Living wallpapers

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Had started college in an unexpectedly loud area and needed to calm my mind with the imagery of soundless, vast underwater worlds.

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Had failed a swimming test during my candidacy application screening process - felt too stressed and nervous to breathe properly in deep, slow inhales. I had forgotten how other candidates were no different than I from this appropriate perspective.

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Had grown up in a car, going to and from my mother's work, being dropped of at daycare only to be picked up for a long commute back home. The most comfortable,loving memories were alongside streetlights on rainy highways. Felt nostalgic and wanted to briefly remember the illusion of such safe, warm love.

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Had just quit smoking (my pack a week marlboros weren't helping my run times, and was headed to a pack every two days). I needed to see the distortion of my reality with smoking's creeping death. The sinking into furniture pictured here perfectly illustrated my fears in slowly falling to my deathbed.

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Have always been a strong fan of cynicism, Alt-right humor and pseudo-pessimistic realism. The self-harming comedy of filthy frank and his overplayed characters all stem from his ever-present self-defeating/hateful introspection. I once empathized completely. The break of character and honest facial expressions illustrate these points very well.

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My father had recently lost his job and my older brother had failed his 3rd attempt at suicide. My little sister had refused therapy and was beginning to hate herself too. i resonated with superman's unbiased love for those weaker than himself and his savior complex in doing whatever those is need required of him.

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Have always found complete peace of mind at my computer desk. A world of free flowing thoughts and emotional transparency at my finger tips. the very warm tonal quality of this imagery gave me almost complete tranquility during flu season - one where my mind was uncontrollably pained.

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>>6919153
Not sure if I'm doing this 100% right but here we go. This pic reminds me of my senior year in high school. That year was so incredibly chill, got to experience a ton of new things. I'll probably always remember that year for being so incredibly happy, easy and chill. Every time I was on the PC this wallpaper always brought me comfort, it gives off chill vibes, at least to me.

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>>6919153
I have recurring dreams about houses. Most times they're dilapidated and crumbling around me, but one time I got a clear picture of what is literally my dream house and it looks exactly like this. It's been my wallpaper for 6 months now.

>>6919182
that's pretty fucking cool (I get a slightly creepy feeling from it, which always gets me going)

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My first experience with what I thought was drowning, the confusion of where the ceiling of water started and ended, imbibing water like a fish craves air.

I was being held down by an older cousin, i found no pleasure in drowning.

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>>6919182
that's nice, but maybe a little too brown to have as my wallpaper, but your writing and the pic reminded me of The Fall of the House of Usher, give it a read if you haven't

I had this picture for a while over the winter, I'd moved into my new rented place for 2nd year uni. I always get a little anxious when moving house since I lost my parents when I was young and my first experience of moving house was out of pure necessity, not luxury. But, all being said, I cope with moving well now.

Plus I tend to like wallpapers that suit seasons cause UK weather is so shit lol.

>>6919359
>
My condolences anon. I wish you the best, stay strong, you're stronger than you think. Live your life fully and make your mother proud.
Stay strong.

>>6919359
Beautiful

>>6919385
Thank you, I will because my mother and my brother are the only people that keep my life together giving me strenght in times i realy need it
>>6919386
Thank you...

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This wallpaper means more than a lot to me.
I took an overdose trying to kill myself a while back, approaching the anniversary actually. I set it as my wallpaper because I liked the look and vibe of it, city papes and melancholy papes I adore so i loved it. Anyways I got put in a mental hospital for a long while, I got out before christmas. I`d never lived away from my family before and it was well over a few months before I got to see my room again. Going back to the place I`d tried to end my own life. I was hesistant at first but I booted up my PC eventually. It was my entire life before the OD. It was like walking into a scene of a crime. I saw the pape and felt so overwhelmed by feels. I`d spent months away from home and made the best friends of my life, each from a different walk or life and journey unlike my own. They check up on you in hospital, this was my first time being actually alone for months. I hadnt stopped since then, I comprehended what had happened and everything really. The pape reflected my emotion so well. The dust has settled down now but this wallpaper is a perfect window into a little peice of my life back then. My amazing friends? some got better, others got worse, some killed themselves and the rest I dont know. But I never saw any of them again. And I miss each of them more and more with each passing day. And it makes me realise, after all this time, I still dont know where I am.

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I despise real people and everything that reminds me of them but I still want a gf, so I look at anime wallpapers and imagine going out on dates with the girls in them.

Then I cry.

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>>6919425
sympathize, can't empathize. I love the idea of people, but am too drained when talking to them. catch 22 baby

>>6919359
I'm so sorry about your father anon. Youre making me tear up lol. Hang in there man.

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>>6919359
Hey my father died of cancer and alcoholism when I was sixteen. I'm a bit older now but I just want to tell you your outlook is wonderful and I really wish I had that when I was your age, If you want we can turn this into a feels thread.

Fishkeeping was a hobby he passed down to me. I can't maintain a tank right now but it's a wonderful thing to get lost in, and helps a lot with anger or stress.

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I just found this today but it's me right now, behind the camera.
There's this girl right now, but there's always a girl. Different name and face sure, but it's always the same. She's just... right there... in front of me and I'm thinking "how could God just drop this beautiful girl right in front of me?" I want to talk to her, get to know her, just be with her. Not even really sexually just be there, with her, in a moment. She's always just right there, and I'm over here. Maybe I'm in a restaurant or on a bus or whatever and all I need to do is reach out, say something, do anything, but for some reason it's the hardest thing in the world for me. And I do nothing and just like that, she's gone forever.
I've had a few girlfriends, but they were all girls I knew before and they were nice, but the girls I happen to notice across a crowded room or on a park bench have this allure to them that I can't describe. I wish I was the kind of guy to just walk up to a pretty girl and strike up a conversation, and maybe some day I will be but for now I'm stuck just looking at them, just like I'm looking at this.
Peace and love anons, we're all just people in the end right?

Bump, this is pretty interesting

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Been dealing with depression for awhile, and something about this Pape is just calming to me. It's kinda how I want to see myself in the coming future, so it gives me hope when I see it

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I like this one because it reminds me that if Hannibal could cross the Alps with elephants, I can deal with whatever bullshit comes my way.

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This is my current background, which I desperately need to find someone to redo/recreate for 1080.

I write letters, in particular love letters. I recently became single; I no longer have someone to write love letters to. I often look back thinking, maybe I never wrote enough, or too much...maybe I never said the perfect words to her. I can't write for her eyes anymore, and that fills me with regret, did I ever write anything that'll touch her heart once more like she did mine?

>>6919359
mods

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I like science. I really do. I think science is great.
Chemistry is one of many branches in science. I like chemistry. I really do.
All things are composed of the elements that humans have discovered, elements which are recorded on this chart. Isn't that neat? However, there are still some elements that need to be discovered, and named. Isn't that neat?

Do you like science? And if so, do you like chemistry?

>>6919698
Thank you anon. It's good to hear these things from people that don't know you. I don't know why, but it just does.

>>6919710
I would realy like to hear how your life went the past years and how your feeling about what you experienced changed... Because the feeling that you can't do anything to change what happened or to talk to him just once is killing me...

>>6920032
I don't understand. Please explain.

>>6919406
doesn't really matter where you are my man, as long as you're going forward, even if it's with babysteps

>>6920032
fuck off neckbeard nigger

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This photo is over a decade old, I took it from the back of my ex's car one night. It was the summer right after graduation, my family literally moved across the country and left me alone with $3000. I had no direction in life and was terrified. It was a very surreal summer though, living rent free with friends, late night drives to nowhere, no worries about money. When I look back on it feels like the plot of some shitty coming of age indie movie, just missing the pixie dream girl to fill me with hope.

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There isn't a particular timeframe I associate with mine, but it's been my wallpaper for several years now actually. I refuse to change it in fact due to what it is.

It's a kind of reminder that no matter how bad things are right now, they could always be worse.

What better to use for that notion than a screenshot of a glitch in a death screen from a notoriously unforgiving game at the hardest difficulty setting and with no saves? That's what this is from. With my own text laid under the usual death screen text.

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I've been trying to "grow up" by getting a house with my gf, got a new puppy, new big boy job, and bought a new truck. I felt like I was doing the right things, being a good person, but my opportunities were passing me by. I wanted to dump her, move out, sell my car, move states away, and go back to school. I wanted an escape to live a different life. As if I was being an inauthentic version of myself.

Then I just realized that all is as the Force wills it, so I changed my pape and leaned to appreciate what I have.

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I'm unnable to see myself into the future. This more than often makes me struggle with my folks and teachers that worry about what I'm going to do with my life. I surely would like to give them some kind of tranquility but I'm as lost as I can be. At least for the time beeing I'm feeling a bit better with my decisions but I still can't guarantee myself a good future. So I'll just keep going I guess.

>>6919782
You can do it anon. Don't even think about doing it don't even prepare yourself to get up or say the first word, just let your body go and let your words speak. Once you get past the initial conversation you'll find that it's much easier after that and times after.

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I change my wallpaper whenever my mood or emotions change so things are constantly moving. I had this one up for the longest. It reminds me of how insignificant we can be looking at the stars and realising that everything is much bigger in the universe than just you. Then you realise that you're actually no different than the universe that surrounds you. Inside of you is another universe, you share the same shades as the spaces between the stars. Your eyes, heart, and soul are the dusts gravitating towards a force unknown. It made me humble myself. I'm not the greatest thing in this universe but that doesn't mean I'm worthless. We are all worth something together.

>>6919153
excellent thread, thank you OP

>>6919182
really nice, looks like something that would fit perfectly in dark souls

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Exellent thread op, really.

This isn't my current wall, but its one of my favorites. It reminds me of the days I spent in New York. It would rain and get all sticky and humid. That feeling in particular is one that I have remembered the most. Nostalgia boyz

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This is from a game called "Bastion", could somehow identify with the kid. Especially his expression in this picture somehow resonates with me

>>6921999
Nice trips, what did you think of neuromancer?

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At the risk of sounding like an edgy teenager, this wallpaper I still use as I indulge in reading the classics as a way of coping with what looks increasingly like a hopeless case for Western Civ and at the same time as something to inspire to push me to better myself everyday.

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I can't remember the last time i didn't feel stressed by work or something else. Always driven bij expectation, striving and trying to fit into the world while still being proud of myself is making me tired. I really wish i could find some kind of proper ''inner balance'' someday. This pape is very calming in my opinion.
Sorry if my english is shitty btw.

