Waifumon

>>33099555
You posted her.

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>>33099857

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>>33099555
>posting best milf pokemon as the OP
Unironically my fav.

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Wife(male)

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I'll just leave this here.

>>33100097
Reminder that Missingno. is heavier than even Celesteela.

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>>33100140
>Type NULL wasn't a canonized Missingno
I will never stop being mad at that.

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>>33099555
>>33099941
>illusion Pokemon
>good wife

I dunno, I get the impression that Zoroark would be like that hot girl that's always sneaking around, talking to other dudes and shit. Maybe she never goes as far as to actually cheat, but she always let's you know she could do better than you if she wanted to.

I don't need shit like that in my life. I'd rather have a pure waifu, life Gardevoir, Primarina, or Liligant. Hell, even Tsareena seems like she'd be more faithful, if a little abusive. But I'd rather have a sexy dom as a waifu that a hotwife that wants to cuck me.

Now, don't get me wrong and spurge out. I totes put my dick in a Zoroark. I have one on my B2 team right now actually. I'm just stating my opinion, that's all.

Posting true best waifu, if you are well off enough to own a large pool or live near the coast.

>>33100341
And if you're lucky enough to find one that's female.

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If she cooks, she's a good wife.

>>33100346
just save scum

>>33100341
>Zoroark is extremely protective of those it cares about and will go to any lengths to keep them safe, including risking its own life, and it can hold grudges on those who harm its loved ones.

Zoroark confirmed best wife, convert or be destroyed, heathen

>>33100346
just inject lol

>>33100398
im going to "inject" your waifu with my splooge

>>33100341
>liking trap seal

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>>33100346
What >>33100398 said lol

>>33100389
Well I suppose. But Gardevoir is also fiercely protective, AND it's empathic and a helluva lot easier to find.

>>33100419
>implying game mechanics are cannon
>implying I wouldn't get a female anyway

Have you ever bought any kind of animal before? As long as it's not some tiny shit like a hamster or something, you can easily pick between a male or female. It's not like irl you buy an animal and go "gee, I wonder if it has a wiener or not".

>>33100499
Primarina is THICC af

>marrying a non-human entity

>>33100658
Shut up, faggot.

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>>33100614
I usually hate when that term is used, but in this instance, I have to agree. Narrow shoulders, slim waist, thicc tail. Thicc.

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>>33099555
objectively the best wife

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>>33100940

>>33100940
>>33100998
DO NOT FUG THE AIRPLANE

ONLY HUG

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Literally my kind of girl if she were real:
>Tomboy
>Muscle Girl
>Slightly Hairy puss puss
The only thing missing is that she isn't delicious brown.

>>33101187
Rude, airplanes have needs and desires too you know.

>>33101214
>tfw no blaziken gf to dom you

I can't live this waifuless life

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>>33101187
BOTH IS GOOD

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>>33101312
BOTH AT THE SAME TIME IS EVEN BETTER

And the best thing? She can go invisible, so you'll never get caught "refueling" the airplane. Latias is the best wife, and if you disagree you're both subjectively, as well as objectively wrong.

>>33099941
Holy fuck, sauce?

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>>33099555
Heh

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>>33101558

Being wrong is fine with me then.

>>33101603
I want to peel the banana snake

Zoroark would be best wife, I want to impregnate her

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>>33101615

Peeling is forbidden. And it's lewd.

>>33101603
post more fet snek

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>>33101650

I'm going to assume you meant fat snake, in which case sure. She's the biggest and the best waifu as far as I'm concerned.

>>33101627
I want to _be_ the rusefox waifu

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>>33100940
>>33100998
>>33101187
>>33101312
>>33101558
>>33101651
Mah niggas

>>33101603
Disgusting

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>>33099555
Imagine living eternally in loving service to Xerneas. A little faithfulness, a little hoof-polishing, and she would keep you and care for you for the rest of time. Go ahead, spend a few dozen decades on anything you'd like. You've already found eternal love, eternal life, and the most beautiful creature on the planet, all wrapped up in one radiant package. There's no such thing as 'wasting time' to you anymore.

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>>33101664
two can play this BBW (big beautiful waifu) game

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>>33101683

You can play the game but you'll never be able to win the game. Serperior is the biggest and therefore the best.

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Zoroark is best waifu because she can be anything you want. But I'm happy the way she is.

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>>33101582
Artist's called Emukon, my man.
Just look at those legs.

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>>33101695
Here comes a new challenger

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>>33101707

Milotic should be on the same team instead of making her own challenge foolishly.

