The worst of the worst of retro vidya game cover art, the thread

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>>3373334
That wasn't even the actual box art. I mean, the actual art isn't much better, but it's not that hideous.

>>3373334
Jesus christ what the fuck is that

>>3373442
It was considered as the coolest hair cut in the eighties.

Think about what people will think about your actual stupid haircut in thirty years.

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Obligatory post.

>>3373708
Mullets were never cool.

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>>3373334
>inb4 Phalanx

>>3373883
Phalanx isn't even bad. I mean it servers the purpose of box art by grabbing your attention, even if by unorthodox means.

>>3373409
Except for man hands on that chick, that box art is sweet.

>>3373906
I like that cover art actually,

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>>3373980
Phalanx was awesome. It made the game totally stand out.

Games with amazing art in game and terrible boxes always made me sad.

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The entire gaiares campaign was such a clusterfuck when sega got afraid people are gonna call the game "gay ass" and tried making "can you say GUY ARE US" into the slogan.

Just rename it to hyperspace shootout or something if you're that insecure.

>>3373881
>Being this young
Even Superman had a mullet in the 90s.

>>3374018
Kids these days will never understand how awesome it was to be all business up front and a party in the back. You still see them in rural Canada sometimes, it's pretty sweet.

>>3374026
>rural Canada
wet water

>>3373334

Mega Man is really close to the top, if it IS the worst one is subjective

>>3374036
Not really, Toronto is one of the largest cities in North America and is the most multicultural in the world. Still, it's awesome to be in the country and see people rocking awesome hockey hair like it never went out of style.

>>3373409
This game was one of my regret purchases back in the days. After the pack-in Altered Beast, the free Revenge of Shinobi, the really short Strider, and so-so Castle of Illusion, this was my first 3rd party title for the Genesis. I was craving another game for the system, and got this game. Its case art did not match and was really ugly, they even included a poster of that ugly cover with the game.

The music and opening "cinematic" was great but the game felt a bit off to me. Ship never moves at the right speed for me, either too slow or too fast. I got back on track with Sonic and Streets of Rage for my next purchases. Still have all the games, but I would have so much preferred the Japanese cover of Gaiares back then, and wish I could trade it for a Japanese version now.

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The mullet WILL rise again
Your kids might wear it specifically because of how stupid you think it is
That's youth culture, Son

>>3374017
As a kid, I always thought it was pronounced "Gaia Res". Gaia as in earth, and res for short of restore (or resurrecton), which seemed to fit the theme of the game's story. Had no clue it was supposed to be GUY ARE US, but it does make sense kids in my day may call it "Gay ass" ... that ad did no good because only until recently (watching Game Sack) that I've been pronouncing it wrong. EGM's 8,9,9,9 (and Gamepro's fully electrocuted faces) did more good for the game than that ad.

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>>3374013
Unfortunately that was the case with pretty much every other Japanese game brought to America back then. It only got worse in the 3D era when our obsession with replacing the original Japanese art with hastily drawn western art that barely matched the game, warped into replacing it with clunky 3D models to show how sick nasty and advanced the graphics were.

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>>3374080
That's exactly how you should pronounce it and exactly what it means, though. That sad marketing campaign didn't even do its research properly. You were right all along.

>>3373906
It's a nice cover, completely in tune with the aesthetics the in-game graphics were going for, and I'd say it looks better than the Japanese one which is "cooler" but looks kind of messy.

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MegaMan games in general on the NES had some funky boxart. MM3 gives MM rapeface. And MM2 isn't much better.

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>>3374857
I never noticed Megaman's broken fucking ankle there before.

Also the MM3 art is particularly bad because Capcom insisted on reusing it several times.

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This one always stood out to me, I don't recall seeing Fester wear lipstick in the B&W TV show or the movies.

>>3373980
>Phalanx isn't even bad.
wrong

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>>3374080
>>3374839
Correct. The katakana on the Japanese game insert is "ガイアレス" - gai-a-resu ie Gaia-res.

>>3374869
Why does that make it "particularly bad"?

>>3374869
looks like one of those garbage pails kids or the hell its name is

>>3373906
man i remember being a kid and having a cheat/hint book with a full guide of this game, i wanted to play it so bad but never got it

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>>3375513
See
>>3375530
And pic related.

>>3375475
if they had put a hot anime babe on the US cover, then I think they would have had more sales.

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This one is great. Makes the blob look like a giant blob of jizz, and makes the game look like it has better graphics than it really does.

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>>3375570
This one here? They didn't even TRY.

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>>3375574
Find it strange no one posted this "What's up fellow young kids?" cover.

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>>3375578
>We need text, GIANT FUCKING TEXT EVERYWHERE
>JUST TEXT MY SHIT UP

>>3375574
Fuck you buddy I love this. Its a party game and it shows partie peepoles

>>3374013
>Games with amazing art in game and terrible boxes
>DOS era in a nutshell

>>3373708
Nah man, undercuts will never go out of style. Mullets are a fad 'do, undercuts are a timeless classic.

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>>3375578
But this is so bad that is TOTALLY GNARLY!