>>6919782
I feel you anon.

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It's like looking in a mirror. Seeing this always makes me think of who I am right now and who I am going to be. Sometimes it's hopeful and sometimes it's hopeless, but I don't lie to myself when I think about it all. But then sometimes I just see a fly man looking at me lmao.

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This is my current wallpaper. I was in math class fall semester at university and we had to group up to work on an assignment. Being the autist I am, I never liked doing group work. I was more of a lone wolf. But this really pretty girl that sat behind me asked me if I wanted to be her partner. It got to me. No girl ever was nice to me. I thought it was a dream. We worked together and I was very nervous but she was patient with me and kind. After class we exchanged phone numbers and we were partners the rest of the semester. I tried to make a move but she was seeing her ex-boyfriend again. Also the autism was seeping out of me. I couldn't help myself. She was an amazing artist though. We talked about art for a bit and as a person who has very little artistic skills and knowledge I started researching some artwork. I remembered learning about Monet in 7th grade art class and I came across this painting "Fisherman's Cottage on the Cliffs at Varengeville". This painting really spoke to me because it will forever remind me of the girl in my math class and it also reminded me of a harsh truth. That someday it will be just me sitting in my cottage by the sea. Alone.

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>>6922094
I don't know, I would have to check it out.
Is it good?
And why do you ask? I wanna know if is something related to the wallpaper 'cos I really like it

>>6923104
The quote in your pape is the opening line from Neuromancer by William Gibson. The book is super influential and is seen as the book that founded cyberpunk. If you like the dreary atmosphere in that pape, you'd likely enjoy the dreary future worldbuilding of the book.

>>6919406
sorry didnt quite understand, did you make your friends in mental hospital?

>>6920177
Love both. Constantly blown away by even the most basic of concepts and waste countless hours loking into things that are totally forgotten in a few days time.

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I used to have this as my phone wallpaper, either yotsuba's half or keanu's side depending on how I felt. A couple years ago I was really depressed and had no close friends to talk to about it. Then I discovered 4chan, specifically /b/ (before it became just another shitty porn board), there I spent hours every day and could talk to people in similar situations as mine and help each other cope with it.

When I was out or away from my computer this wallpaper always reminded me that /b/ would be there when I got back home.

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No genuine idea.

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I had a ceiling window like this one in my old house, before I moved to the west, where I've since resided in cramped and impersonal apartments. I miss my old house. I miss its tall ceiling, its windowsills, the island table in the center of my kitchen that I used to sit on. I miss the power going out during thunderstorms and listening to the sound of the rain against the tiled roof. I miss the cool basement and the chipped patio deck. I miss its broken window, broken blinds, broken bannister, and even the weeds in the backyard garden.

When I look at this wallpaper, I remember the quiet, solitary moments I had in my old house. Memories both happy and painful come back to me, and I look ahead and hope to have a house like it again.

Fuck, this thread is therapy. Better start charging per hour, OP.

>>6922313
Not necessarily true, anon. I am also that kind of autist. I found my true love. We will be together always. I have faith you will, too. :)

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Had this pape when I started college.

I felt a really big disconnect suddenly from the world around me and whatever front I was putting on, meeting all these new people and trying to find out where I fit in the world. I kinda returned into myself for a while as a coping mechanism.

I was doin fine, thanks.

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I've had gender dysphoria for a long time - for as long as I can remember - with it increasing in intensity these past few years. The feeling is ever present but I have never had the courage to act on it, attempt to supress it, do anything about it, or even tell anyone about it. I haven't cut my hair for the past year and it's a sort of experiment associated with that I guess - me searching for the identity that always has and always will allude me.

Theres a weird, complicated series of emotions I get from this stupid little weeb wallpaper. The androgynous clothing, long hair, blatant feminine color that bleeds from it to the background creating a dreamlike feeling of an altered reality, her about to cut her hair, etc. When I'm feeling particularly melodramatic I get the sense that the character is a reflection of me from a different life, one where I was born as the opposite gender, still dealing with the same issues - the scissors ready to slightly alter my appearence in hopes of finding some sort of happiness and escape from my current life and situation. Obviously I fantasize about having been born the opposite gender a lot and in a weird way that I can't understand it gives me peace seeing this image and trying to imagine for a second that even if I had been born the opposite gender, maybe things wouldn't really be that much better in my life or maybe I would have other problems.

Like I said before, thats when I feel like overanalyzing a dumb anime pic. 90% of the time I take the slightly less analytical, but equally as dumb, route and it reminds me that eventually I'll have to make an ultimatum - i'll have to cut my hair, maybe get /fit/, and do everything I can to forget about these things and be the gender I am now, outwardly living a normal life while inwardly feeling completely wrong, or put down the scissors and fall completely into this feeling I've felt my entire life, outwardly sabotaging myself for maybe just a fraction of inner peace.

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>>6919782
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So just take the fucking shot. Even if you feel like you're going to fuck it up. It's ALWAYS worth trying.

Pic related it's my hometown where I spent a lot of time growing up. Brings back memories

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>>6927179
I feel you, I think.

I've always liked pink and cute 'girly' stuff.

I've always thought it would be cool if I could turn into a girl whenever I thought.

Is that gender dysphoria?

I don't want to have a surgery but I'm sure that's because I can't face my family about something like that.

I wish I was born a girl but it doesn't affect my day to day life.

I think.

It may be what is causing my depression.

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>>6919153
Drugs and alcohol alter the way I view the world.

I cannot go day to day without some kind of substance going through my veins.

It staves off my boredom and depression, if just for a little.

I've bounced back and forth between alcohol and weed, and it affects my way of life.

I'm addicted to both, but I must depend on them.

I don't know how the world looks without being under the influence of something.

I don't want to know.

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>>6927214
I'm not sure tbqh. I feel like it can be difficulty to pin down or come to terms with for some people. Maybe the main thing really is how it effects your day to day life. Is it just a passing "damn if I could choose I'd pick the other sex"? Or a constant feeling of disconnect and unease from who you are, what your body looks like and how you are perceived by others to the point of wanting to an hero because of it? I know I'm definitely much closer to the latter than the former but maybe the "gender dysphoria" term is in a spectrum?

Im not an expert at all or anything, ive hardly even researched much about it other than getting diagnosed with it. I haven't even ever talked to or known anyone part of the trans community or anything honestly i guess its just something ive always kept inside

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>>6927217
Yeah I'm suffering from several depression, and it could be caused by dysphoria.

Its a plausible theory, I don't know myself the cause for my depression.

Do I want to kill myself? No, but I do wish I was never born.

Or have been born a girl, I wish I could wear pretty dresses and have long hair and jewelry, get my nails done, wear heels.

But I would never cross dress either, who knows what's wrong with me.

>>6927221
Severe, not several. Typos.

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>>6927221
I feel that. I don't have any desire to cross dress, wear makeup, or anything like that. Not while I'm the person I am now. It'd just make me feel like even more of a disconnect from who i wish i was or something. I wish i could do all of those things in the "right" body.

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I keep my background cycling through my backgrounds folder one per minute.
This is one of my favourites though. I've always felt at peace going for walks at night in local parks. Helps me clear my head of the stress of college and living so far away from home.
>>6919782
Hang in there bud. I feel you. Having recently become single after 6 years, I definitely feel you. It's terrifying just to reach out. Especially in a new, much bigger city.

>>6921903
sounds nice

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>>6927226
i do the same, parks at night are great. Photoshopped that picture a bit, hope you don't mind.

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I like being alone but I also hate it. I can think about stuff, read, listen to music, I can't have fun though. I like the isolation in this pic but his glum, bored expression gets a little too real sometimes ;_; I miss my friends

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My ex used this as her background when we were in college. The last time I felt truly happy and comfortable was when we were undergraduates and we'd spend all our free time listening to music and enjoying each other's bodies.

Despite being massively depressed due to schoolwork (we went to a prestigious university) I was happier than I am now. Now, I feel old, worn, and burnt-out on life. I'm living away from all of my old friends and I have no energy or desire to do any of the things that used to make me happy. My ex left me a few months into our engagement, and whenever I see this wallpaper, it reminds me both of how happy I used to be, how each relationship steals a part of us, and lastly how it doesn't really matter and I'm just a whiny brat for thinking anything does.

classy thread op, i dig it

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i first saw this pic maybe 10 years ago and it really stuck with me for some reason i couldnt understand. i was in a really bad place back then and time passed and things got better i've realized that this pic represent a desperate need to be someone and to belong somewhere. i'd give up my life just to feel a sense of doing something that would give the slightest aid to a group i belong with.

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>>6919153
had this one during a period of great stress at work and college, while recovering from an OD
It simply felt related to what I was feeling.

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Some might say this wallpaper is some sort of cliche' ,but to me it will probably forever be one of my favorites. Most people think life is trying to be happy,but not me. Life to most people is to take,to win,to achieve, but to me life is simply a reality to be experienced, as a famous philosopher once said. This pape means to me that no matter how many times I fall,get insulted or betrayed,no matter how alone I may feel - I will be able to keep my dignity until I die - uncorrupted by greed,envy,lust... I will always have myself.
Anons,do we value our lives so much that we protect them so, and do we think so little of them that we do not use them?

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>>6927398
visit your fucking old friends idiot, 15 years ago friendship ment something, atleast my experience

wp i had when i myself worked away from senpai and friends, helped me through the week
(mountain at home btw)

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I don't really have a desktop to myself but I flipped this image 90 degrees to be my lock screen. Was during a time when I had lost my core friends and my relationship felt so shitty and selfharming. I was still trying to graduate at the very least and felt so done and tired with people all the time. I very nearly gave up, but always stared at this wallpaper when I was walking to classes. It felt like cold sheets, but everything was so soft. I just wanted to rest and feel warmth. Helped me pull through jusy enough to quit my relationship and start trying to healthily move on. Gonna graduate in two weeks.

>>6919164
;__; beautiful

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Romanticism/orientalism paintings have become incredibly impact-full on my life in the last year.

I had a particularly intense LSD trip with a friend while we watched the Magical Egypt documentary series. The mysticism, symbolism and other ideas resonated with us both quite heavily.

I had always been into ancient Egypt as a kid, but that passion dulled with age. The trip combined with the close to eight hours of information presented in the series re-ignited my passion for the subject, particularly the visual aesthetic and mystery.

