depression

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hey bro. even when it seems no one loves you. theres allways someone out there who does. stay strong bro. being 20 is onely sometimes cause you cant legit go out to the bars. have patience and be nice to people you run into and good shit will come your way.

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my personal trick to deal with birthday's is to celebrate over a month. by the thierd weak you will feel much better.

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>>6600269
>>6600269
Thanks anons, means a lot to me.

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>>6600281
love a few of these, much appreciated anon friend, thank you!

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Stay positive, man. Think about things you want to do, realistic goals, things that make the shit worthwhile. I've been planning to kill myself for a couple months now, and it's the things that I want to do that help.

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She tells me to smile, even if you don't smile. But those who know me see through it anyway. A girl I didn't really know but saw in class frequently once asked, "you really hate yourself, don't you?" I was shocked that I was that transparent to someone when the people who know me best want to eother ignore or forget this or perhaps can't see it because they want to stay positive, remain happy, believe in the best in me. There's someone who loves you, understands you, even if it doesn't seem like it.

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“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”
― Albert Camus

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>>6600458
we're all in this clusterfuck of a reality together man, i know how it is to feel like killing yourself is the easiest end to the pointless lives we all live, but please don't. we all need eachother man. Also i have always believed that there is no meaning to life other than giving it meaning. we create our own reasons to live.

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But to what extent is repression unhealthy?

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Hey bro, happy birthday! 20! It's a fucking big one! I just truned twenty a few months back and can relate to the feeling. I think we all can. That's why we are all here. Together i mean!
Think about that though you literally have the support of hundreds and thousands of people simply because you have these fears that are shared amongst everyone.
Life is better than you think and greater than you know. Savor these young years!

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Hey anon, I am feeling really down now as well when writing this, but knowing that others are experiencing this and coping in their own little way while living this life provides some sense of comfort to me. Stay strong, bud. We're all in this together. Also, Happy 20th Birthday!

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Happy birthday, anon. Life's a bitch, but it'll get better. Trust me on this; it's not always instantaneous that life becomes better. But if you work at it, finding people you care about and people who care about you will come your way.

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I don't know if it'll ever get better anon, but if me posting in your thread makes your day a little better, then I hope you have a happy birthday.

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Happy birthday :)

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>>6600757

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OP here, you're all wonderful and intelligent people, anons. I greatly appreciate the happy birthdays!

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>>6600263
happy birthday !

Don't forget you're unique

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it doesn't get better. you get better at dealing with it. or you dont. I still havent.

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have a happy birthday, even if other days aren't so happy.

there's always next year, after all.

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25 yo here. Happy birthday anon. Unfortunately things don't really get better, life is harsh wherever you go. You just learn to shrug your shoulders and move on to the next day. Rinse and repeat every year. Remember to pay attention to every good thing that comes your way. I've found that life is pretty balanced though, you feel shitty just as often as you feel great. Cheers man. And remember your age is just a number. It literally means nothing.

>>6600263
I spent my 21st birthday playing video games. Get used to it bro.

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https://youtu.be/hAbJoXYxOX4
https://youtu.be/V1n0BlcGL-A

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Happy belated birthday anon. Here is some a e s t h e t i c papes.

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>>6601451

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>>6601453

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Don't worry, happiness is overrated. Accomplishment is far more meaningful than happiness.

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Happy day late birthday bud!
I'm pretty depressed as well, almost 21.
So I don't have any advice.

>>6600263
Fuck you, man. I made one of these last month for my 21st and one person replied.

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>>6602077
its okay.

>>6600995
just because you're unique doesn't mean you're special

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Happy birthday OP

>>6602077
Happy belated birthday, anon. Stay strong.

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does anyone else "feel it" when they watch Rick and Morty?

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One of my favorites.
them feels

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>>6600263
Local coffee shops are great. It's where I go.
Happy birthday, OP

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>>6603155
Ugghhhh.... Yes, yes I do. The realization that your own horrible actions and dysfunctional relationships have caused the pain and suffering of your children... and in turn caused them to create their own horrible relationships and fuck up their own children.... fuck man. Heavy shit for cartoons.

This is why I refuse to have kids until I can fix my own shit. Which I am closer to now than ever.... but it is a LOOOONG hard road.