Even the main character walking cycle is tubular as fuck.

>>3375578
Your pic is the most awesome thing I've seen in my entire life.

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>>3375513
Because they took an ugly fucking cover like that and lazily applied it to three different games.
>Megaman 3
>Megaman GB/Rockman World
>Megaman DoS

>>3375720
I'm not that guy but that still doesn't make it "bad"? The actual composition isn't great nor terrible. Besides, that type of thing happens all the time with movie posters, book covers etc.

>>3375732
In what way is that spikey fingered garbage pail kid not bad?

>>3373883
Because of this boxart I can't unsee Strider Hiryu as Patrick Swayze.

>>3375740
>>3375720
Somebody worked hard on that, Anon.

>>3375841
And I work hard every time I use the toilet, doesn't mean I created a work of art.
It looks like a dwarfish slav with fish hands.

>>3375878
If you work hard on the toilet you should improve your diet.

>>3375475
>>3374080
In Untold History of Japanese Game Developers one of the devs says that the "res" part it's supposed to mean (in Japanese, of course) "Gaialess", as in "without Gaia/earth" because the earth was destroyed or something, but that he can see how fans would think "res" is for "rescue".

>>3375952
Except of PS II western covers are bretty normal.

>>3375578
MTV also had a contest with this game. Cant get any more 90s than that (it was done in 1991)

>>3375952
The Japanese PS2 art looks more like the hero from PS3.

>>3374080
Same here

>>3374018
>being this much of a faggot
>implying

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>>3374839
>>3375915

I learn something every time. The setting of the game was that the earth was destroyed by pollution (common '90s animation story theme) and if you do succeed in destroying the enemy, humans will be given a 2nd opportunity to have a cleaned up earth. "Rescue" would have made sense to me as a kid too (but I did think it was short for resurrection or restore). Gaialess sounds great to me as well for a title. I guess that "Guy Are Us" pronunciation was worth not having the game called "Gay Arse" but "Gaialess" does make it a through provoking title (going well with big naked anime girl cover).

The game has both English and Japanese on the cart, if I pop it into my US Genesis it is English, and Japanese if I pop it into a Mega Drive. There are quite a few Engish moments which I don't think I caught as a kid, but pretty cool the devs tried.

As you can see, those were the first 5 games I got, and Gaiares stuck out like a sore thumb with its ugly boxart.

>>3376001
thought* damn auto-correct

>>3373708
This game came out in the 90s. That cover was just as baffling then as now. At least now we can laugh at it.

>>3373334
GAY R AS

>>3374080
GAY R ASS

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>>3373334
How has this not been posted yet.

Dunno how they expected people to get hyped on games that the cover looked like this.

>>3375841
>>3375732
You don't have to asslick every game that IGN considers a classic. If the box art was shit it was shit, deal with it.

>>3375952
I actually like the western cover art of those examples and I never had a genesis/megadrive back then. Not saying the japanese art is bad but like the western ones they look cliched in their own way.

>>3376001
As a SNES fag, I feel a little jealous. Guess I'll grab Gaiares with some other classics when I'll get a hold on a Megadrive console!

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>>3376059
As stated, aside from music and cool intro, I think Gaiares either has your ship move too slow or too fast with nothing in-between. For the Genesis/Mega Drive, I would say go for Musha Aleste or Thunderforce 4 instead, but those are costly now.

I too loved my SNES, unlike the Genesis, you can choose a random SNES game and 60% of the time it'll be a good game. Whereas the Genesis has the 5% amazing stuff which is costly now, but an ocean of pure shit.

As for box art, SNES never does give me the same extreme highs and extreme lows Genesis boxart had. I attribute that to the dulling effect of the large black borders.

>>3376058
I really dislike western Landstalker and PSIV.
Everything else is good, and Shining Force II is probably better than original.

>>3376035
I came here to post this. This and several other covers for the system is initially why I never to wanted to give it a chance.

>>3374878
Prove it.

>>3376091
>these manuals have my fingerprints all over the black areas

... I HATE it when that happens. And it happens literally all the time, unless I wear a glove or I have washed my hands immediately before checking the manuals (and even that isn't fullproof).

What could I do to prevent that? I fucking hate it when I open up a mint booklet and 1 minute later it is full with fingerprints.

>>3376091
>Megaman X
>Babbage's price: $69

In a way I'm kinda glad optical media took over after the PS1.

>>3375952
Maybe except for JP PSII and IV I think the US covers are better. Those JP ones (except for those I mentioned) really look like generic shounen shit imo.

>>3373409
Ah it is. Those three characters look pretty decent. The OP's is ridiculous.

So is the OP just a joke photoshop?

>>3376565
>samefag
sorry I mean it is much better.

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>>3376528
That pretty much was how SNES instruction manuals were. I had these since I was young and noticed that, but it was not on my mind to treat the booklets like display jewelry. So I live with the fact that those instruction manuals are mine.

>>3376537
Yeah even with inflated speculator/reseller prices, games now are cheaper than they were for me back in the day.

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>>3373883
Phalanx's art is awesome. I wish this version was real though.