Their concepts of life and death, reality and consciousness, all very interesting things to think about. And their creations look tight af.

>>6927198
what's the name of this town? i'm moving to Northville/novi area soon and it looks similar

>>6927215
are you happy?

>>6920177
chemist reporting in from the ACA. Love me some science! so much that well it doesnt matter. enjoy the table and the journey that is the world around you. its why its there.

>>6922093
rawr

>>6926368
/b/ is still /b/, always was, always will be. You just noticed the porn more as time went on for whatever reason but its pretty much always same volume...

Your home is always there and new bros all the time, never forget your home, it why its always there waiting....

>>6927179
sounds like a typical personality disorder where your just not happy with who you are. some people spend their lives with that bringing them down since there aint no cure. Nothing will change its feeling, gotta be happy or accept who you are, if you cant then little hope friend. you can do it though, rest of us do.

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>>6927179
I can really relate to how you feel anon, before i transitioned lot of pictures and media gave me this indescribable mix of guilt and happiness that I could never understand.

I'm no sure if you have gender dysphoria, if you can you should really talk about it to a therapist or a doctor if you can.

This was the wallpaper i had on my phone around the time where my feelings of dysphoria became too great, I stopped going to uni and eventually attempted suicide in the bathroom of the shared house i was staying in, the phone screen was the first thing i saw when i woke up. I ended up making a doctor's appointment soon after where I came out.

>>6928894
Im planning on going back to a therapist for it again soon. I've gone for a period of time two separate times enough to just talk with them a little about it. It always comes to the point where they talk about how i potentially have gender dysphoria and tell me about options where i just feel really ashamed or something and stop showing up to sessions. Im really going to try to stick with it for longer next time.

That sounds tough, i'm sorry you had to go through that. Its great that you ended up getting help though. If i may ask though how have you been feeling since the transition?

>>6928998
Things are a lot better then they were, I still have progress to make but I've never regretted my decision (only regretting not making it sooner). I still have quite bad anxiety and paranoia which has hindered my progress a bit but that's all on the negative side of things.

Positively it feels like I'm alive for the first time, I've actually been able to meet people and be myself for the first time, a lot of health problems I've had have gotten better and I actually believe I have some sort of future for the first time. I have been relatively lucky, my parents accepted me after a few months and while my body is far from the average girls it could be a lot worse, especially starting at 20 like I did. I should also probably mention I'm a lot more emotional in general, probably partly as a result of hormone treatment but I don't see that as a bad thing, it feels nice being much more in touch with my emotions.

I've struggled with therapists too (I only started seeing them after coming out) but more because of anxiety rather then shame, it helps a bit to remember that they are being paid to listen.

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>>6929070
Thats really great, im happy that youve made a turn around. Its important to have a support system for things like that so thats good you were able to confide in people close to you. Good luck in the future. I've sort of been in a rut of thinking things will never get better for me and just getting these things off of my chest (for almost the first time tbqh) in this thread has helped a little bit i guess, thanks anon. And thanks for the pape too

>>6928214
This is the gayest thread I've ever seen in over 10 years of posting here and you are the gayest poster in that thread.

Well done

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This is the pape I've had for a while now. For some reason I really identify with the man in this picture. Often times over the years I've tried finding ways to escape everything for a bit to clear my head and just isolate myself. I've been an introvert my whole life and the thought of being able to just fly away and lament on another planet just seems so satisfying. No matter what point I reach in my life, I always feel like this guy in the pape eventually and that's okay.

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Everyday I sit in my little corner in my little room, and spend hours on the internet. Wasting time, letting the hours and minutes slip bye me. With each passing second I feel myself slipping away, idly hoping in some corner of my mind for a comfier life. Someplace where I don't have to worry, I don't have to be anxious, I don't have to be afraid. This wallpaper represents this corner.

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>>6920177
Aspring chemist here entering my 3rd year at UIUC.

Ever since I started uni, I realized how much I wanted to be successful and not mediocre at my studies despite being so apathetic in high school. I know I have to keep at it, but it is so disappointing not being where you want to be.

Pic is sorta related. I have been going through vicious cycles of ecstasy and depression ever since my grandmother died, there has been a void that never seemed to heal. The anniversary is in June and even after 2 years, I cannot even think about her or her death without tearing up. At least she got to see me in my graduation cap and gown before she died. Going away to uni was a very cool experience and I was excited, but my grandmother's death made me more reserved and introverted, much different than my extroverted high school self. I began missing high school, my friends back home, my exgf, my grandmother. I would only feel happy when I was with my friends back home,but never in my own house - the place has too many memories of her. Studying kept me distracted, but not seeing my grades where I wanted them was discouraging. Not happy at uni, not happy at home. It very much feels like this sadness is infinite

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>>6928575
Sorry I'm late in replying.

But no, I don't believe I am.

Am I sad? Unhappy? Not those either.

I'm just numb, I don't think about how I feel. I don't think, period.

I just exist.

I don't feel, I smile to those I have to, go through the paces of being a person and communicating.

But u don't have real feelings, I can't remember the last time I felt happy or excited.

I just feel slight somethings, dying embers of what used to be emotion.

It sounds hippy dippy but it's as though I can almost feel that emotion but it's not fully there.

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>>6927217
I Guess I never answered your question now that I've reead through the thread again.

I'm >>6927214 and >>6927221

I'm not sure myself, really.

I don't think about how I feel, I just try to get through the day to where I can browse 4chan at 3am like I am now.

I do know the feeling of wanting to be a woman has grown slightly stronger through the years but not unbearably so.

Like I said it might be the cause of my depression but I just don't know.

I do know I really like the clothes women get to wear, the heels they dress up their feet in.

I also like the idea of nail polish and cute hair cuts. Dresses and jewelry. Bathing suits and cute shoes. I want that.

I want to feel pretty.

>>6929142
I second that notion lol

>>6929563
Go back to /b/ where the trash belongs

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i wanted to go to fucking wizard school

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A home that looks content but isolated, I've had this for 3+ years. I think that I appreciate it because it feels down to earth, the sky's are mostly clear and beautiful, and the home is well built and secluded but not ridiculously located. I think in a way it represents my ideal living and how I think of being in my mind alone but there's happiness and room for others maybe.

>>6919425
>I despise real people and everything that reminds me of them
Edgy

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>>6919896
I've also dealt with on and off depression for a few years. Mostly related to my lonliness and the feeling that I was overwhelmed with the world. Pic sums it all up perfectly

>>6921903
Theres something about this photo I really like.

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There is something nostalgic about the cities, even though Im from the suburbs. Maybe its because I would go with my parents on the long weekends to chicago, and we would come back at night, me playing pokemon or just watching the hard sheen of the street lights disappear into their recesses. I really feel happy looking at this simple image.

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great thread.
guess i'll add my own.

i've always loved japan's aesthetic. i suppose it's a form of escapism for me, being depressed and on antidepressants, wanting to go somewhere new and adventure away from my current life and my problems that keep haunting me

i really, really want to move to japan or study there sometime in my life. it's one of the few goals i have

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Not much to elaborate on, is there? I'm a chronic fuckup due almost exclusively to my habit towards procrastination, which I never bothered to properly address. I was content to scrape by in primary school because of my smarts, and when it came time for college, the need to intelligently budget my time and rely on myself to actually get shit done sunk me like the Titanic.

The notion of this message coming from the kind of person who would spraypaint it on a wall, who saw that as their only creative outlet is really sobering. As much as I've fucked up so far, I'm still pretty young, so I feel far from hopeless. It also helps that I have a pretty upbeat demeanor most of the time as well, but even still, the notion that this stupid fucking habit stemming from how the pleasure center in my brain misfires might fuck up my chance at a life I could be proud of enrages and depresses me.

I want to be better; I want to make people proud and genuinely make their lives better for my inclusion, and I've always been motivated best by examples of what not to do.

great thread, by the way

>>6930327
You're my clone man.
Trying to get some anti-depressants, ADHD medicine, get my FAFSA and get back on track.

26 bro. Never too late. Godspeed.

>>6930342
>>6930327
Just posting to say you're not alone, doing the exact same shit right now. My ADHD has fucked me over so many times and it's never been treated, but now that I'm actually doing more research on it and trying more and more treatments I just feel so much better and more motivated then ever to do something with my life.

Thanks, Wellbutrin. I thought the anxiety caused by it was it not working, but now I know it was the solution. Now I'm actually worrying about shit I need to worry about. Now I feel like I have control over my actions. I would have never had that if I just didn't give medication a chance.

I'll probably end up on amphetamines too, for the extra boost in energy, but extremely sparingly if so. It can backfire. Don't give up guys, sorry I don't have a wallpaper to contribute, I'm actually using this >>6929201
and have been for a while.

I go to college, finally, in August.

I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm determined, and I'm scared.

And that's okay. It's how it should be.

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This is one of my all time favorite wallpapers
First because of the colors and the graphic, but also because it talks to a very serious and painful part of my life and what I am
I've tried to stop caring about a lot of things because I've been hurt and I shield myself behind nonsensical humor, drugs and questionable behaviour
But I still care, oh so much, about everyone and everything
Sometimes it brings me joy and good feels, but I still wish I didn't
That's why I anaesthetize my mind with meaningless bullshit and drug abuse
I think I'll keep telling myself I don't care until it's true or until I die, and honestly I don't know what would be best
I wish I could be that spaceman riding his green shark into nothing, because making sense seems to only hurt

>>6929142
LMAO I admit that now that I read it its really cringy,but 10 years of surfing 4chan is no less gay desu.

Well done,retard

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>>6929560
You sound like you want something no one has. It's almost as if you've put emotions on a pedastal and disregard anything not living to your ideal as some sort of imposter.

Perhaps try to enjoy what you can and nod off what you don't. No one can rally ask more of you beyond yourself. Good luck anon

My lock screen. Just felt I could relate.

>>6930416
Those feels tho..

>>6927536
If you didn't know, this statue depicts Lucifers fall from heaven and was inspired by the poem "Paradise Lost", also fun fact: It stands exactly 666 meters above sea level

>>6929142
>10 years of surfing 4chan
>hasn't seen a feels thread

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>>6930508
I'm glad there are others that understand but also kind of sad that others have to deal with this

>>6919153
What statue is this?

