>walk into bedroom >see this wat do?

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>>33232361

>>33232361
Toda vez que eu chego em casa, a barata da vizinha tá na minha cama.

take pictures and call the news. I'm about to become famous for making the first contact with an alien.

>>33232361
Put it back in its Pokéball where it belongs and go to bed.

>>33232361
kill it with insect spray

>>33232361
Put my boots on and jump on the bed

why no love for best bug

>>33232361
Hold hands

It'll be easy, like breaking a toothpick.

>>33232361
How the fuck is this thing sexy? It's made of toothpicks.

>>33232599
We should break it.

have unprotected sex

>>33232532
Mr. Incredible get out

>>33232361
Get a huge fly swatter

>>33232629
No, let me kill this innocent bystander because I love my wife and kids.

>>33232361
Plop down in bed being careful not to crush her and go the fuck to sleep. Let her lean on and protect me. Maybe casually ask if her body is even able for sex and then pass out. Sleep well.

Aerial Ace

>>33232361
Her.

Ah, a bug!

>>33232361
>it's 1.28a
>you faintly remember hearing her say something and kiss you goodnight while you were playing vidya
>at 11.26p
>time to make it worth her wait

>>33232673
>>33232844
What? Are pokemon fucking browsing this board now?

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>>33232376

>>33232361
Talonflame, Bravebird!

Unrelated but can someone post that pic of pheromosa eating a pokebean?

Tell her that my bed is probably the dirtiest part of my room.

>>33232704
this

>>33233002
she cleaned it to be ready for you
and eradicated your bedbugs
there can be only one

>>33232958
Maybe.

>>33232376
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvYI9-LYZrM

>>33232958
Possibly.

>>33233037
Slazzle, huh? I'm going to fucking rape you.

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>>33233050
But, that's just want I want though.

>>33233030
That's nice of her. She's allowed to live under my bed if she wants to.

Chances are, if I'm walking into my bedroom it's because I'm ready for bed, likely very tired. So I'd nudge it to the side and rest. Possibly letting it cuddle if it wanted to. But considering Pheromosa are neat freaks I doubt it would want to.

>>33233086
Fuck, I forgot you were into that shit.

>>33233101
she does want to
but she comes up top, for you

>>33232361
Steal her shorts

>>33233220
I'm a big guy, so I only have enough room in my bed for me. I'm sure she'll be able to manage because her limbs are so spindly, but it'll probably be an uncomfortable experience for the both of us. What's the next step in her master plan?

run

>>33233362
upgrade to four poster bed
the curtains make sure no other bugs get in
she'll stick to the canopy and watch over you
keep you safe
keep you clean

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>>33233142
Heh heh

>>33233409
Okay, but what's in it for her? Surely this unsolicited pampering does not come without a price.

>>33232374
there is a genius behind this and I want to say thanks to the author

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Vexus!!

>>33233469
OCD is weird like that

>>33233537
I see.

>>33232361

Fuck it.

>>33232958
Yes, we are, now anyway.
>>33232361
I use stone edge.

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>>33232361
add it to my collection

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>>33233537
OCD = Optimum Coitus Directly

>>33232451
I came here to post this.

>>33232992
Unfortunately for you he saw a rock earlier and is no longer able to provide such assistance.

one morning gregor samsa

>>33232376
kek

Leave because that thing is an abomination.

>>33232374
I know this has to be a reference to something but for the life of me I can't imagine what it is.

>>33232677
This is the correct answer.

>>33232361
Brave Bird

>>33235924
Jazz.

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>>33232361
*unzips dick*

>>33235948
This

>>33232599
> He doesn't stick toothpicks in his urethra

>>33232361
Tell Dust that his girlfriend is on my bed and that she doesn't deserve him since she's such a sl00t.

>>33235924
bee movie

>>33232361
Thanks Mr skeletal

>>33232361
Stomp the bitch then fuck her corpse

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>>33232361
Yes