/ck/ thread.

>>1649878
Well, can't say that this wasn't the true purpose of the thread.

>>1649875
ryabushkina??

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>>1649890
NYET ANON

PLEASE STOP

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>>1649893
That seems needlessly complicated

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>>1650014
I don't think she knows what a shot is

>>1649902
he is so nice with all the cute waitress

>>1650013
this is gross beyond anything i could have tought

>>1650030
how to make a dishe looks like a wasteland

>>1649875
>Roastie with motor disease will likely get to pass on her shitty genes because men will fuck anything with a gap between the legs

>>1649902
>dripping grease
Yeah it's a pizza you fucking faggot.

>>1650012
>>1650026
>>1650030
i get that this is supposed to be artistic and if you have the money fuck it
but what are you suppose to do with all the stuff they decorate the table with?
do you just lick it off the table or maybe drag your spoon through it?
also how are you suppose to get to the food without getting your sleeves dirty?

>>1649883

This caused some discomfort

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>>1650011
I'm an American and even I gagged. Those fries what the fuck

>>1650179
The fuck are you talking about that looks godlike.

>>1650011

This kills the man

>>1650018

This is a great movie

>>1650028
..... This guy is cool.

>>1649890
>ASS

>>1650013
saved.

>>1650011
It looked alright when he put the first part in the bread, but after that it's just too much man.

Like the serving size for that thing has to be like an inch of length

>>1650012
I don't know, when anyone gets that artsy fancy with their food, it just becomes a big turn off.

But that's probably just an issue with me as I'm sure there are tons of people who get a huge kick out of eating food like that.

>>1650011
i dont give a fuck give me that shit asap looks like heaven

>>1650165
Dunno what shit tier pizza you've been having all your life

>>1650188
word

>>1650280

Skip to 0:49 without watching the webm and try to guess what that is. Absolutely horrifying.

>>1650301

Did he just put a fetus there?

>>1650328
fucking gross

>>1650035

Even without the music, this video emits the hardest feels

>>1649888
best post

>>1650287
its fucking wonderbread

Cant sleep and now starving

>>1650128
IFA MYA GRANDMATHA HADA WHEELS SHEDBEAN A BICYCLE!?

>>1650306
is that supposed to be people parts? cause i'd eat them people parts

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>>1650406

>>1649889
Where the hell is the rest of this video?

>>1650412
Me too. Is this show food-kino + serial killer drama?

>>1650011
I would get one and feed my family for dinner. I can't see any less than 3 people practically eating this unless they're whales.

>>1650164
hey fuck you mate

>>1649897
What sick the fuck puts sugar in their spaghetti?

>>1650297
I keep wanting him to stop and he never does

What the fuck, just eat the bag of doritos

>>1650005
Maybe not fill the dough so goddamn high?

>>1650333
I did as you asked

I have no fucking idea

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>>1650409

>>1650271
No, thank-you

>>1650014
topfuckingkek

>>1650445
It is up until the first half of S3, then it goes back to being kino again after that.

>>1650290
just stop adding sauces it's not improving this shit!

>>1650295
It's like I'm in prison

>>1650166
I don't see the "art" of drawing the same pattern over and over again like a painting by numbers like children do. Presentation is part of the culinary art, but none will call the arrange of the plate/food the art "itself", this tables are just big plates with more room for aesthetics.

>>1650128
that is a big ass

>>1650586

its true tho

The only reason you wizards feel anything for her is because you think that since she's "damaged" she might give you a second glance.

>>1649902
i would have eaten a slice, i admit it

>>1650011
the porchetta, provola, and prosciutto cotto on their own would've been perfect.

>>1650614
I fucking detest this webm

>>1650014
she knew what she was doing.

>>1650166
To actually answer your question the tablecloth is actually food grade silicone, and the diner is encouraged by the server to tackle it however they feel like. You can get most of it up with a spoon or just dragging the actual dessert through the sauces.

>>1650301
i saw the hot dog chunks and noped right out.

>>1650005
oil nowhere near hot enough

>>1650287
get that cheese up ya kid

>>1650283
Are you fucking kidding me

>>1650752
nope

>>1650164
fuck you. She is a QT. And personally, PERSONALITY is a -WAY- more important thing to pass on, so you can just go fuck yourself, because noone wants you to breed, mr. sourpuss

>>1650664
Don't know about you (but I can guess), but some of us actually HAVE wifes/GF's. doesn't mean we cant appreciate a cute girl when we see one.

>>1650961
>>1650962

Retards.

>>1650328
why does this webm exist? is it some strange fetishist thing? is this porn to someone?

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>>1649878
gord bless this man.