>>6921903
>cry_of_fear.png

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Ausfag here.
Never seen snow in-person, never really had the money to travel. Started volunteering as a firefighter a years ago, decided I would get some experience or die trying.
Been four years now, life is dull outside forest fires, car crashes and massive blazes. I' deeply concerned about the amount of satisfaction I feel when fighting a huge burn.

More recently been drinking more, I go home alone every night after I finish my shitty warehouse job and keep my fingers crossed that I get called out to another incident.

no one to love besides other brigade members.
I just want to see snow before I die.

>>6919164
Same with me. My parents were divorced and their custody agreement said I was to switch houses every day. So I was in a car twice or more a day for about 6 or 7 years straight. Once my mom moved out of the area of my school bus, she would make me get up at 5 in the morning, make me and her breakfast, and drive over to my schools bus stop. So after a while I got to appreciate car trips because I've spent thousands of hours of my life in cars. I completely understand that feeling anon of being comforted by parents with the darkness all around except for those beautiful yellow streetlights and the moon. Truly good times brother, truly good times.

My mom also tried to take me away from my dad when they were going through the divorce and I never really saw him much as a younger kid, so when I would drive with my dad, we'd talk about all the crazy shit that was happening from day to day and he'd reach over into the backseat and hold my hand when I cried. My mom never gave me affection and my dad knew that, so my dads almost always been the one to be super kind to me. Even now that I've moved out he's still so important to me. When he dies I die, period.

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I refuse to let this thread go. Reading all the people on here has inspired me and I have a story I can add myself...

I'm intelligent, successful, and always full of life in person... but i've always been lost... and angry... this year I decided to not half ass anything and take every opportunity I could get my hands on.

I took this photo this last Spring Break on a Science Field Study course to the Channel Islands. It was on this trip, at this moment that I found what I wanted to do with my life. Something I could get behind. Being on an island with these ecologists, oceanographers, geologists, and biologists that knew so much more than me opened up my world... I've never had a direction in my life and been working myself to exhaustion getting into the best programs...

The relief I felt on these islands, surrounded by strangers, lost in a world of information i cared about... it changed my worldview. I hated college and studying... but found myself taking more than the max units at colleges and taking more on top of that outside the standard education system because i just wanted to know more, explore my craft, and continue carving the path ahead of me.

This photo brings me back to that place, but it also is representative of the path have carved and yet to alter and change with my journey... and i welcome it... for once.

Dont give up, you can and will make your life the way you desire. You have it in you. You'll make it out feeling alive.

>>6930093
sounds, like you're a huge pussy.

>>6921999
is there a version of this without the words?

>>6930416
ugliest wallpaper

>>6929560
so you're like Dexter?

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>>6930327
Procrastination is a bitch. Especially when others you love around you call you out on it. Just gotta keep trucking and hope it'll sort itself one way or another as most things do. I'm gonna steal your wallpaper and trade you mine. It was a nice reminder after having an exceptionally turmoil filled month with no real end in sight, but it always works itself it out or at least someone that isn't me helps get it back on the right track. Stay optimistic.

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anorexia is a cunt

>>6919425
Why do you hate human interaction? Is it because you are hopelessly autistic and blame your problems on others, or is it genuinely a problem with how they act?

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I'm terrified of seemingly nothing almost all the time while I'm awake. Like something is off and there is blackness always pushing close to me

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I love sci-fi stuff. I dream about exploring other planets while I listen to ambient music. I left the city where I grew up and this quote always comes back to my mind whenever I think about it.

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>>6927179
Honestly, I try as hard as I can not to give a shit about gender and its controversy. I always thought it was the most trivial thing to be concerned about, ever since I was young and kids did the whole "Boys are icky, girls are icky" crap. The thing is, though, I've started to see its controversy come up left and right, and it just got caught up in my head. I try to convince myself that it doesn't matter, but the way that everybody seems to say otherwise reminds me of how feminine I am, despite being male, and that I feel as if I'm expected to make some sort of big deal over it. I haven't cut my hair for a long-ass time, and I often make very feminine gestures whenever I speak. On top of that, I have a feminine physique, but still suppress my thoughts about it and try not to notice it.

I might get into being a trap just as a kink, though.

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I wish I was immortal, I wish I could live forever.

I want to see our planet and life on it evolve.

I want to see what humans will look like in 200,000 years.

I wish I could travel through space at close to light speeds.

Id love to live to see the day we make contacts with aliens, start colonizing mars, sending the first astronaut crew into deep space, all the amazing inventions and ideas to come.

I won't get to see any of it and that depresses me.

When I look at the end of my time I know it will have been too short.

Every year goes by faster than the last and my years swiftly acknowledge me.

I know I'll have regrets, I know I'll not have enjoyed life as much as I could have.

That's because I don't see a point, why work when it's all for nothing?

What's the point in paying my taxes, I'll be dead soon anyway.

I don't see a point in trying.

Yes of course every single human being has thought the same thing.

But for me it completely saps my motivation to accomplish anything and is the cause of my depression.

I don't think I'll ever be free from it, I think I'll keep spiraling out of control slowly until I die at 43 from a heart attack because I can't change my way or thinking.

I wish id never been born.

>>6919175
That's rough man, hope someone is there for you.

>>6921967
Kek'd

>>6920177
>missing Nh, Mc, Ts and Og
.. how can you live?

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Sometimes I feel like Rick. It's easier to put of a facade of absolutely not giving a shit about anything when you actually care too much.

>>6919782
Love the pape, and love what you said. I don't usually post, but that really hit home

>>6919997
I'm gonna do you a solid, anon. Be back in about 20.

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>>6919997
>>6935405
Switched up the font a bit, but I think it turned out alright

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>>6933119
For you

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>>6935426
Shadow looked a bit rough to me

>>6935547
It was now that I look at it, thanks for fixing it

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>>6935405
>>6935426
>>6935547
>>6936109
I'm the letter writer. Thank you so much for this! Seriously, I'm so profoundly happy with this, thank you so much. It looks great. Someone else had made a version very similar (posted) to what you made, I think I might like yours better. Geez, thank you!

I'm still recovering from a lot of things, and seeing this happen out of nowhere really just hit me so hard, wish I could pay it back to y'all somehow.

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My life is going great right now.
My relationship is doing good.
I'm feeling better.
I'm out of this hole.
I have a problem.
How do you tell someone you care about them?
How do you keep someone in your life?
If you feel a connection with someone should you leave and be with them?
Why does it have to hurt your current partner?
I've been spending so many nights.
Listening to sad songs.
Watching sad movies.
Reading stories of people.
I stop myself.
I think about life.
Why do we grow feelings for someone?
Why do we fall into this?
Why do we put ourselves through difficult times.
I probably shouldn't talk to her anymore.
It's so hard.
When you can see a future.
When you can smile again.
When you can feel.
Does the cycle repeat?
If I leave to be with her.
Will I fall again?
For another person?
Maybe I don't deserve to feel.
Maybe I never deserved to love.
I've only caused problems.
Hurt those around me.
I thank you guys.
I can talk to you guys.
We can joke.
We can laugh.
We can share beautiful images.
That sometimes remind us.
Sometimes hurt us.
I wish the best for all of you.

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Recently i've decided that after highschool i'll join the Marines, I have no specific reason for it and I don't have a death wish but it seems like the only thing I can do, at the same time I feel like I won't meet my goal and i'll end up with some life I won't like.

>>6936268
Anon -

I'm 38, with a shit job, twice divorced, 2 kids i life I mostly regret. I wished I joined the Marines when I graduated almost every day.

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After all this time , Im all alone another time ; the pinkness of my mind doesnt disappear

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This painting, named sacred love and profane love, makes me feel the feels of having vaginismus (ie: vagina is too contracted to have pleasurable sex) in a society where intimacy of feelings come after intimacy of flesh. How am i supposed to relax when i should have sex with someone i can't trust (yet)?
So i feel like both forms of love are being denied to me. At least my feels make me find even more connection to that masterpiece.

>>6936192
capricorn spotted

>>6936863
I'm actually a Pisces.

could you give an explanation that actually makes sense?

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>>6919153
I grew up not far from this beach and would cycle there every other weekend. Just to buy a drink from the tiny consession stand near by and sit with my legs dangling off the edge of the cliff. I moved out of Wales a few years ago but I really want to go back someday, such a beautiful place

>>6930494
may i have the original please sir?

please let this thread keep going

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>>6935001
Like you said, others, including myself, have thought the same thing.
If you were immortal would you talk to anyone or just watch? If anyone else wants to answer this question, I'm always curious about people's answers.

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I graduated high school a couple years ago.

Moved into an okay apartment with my gf, got a good job, and that was that. I kept in touch with my parents - they lived 10 minutes away - and hung out with my friends on the weekends.

They're all college kids who have fulfilling times and promising futures. Meanwhile most of my time was working on my critically failing YouTube channel and downloading vaporwave. I ate microwaved meals or fast food. I did laundry once every couple weeks.

I built up closer friendships, but otherwise was completely stagnant. My less-wholesome friends would constantly joke about me being a depressed loser who peaked in high school but it eventually started feeling true. I was stagnant, I wasn't going anywhere. I was constantly neurotic and emotional. I just didn't know where I was going and it hurt. For a whole year.

Eventually something clicked. With emotional support from my mom, I I broke up with my gf - relationship was only encouraging stagnation - moved into a new place with help from my parents, and calmed down.

Then my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. That was about 9-10 months ago. And my dad, and my aunt, and my best friend would constantly visit her, care for her, make sure she was comfortable and feeling okay. Things were somber.

Last month, she passed away. She was more than a mom, she was kind of a guardian angel. But it's because of her, and her guidance, that I'm okay right now. I know that, no matter what, things are going to work themselves out. I'm in no hurry to get to where I'm going, because I know that I'll get there when I get there. I miss her like hell, all the time, but she's in a better place, and I'm carrying her legacy forward with me.

I have nothing but hope for the future. I strive to do good in everything, for her. Life is truly precious. Have a good night, guys.

(pic is there because it's a sunrise, and there will always be a sunrise worth sticking around for. it's so calming and reassuring)

I find this picture just really... nice, calming almost.

I found it when I was killing time on Wikipedia. It's called "Jacob wrestles with the Angel", a depiction of a story from the Torah/Old Testament about when a mysterious being (either an angel or God) came and tried to beat the fuck out of Jacob, who was just minding his own business. They wrestle for a day, neither prevailing or gaining ground.