>>33101705
Daaaamn, thanks anon

>>33101682
also deer puss

>>33101695
I'd argue with that. I once saw a disgusting fetish comic where Latias was force fed and brainwashed for a year so that her powers could be harvested. At the end she took up the whole room. Pretty sure she was about a 1000 pounds.

>>33101718
>ywn be in between the waifusnek coil

>>33101722
And none of that cheap, woodsy Stantler shit. Premium, grade-A, eternal, legendary deer puss.

>>33101718
Size advantage vs. type advantage? Seems like a perfectly fine rivalry to me.

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>>33101695
B I G G E R

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>Thicc
>Wonderful mouth for blowjobs
She is perfect

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Fucking plebs, there is no best waifu, however the best waifu for you would be that one pokemon on your team that would do anything for you, be it risking its life to save you, or hurting itself doing something just to impress you or get something you wanted, going above and beyond just to make you happy.

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>>33101729

I've seen it too. Do you really think room-filling is an impressive size? Do you REALLY think that?

>>33101747

The world's strongest normal sized Milotic may as well be the world's strongest termite, though. It's not a fair fight.

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>>33101599
>EXTRA THICC

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>>33101776
so basically

>>33101776
Nah. All that matter is fuckableness.

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>>33101776
>Astroboy

>>33101779
>Average Serperior is 10'10" and 139 pounds
>Average Milotic is 20'4" and 357 pounds
>Not to mention coverage moves to fight back
That contest is closer than you think.

>>33101844
>Contrary Leaf Storm

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>>33101844

The average American is 5' 9" but nobody seems to have bothered to tell that to the 13 foot tall guy in the world record book. Average sizes are just that: average. Ordinary. And if you want your Serperior to be ordinary instead of extraordinary then you deserve your boring life.

>>33101851

Is it wrong to want to watch your waifu struggle snuggling with another waifu?

>>33101862
Milotic's only realistic chance is to be Scarf'd/Sash'd and throw a Blizzard, because Serperior can one-shot with Leaf Storm without even needing Contrary to kick in, and if Serperior can avoid getting one-shotted itself it'll win.
>>33101866
I've been on Milotic's side the whole time, though I agree Serperior would win a straight-up fight on type advantage.

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>>33101904

But you want Serperior to be smaller, which simply isn't the case for certain specimens. Nor is it acceptable in the first place.

>fatfag(s) shitting up another thread.

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>>33101779
But can fat Serperior fit
under the table and give you a
STEALTH S U C C?

>>33101928
Really, what's to stop me from making Milotic 30 feet long, or 50, or even 100? Not to mention a ton, or two, or ten? At this point we're just waving our virtual dicks at each other.
>>33101851
This anon has it right.

Snakefags are the fucking worst.

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>it's a "full-blown fat fetishists disguised as "thicfags" ruin another thread" episode

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>YFW not kunoichi GF emerging from your shadow and throwing deadly kunais, every time you talk to another girl.

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>>33101945

>needing to hide how much you love your waifu

Latias can tip arsenic down your throat with her paws, but that isn't really something you would consider a bonus either, is it?

>>33101952

You're getting mine pretty hard with that kind of talk.

>252+ SpA Milotic Blizzard vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Serperior: 230-272 (79 - 93.4%) -- guaranteed 2HKO

You can't outspeed bestsnake without a scarf and with a scarf you won't OHKO. Serperior > Milotic.

>>33101969
this

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>>33099874

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>>33101985
I dunno about you but in my culture it's impolite to get tha S U C C in public. And why would she poison me? I live near a copper mine which pumps so much arsenic into air that its level is 268% higher than it should be. I became immune to it. (No I didn't, I'm not delusional.)

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>>33100097

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>>33100097

>death by snu snu

>>33101985
I checked those numbers again and it looks more like 247-291 to me. Even so, only getting the max output is a one-shot.

I knew it was close, but I thought there was still a realistic chance with Scarf and Blizzard.

If that's the case, then Milotic's best shot is to put on a Sash and throw up a Mirror Coat. Even so, I agree that Serperior still wins the matchup.

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>>33101952
This anon knows what's up.
>>33101904
>Serperior can one-shot with Leaf Storm without even needing Contrary
Do your research, Milotic has crazy special bulk: http://i.imgur.com/wN0jVoH.png

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>>33101603
>>33101664

Is that a snake or a caterpillar?

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>>33102043

>0 SpA Serperior

You might have good taste but you literally wasted a few seconds of my life with that pointless link.

>>33102043
You're right, I did my initial estimate wrong. It's close, but not quite a one-shot.

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>>33102055
It's also a 0SpD Milotic. Stop being pedantic.

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>>33102079

Two wrongs don't make a right. The best thing you could do to make up for it is admit that Serperior is the better waifu.

