I almost bought a PS vita because I saw this on PSN, but then

>>3236520
>Why do video game companies hate consumers so much?

Poor baby.

>>3236520
Get it on PC faggot.

>>3236520
Gearbox is reworking duke to make him more hip with catchphrases such as bazinga in 3d

>>3236576
Epic. Epic for the win.

>>3236570
I have it on PC. but the PC isn't very portable, is it? faggot.

I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL STEEL STEEL

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It's time to kick bubblegum and chew ass, and I'm all outta ass

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>>3236758
>Bazinga

Fucking dropped.

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Gearbox recently acquired the whole franchise through legal shenanigans.

So they took down every available version of the game so the money stops going into pockets that aren't theirs, and instead of just re-negotiating the rights for these versions, have decided to make their own port instead so they can earn 100% of the sales.

... even though they're losing more money by making their own port, than if they'd negotiate the re-release of the existing ones and share the sales money with the devs who made them.

But apparently making their own DN3D port is harder than they thought because it sure is taking a long time.

Word is that it will come with a new episode, however that will include new Duke quotes such as "Bazinga!" and during development their idea for a new enemy was a Liztroop with a mohawk.

They're also basing everything on a dynamic light system ripped off from EDuke32, and they were also using the level editor of EDuke32 even though Pitchford threatened to sue the mains EDuke32 devs (for other reasons).

They've already fucked up so much that their port will not be compatible with custom maps and mods, even those that were compatible with the original DOS version of the game.

Yes, now you feel bad for asking.

>>3236576

I wonder if Gearbox will try to make duke more PC because the old Duke is an outdated embarrassment or some such bullshit. And, of course, Randy will take to twitter to call all of the people who complain about it bitter, mean manchildren who refuse to grow up.

huh, strange. glad i picked this up off of psn a few months ago. it plays really well on the vita. I also have star wars dark forces on here. i wish theyd add Doom and Hexen

>>3236789
But he's right.

>>3236767

Based Gearbox saving the King again!

>>3237535
>>3236789

Christ. The fun of Duke Nukem was always, first, the sheer, offensive bastardry of the whole thing. Strippers, pipe-bombs, rocket-pack gun battles through a fast-food joint, it was all so perfectly 90's. Just an over-the-top smash-about through pop culture.

The other fun bit was, with Duke, you got levels that were "realistic", to use the term VERY loosely. Still, it was like...hotels, and cruse ships, which made all the crazy shit going on all the more fun. It really helped dial in the whole action-hero vibe.

I remember hearing in interviews how, several times, they had to re-do designs or events to make sure it was MORE offensive, more upsetting. It's that kind of balls-to-the-wall, let's piss off everyone attitude that made duke great.

Now we're going to get some limp-dicked expansion that'll be edgy without triggering their new, polycromatic hair target audiance. Duke's going to be some laughable parody, rather then...well, a parody, but one who is so over-the-top, you end up rooting for the ballsy bastard.

We don't get to be mean, offensive, sexist, hyper-aggressive or even funny anymore, not even vicariously through a steroid-and-tits fueled fictional action hero. Duke is the fucking asshole we all have wanted to be, at least once or twice, when life gets dull, someone cuts you off in traffic, or some little shit kicks your shin in the store, then giggles and runs away.

Maybe gearbox will pull it off, but i doubt it. I honestly don't think they have the balls to piss off as many people as the old Duke games did.

>>3236767
They're not going to make him say bazinga in the original episodes are they?

>>3239152
I don't how much they're changing the original game. But if they're using dynamic lights, they're probably adding that to every level of the original game as well, so who knows what else they want to ruin.

>>3238341
It's just a new episode, like No Rest For The Living for Doom, so I doubt that much thought was put into it really. They're just going to be miles off the point in terms of humor and "pop culture" reference...

I think the only way to make Duke work nowadays, which would satisfy everyone, is to do what the TV show Ash vs Evil Dead did with Ash. Show Duke as a forgotten old-fashionable old man way past off his prime, but there is that one thing he's the best at, and when the world needs it again, he's the only one who can do something about it and becomes bad ass again.

Someone who had his hands on the in devoplement files, same guy who found the "Bazinga" John St Jon quote, says the levels will be good. That they're outsourced, not made by Gearbox devs.