That is, until the stranger uses spooky supernatural powers to gain the upper hand. They talk, and the being tries to leave, but Jacob demands to be blessed. The angel/God asks Jacob's name. He then renames Jacob to Israel, "He who struggles with God". Jacob asks the being's name, to which it asks him why he asked, and blesses him.

For me, this story is beautiful, as is the art. The implications of the story, that a mere human was able to stand against God, a being who naturally stands above all, is enchanting to me. I love an underdog story, which this exemplifies to the highest point. It inspires me, makes me dream of the future of mankind, what each person is capable of.

This sort of thing about will power and potential just touches me on a personal level, dunno why. When that's combined with overcoming our limits to the logical conclusion (God), it's something else for me.

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>>6939245
Well, that picture didn't go up. Will try again.

>>6922313
Man, I used to be that kind of autist. I fought that autism and won. I pushed myself hard to interact socially, at first just to practice, but later I started to enjoy it.

It's perfectly normal to be scared of doing something you're really bad at. Social interaction is probably one of the hardest things we do, as humans. I promise you though, there is a crest on that hill, and the downhill part is very pleasant. glhf anon

>>6931468
anon, this gave me the feels. I hope you'll get to see snow. I hope you can save enough money to go north.

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>>6936741
good job,

>>6939247
>And the angel of the Lord spake and said unto him, "stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself". But lo, he could not, for the angel was hitting him with his own hands

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This quote helped me get through some heavy times. So i figured I'd turn it into a wallpaper and share.

>>6919896
>tfw i have the exact same room configuration

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>>6939225
I don't know.

I think at first I would keep to myself and not do anything differently until I figured out the parameters to my immortality.

I'm very shy and reclusive so I'm sure for a couple decades or centuries I would quietly watch everyone live their lives.

Eventually I think I'd branch out and be more adventurous, hanging our with people going on crazy trips allover the planet talking to influential minds and absorbing whatever knowledge they could bestow upon me.

If only.

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The wallpaper is shit I'll give you that, but it means a lot to me as it symbolizes the day I finally ceased to wait for my life to just ... happen.

I was pretty depressed back then, but still young and not helpless, and one of my best friends started to text me about how we have all the potential to become filthy rich and successful.

He got me very interested in the idea of becoming a huge shark, and that's when I started working my ass off. The following year I got transfered to one of the best college in my country, and sustained hard work has surprisingly enhanced my everyday luck. Today I'm closer than ever to success and big money, I'm in my element when talking to girls and making friends, very confident, etc ...

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There's a girl I met a while back. From day 1 we both knew we had feelings for each other, but circumstances are so shit for us. I'm so determined to make it work, though. I've never met anyone like her.

We both work together, and met working side by side during Christmas production. Different stations separarted by a little microwave stand in the warehouse. Some days I'd help her, some days she'd help me. We were the only two people working on our side of the warehouse, so naturally we started talking. Sat in silence for 3 days before either of us said a word.

We don't normally work in the same area, but we needed the hands bad for Xmas. She's a florist, so she came to help make decorations and shit. Similar skills. She has a boyfriend of a year that she lives with, but tells me she's trying to figure out an exit strategy and that she loves me.

On the left, the covered eyes in a mirror image. It represents to me the woman I love but cannot look at at work, for fear of people finding out. We'd both get grilled pretty hard and chances are one of us would lose our jobs. Against company policy and all that bullshit.

On the right is the woman I get to see once a week, free and open to be herself with me.

And I all either of us have asked the other is to WAIT FOR ME.

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>>6940055
Not like anyone cares but I'm gonna vent some more I don't really have anyone to talk to about this shit.

Dude's psychologically and emotionally abusive. We didn't discuss the possibility of us until a month or so ago. Before that we were just work friends, smoked weed a few times after work and would get lunch once a week or whatever. Dude knew this and picked me out as a threat. Went through her phone, blocked all avenues of contact with me without her knowing. Found out one day because the work phones were down and I was trying to call her phone to get an address for a delivery.

Dudes cheated on her in the past too, which makes me think he still does if he goes through her phone and doesn't trust her to not be cheating w/ coworkers. I still don't consider it cheating, what we do. We've cuddled once, and she felt so bad about it she left. Otherwise we just hang out. Get lunch, smoke, go for hikes, go to museums, just sit and talk. We do all the shit with each other that 99% of the world, or maybe just people here, find lame. Sometimes I wonder if she's just using me to fill an emotional void in her heart that her boyfriend doesn't touch anymore, but whatever. I have to at least try, to say I tried, to know the truth, to know if I really have found someone unlike any girl I've ever met.

And I understand if I have a girl who cares about me she'll do this shit with me even if she doesn't like it, but the fact that this girl and I share so much in common is amazing to me. I've never had that in my life and I just wanna hold onto it so bad. Fuck this gay earth.

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>>6940060
Like I guess I'd be a little salty about the cuddling but the fact that she can't have male friends is fucking retarded. You autistic weebs can say what you want, but there are plenty of women in this world that I don't want anything but friendship with. Maybe I'm the exception, who fucking knows. Whatever, I'm just rambling to myself here anyway.

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So I've posted in this thread before but here I am again to.. vent, I suppose. It seemed like a good place as any to get this stuff off my chest.

Growing up, I just lived with my mom and brother, I knew I had two other half brothers and a father and there was a divorce that I was too young to recall. I never knew much of it, or even thought much of it when I was young, I just had a dad and two brothers I never really knew, and anytime I would do something bad or get angry I would get the "you get that from your father" so I learned at a young age he must have been a bad guy. About 5 years ago, when I was 13, my half brothers got in touch with my brother and I and we met up and just talked for hours and ate pizza and talked about everything.

A few more years passed, we stayed in touch but only so much due to distance and the family separation. At this point, they also got in touch with a long lost sister that none of us knew about, she's the oldest of us and I still haven't had the opportunity to meet her but would like to soon. I've seen my half brothers a couple times since and we just talked about everything from hobbies to philosophy, and they told me a little bit more about my dad but only so much. All they told me was he made some mistakes he regrets.They tried to tell us that he'd love to meet us some day but the whole thing just made us kind of uncomfortable.

After my brother graduated, our dad messaged him a long paragraph saying how he'd like to meet us but we never responded. Many times it would just seem like we were too young or that we were betraying our mom. I tried snooping through old photo albums earlier this year to get more information and only found old photos with his face cut out. After a lot of eavesdropping I eventually learned that he hurt my mom back when they were together, which makes me really hate him. It only adds to my hatred of people who hurt the ones they love and reminds me to be everything that he wasn't.

>>6940109
Anyways, to continue, I always assumed I would meet him one day when I was older. When we were just two fully grown adults. I thought the man deserved to meet his own son, and me to meet my own dad. There was always this little fear that one day it would be too late. And last night was too late. Because he died.

The man made a lot of mistakes, and so have I but not nearly to the same degree as his, so I thought I could fix my mistakes. I stayed up last night trying to make things better between an ex and I, I just wanted to be friends with her again. It didn't work, at all. If anything I only made things worse. And now I know a bit more how my dad must have felt. It's some real cosmic irony. I hate feeling this way. Nobody expects me to feel anything because I never knew the man. I'm not sure how I feel, this is just a completely different form of sadness that I've ever really known.

And last night, I opened my laptop and saw this wallpaper and just had a rush of emotions hit me. Life is dumb, man.

>>6940109
>>6940113
Your mother is a horrible human being.

>>6928375
i like your story, thanks

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Been using this as my phone lock screen for several months. It's more or less how I feel dealing with gender dysphoria and anxiety.

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>>6919153
I'm using the MBDTF wallpaper because my time right now reminds me alot of what I'm going through now. I kind of holed myself away while applying to medical school so I could work away from the distractions of social media and haters or seeing other peoples' highlight reels. When Kanye made MBDTF, it was alot after the Taylor Swift incident at the MTV awards and it really helped him when he holed away in Hawaii because it helped him find out who his real friends were as well as publish not just a classic rap album, but an opus magnum musical master piece. That's the sort of production I'm trying to generate and in all honesty deleting social media helped me figure out who's willing to reach out to me. I've got like four super close friends and they're all really supportive of what I do in life and believe in me and helped me get over my ex girlfriend and also helped me get over myself.

>>6936866
thats such a capricorn thing to say

>>6933255
It is

>>6922250
2edgy4me

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Forgive the length. I don’t really talk at length about how proud I am of how far I’ve come in such a short time.

I turned 26 this year, and I’m starting to get my shit together after a lifetime of barely making it. I dated my high school boyfriend for years after we graduated, failed out of college, and worked a couple hellish retail jobs while suffering from crippling depression that almost drove me to kill myself. Me and the ex were on and off for sevenish years, dating a couple other shittier people for a bit and got back together when he needed serious surgery. He ended up moving away for a year because his controlling parents offered to pay for school and fly him out to see me every month. (They lied.) We broke up after he moved back and couldn’t get his ass into a job for shit. The compulsive, translucent lying didn’t help. Nor did the constant fear of me cheating on him, even though I was the single most faithful girl he’d ever dated. He didn’t need a girlfriend. He needed a second mother, and I wasn’t going to be her. (I also don’t want kids. Definitely not one my age.)

Fast forward to now. I’m still single, and I like it that way for now, but I’m slowly starting to think about dating again. Might be a 6 or 7 at best, but I think I’m pretty damn interesting once you start talking to me. I like adventure games, history, fashion, all-fucking-kinds of music, and watching my hero Anthony Bourdain eat, drink, smoke, and sass his way around the world. When I’m not at the office, I write, I make art, eat amazing food, learn how to do my makeup better, and slowly get my 18-year-old figure back. I’m not too bad off, but there’s always room to improve.

>>6944681

I still love my job; I’ve gotten three raises within two years of working at the same place. I work my ass off, but they make it evident that it doesn’t go unnoticed. I’m still living with my parents, so I’ve got a decent sum saved up, and I’m about to buy the car. I’ve started replacing all of my shit with nicer, better things, and throw out all the crap I’ve been holding onto for years. Now I’m looking at moving out on my own, and that seemed impossible three years ago.