>>33102101
not the serperior guy but please cool your jets

>>33102018
>that pic where Celesteela blew Kartana

>>33101603
>>33101664
>>33101683
>>33101695
>>33101757
>>33101779
>>33101785
>>33101866
>>33101928
>>33101985
Can you not, please?

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>>33102118
...This guy.

>>33101985
Asshole that's a male Serperior. Get your waifus right

>>33102155
wtf i love that serperior now

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All this Serperior versus Milotic stuff is reminding me of something....

>>33102162
Serperior is your waifu(male)?

>>33102180
Serperior is male only

>>33102180
just shitpostin'

>>33102191
It's funny, I checked Serebii and apparently the odds of female starters has gone down slightly. What's up with that?

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>>33102204
for based male Primarina

>>33102204
gamefreak can't code for shit

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>>33102204
Real answer is that GF is shit at programming

Another good answer is >>33102210 and pic related

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Top tier taste in this thread on all fronts

>>33102211
>>33102223
That's stupid. They better fix that.

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>tfw you picked that goofy little seal and it grew up into a beautiful mermaid

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>>33102043
>>33102055
>>33102076
>>33102079
>>33102101
Anons inspired me to run some calculations. Turns out if Serperior is fully SpA EVed/Modest, Choice Specs, Contrary and Milotic is fully SpD EVed/Calm, Milotic survives Leaf Storm 62.5% of the time, and therefore OHKOs with Mirror Coat, and faints the other 37.5%. Should the Milotic have an item, say, an Assault Vest, it would always survive, and always OHKO with Mirror Coat.
So, standard matchup has Milotic winning 62.5% of the time, since there's never any reason not to use Mirror Coat against an obviously-Specs Serperior, and always wins if it gets to pick an item as well.

Considering type advantage and BST difference, this was way closer than I thought. But, statistically, Milotic will generally win vs a standard Contrary Serperior set even without AVest. Just in case anyone else cared about the specific numbers.

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>dom and rough but loyal waifu

>>33102252

37% better without any boosts is good enough for me.

>>33102252
Not one of those anons, but why did you give Milotic 0 points in HP? Though I guess it doesn't matter since that would only favor Milotic even more. I also took Z-Leaf Storm into consideration and it does the same damage as Specs Leaf Storm.

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>>33099555
Hey everyone, I saw that we were blatantly being furries and thought I'd join in. Here is a bust of an animal I want to fuck.

>>33102204
It actually went down all the way back in gen 3, but I guess no one noticed or cared until recently. As >>33102223 said, Game Freak can't code for shit and when they tried tying the established gender ratios in gen 2 to the personality value in gen 3, they fucked up and the chance of a Pokemon being male ended up being slightly higher than it was in gen 2. Starting in gen 6, this was fixed for Pokemon with a 50/50 gender ratio, but they kept the slight male bias for mostly male Pokemon like the starters, and made mostly female Pokemon slightly more likely to be female to compensate.

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>>33102280
Doh, you're right, I forgot HP EVs. That makes Milotic survive 100% of the time even without AVest, and will therefore always OHKO with Mirror Coat, etc, assuming Milotic isn't running an offensive Competitive set, but those are usually reserved for doubles where Intimidate is more common.

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>>33101971
fat's not a fetish for me, chub just a cute

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>>33102336
I swear to fuck if the fat shit starts again I WILL pull out the other four cards.

>>33102347
You do realize that threatening them with something like that is only going to make them post more fat shit, right?

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>>33101705

>>33102287
>NU waifu
Okay then

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>>33101705
I love this artist but I love Zoroark even more.

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Stop having Pokemon waifus

>>33102428
good waifu anon

>>33102428
I unironically find this meme funny

>you will never snuggle with your beloved zoroark in front of a fire on a cold winter night

Kill me my niggas

>>33101705
Looks like something from the Disgaea games. Which is ok with me.

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>>33102005
My man. Keen it simple, keep it pure.

>>33099874
>>33102005
>>33102533
Your waifu is SHIT. SHIT!

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>>33102287
good taste deerbro

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>>33102546
Oh, well in that case, allow me to post more pics

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>>33099555
audino

>>33102598

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>>33099555
My waifu is a better special wall than Chansey. Beat that.

>>33102546
this

seriously, gardevoir is such a twig. and its in the amorphous egg group. for all you know, it could reproduce by budding.

at least pick something with some cushion for the pushin

>>33102615
>Machop used Karate Chop!

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>>33102627
>twig
>all that ass hiding under that skirt

>>33102647
Imagine a Gardevoir Mega Evolving in the bedroom.

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>>33102675
I do. All the time.

