge rich people stupid amounts of money to serve them food in a gimmicky way.

>>1690666
>what is poe's law

>>1691055
>bringing "whties" into discussion for no reason
Oh look, another sheltered suburban kid who's world view is shaped by what's in the Wal-mart isle. Many Europeans, of different nations e.g. French, have perfectly decent cuisine. It is the bland, unoriginal, ready-made, lazy american that is only capable bastardizing things into garbage like this:

>>1677595
>>1677596
>>1677600
>>1677601
>>1677612


Stop bringing race into subjects that have nothing to do with it.

>>1678673
how are you even supposed to eat this?