All my life, I’ve wanted to see the world, and I just realized that I actually could now. I made a list of all the places I want to go--Spain, Malta, Egypt, Turkey, Morocco, Cambodia, China, India, Japan, Indonesia, Qatar, the UAE, Fiji, Australia, New Zealand, among others--and I almost cried when I realized I could really do this. This shot of Myanmar reminds me that there’s a vast, beautiful world that I’ve finally got the keys to.

I thought my life was over. It’s just getting started.

ah ah ah ah stayiin alive stayin alive

How many times has that been used to bump a thread before?

>>6940062
someone hears you

>>6919997
>>6935405
>>6935426
What do you think this is, >>>/wg/imt ?

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Guys, i just wanna say that I read every single post in this thread and i'm glad i got to hear all of your stories, you people i'll probably never know. This is what 4chan is for. It's for people being goofy and assholes but sometimes just being achingly honest with total strangers, just because we can be. I think that's pretty beautiful.

This pape is one i like to think about whenever I feel like i'm losing perspective on the important stuff, like when i've got an assignment due or exams, which i'm in the middle of right now. My mates sometimes say that thinking about death just stresses them out more, and some people in this thread say that this just drains them of all motivaton to do anything, but for me it's soothing. It reminds me that when you feel like there's something weighing on you, when the pressure won't let up and you feel like you've fucked everything up, life goes on. Compared to the ultimate reality of death, what's a little stress now and then? Life will go on, and I can too.

Hope this logic helps others the way it helps me sometimes.

love you guys

>>6939232
stay strong anon

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Saw this wallpaper once and it made me feel nice. Also, I think its pretty fitting to see a badly drawn, low-res dude in bed on something as old as my ipod.

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>>6919166
>>6919166
Training for SOF?

I aim to earn my spot in a SOF. I understand the competition is tough, but I want to be tougher. I go to class in the morning, lift in the afternoon, and then trail run. It feels like this blind passion that I'm feeding, and every step I take gets me closer to that goal. I live far more comfortably than most people, so I have no excuse to not be the best.

>>6919159
>>6945693
Meant to also reply to this post.

>>6922250
Love it.

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My current wallpaper. I just graduated school with a degree in electrical engineering and im moving to texas to start a new life soon with a new job. I'm feeling very anxious and nervous because I question how prepared I am for this change. I have some serious self confidence issues so I always feel pressure to have to prove myself. I'm hoping to be able to 'live life to the fullest in my 20s' but honestly I don't even really know what that means yet. I love the desolate imagery here and the colors. The art style also reminds me of the game Borderlands I use to play on console when I was in highschool.

>>6945868
OK.

>>6924761
I made a lot whilst I was there, but I immiedatly drifted away from them all. So I`m not sure I would class them as friends anymore.

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Really great thread, I have enjoyed reading some of the stories. Did not expect a thread like this here and I normally don't participate in stuff like this (on 4chan, at least), but here we go.

So I just did a little basic editing to this picture black and white and spice up the contrast.

When I look at this car I think about a great machine that may have sat in disrepair for years until it was brought back to life. It is clawing its way back into existence in a world that it does not feel quiet at home in, but it is doing the only thing it knows how to do, and that it forge forward at full speed.

I feel a similar way, I guess. I am freshly 29 and just broke up with my fiance of 5 years and I am now going back to school after working in a career I hated while spending most of my 20's in poorly managed depression. Although I don't really see anything for my future and I don't know where I am going personally, I am working my butt off in school and going back into healthcare. The only thing that ever made sense to me was caring for others, so I am forging ahead to do that at a time where I feel like no other parts of my life make any sense and they haven't for a long time.

Can't let the darkness win.

Btw, I hope everyone here that feels stuck starts to take small and slightly uncomfortable steps to make your life better for you. The small things add up.

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>>6927536
never seen this before, this is great. I made a pastel version for the a e s t h e t i c s

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I've always been a lonely person. Even when surrounded by loved ones it just feels like there is this disconnect. I find the sunny days of spring, summer and fall oppressing. They just exacerbate the negative aspects of the loneliness. Seeing kids play, people fall in love and not feeling able to participate. It's only on the cool, rainy days that I feel okay with my solitude. This particular picture I rocked for a while after a strong crush told me she only saw me as a friend. Rain drops just make me feel okay with the solitude. I only really feel good on cool rainy days. We started to grow closer due to the emotions surrounding Christmas holiday and actually ended up hooking up shortly after Valentines day. We had an intense, but short-lived thing that ended with me absolutely broken-hearted and she moved on fast. I guess she needed some warmth for the worst part of the winter, and I'm alone again. I adore her but we'll never be together. Alone again..

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>>6927221
For everyone who thinks like this...
Have you ever thought that maybe the reason you would had prefer being a girl over a boy is so you could let emotions run wild? I'm sure you have times were you get lost in a song because it makes you feel free, but once is over you go back to the "No right to cry" phase. I mean, there was a time when I felt like this, the difference is that there is a point you'll realize that there good reasons to cry instead of always being crying, that you want to protect instead of being protected, and times where you want to stand out from everyone else, even if you are a girl. The thing is that this world only moves one way and we have to adapt to it. It also helps to think that life only last between 70 to 80 (depending on where are you from) years.

>>6928574
Marquette MI. My hometown. Beautiful place.

>>6939343
Can anyone give me some meaning on this?

>>6944684
Very motivating Anon, thanks for your post

>>6945642
love you too anon. good insight, I always think of that when I start stressing or worrying. Nothing matters because I'm going to die one day.

>>6919698
>you're making me tear up
>laugh out loud

>>6936310
maybe if you did you would have died or gotten your legs blown off.

the grass is always greener on the other side anon. instead of reveling in what could have been, make the most of what you have.

>>6920269
Underage.

>>6919175
Wow anon, I used to resonate with that as well. Still do to an extent.

>Sexually abused by grandfather and father
>Dad always drinking, emotionally/physically abusive
>Smartest kid at school, so bullied a lot

My Mom always looked like such a victim, just trying to do her best in a marriage that she entered out of necessity. Felt the desire to save her.

Was a total beta white knight for a while because of this lol, got over it though. Now I run a company teaching guys game.

>>6943148
I hope you're well.

>>6920177
I love chemistry but chemistry doesn't love me

>>6929506
God that picture makes me sad. Reminds me of my grandma's house. All the bedrooms that my mom and her brothers and sisters lived in long ago look like this. Empty. Memories fading.

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A small note that I got in a gift from my ex-girlfriend. She tried to kill herself twice in the early part of our relationship and I spent nearly every waking moment with her, so I grew pretty attached and protective. Selfish part of myself likes to think I saved her, but now looking at it makes me feel nauseous. Anyhow, seeing the pic so often made me feel like I had a bit of purpose and direction in life when I had no ambition otherwise.
sorry for the low quality oc pic

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This was the first wallpaper I had when I got my first smartphone. At that time,I recently got accepted for my first part-time job and have been with my first gf for a little over 2 months. A lot of firsts. At the time I thought that nothing could go wrong, because everything was up. Didn't take long till I broke up with my gf because she was cheating on me and me smartphone broke. This wallpaper always brings back memories of me and my gf wandering the town all day and cuddling by night.

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I'm broken, my mind doesn't work the way it should and that's a secret I've been keeping from my friends and family for a long time. Things that used to make sense to me no longer do and reality feels like a daydream. I can't find the words to explain the problem, I can hardly find words anymore or form sentences. The ground feels soft and the air feels fuzzy, is this the way it's always been? I'm sure it isn't, I remember a time when reality made sense, it was consistent.

Life hasn't been the same since something, but I can't remember what that something was. My hands used to be able to make art, they can't anymore. I'm plagued by electric shocks throughout my body. I think this is what it feels like to be old, to die slowly, but I'm so young, how can I be losing grasp on reality so quickly?

The man who lives inside my brain and the man who moves my mouth are different people. I'm afraid of what's happening but at the same time don't want answers, I want to pretend that things are alright. I am the ship, the world is the sea.

>>6951436
What happened?

>>6951436
Who hurt you?

>>6951441
I don't remember and my family won't tell me. The only thing they've let slip was the fact that I was in a coma at one point, but they won't tell me for how long or how I was in a coma in the first place.

>>6951447
Wish I could remember

>>6919175
I know the feeling dude. It ends up sound pretentious and stupid sometimes to admit that you can empathize and are inspired by true heroes. Superman is hated by people because he's so "perfect", but what separated him from Mary Sues is that he isn't the best of the best just to be that. He does what he does to protect his adopted home and everyone that lives on it. Keep striving to be th hero, anon

>>6919170
Kek! Joji looks like he doesn't want to be there.

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>>6951448
Me too man, if only I could remember all the times I was raped. I'm sure it was a lot.

>>6919782

ProTip - talk to women more like you would talk to men.

>>6951448
Well that sucks.
I hope you're able to find out soon enough, you deserve an answer

>>6919170
Are you fucking joking?

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>>6931468
Shouldn't it be relatively easy and cheap to visit New Zealand? Check Skyscanner, it says that tickets are around 300 pounds. I think you should be able to save up to make it this winter.

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>>6939247
I don't know if you know the source or not, but it a engraved illustration made by Gustave Doré. He made hundreds of illustrations for books like The Bible, The Divine Comedy, Paradise Lost...they are all excelent. You should look them up. My bible has his illutrations, and reading it with his engravings by side is a whole different experience.

>pic related, illustration from the book of genesis, during the flood, one of my favorite illustrations from one of my favorite book from the bible

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>>6930327
>>6930342
>>6930403
Another clone here: I dropped out of community college at 20, did three years in the oil patch making great money and growing up, went back to school, and I graduate with a geology degree next year. You can do it.

>>6947598
"Don't overthink things" is what i got out of it

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I use this one for my phone, in addition to being a great painting it's the cover art for an (imho) really good have a nice life album.
It's significance to me is that my dad died when I was really young, I was never able to really grieve about it, and I was left with this hole in my life that I didn't know how to express.
I coped by keeping an emotional distance from the whole thing, I'd just joke about it and whatnot, I was terrified of becoming attached. I hadn't even watched any video of him until I was 16 because I was horrified of making him seem real in my mind. And this album was one of my favorites at that time in my life, it was the background music to my internal struggle about this whole thing, so it holds a really sentimental place in my heart for being with me while I tried to come to grips with something I never wanted to think about.

>>6953962
>did three years in the oil patch
Where's one start with this? I need to get my shit together.