Though I personally believe they're already off the point to begin with if they use dynamic lights. Every modern dev who tried to make a "retro level" in its new FPS showed that they had completely forgotten how to make shading for retro FPS games.

>>3236587
What is a Laptop?

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>>3240632
you're grasping at straws for something

I'll be the belle of the ball!

>>3236789
>>3238341


Okay, stop right fucking there. First of all, your entire post reeks of "evil SJWs!!!" which is, like. Bullshit.

Second of all, Gearbox did make a game where Duke was "superoffensive!!!" - it was called Duke Nukem Forever. It sucked.

You know what was a good sequel to Duke Nukem 3D? Prey. Fucking Prey. Great level designs, fun action, weapons that feel good, cool mind-bending mechanics, and interactive environments. THAT'S what Duke Nukem is about. IMO, Duke Nukem Forever should've been scrapped and Prey should've been called Duke Nukem 4, and everyone would be happy - including 3D Realms because someone would actually buy Prey.

Honestly, the whole "alpha male" shtick is pretty tired at this point. Duke Nukem 3D was parody of action movies, but now EVERY videogame protagonist is edgy badass doing one-liners - Duke has been specifically cloned into Serious Sam, the guy from Bulletstorm, we've had Gears of War, Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, Captain Price in CoDs - hell, in multiplayer games like TF2 one-liners are a MECHANIC. Even guys that WEREN'T like that are now retconned like that where now in Brutal Doom where now you have a one-liner button, and a middle-finger button - Doomguy is now also a cool edgy badass! You're happy about that, right? Right?

How do you even MAKE Duke offensive? No, chugging some beers and ogling women won't make him offensive, not anymore. He can crack a joke at the sight of his fuckbuddies being forcibly impregnated and dying - oh right, but that doesn't make him very sympathetic.

How do you make him controversial? Make him a feminist ecoterrorist who is now retconned to be a transgender dude, with a game mechanic of pissing out of his manly vagina into throat of random neonazis? I mean, that is sure to piss off a lot of people. Would you want that? Would anyone want that? Is there a non-zero chance that someone wouldn't screw that up? Hell no.

>>3242509
Wait, I was wrong, Prey DID sell well.

... Remind me then, why are we still giving a fuck about Duke then instead of campaigning for Prey 2? 3D Realms legacy is much better continued with new Rise of the Triad and Shadow Warrior games. And bury Duke deep, and forget - maybe play Duke 3D sometimes. But at this point it's over. He's done. We have old games that can never be taken away, and that's all, it's time to move on.

>>3242535
Maybe so, but you can always cash in on bad nostalgia trips.

>>3242509
>Duke Nukem Forever
>Made by Gearbox

It was a build that 3D Realms made, actually.

>Buying abandonware
Reminder that not a single penny goes to the original devs

>>3242602
Reminder that even as far as current games are concerned, in the majority of cases devs don't get money from sales either. They just get paid to make the games.

Reminder that if nobody had bought Megaman 1 to 6 on Virtual Console, Megaman 9 would have never seen the light of day; and therefore the trend of retro games (by the first definition of the word retro, new games made in the style of old) , aimed towards our taste, would have never seen the light of day.

Reminder that if nobody was buying old FPS games anymore, we wouldn't have it on Steam with online multiplayer and workshop support that incredibly boosted user maps (two of my maps got downloaded between 10-15 thousand times each)

Reminder that we wouldn't be getting a brand new official DN3D episode either

Reminder that we wouldn't be getting the Bombshell prequel game either, a brand new FPS game using the Build engine.

etc

If you're going to try and justify your cheapness, at least come up with excuse that make sense.

>>3242570
They didn't alter it though. They didn't remove said joke, said alien rape level, walltits, double blowjob, or player being able to literally play around with shit in the toiler.

So I'd say it was plenty offensive.

>>3242716
... Pal, retro games existed LONG before Megaman 9. Spelunky was made before Megaman 9. Cave Story was made before Megaman 9. So was I Wanna Be The Guy, Retro City Rampage, La-Mulana, every single RPG Maker retro RPG, every single AGS retro point'n'click... retro indie train was well underway, Megaman 9 was riding it, not starting it.

>>3242736
Megaman 9 was a landmark point because it was made by a big publisher and it sold millions, which persuaded every other big publisher that retro games could be commercial success.