OP:
Advice from a 30 y/o.... It does actually get better, but the thing that changes is YOU not the world. Perspective on life isn't something your brain will truly encompass until you perceive it for yourself.... and for me it took until I was 28 to *really* start to see it. My 30's are starting, my career is getting traction (*crosses fingers* don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up!) and I'm just now learning how to create and keep positive, loving people in my life, people WORTH having around (Pro Tip: most aren't.). A computer screen isn't a friend, a video game isn't a friend.... "screen time" actually made my depression WORSE. Find one or two good friends, hang tight and spend more time outside -away from phones/videogames/TV etc.

Want to know what made it better? Little victories! Every time I thought about the things that made me feel bad, I'd always try to throw in a positive comment to myself, like "Hey, at least I have shoes on."

-Late to a job interview I reeeeally needed? Could be worse right? At least it isn't raining!
-Get thrown out of my apt. by my abusive ex-husband? At least my car has locks on it, and gas in the tank.....
-"Good Guy" Friend took me in while I was homeless (yay!), but tried to feel me up while I'm sleeping (boo!)? At least I can sleep in my car! And I get to keep his teeth that I knocked out (Teeth-0, Bottle of JackDaniel's-2).

Suffering is universal to the human experience, but so is kindness - art - love. Perspective - it helps.

>>6603178
the crazy part is that I've almost reached your point in life. Not in the sense of age, but of mental state. Where true happiness is flowing into your routine. But I've had a lot of... miss-adventures in the couple of years. And in November of last year was sort of this fork in the road, where my decision was very polar; my personal happiness, freedom and the feeling of love from others, or conforming and going back to my routine life that once led to to the edge of my 11 floor building. I however did not reach this point all on my own.
I have to credit LSD as a sort of jump-start to opening my eyes and becoming truly self-aware of my actions and the path I was taking in life. The human I was forging, the skin that was building around me, and would solidify, creating the casket in which I would live until inevitable death would override all my decisions.
So now I live the second path. All I live for now is the possibility one day catch that window open again. Or the day I have the same opportunity, and go to that other life. I can't wait. I can't fucking wait anon.... literally.

https://imgur.com/C5ywtvK

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>>6600462
that stuff doesn't help once you're not in school.

once I go back to school it won't help cause I'll hate all the other kids, cause they're graduating with their 4- year degrees, and I'll be ~4 years late, so everyone will either think I'm stupid or feel sorry for me.

not op btw.

also bump the thread, this is good shit

>>6603315
Senpai. I know depression sucks. But please for the love of god don't link like that here.

>>6602067
Awesome version of that pic, the others were never....quite right. but the lighting hitting the mountain from the stars is a little unrealistic....maybe I'll hop it over to IMT...

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>>6600263
Everything will be okay, anon. Just find and maintain your inner peace

>>6600263
Fuck, I forgot to say happy birthday OP.

Happy birthday OP. I'm going through some shit too in my life, but you have to cherish the simple pleasures in life in order to keep a solid head. But like I said in the first post, find your inner peace as well and hold on to it tight brother

>>6600458
It's not worth it man. In the future, there are kids right now calling you Grandpa. Just be strong bro.

>>6600263
OP, you wouldn't happen to live in WA state would you? I think I know who took that picture

>>6603472
That's Cole Sprouse

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>>6600263
Im late but here you go Anon

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>>6600263
Since I saved so much stuff from here I see why not to give something back

and happy birthday, OP
just keep looking for the bright side of life, if you ever find a moment of peace it is one of those things and it is often (like, very very often) overlooked

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ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA !!!!

>>6604011
I know you said sadpost but fuck that!

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do not lose faith in the suite life

>>6601451
>>6601453
Those would both be really great without the writing.

Could anyone possibly fix those?

>>6604401
I fucking hate the Disney Channel

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>>6600995
With almost 8 billion people on the planet I find this unlikely and most of all irrelevant. I am completely replacable. Plagues, wars, and genocides have proven this rather effectively, and everyone is bound to have a physical and personality doppelgänger, mathematically speaking

>>6601160
Unless you're super old. Name of comic book?

>>6601738
aaand the desire to kill myself intensifies.

>>6603140
Is that a Vonnegut scribble?

>>6605612
physically maybe someone closely resembling, but specific thinking patterns and exact personality?

it's retarded to think this

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>>6603398
I'm sorry... I just... it insane how comforting it is to know someone, somewhere, is in the same ring of hell on earth that you are in.... im sorry

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>>6605619
>it's retarded to think this

8 billion people, narrow it down however many ways you want (gender, age, socioeconomic), but there will still be multiple people who share the exact same thinking patterns and a personality that is similar to yours beyond distinguishability

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i feel this thread

>>6605656
there is more to a person than age/socioeconomic status/obvious personality traits

each person is truly unique because of their unique experiences.

