Retro Mind-Fuck

In Japan Poison is also known as Doki Doki Panic

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>>3761053
Metroid is actually a chick!

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>>3761062
P.S. Metroid can also play the chello.

Nintendo's iconic Jumpman used to be known as "Mario".

Jumpman's name was changed to be the same name as Shigeru Miyamoto's garbage man.

When Sega released the Genesis in Japan and Europe, they changed the name to "Mega Drive."

The GBA was developed in response to the success of the Virtual Boy, but it flopped on it's initial launch and never saw significant sales. The handheld was quietly dropped and forgotten about. This failure was so shameful that discussion of the console is not allowed on this board.

>>3761164
I want to live in this timeline

>>3761073
Anastasia invented Tetris but then Rasputin stole it and sold it to Nintendo.

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Did you know?

Contrary to popular Belief, everybody's favorite Plumber existed long before Super Mario 64. He actually got his start crossing paths with Donkey Kong as the final boss of the hit arcade game. Back then they called him King Jump Man.

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>>3761172
>Rasputin
>Putin
It was him the whole time

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>>3761172
then Bartok stole it from me because he is a nigger
Anyway Yoshi was an idea based off a dinosaur that Mario was supposed to ride in SMB1

>>3761217
>Anyway Yoshi was an idea based off a dinosaur that Mario was supposed to ride in SMB1
You're joking but that's actually true, Mario riding a dinosaur was conceptualized as early as the first SMB

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>>3761053
>Not many people know this but in the game Final Fight the character Poison is actually...a MAN!


Yeah, no.

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>>3761053

>>3761053
Did you know that in Japan, the Nintendo Entertainment System was known as the MSX?

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>>3761214
i will meditate and destroy yu

>>3761053

Actually Poison was always a woman, but the yanks got their star spangled undies in a twist about being able to hit women (down with equal rights) and white knighted Japan, so Japan lied to the Murricans and said "hehe no.. is man!" and the Burgers were perfectly okay with that, cuz trannies should be murdered according to 80s Freedomburger rights.
Now suddenly women should have equal rights and Trannies are their own gender (out of a possible 9000) so the Japs were like "lol we kidded u" and burgertown was like "nono we knew, but now we want Poison to remain a man here cuz we rrrrreally love cock here in the ol' US of A".

>>3761073

>chello

Fuck you.

>>3761253

I wonder what the american's response to this was. Would have been interesting. And by interesting, I mean probably stupid.

>>3761073
that's a contrabass, holmes.

>>3761472
kek

>>3761494
>>3761498
Hello band nerds.
That was a test, you failed it.

>>3761062
>>3761073
And and and.. her name isn't actually metroid! it's samus aran!

>>3762231
Do you not have arms, or are your funny bones located in your dick?

>>3761053
Poison can't be a man because I've flapped to her too many times for her to be a man.

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>>3761053
The protagonist of "Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu" isn't just a made-up video game character - in actual fact, his portrayal in game was inspired by real life Chinese actor and martial artist, Bruce Lee!

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They're names come from BUBble BOBble.

This actually didn't occur to me for the longest time, I mainly played Puzzle Bobble growing up.

Final Fantasy Facts incoming!

Final Fantasy was named so because the creator of the game planned on it being his last game before he was going to kill himself.
When the game turned out to be a success he instead turned to chocking prostitutes to satiate his desire.

Final Fantasy 7 was named so, because the character for 4 in japan is て which Square Enix America thought was a 7. So they named Final Fantasy 4, Final Fantasy 7.

>>3764589
Mario was named after an Italian landlord who would stomp on the Nintendo developers and take their money when the rent was late. He also smashed up the walls and the roof to find any coppers they had squirreled away. At one point he grabbed an employee by the ankles as he tried to climb out a 5th floor window, turned him upside-down, and shook every yen he had out of him. The shaking and the upside-down M on his belt buckle inspired Wario.

He also stamped on their shittake mushrooms because they were very expensive in the 80s and they were buying that instead of paying rent, and he once punted Miyamoto's pet turtle at his skull.

>>3764638

Different times!

Shigera Meyamoto (the creator of DK and Mario) made Yoshi's Island in a cartoony assthetic because he hated how Rare had made Donkey Kong Country on the SNES.

From an interview with EGM:
> "I hate Donkey Kong Country. It is a very poor game that makes me feer great shame for the company of Nintendo and the country of Japan. Rare made Donkey Kongu Country without my permission and as I am the king of Japan I wirr decrare war on Rare and on America. Rong rive emporer! Rong rive Japan!"

>>3764638

Mario SEGAle

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OP was never straight

>>3765323

>OP IS never straight

Fix'd

>>3761214
I like Rasputin more when it comes to Russian super men.
Putins alright though.

Zelda in The Legend of Zelda games is not the hero you play. Link is the name of the Hero and Zelda is the princess. Besides in one shitty as game.

>>3761053
She's a transgender woman actually.

I should try a Poison cosplay one of these days

>>3766320
>>3766324

Fuck off back to tumblr, samefaggot.