He never fails to brighten up my day with his buffoonery

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>>1650961
>>1650962

>>1650320
This is the stuff I like. Simple and delicious. If this was any other cooking vid this would have been only the first step in creating a hotdog lasagna beef bowl cheddar dip.

>>1650165
>Spot the amerifat

>>1650591
Americans...
They put sugar in everything.

>>1650690
this lol wtf is he doing

>>1650007
>salad

>>1649888
good webm

>>1650011
fuck all the haters this looks good af

>>1650017
okay we get it you have boobs

>>1650290
this looks like something I would have eaten on a dare in 4th grade

>>1650290
ok tell me these people are poor and have nothing else to eat

>>1651071
is that alive?

>>1650267
cant watch this it will make me too hungry

>>1650014
>dook dook dook

>>1650012
>>1650166
>>1650305
its not about eating the food like this. its about making it yourself, and feel good about it that it looks amazing and tastes amazing. its like art.

>>1651084
You don't eat chips and meat if you're poor.

>>1650008
all these silent webm's before this one, lady scared the shit outta me

>>1651067
>party

>>1650568
Idk what the fuck you think you're doing... But you better fucking stop.

>>1650586
>5
>>1650961
Knight harder faggots. I'd be willing to buttfuck myself with a chainsaw if people like you were to extend the same sympathy for a male similar conditon.

>>1650128
Who is this butt goddess?

>>1650975
Yeah, to John Podesta

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>>1651206
Holly Willoughby - underwear model turned kids tv presenter turned actual tv presenter

>>1651109
I'd rather watch a howtobasic video

>>1650271
wat

>>1651219
So, noodles in flour paste? Yugh...

>>1651251
You missed an n

>>1649889
Good thing she sucks dick well.
Can't cook for shit.

>>1650412
Certainly looks like the the radius and ulna bones from someone's form arm.

Anyone watching this wouldn't say "Yeah, I'd try human flesh if it was cooked this way

This show and Dexter will be linked to birthing serial killers in 10 years from now.

>>1650297
The use of tongs gives this entire concept a thoroughly undeserved sense of decency.

>>1650328
Yummy boring bland frozen pizza

>>1651358
Based Julia

GFTO Francois

>>1651358
Apparently this was an episode where they were sponsored by some wine company, and she specifically went and got some beer to pull out for this bit.

>>1650018
>those čevapčiči
im hungry now

>>1650306
>nice, looks good
>see mads
fuck

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Don't care what people say, this looks delicious.

>>1651417
>looks delicious
why do I get the impression you'd eat dog shit on a stick, anon?

>>1651438
Promise me you won't show other people the film.

>no salt bae

You people disgust me.

>>1651417
wtf am I even looking at?

Shit like this is the reason hell exists

>>1650980

too salty

>>1651513
He's performing for rich kids in Dubai now.

>>1650673
Same, I'm not even entirely sure why. It just annoys me to see it. Same with >>1649888

>>1650164
> motor disease will likely get to pass on her shitty genes
motor disease isn't about genes retard. a very "normal" person might have shittier genes than her, she isn't a downie.

>>1650601
we have a similar expression like this: if my aunt had a beard, she would be my uncle.

>>1651085
no. It's just the nerves in the dead animal being activated by the sodium in salt, making the muscles spasm.

>>1650035
WHy exactly is this sad again?

He a pedophile or some shit?

AIDS?

Dying?

>>1650666
well..., you are a Satan, so i agree

>>1650306
I'd eat Hannibal's cooking any day of the eon.

Weeks a shit.

>>1651540
everything is about genes

>>1651071
thats a meat dragon

>>1651525
they look like they would be good with a onion and peppercorn sauce.

>>1651358
>>1651401
Two of the absolute best.

Jacques is quoted as saying that shoots that were supposed to only be 30 minutes sometimes took up to two hours because Jacques and Julia would get smashed on the wine and Julia would tell the producers to fuck off and let them cook.

Pepin's shows on public broadcasting are still some of my favorite things to watch.

>>1651401
i watched these episodes all probably 20 times when it was running on twitch

>>1650295
The thing that fucks me off the most is the use of the tongs with the nachos, like just fucking tip the bag up, it's quicker and you still spread them easily

>>1650333
>>1650598
Never heard of monkey bread?

>>1651417
as a beaner, this type of shit makes me gag, fuck all the trashy shitskins that eat these "snacks"

>>1651548
>sodium in the salt

Its reacting to the heat m8

>>1651203
Some of us do you dumb faggot.
Stop assuming people don't extend the same sympathy.
REEE I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU SO MUCH.