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>>6926368
>>6928655
I also started on /b/, less out of depression at first than boredom and the novelty, but it was my favorite shithole, and made long winters interesting. thanks for reminding me of it

>>6930327
you wrote my thoughts.
thanks mate

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and for everbody:

>>6919406
Man this hit me too dang much dude. I had self-harming issues in the past and although I am recovered. I still feel pretty dang alone. I only got one good friend but he is far away from me and I still somewhat hate myself. Was going to jump off a cliff one day in this forest to kill myself but that tiny bit of hope still keeps me alive but so far I feel not much has changed. Really happy that you got some good friends anon. Treasure them dearly.

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girlfriend broke up with me recently. never felt so depressed. pic reminds me of the fun times we had exploring the city. im in one of those cases where you dont realize what you had until it's gone. she was so fucking perfect. bought a garden hose and some duct tape a few days ago so i could kill myself inside my car. probably still going to do it just the thought of hurting my family makes me feel so selfish. i htink deep down i always knew i would never make it past 25 though haha

>>6954653

It gets easier anon. hang in there

>>6939232
thanks anon

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In my mind i knew it couldn't work out long term. I'm going to uni now but in one year I'll commission into the army, she just graduated with a degree in theater and is moving across the country for a new job soon, even farther than the long distance we've been doing for years. I knew it couldn't work, she'd have to give up her dreams to be with me long term. I don't want her to give up on acting, she's damn good and its her passion. But I've signed the papers and sold my soul to uncle sam. I can't offer her what she needs. She needs to be in New York or LA or Chicago, not Fort Bragg or Riley or Bliss. All I could offer her was a 5 year pause on her dreams, weeks or even months of me being gone, and a high likelyhood of divorce. And despite all the shit-- a small, selfish part of me wanted her to chose that.

I wanted her to want to be with me.

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>>6919164
liked this so i changed it a bit

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this reminds me of the song that accompanies it, but the image itself seems to conjure so much more.
It reminds me of the warm summer nights, aimlessly driving around with her. Talking and talking into the night, I never thought it'd end. But it did.
The image reminds me of the great comfort you can take in someone else, but also that sadness and fear of loneliness in the back of your mind, always present.

This image makes me feel that aching emptiness again, and even now I feel that same warm summer breeze gently blowing in from my window. It takes me back.

This image tells me of that loneliness, that drowning, enveloping, and confusing feeling of trying to explain away yourself.

I wish I could express myself better.

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>>6954835
one more just because it's a very nice picture

>>6940109
Everyone makes mistakes, but family is family, I'm sure your father understood you and knew how you felt, and I'm sure in his finals hours he thought about you, in a good way.

I had a really shity relation with my mother, not because she was a bad person, but she was unstable and hurted a lot our family, she was dangerous so since I was 8 I lived with my dad, when I was a child I hated her, until she died.

After a while I understood a lot of things, she actually took her life away because she wasn't able to be with her family, and with me.

Don't let the past hold you back, everyone that loves or loved you would want you to stay strong.

When the moment comes and you have your own family, be as good father as you can be, I think your father would be proud of that.

Also nice pape faggot, I'm saving it

>>6929981
I fell like you.

You know why some people ferl so good about this kind of isolation?
Because of safety. There's no evil, there's nothing to harm you, not a "third" person

It's just you, and the ones you love, in shelter.

>>6954653
We'll always be there for you anon.

>>6953568
I wish some of these people were. I honestly do.

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Last year -my junior year- ap classes and ap tests drained me of any energy i had. I also felt really lonely and i had no plans set for my future. i was lost and really didn't know what i would do. My mom had gone back to Mexico and had left us with our sisters. I usually would have talked to my mom about this lack of happiness and motivation but she wasn't there. after all the tests were over me and a couple of friends grouped up and decided to take some drugs to let loose kind of, it had been one of the most stressful years of my life and i was really needy for some type of way to make it worthwhile.
Our friend, also at the time my best friend, had the plug however, he was given laced acid without his knowing, it was cheap and so he bought three for each of us. i dont remember much of that night but i woke up soaked in piss and my sisters yelling at me and crying. i had never felt so tired, worthless, and ashamed then i ever had before. thoughts of suicide ruled over me for a while. i needed someone to talk to, but the only person i would open up to (my best friend) dipped on me, i felt like a cancer, i lost tons of weight because i didnt want to go into the kitchen and face my sisters. i was nothing and i felt it. i called my mom and cried on the phone. she helped me through it. i recovered and got a girlfriend who makes me so happy, i think im going to marry her

my mom really means so much to me ;this candle reminds me of the times i spent watching old 90's movies with her on vhs, we couldnt afford dvd players or cable when i was younger, love you mom, rest in peace

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>>6927536
>>6946445
gave it a try myself

>>6955072
I'm sorry for your loss, Anon. I'm sure she'd be proud of you.

>>6954653
I've been where you are now anon. It feels like shit now but if you hang in there it will get better

>>6955463
What's this sort of distorted style of picture called?

>>6947598
Basically your thoughts cloud judgement because your mind is always trying to interpret things relating to your own experiences. To do without thinking is to just feel, like what animals do. Animals don't let thoughts overcome their feelings. That's why birds travel in a V shape or your mom taking dick on the reg. Just a feeling to them Tldr; It's telling you to feel rather than let your mind think is going on

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>>6919406

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>>6934771
Accept that the darkness is now a part of you and find out what is causing it from there. Don't feel like it's pushing close to you. You're already feeling it, it's already there.

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Grandad died, he had a copy of this painting hanging in the corridor

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>>6955740
Thank you, Anon. I think she would be
This is one of our favorite movies

>>6954653

Don't. Not worth it at all. Had a similar experience which taught me I'd rather live trying to have a happy life than throw it away because I thought I had a shit one. Do something, go somewhere, take up a hobby. World's a big place, 7 billion of us out there - you're not alone, it's not the end of the world. Save yourself and live.

>>6956740
>I'd rather live trying to have a happy life than throw it away because I thought I had a shit one
Not him, but goddamn. That line struck too close to home. Thank you for that one.

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When I was little, there was a swing set isolated away from the main playstructure that I could run to straight from my backyard gate. I'd go there when I was sad, happy, bored, escaping family get-togethers, or just for the sake of it.

It wasn't very well maintained; it had paint chipping off the poles, the rubber seats were scored and worn down, and the chains were rusted. Still, it was a place I associated good memories with.

When I look at this wallpaper, I can smell the rust and oil from the chains that used to linger on the palms of my hands long after I'd gone inside.

We moved away from that house a little over a year ago, and my house was bulldozed to make room for condos. I'm afraid to go back to see the house I was born in no longer there, so in the meantime I have this wallpaper to remind me of my childhood.

>>6954540
Sounds like Alberta, though I think the oil industry out there is flagging a little.

>>6954653
Hey Anon, I don't know if the pape was a signifier for where you live but I'm up in Ottawa if you want to chill on Canada Day.

>>6927221
Hey anon. Do you see porn often?

>>6954895
thanks faggot. It means a lot, honest.

>>6930181
ah that's in Toronto. thank you. I miss walking by here.

>>6919166
>pack a week
>pack every 2 days
Come back after you've beaten a 2 pack a day habit. I did. After 17 years of 2 packs of lucky strike non filters every fucking day I put them down. Haven't had one since December 31 2016

>>6956487
shit

>>6929545
I hope you know that your paper is made after a smashing pumpkin's album cover.

>>6929545
wait nvm you get it

>>6954784
>>6955035
>>6956412
>>6956740
>>6956888
Thanks for your kind words guys. she finally told me today she's seeing someone else. I tried to end it on good terms. Because I honestly don't care that she's seeing someone else, if that's what makes her happy. But when she told me "she just wants to be friends" I told her im sorry there was no way I can be her friend after she cheated on me, I just want to talk to her every once and a while to make sure she's ok. then she said some shit like "haha no, clearly i don't need you, we were never more than friends anyways". I told her bye have fun with him. I don't know if I'll ever get over her, I can't stop thinking about her. Im sorry for this long useless post I just have a lot of emotions bottled up right now and no one to talk to. Sometimes I just feel like I need a hug and to cry but who the fuck am i gonna do that with. And sorry anon I am not in Ottawa city but I really appreciate the offer!

You did the right thing anon, you deserve better. A girl like that is someone who will never truly be happy herself, and she will feed off of others and bounce from guy to guy to feel something. You just need time to take away that pain of losing someone. It's all a learning experience, and in the end you will come out of this stronger and better than before.

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>>6957715
As I see it, you did well. There's no point in being friends if you don´t feel like it. Take it easy for a while, I know you'll make it through.

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All good things eventually come to an end, not because it is inevitable but because we let it happen. Every single time there's always one or a few who never really grasp the full reality of the situation so they deny it. And you know what, Anon? We listen to those guys. Because we want them to be right.

>>6927198
This is a nice pape anon

2 years ago I did an exchange in Ann Arbor and it looked a lot like this. Brought back some comfy memories, thanks

>>6954653
danks for the pape. tldr but get well soon and shit bc everyone else has it shitty.

>>6958301
Thanks. I love Michigan cities, they are all quite comfy. (besides Detroit)

>>6933331
I presume both. If you genuinely have autism you aren't blaming others on your problem, interacting with others is the problem.

>>6954611
Where is this quote from? Asiimov?

>>6951436
I really relate to this

I don't know what's happening to me but I might've always been this way

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I know exactly what I want out of life. I've been through a lot and I'm currently bridging the gap between knowing what I should do and going out and executing it without the fear of judgement from others.

>>6957715
1. If she was perfect, she wouldn't have cheated on you.
2. "Well I didn't think I'd make it past 25 anyway" is a bullshit excuse. From hardship comes strength. See: >>6954611
3. I'm in Toronto if you ever want to have a chat, and if you're not in this city, I'm sure there are other anons here from around the world willing to talk to you.

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This gets me over every exam season.

>>6919782
s-saved desu

>>6936310
>>6947742
this
also raise your kids right

>>6939232
Damn. Thanks for sharing anon, I'm counting my blessings from now on.

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>>6919153
my gf killed herself something about this pic made me feel ok. these kids kinda look like my m8s and i just love this guys art

>>6920322
Not at all - when you stop and think "where am I?" you see yourself as a part of bigger picture - you see the road you're going, how far from goal are you, what have you done, if you stand on the right path etc. Stopping and checking where are you and what's happening around you isn't a bad thing IMHO.