>>3766324
>Trans women are women

But not actually or in any measurable way whatsoever.

>>3761498
I dunno about that, it has the pegs sticking out and is pretty small compared to Samus's hands. The smaller top section makes it look like a bass, but it has features of both.

>>3762210

Spotted the autist.

>>3766818
Spotted the autist spotter that engages in extreme autist spottery.

>>3766324
biologically no.

no matter what mental disorder he has, he will always be a he. Even if he chops off his willy and crafts a fake vagina from the left overs of his cock.

He will always be a he.

>>3766324

Woman? Nope. He wasman.

>>3761053
Birdo is a man who thinks he's a girl, while Yoshi, who he's often paired up with, is refered to with masculine pronouns even though he lays eggs.

>>3761472
Did any Americans actully care? Cus other games had female enemies and no one cared.

>>3765209
I'm crying

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>>3761053
They don't have hedgehogs in Asia so in Japan Sonic is known as "Excitable Needle-mouse za Sawnikku"

>>3771897
In Japan Sonic 2 was called Doki Doki Panic

>>3761062
Metroid is a pretty cool guy. He kills aliens and doesn't afraid of anything.

>>3761053
The original Contra was named after the Iran Contra affair, and the two heroes are actually named after two real life soldiers who got the most civilian kills in that conflict.

The Game Gear (or is it Sega Master System, I forget) game Tama or Tama and Friends is a Japanese game based on the anime Gintama. The main character was supposed to be the huge dog in Gintama, Sadaharu, but because of marketing reasons they replaced him with a cat.

The goombas in Super Mario Brothers really is an allusion to one of the monsters in Shin Megami Tensei, Mara, which is a giant penis monster.

The constant eggplants in many old Nintendo games were a hidden side joke about Nigerian nationals that tried to seek asylum in Japan so they could work in the geisha industry.

The arcade game Bosconian made by Namco created a lawsuit by Lucasfilm because of the titular fighter being able to shoot in front and behind the craft. The lawsuit claimed that the Millennium Falcon had turrets that could fire behind the ship, so they violated copyright and thus owed Lucasfilm all the profits to the game.

The game Custer's Revenge was actually to spawn a series of porn parodies that would last way into the 1990s. While there were plenty of drunk natives willing to play the female parts in these films, Ron Jeremy refused to be a part of the project as the title character and thus talks broke down and the concept scrapped.

Pac-Man was initially supposed to get fatter as he ate pellets, but this was scrapped as it was feared it would make female game players self conscious and start cutting and listening to 1980s emo J-pop. The game Super Pac Man tried to incorporate this concept but it was short lived and the connection to the original idea wasn't made clear until developers discussed this years later.

The shmup 1942 is actually about air combat in 1940.

Splunker was initially intended to use the animation process used in Prince of Persia before development costs cut it short.

>>3761053
The ghosts in Pac Man represent four deceased wives of people on the staff of Namco. There was going to be a fifth ghost that would steal half your points instead of take a life, but there was no cute way to say divorcee in Nipponese.

>>3775294
The Pac-Man one made me laugh

>>3769770
I have a feeling it was only executives and radfems that actually cared.

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The original concept of Monkey Island was about British empire's first contact with Africans. After several marketing research programs LucasArts changed the game location to Caribbean, and the monkeys to be literal monkeys instead of dark skinned Africans.

>>3778545
Noice

I'm stealing all this information to make a Youtube channel, it's all so fresh I should have no trouble hitting million views and living off ad revenue.

Hope you guys don't mind!

Capcom actually made fighting games other than Street Fighter and Marvel.

>>3761703
yes, yes, somebody has 'failed' for pointing out your mistake.

>>3780079
Don't forget to have an annoying minute and a half long intro with cheesy retro graphics and possibly small clips of yourself doing goofy things.
And add SFX for dumb moments in the video, lots and lots of SFX.
Then have a minute long ending thanking everybody using a bad mic set up.
You are set to be a you tube contributor!

>>3761053
I'd hit it.

>>3780117
Dirty liar!

>>3780159
>MARCHING Band nerd detected

I want to fuck Poison

not the Poison in the op

but I would fuck Poison

>>3780407

Me too, with a chainsaw.

Original Banjo Kazooie has a featured called Stop and Shot where if you sent money to Nintendo they would give you secret codes to unlock hidden items, which could be transferred to Banjo Kazooie 2 if you took the game cartridge to Babbage's and printed out photographs of the items then put them into the transfer pack. It was removed because Rare wanted to focus on adding a secret island to the first level of Goldeneye.

>>3782538
Oh yeah and originally the game was for the Sega Saturn and was an RPG about a Squirrel. That squirrel's name? Bubsy, yes the same Fonker from Bubsy's Hairy Day.

>>3761053
>drawing of Poison with a vagina
>INACCURATE, DOWNVOTE

>drawing of Chun Li with a gigantic dick
>AWESOME, FUTA

>>3778470
Fuck TERF's!