>>1651879
Nah the other anon's partially right. Dissolved salts can trigger the twitching of muscles in the same way motor neurons would since it's the presence of sodium ions that activate the nerve in question in either regard.

The motion of this eel's carcass is likely a combination of death throes and dissolved salts triggering muscle contraction. This eel was beheaded and skinned probably only minutes before being served to the diners.

>>1650690
lol looks like water

>>1650601
what did he mean by this?

>>1650333
just looks like monkey bread, mang.

>>1651167
>aunt

>>1650295
Its $2, why not?

>>1650034
>tfw he doesnt refrigerate his cookie dough

>>1650591
Adding sugar cuts the acid content of the sauce. Although, I'm pretty sure you're only really supposed to add a tablespoon or so...

>>1651546
except when you say anything, in english, about a woman being a bike, you're calling her a slut. that is why they're hiding their laughter

>>1651525
this guy understands.
i remeber back when i was living in my village in eastern europe, when you kill an animal, you eat it whole, nothing goes to waste.
they must taste amazing.

>>1651252
>So, noodles in flour paste? Yugh...

Anon.. noodles are a flour paste, in Japan, in USA, in Italy, anywhere around the world.

>>1650293
...Is he making a ceaser?

>>1651130
t. never met a poor person

>>1651986
>adding sugar at all

>>1651540
Pretty sure people fuck people with EDS all the time because they find contortionists hot or something. Even when they know it's genetic.

>>1651870
das rite

>>1650313
How are you actually supposed to open a coconut? If cartoons are any indication, they don't open until you drop them from space, and then they have another shell inside the first.

>>1652153
I always drilled a hole in them, then split it with a very sharp knife.

>>1650267
where is this place?

>>1650297
tbf, Walking Tacos are a pretty popular carnival food now

>>1649889
Oh, I know this video. She cooks with some dude and the whole thing is in french.

>>1651549
He WAS a sex offender.

Now he is dead:
https://billiongraves.com/grave/Steven-Eugene-Reed/6467116#/

>>1650994
Cheese meat bread.
Simple. Effective. Most people like it.

Not fucking jello powder mixed with green onions cheddar cheese and cool whip.

>>1651525
That's just haggis balls, fuck off

>>1651826
No, no I have not

>>1651997
Try taking a bite of spaghettis and a mouthful of flour+water. Tell me you like them both.
His noodles look fine, but he dusts it with so much flour it's still sticking to it when he takes it out of the pan.

>>1652162
wtf?

I didnt know how to open one, quick google showed people doing the same bullshit you're suggesting. I just took the back of a heavy knife and cracked open the coconut, worked perfectly fine.

>>1650297
How are you even meant to eat it? Like how the fuck do you get through the Trump Wall of toppings and fillings and actually get to the doritos?

>>1651085
>>1651548
Saw a video on youtube about how to kill and prepare snakes in the wild.
Guy said they would twitch and spasm up to 8 hours after he cut the head off,
Which is why he stressed it was so important to decapitate them, since they out of nowhere would spasm, and you could snag yourself on a fang

>>1650666
>>1650165
>>1649902
https://youtu.be/gt8LflOyyhs

why would you post it without audio

>>1651826
>>1651928

Actually I've never seen one, not a thing in my country. Might be that's why it looked weird to me

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This should be fine, right?

>>1650980
that was a great couple of weeks. so many crying libsluts needing a good dicking

>>1651401
>>1651358
>she's dead
>he's about to be

Anybody got that Chinese chef movie intro one?

>>1651415
>nice, looks good
>see mads
>nice, looks good

>>1650283
How revolting.

>>1650290
What fucking terrifies me is that he puts everything on so enthusiastically as if he knows what he's doing. Almost like he's done this on many occasions.

>>1651986
fuck, if you MUST add something to cut the acidity add a bit of shredded carrot

wtf adding sugar, that's not a fucking cake

>>1650008
>Dull as fuck knife
>Dead, soulless face

I was really expecting this to turn into a creepypasta where she chops her hands into paste, but doesn't notice.

>>1650017
hohjohohoh

didn't see that coming at all

>>1651300
tibia and fibula

>>1650320
Throw some seasoning on the top, maybe a garlic butter glaze, and that could be fantastic.

>>1652725
Nvm. I found it.
https://youtu.be/zs5WiddD7i0

>>1650030
I somehow doubt they get a lot of repeat customers, once you've done a gimmick like this once you wouldn't really need to do it again.

>>1649888
makes me wish I was a cook

>>1650017
What the fuck

Is this froma porn or something?

