Everytime I feel sad or wanna forget about everything I come

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I too am an escapist by nature. Getting lost in all sorts of artworks and dreams is the only place no one can touch, or pollute. Realizing the value, sanctuary of my own mind gave me power over the people who sought to destroy me as compensation for their own insecurities and perceived sense of what the world around them owes. I came to realize that we are all a series of chemical reactions that would soon die out and dissipate to form new series of chemical reactions. Not many are able to live in the worlds that we do, see the things that we can, or spare the time to get lost in the magic of dissociation and depersonalization.
Keep strong Anon, and relish in the untouchable-ness of of your own mind, a series of chemical reactions that no one can begin to experience as you do, just as you will never experience a chemical reactivity identical to another's. You do not have to be part of the surrounding madness world, merely function in it and appreciate it for what it is, fleeting and unimportant. You owe it nothing just as it owes you nothing.

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I hope these other pieces of my collection also help you achieve the peace you seek:)

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@op: pape w/o logo

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Somehow or another, I find myself with less and less friends as time goes by.

I had one best friend when I graduated high school. We worked together in the same metalshop, went on bike excursions every once in a while, and attended the same shitty community college outside Buffalo. He was a brother to me, especially since most of my other friends went off to big 4 year schools and forgot about me. Last summer, him and I got together and decided to drive cross country to California, San Francisco to be specific. With a car full of camping gear, we hit the road for a solid 3 days of driving, with about 8 hours of sleep total. There isn't a single tree from Indiana to California, I swear to god.

Not 5 minutes after arriving in the city, he freaks out for no reason, stops in a parking garage in the business district, and leaves me for parts unknown. I remember the look in his eye as he shook my hand and said "good luck", before ditching me 2700 miles from home with a few hundred bucks and nowhere to stay.

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>>6775151

Luckily, I had subconsciously planned for a SHTF scenario. Called up an uncle who lived outside the bay area, and took a train to see him in his condo (pic related). Ended up staying with him and smoking a bunch of his weed since every single person in Cali is a stoner.

Meanwhile, my "buddy" started to threaten me if I didn't give him another chance, holding about 2 grand worth of my camping gear hostage. Hung out in the city for a couple days, took a plane home to Buffalo and waited a week for my stuff to get back, which it did.

People ask why I'm so jaded and cynical, I just tell them my stories. It doesn't matter the relationship you have with somebody, as soon as fight-or-flight kicks in, it's every man for himself and you need to be sure your own ass isn't in trouble.

Also, San Fran is SUPER gay.

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>>6775154
Sorry about the crappy pictures, here's my favorite wallpaper.

>>6775154
That's funny, I was in San Fran recently for the first time and all I could think was "why do people think this place is so gay?". It seemed like a sterile, fake corporate utopia, like if you looked hard enough you could see the cracks in the seams.

Anyway.

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Wew, op here, I had 3 tests in 2 days, sorry about asking for stories and then proceed to ignore then hahah!

>>6774801
I like to think my brain is more than chemical reactions, but I like the idea behind the power of my mind.

>>6775154
Damn, looks like you didn't had a friend, more of a... I don't know how to put it... A guy that went through similar stuff in life and ended up hanging out with him, you didn't truly connected with him, you know? That's like, 90% of the highschool friendships to be honest. And I laughed at the san fran thing hahahah.

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>>6776178
>>6775154
Just to add another note, I think it's fine that you don't have many friend, a priest from a church I used to go said something once that I never forgot. He said that a honest, sane person can count the number of real friend with just one hand, the rest are just 'buddies'.

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>>6776180
When I try to keep track of my real friends with one hand, I end up making a fist.

>>6774706
I took my car to a body shop for a final damage estimate so my insurance can total it out. Some faggot ran a red light and nailed my driver's door. I really miss having a car, and doing the six and a half mile walk home from the shop drove home just how convenient and efficient having a car is. But then I wondered, is a car more efficient than me? Since I've got nothing else to do with my time besides applying for jobs, I did some math.

A baconator is 980 calories, but for the sake of easy math, I'll round it to 1kcal or one kilo calorie. 1 kcal happens to be 4184 joules of energy,and 4184 joules converts to 3.96 (4 for simplicity) btu of energy. One gallon of gas is 114,000 btu. This means it would take 28,500 baconators to equal one gallon of gasoline in terms of energy.

My camry, when it was still safe to drive, did 39 miles to the gallon on the highway. I'm pretty sure however, I can do way more than 39 miles with 28 thousand baconators. In fact, for my weight, it takes about 75 calories to walk one mile. Multiply this by 39 and we get 2925 calories, or just shy of 3 kcals. This means that I can do 39 miles on three baconators, which equates to 12 btu, or 1/9500 the energy it takes my car to do the same.

You guys probably don't give a shit, but I think it's pretty rad that our bodies are so efficient. The human body is pretty fucking amazing, and you're pretty much always underestimating what you're capable of.

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>>6774801

>>6776452
your car has to move its entire weight and you only yours

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>>6774706
struggling w christmas presents, siblings always give expensive presents but because I have no job have to give 25-30$ gifts really hurts my pride and ego not sure what to do, cant really maintain a job w fatigue and depression

>>6775154
I think getting the fuck out of Buffalo never hurts anything

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Kind of been having a shitty week.

Uni has been really stressful, a friend of mine doesn't want to talk to me, didn't get a CS interview, and have been swamped with work. The only thing I was looking forward to was this formal dance my school organized yesterday, as I was going to go with someone I was really close with (pretty much a date at this point). She texted me and told me she'd meet me at the dance.

I went to the dance with some friends, but she never showed up. I texted her a couple of times throughout the night and she didn't respond. Really thought there was something special about her.

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed at myself. I kind of should have expected this week to end on a sour note and am kind of angry for not seeing this coming.

It hurts just a little bit.

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>>6774807
Thats not how that works...

>>6778340
But surely they don't make you feel guilty for giving them cheaper gifts?

It may sound cliche but it really is the thought that counts. In fact I would be extremely happy to know someone with financial troubles took the effort and money to get me a gift.

Don't let your head play games with you. Buy something they will like, the cost doesn't matter.

>>6781809

kekkity kek