>>3376665
>Yeah even with inflated speculator/reseller prices, games now are cheaper than they were for me back in the day.

Sometimes games that were produced with high memory capacity (therefore more costly to produce than the regular carts obviously) had much worse MSRPs on release as well. For example, Square's Bahamut Lagoon originally retailed for the Yen equivalent of $114.00.

>>3375753
underrated post

>>3376673
>For example, Square's Bahamut Lagoon originally retailed for the Yen equivalent of $114.00.

Rereading the shumplations FFVII interview, it was actually FM: Gun Hazard that retailed for that price. My bad, though Lagoon was still mentioned having a very high price.

>>3373906
what's wrong with this? yeah theyre framed kinda awkwardly but a lot of covers have that problem

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>>3376665

>>3375684
is this jhon cena?

>>3379859
bottom right giana looks like a tumblr feminazi.

>>3375579
You're trying to hard kid.

>>3375952
Both of those PSII covers are cool as fuck IMO

>>3375570
ABaHB actually has rather beautiful and fluid sprite animation.

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>>3382792
The problem with Phantasy Star II US cover is the faces are really ugly. Especially Nei.
Everything else about it is cool though.

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I did some digging and found this one. It's from some obscure Jap-only Track and Field style game for the Playstation called "Jounetsu Nekketsu Athletes: Nakimushi no Coach no Nikki". This has to be up there with the early Megaman box art as being one of the best shit covers I've ever seen. Words can't even do this one justice, there's just so much happening here.

>>3376001
>The game has both English and Japanese on the cart, if I pop it into my US Genesis it is English, and Japanese if I pop it into a Mega Drive

If you hold down A, B and C when you press START at the title screen, you'll enter the options menu. The last option on the menu is the Language setting, so you can change it to Japanese on a U.S. Genesis, and vice-versa.

I didn't realize that popping the cart into a Japanese Mega Drive would automatically start it in Japanese, but it makes perfect sense...

>>3382869
i remember seeing this cover in nintendo power. i don't have a clue what the PR department was going for

>>3383208
It gets your attention because it's so weird. A lot of games have aliens and lasers and spaceships on it, but few have an old man with a banjo.

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>>3373334
thats the fucking game sack joke cover art

>>3376035
This cover is infinitely worse when you realize this used to be a fucking FIST OF THE NORTH STAR game.

>>3382917
"DICKS. DICKS EVERYWHERE."

>>3382693
If his chin is his balls, does that mean his mouth is sort of a penis/ass/vagazzle hybrid?

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>>3374064
But Jarrie said it was awesome. You must have missed something.

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>>3374064
Wow I feel completely the opposite. For me it was just a random purchase from a pawn shop with half a dozen others I'd not really heard of at the time. It quickly became easily my favorite shmup on the Genesis and one of my favorites overall. I've played through it more times than I can count, love everything about it. Especially the upgrade system and those awesome as fuck bosses.

>>3376091
> you can choose a random SNES game and 60% of the time it'll be a good game

idk about that man, SNES had a lot of serious shitters too.

Also, genesis had a load of great games but they definitely don't cater well in terms of graphics and shit like that. They're all very edgy and different. Nintendo had this kiddie charm, whereas genesis was like the older edgy teen brother.

>>3375952
Did they change the sprites and shit in the US releases? Or the manual?

Because otherwise it would make no sense seeing that on the cover then playing the game and all the characters look like animu.

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>>3384035
I think the two systems just appeal to different people. I had both and no brand loyalty to either Nintendo or Sega. But by the end my Genesis collection is probably 4-5 times larger than my SNES one. That system just has a ton of games I really like on it.

>>3373334
>it's one of those "anime bullshit is better than US covers" threads
Get fucked, weabos.

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>>3384035

I dunno, when I was a kid I grew up with a Genesis and games like Castle of Illusion and Ristar (and Sonic, of course).
My cousin had a Super Nintendo and he had stuff like Super Metroid, Demon's Crest and Final Fantasy VI.

In my eyes, SNES had the most "adult" games, I wasn't aware of the whole sega vs nintendo rivalry at the time and I didn't knew what kind of marketing strategies each company used.

When it comes down to it, both systems have their share of kiddy games. And that's fine, Castle of Illusion is still one of my favorite games of all time.

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>>3384025
>>3374017
>>3373334
https://uk.linkedin.com/in/bunkerjamese
http://www.1up.com/features/where-are-they-now?pager.offset=1
The Gaiares man.

>>3382869
If you gave me a shmup with a banjo sountrack and narrated by an old man, id play the FUCK out of that

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>>3373823
what makes it even worse is that Europe got this bad ass cover art.

>>3375578
>Find it strange no one posted this "What's up fellow young kids?" cover.
That's because it's not bad, it's actually fucking radical my dude.

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>>3384169

>Pibe Valderrama

90's as fuck

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The thing I love most is that it comes with a poster of the old guy. The poster even features his dog that you can't see on the box!

>>3375753
It's Bruce Willis.

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enough of this rubbish, it's time for the best covers of all time.