>>6603396
Sounds like you've already decided that you're gonna hate it?

>>6605716
The average person yas little in their individual life to distinguish them from many similar others; it seems logical to me thar somewhere there is someone whose life experiences differ very little. And I originally said personality, not thinking pattern. Thinking patterns would be hard to duplicate but people often share personality traits, it's not a stretch that a total stranger would have an identical personality.

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I suffered from very, very serious depression for years. I remember one night feeling so profoundly, deeply horrible, and realizing there was no possible scenario in my life that could cause this feeling - I couldn't even imagine anything that could cause this deep of a sadness. This was so far off the charts, so far outside of reality. It was then at that deep, deep hell, walking down the street at 9:30 at night, that I realized this was beyond my ability to rationalize.

And then I stopped and ate something. And suddenly I felt great again. And I realized... this was something my body was doing. This wasn't even a thinking pattern. It was a physical thing.

That night changed my life. It's been just over 20 years since then and while I occasionally have a few bad days, it's nothing at all like it used to be.

I can't tell you the "fix" because that's different for everybody, but I can tell you that the first step was the most critical: to start looking at your emotions as things that are not caused by the world or any real truth about self. It's just something that's happening in the body. And if it's happening in the body, then it can be changed. That was enough to get me looking for a solution that didn't have to do with "changing my life", and was more focused on "changing my health".

Well, that and kicking the addictive cycle of depression. (Remember: depression is addictive because it makes you feel important - you will seek it out when it's not there out of habit!)

Good luck and godspeed my friend. Sending you positive vibes.

>>6600263
Oh sorry op I forgot to tag you in my post: >>6608277

Unconditional love to you my dear boy.

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>>6603178
>the thing that changes is YOU not the world
Preach it brother! I didn't really get my shit together until I was... well I'm 40 now and kinda only just now getting there LOL...

But I'm grateful every single day for every stupid moment of my life, all of it, the highs and the lows. And not just because "it made me who I am"... that's bullshit, the "who I am" trap is of no interest to me any more... but just that I feel privileged to have had the experience. I got to hurt. I got to laugh. I got to sit bored on concrete steps once waiting for a bus to come. I was sick a few times and I helped people move and had arguments with my wife and ate a really good balogna sandwich and... lived. Thank God... if there is such a thing... for every stupid little moment.

And for the record I'm not on anything. It's just the perspective you get after awhile, you know? The years start to drag, you eventually get tired of grumbling, and finally just sit restfully, letting what shall be, be... and it hits you what a marvel it is to live a life. Any life.

>>6608277
Tbh I have no idea how one would go about changing your emotions w/o ingesting something. You said food, and I just started antidepressants again, and I used to drink a lot, and always enjoyed drugs but tended not to buy illegal stuff because I could never maintain a relationship with a dealer long enough.
My parents always told me to pray or change my attitude or how I looked at it, but unless someone presents a convincing counter argument, I can't just shift perspectives on a whim in a way that actually convinces me to feel differently. Time helps, but some things seem to never change. Like all the spergy moments that burn in my memory and make me feel shame and humiliation all over again, but when I try to apologize for them, I make it worse because they had forgotten about it and now I've brought it up again-- the catch-22 however, is that I assume it's on their mind until I've tried to explain myself. I wish I could go back to high school where I could repress memories better.

>>6608319
>I can't just shift perspectives on a whim in a way that actually convinces me to feel differently
Of course you can't. Only people who haven't experienced depression would think that was possible.

Don't worry about the misdeeds of the past. The past is gone, it isn't here anymore.

But separate from that, remember: these feelings are in you, not outside of you. Someone else forgiving you won't change how you feel about these memories. The true power to make peace with these old memories is to forgive yourself, to send that old self love and understanding.

Easier said than done of course. It helps to do something physical. Doing something physical reminds you that the only thing that's real is what is right here, right now. And take your vitamins... seriously like one of those B100 complexes from Costco or something. Helps a lot.

Of course if you really want to take the direct path straight towards getting this thing handled... well it's tough, but... take a serious look at "Doing Time, Doing Vipassana". It's a game changer.