>>1649890

>expand_dong.webm

>>1650028
he is a dirty mudslime roach but nonetheless a cool dude

>>1650980
>in a cooking thread
>tryes to push his /pol/ propaganda shit

>>1650306
are they implying that white wine is flammable, or just skipped the liquor part?

>>1652870
that's Ava Dalush, so yes, it's a porno

>>1650165
You know, it's not really supposed to be dripping shit at all.

>>1650164

>Butthurt toastier roastie pissed off that a nice girl with a motor disease has a better chance at passing on her genes with a man who'll actually stick around because while men may fuck anything with a gap between the legs, they'll only stick around if whatever surrounds that gap isn't a huge cunt.

>>1649883
don't see the problem here. grab a piece of toast and dig in.

>>1649888
mother fucker

>>1653763
>imaniceguy the post

>>1652678
lazy /fit/ cooking. no surprise there.

>>1650128
white hair must be gay

>>1650266
keep going you slut

>>1652153
she could've just gave it a good whack with the rolling pin and it would've opened.

>>1650333
monkey bread, dawg. shits good

>>1649883
?
What's wrong here?
That the handler is a little clumsy?
It's a soft-boiled egg. I prefer mine medium, but runny yolk is toast's best friend.

>>1653810
Then cheddar, maybe a little gruyere, and but it on macaroni noodles.

>>1650375
Damn straight it is. Only the cheapest, whitest bread for a grilled cheese.

>>1652631
You're supposed to kinda crush the doritos and eat it with a spoon.

>>1650012

I don't mind the art effect. But it is overkill with how much they charge for it. This was one of the first episodes of Chefs Table on Netflix I believe.

I would love to go to this restaurant, but I couldn't justify 3-500$ a person for a food art mess ony table. I'd rather get a blooming onion at fucking Outback and spend 400 bucks on a painting that I could look at for years.

this spastic sure has a set on her huh

>>1649888
wait what the fuck

>>1649889
what is she doing

>>1649890
wait ive seen an infomercial for these thats a fucking egg

>>1649893
there is no love in this pizza

>>1649902
i don't get why people bring him into their restaurants and then get mad when he tells them what they are doing wrong

>>1650022
i don't think you should put anything that moves like that into your body

>>1651769

that reminds me of an irish cooking show where the married couple would start bickering and it would cut to 5 minutes later and they won't even look at each other.

>>1651984
>he bakes the dough
>ruining it instead of just eating it cold

>>1649902
I'd eat the shit our of that pizza

>>1650568
what kills me is the skill with which this inane thing is done. as if this person took the time to be good at THIS of all things. which also means many such monstrosities have existed

>>1654056
And it looks like shit.

>>1650164
palsy aint genetic nigger

>>1649883
only problem here is he doesn't have an egg cup. like some sort of peasant

>>1649878
can this dumb nigger do anything right? holy shit. are his viewers watching him ironically?

>>1651109
>what rich people tell themselves to fill the dead hole inside

>>1651990
did the italian guy know this?

>>1652153
cleaver, mallet.

>>1652153
she could have just held the handle and hit the back of the knife

>>1654165
I have a question for you: Do you think this guy constantly fails at what he's doing, and then uploads the videos of his failure on accident?

>>1650283
I'd eat this, I don't give a fuck

>>1650568
fucking based lmao, I'd try that garbage

>>1650601
this one kills me everytime

>>1650011
Would be good if they just stopped before the bacon.

>>1654064
Cooking is something I'm pretty well adept at, and anyone in my family will attest to this fact. I do, however, realize that I could never do it as a job, simply because of the fact that it is relaxing to create something delicious for my family to enjoy, and that is something I take pride in. The first time anyone EVER sent back a steak with a note of "it's not rare enough, do it over", I would go absolutely ballistic, and this is why I will never work in a kitchen.

The people on Kitchen nightmares are professional chefs in the sense that this is their profession. Something they do for money. I've seen two seasons and the big common point is that the vast majority of these people never went to a school for this. They are not prepared for the demands of a michelin five-star or whatever the fuck Ramsey is. Most of them either inherited a kitchen from dad, or went in on it with friends on a whim, because someone told them they could cook. They don't see it as a problem with them, they see it as a problem with their image. Granted, a LOT of shit goes wrong with these places, the food is probably not the worst thing about them, but if they receive an improvement in their menus, I'm glad for it.

>>1650017
is this race mixing.

>>1654081
I'd eat the shit out of that waitress
(the young one)

>>1649890
combine egg nog and yule log to make egg log a convenient 2 in 1 christmas delight

>>1650035
How does cheese sause in a jar like that taste like. Is it good?