>>6927226
Sounds pretty bad. Wanna talk to someone?

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>>6954611
this quote is fucking great, I have to rebuild myself, just have to remember how I assembled myself in the first place

made my own version of that wallpaper, didn't know that the background pic was taken on mars and the bright dot in the sky is earth, pretty nice

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It's a long-ass story, but basically, I was going through a really fucking rough patch in my life, where everything was just going wrong all at once. I was depressed, I felt abandoned, betrayed, like no one really gave a shit about me, or my existence. I tried so hard to accomplish what I wanted, only to fall short. And in my rough patch, I just decided "fuck it, I'm just only going to rely on myself, that way, no one can ever hurt me again". And so for months I had that attitude, and you can probably guess, but it just made me even worse, and everything got even worse. It's pretty petty personal shit, but it got to the point where I realized that my shitty behaviour was affecting not only myself, but my family, and my dad personally had a talk with me to tell me how worried he was for me, and I finally woke up, and realized how self-destructive I was being, how that was no way to react to all the bad shit that was going on in my life. So I got on a sorta little journey to improve myself, and really explore what the fuck I believed in, what I really stood for, and what I wanted to improve. At the same time, I read Berserk, and I felt like I could relate to Guts a ton, not in the fact that I was fighting demons and shit everyday, but the fact that he went through so much bad shit in his life, and yet, he still fights on, and isn't giving up. I know it's really fucking dorky, but this one panel I saw in the manga really stood out to me in particular, and to me it represented how even in absolute darkness, and despair, Guts still shines, and carries on, despite being battered and beaten. Again, I know this is really fucking dorky, but I hope I can be sorta like Guts one day. I've improved immensely to how I was back then, but I'm still far from figuring out my own life, and this pic motivates me to keep going, and to never give up.

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This picture until today I do not know the author's purpose and i thank him for have created a beautiful image. This image has given me emotional and spiritual strength. Represents the purest state of charity and defines me as a human being. I really really love it and would like to hear opinions of others people of it. Thanks for this thread and please dont let it die

>>6960974
from demon's souls

>>6919425
Easy their with the edge you might cut yourself

>>6930327
23 yos, wasted first years of university on drugs and failed miserably. Mom got burned out from her work and life partly because of me.

Now I've met the most lovely girl in the world, she's calling me at the moment but i can't find the strength to answer. Family is always fighting, but i love them. Especially my dad.

I wish someone would help dad calm down and not be an emotional roller coaster. I don't know if he's in denial of his problems, or if its merely me viewing everything as a problem to be solved.

In the end, he always says i turned out like mom. and she says im like dad.
Idk who i am.

>>6961301
>>>6930327
I'm 22 (23 in September) and I'm at first year on Computer Science. I was kicked out of my previous course and it was the best thing happened because it gave me the courage to start computer science course and be happy about it (but some other students sucks and I feel bad because they don't understand I need some silence because of my ADHD, I keep asking them to shut up so...). In my country ADHD is the synonym of made up illness, bad parenting and young boys running across the room... So I'm happy I got diagnosed and got Concerta.

I've lost my job and struggle to find a new one - none wants unpredictable student :(.

I've lost my relationship, the lesbian one because I'm a girl ;). So when she was having her orgasm by me, she found she can't because she loves a girl she never kissed or anything but she loves her and it feels like cheating on this platonic love.
This girl I was dating has a cancer in her breast, I hope it will be the non-aggresive one but it's kinda weird because I've found it and sent her to the doctor.
Pretty cool drama, isn't it?

So listen then this - I live with my granparents which I call parents - my biological parents left me as a kid... And my bio mother is a daughter of my parents (grandparents) and they're saying how I keep shortening their lives, how bad am I, but when I've asked "so what's about her" (bio mother) they kept saying that I'm the bad one, not her. And they changed, they're old. I'm planning to move out - I'm tired of living with them but on the other side I feel like I should spend more time with them to not feel guilty later.

And talking about guilty... My uncle passed away last month. I was planning to visit him but he was getting better and I had exams so I've focused on exams. I didn't have time to meet him, finally...

Life is a constant struggle but maybe it's something about it? Maybe it's giving us valuable lessons and experience?
Oh... not only ADHD - OCD and episodes of depression.

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I've been a fan of this certain artist since I was in middle school. I kinda stumbled across her art one day on tumblr, and I found it absolutely gorgeous. It gave me something else to think about besides all the nasty rumors that my classmates spread about me and the usual lesbian-middle-schooler angst. Although I guess it was a tad worse than usual, since my parents would legit kick me out of the house if they knew that I was gay.

I kinda understood her feelings about immigrating to a different country, since my family moved to US when I was nine. I also understood the opposition to censorship, since my family in Russia was dealing with that shit. Special fuck-you to Roskomnadzor here. Also, my ukrainian paternal grandparents are forced to use TOR for everything from family communications (shit like vk is blocked, and guess where they used to message my dad pre-crackdown and still do?) to youtube, so that's been a nice time. A good chunk of my family is technically breaking a couple of laws daily due to VPN service use and whatnot. But they're not anti-gov anarchists, they're just regular people who want to visit the sites that they frequented pre-crackdown. And stream porn, I guess, although no one (besides my paternal grandpa who's far too fucking prone to oversharing) would admit to that.

So, yeah, I guess it's only natural that I'd set a promo art for Fisheye Placebo as a background. It's a favorite webcomic of mine due to its anti-censorship message, and this promo art is rather soothing for whatever reason.

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>>6951436
You sound a lot like me, anon. Except I have almost perfect recall of everything from the age of one and a half or two years old onward. I tend to remember all my dreams, all the stories I've read, all the stories I've written, places I've seen. I think it's some kind disorder or condition, and it's kind of crippling in a lot ways. Still though, the fog you describe certainly resonates, somehow.

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I'm a trans girl and sometimes I don't always feel like I'm feminine enough or a girl at all, but every time I look at this pape it reminds me a lot of me for some reason and I love the feelings it gives me. I have it as my phone background and as my profile picture for pretty much everything. Just makes me remember a lot of things about myself and reminds me that I really am a girl.

>>6960974
>>6958062

These are both wonderful wallpapers; full of wonder. Thanks for posting

>All good things eventually come to an end, not because it is inevitable but because we let it happen. Every single time there's always one or a few who never really grasp the full reality of the situation so they deny it. And you know what, Anon? We listen to those guys. Because we want them to be right.

I wish Alexandra understood that

>>6922269
Surely, anon, you realize the boat is holding up two middle fingers?

>>6919782
>There's this girl right now, but there's always a girl. Different name and face sure, but it's always the same.
>Maybe I'm in a restaurant or on a bus or whatever and all I need to do is reach out, say something, do anything, but for some reason it's the hardest thing in the world for me.
10/10 prose, but how old are you anon? It may sound like I'm looking down on you, but I feel like you're fairly young only because I am and you are me.

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>>6927214
>I've always thought it would be cool if I could turn into a girl whenever I thought.

Literally anyone in the thread raise your hand if you honestly don't agree with anon's unique stance. You don't have gender dysphoria, there are just times when you think the grass would be greener, considering least of all that the grass bleeds ever month and has headaches and cramps literally 25% of it's life.
At least during the years before the pastures have both been overgrazed anyway.

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>>6939343
This was originally meant mostly in a very Buddhist sense. Basically, to reach enlightenment, or at least to be happier and more at peace, you can't understand reality, you just have to know it. I think I once read something about a pebble in a river in relation to this concept. The world of the mud on river bed or the people in it(your fellow pebbles) will hold you in place, a comfortable place, so you'll want to stay, but only by distancing yourself from these obstructions can you flow with the river into the ocean. I've always liked the optimism of the implication that reality is biased toward our journey to the ocean.

In a secular sense, I've always taken this to mean >>6956556 with the slight caveat that avian flight patterns and reproduction aren't thought processes or feelings for animals. They're very clearly instincts, faggot.

>>6939967
I feel like I'd watch until I became certain immortality wouldn't get me hated, as I suspect it would in the increasingly surveilled modern world. That said, I really don't know what I'd do if I had a century to be bored or even twenty years to rethink.

>>6939225
Not thinking you'll be citizen kane but with time instead of money. Assuming the human mind doesn't go insane after existing that long, I'd almost certainly either decide to want power, or convince myself that my immortality could make me a Leto II style ruler and that that would be the best thing for humanity. Zero chance I'd do the whole hippie bullshit you're talking about for more than a century.

>>6945691
What the fuck is wrong with you anon?

Hey guys, join the WG discord. We couldn't find one, so we made one! https://discord.gg/djtNzgq

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I don't know, wish i did. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

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This wallpaper reminds me of 4chan as a whole, bc I got this wallpaper from 4chan. Summer just began recently, and I thought I'd enjoy it, but I only ended up missing all of my friends and experiences from school. I'm bored as fuck this summer. Seriously. Noisy family. No privacy. Tiny apartment. Awful, shitty laptop that can't even run nuclear throne well. 4chan was and is a whole new world to me, because no matter how much life sucks, I always have this amazing community that feels like home.

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condolences.
my sis presumably killed herself 5 years ago, and sometimes, i can easily fall into a depressive slump. or despising her. or wishing i was dead too. or living through what she got cut short of. wallpaper reminds me of her

>>6929201
my dude i have the same pape too.
But i look at it at different angles sometimes,
Is he a man resting, about to leave for his next journey?
Has he crash landed and is wallowing in his depression?
Has the beauty of this foreign world brought him to tears under the tree he calls home?
So many stories in this picture, but it always gives me hope

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>>6919327
Now you're Ironborn tho, so that's pretty neat

>>6919394
Why'd you delete your post? Now I'm curious...

>>6922269
You're english is fine anon

>>6922269
Your English is very easy to understand. I hope you find what you're looking for as well, I hope we all do.

>>6919175
thats gay
batman is cooler

>>6928894
anon you responded to here. before this thread dies do you have a discord or something?

i see your posts and i gotta say people, you ought to get off your own heads a little bit, just for the sake of health, i mean its all about perspectives, shift it and life looks different, at least that's what i think

>>6954848
i love that song dude, learned to play it on the guitar, really simple stuff, but it sets the mood alright

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This is my current wallpaper.
I enjoy the simplicity and the full naturalness and beauty of flowers and the wooden background. The stark contrast of the pink and the black/wood calms me.
It's just a very beautiful picture.