>>1650008
>Homemade Italian Sauce
>First, we start with the canned Italian Sauce

>>1650283
Fucking texas, i swear.

>>1650012
>Jesus Christ, Favreau, it's just a grilled cheese

>>1650614
No idea why, but I love this webm. It's not particularly satisfying or cool, but it just makes me happy.

>>1652638
still dunno if I'm being duped, but that's really weird. I thought it was still alive in some way

>>1653808
His wife's ugly as sin but he's been caught with hookers and taking cocaine in the past

>>1654099
The icebream with fruit mashed in it and scraped into rolls is common street food

The Big Mac is just the logical conclusion

>>1654537
lovely

great contribution anon

>>1650687
IMO it's the point where food becomes more art than it should be, it's like creating best looking gun, but not adding ammo cartridge for artistic purpose.

>>1651525

I love this dudes YT channel. Proper good if you're into butchery and actual british food.

>>1650030
I think it'd be worth the money just to watch these idiots clean up that mess.

>>1650035
My God, that looks focking delicious
I wish live in America and eat that stuff

>>1650277
Why the fuck make a perfect ball if you're going to melt it anyways
wtf

>>1651990
Oh...

>>1652678
>brotein shaker just casually in frame

do you think he lifts? im not sure if he lifts

>>1651358
Blown the fuck out

>>1649875
>can't tell if disabled or just typical woman.

>>1650013
I've seen a fat girl do this

>>1652929
Heat up the wine, and it gives off a vapor rich in alcohol.
As you probably know, alcohol is flammable.

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>>1650277

>>1654631
I'd make more webms from it but it's difficult to edit some of the videos down to be brief enough.

>>1650028
>hahaha every time you think im giving you the ice cream, I take it away! Isn't this hilarious?

Would anyone pay money for this experience instead of any other ice cream place where you pay and they give you the fucking ice cream? That country needs to be nuked.

>>1650011
fat fuck grub

>>1655403
enjoy your food poisoning

>>1650295
>when you get out but your stomach is still in lock-up

>>1655404
I like the file name

>>1654739
that'll be 300 dollars please

>>1654056
A powerful statement.

>>1655425
cmon dude loosen up

>>1655408
It really doesn't taste good

>>1650012
Bro, you're making a mess

>>1655489
shut it queer

>>1655614
what is it

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>>1652153
The way coconuts work is that they grow on a tree with an outer shell, the husk, which is usually really fibrous and tightly woven, and the actual 'coconut' with the three eyes you probably think of, inside of it. You can chop the husk away with something, tear it off, anything like that.

The inner part of the coconut, you can trace the eyes to the uppermost part of the coconut opposite the eyes, and give it a solid whack with any ol' solid object, and it'll split pretty much perfectly, right down the middle. Next time you go to a grocery store, pick one up, if you look closely you can see what look like seams. Hit on those lines and you'll break along them, they're the weakest part of the structure. Be careful though cause you'll obviously not want to spill all the water.

>>1653808
Still touched more ass than you'll ever do in your life :^)

>>1650290
how do you even eat this?

>>1650320
gonna do that for my next party

>>1649875
MILKY
O
M
M
Y

>>1655403
>>1655489
>mfw I'm a barbarian who would want it way redder than this

>>1650035
Anybody got sauce of the music?

>>1651525
looks delicious

>>1655425
>humoring tourists
>country specific
whew lad

>>1652587
Soba is made from buckwheat flour which has a much lower gluten content than bleached flour made from wheat. Also, soba noodles are served cold and are washed after they're boiled, that part was cut out of video.

>>1650316
Holy shit

>>1654222
I think he think's he's not a failure and sees nothing wrong with what he's doing. I feel like he legitimately thinks he's a good cook. He doesn't look like he's trolling when he does this shit.

>>1649897
When did DSP get a cooking show

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>>1657225

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>>1657236

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>>1657245

>>1655489
Nice b8

>>1655397
beautiful.

>>1655403
Disgusting.

Meat is still RAW

>>1652678
>pronouncing fillet with a T

>>1650013
she succ that butter

>>1649875
you'll never have a gf that tries this hard

>>1657264
>>1657245
>>1657236
10/10

>>1657863

enjoy your shoe leather

>>1650012
>>1650026
>>1650030
So this is what they are making rich people waste money on these days.

>>1651085
Yes. Clearly the muscles still had the chemical energy to move despite the state the body is in.

>>1650034
>not baking your cookies medium rare

>>1650302
Would love to get the sauce on this video please

>>1654558
its head has been removed. its an eel, and those movements are basically the only movements the muscles can make, so when salt/heat is added moments after the head was removed and the muscles spasm they do the "move forward" motion