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Waifubump

>>33103831
my gardevoir was digging in my back yard for oil. she came to me saying that she struck oil. i had to break it to her that she hit the septic tank

>>33102287
that's a male

>>33103967
she has a carrot

>>33103974
and a penis

>>33103978
the carrot is the penis

>>33104001
a carrot is a vegetable

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>>33103889
Well shit

Get it?

Well

Shit

Aaaahahaha.

But serious, das nasty.

>>33104042
she's paying for it

>>33104042
she's stupid. she peed on a my computer's PSU to make it run faster. she was knocked 10 feet back from the shock

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>>33104291
Mine peed on me to get me to go faster. It worked.

>>33104393
all i got was a fired computer

>>33104393
I think my gardevoir has a urine fetish

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>>33104509

>>33104612
now how the hell do I approch this to her

>>33104612
i need help now please

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mawilefag here

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>>33099555
Best mom

>>33102598
Audino the perfect SHTF waifu. You'd never need to worry about antibiotics and medicine in general.

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pokestok flight plan

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what we got with the pokestok capsual

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>no pure elegant flower waifus

>>33105606
>>33105706
can someone explain this please

>>33105724
looks like a space flight. i guess for pokemon because pokestok is a twist in the vostok capsual

>>33099555
Toss-up between Infernape, Simipour, Lopunny, Gardevoir, and the humanshaped Psychics.

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>>33104842
good taste

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>>33108996
>humanshaped Psychics.
Mazel tov

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How do you feel about a waifu (male)?

>>33109313
a best

>>33109547
that's a penis
stop that

>you will never impregnate your zoroark

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>>33109624
>tfw you'll never be the waifu (male) of your whole team, getting knocked up constantly
Feels bad

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heh

>>33109755
We'll have to test it.
Repeatedly.

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>>33109727
Best milf.

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>>33109921

That's not Nidoqueen.

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>>33109755
yes

>>33110180
No. It's not.
:^)

>>33101682
>>33101722
the best taste

>>33105715

>Entered thread hoping to see this.
>Was not disappointed.

>>33100668
Kek'd

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>>33104842
>>33109163
I want to feed my Mawile!

is it possible to train my gardevoir to use a toilet. i don't want to keep taking her outside to pee

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>>33100085

Wife = Female.
Husband = Male.

You gender confuse freak..

>>33113115
>his waifu isn't male
fag

>>33100499
Pokémon are not animals.

>>33113115
Female wives are shit.

>>33113120
>>33113146
>>33113120

No. That's impossible!

>>33113174
Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

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>She will never be real

>>33113130
>meme

>>33113339

Truth. Pokemon are not animals and are not treated in such a way in canon.

How would someone get into a sexual relationship with a pokemon? How would that even happen?

Pokemon normally dont talk, which im pretty sure is important.

>>33114623
Feeding a pokemon two rainbow beans usually maxes out their affection.

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I want Audino to mega evolve on my dick.

>>33101214
Pretty sure the Hoenn starters could fall under the "tomboy" archetype.

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>>33114648
>only two
I'd feed her rainbow beans until she starts getting bloated and asks for some alone time
that's when I tell her why I gave her so many pokebeans in the first place

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>>33114959
No. You better take out and make her burn all those calories or you failed as trainer. Besides those Pokebeans are filled with harmful levels of sugar and trans fats.

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>>33113243
>ywn have a giant water noodle to hug and love
Just end me already jfc

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>no lopunny

you all disappoint me

>>33114623
>not-yet-pubescent kid, out on his own for the first time
>has a ton of adventures with the cute little fire chick the local prof gave him
>a few years pass, he's in his early teens now
>his cute little fire chick turned into a tall sexy kickchicken
>alone in the woods with no one else around
Its probably one of those not talked about accepted facts that if you give a kid a waifumon he's going to fuck it

>>33116565
>thinking a chicken could ever be a wife

Bugoc.

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>>33116372
Mega Lop is sexy as fug

>>33117696
shit taste. Chicken is best wife

>>33117719
I just can't fuck anything with a beak

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>>33114623
Some Pokémon themselves can talk.

>>33117764
sorry but you got shit taste my man

>>33113180
>ywn have a beautiful and strong queen as your lovely wife
Why live

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waifu reporting in

>>33114623
Zoroark would be a good wife

>>33116372
>>33117711
post more

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>>33119551
K

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Most of my pics are NSFW so I'm having to dig a little.

>>33119645
>>33119666
Nice thumbnails, what am I supposed to do with these? Use a magnifying glass while I beat my dick?

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>>33116565
Or she is going to have her way with her trainer, with or without his consent.

>>33101682
>>/mlp/

>>33120663
>use a magnifying glass while I beat my dick

You do that anyway, anon

>>33099555
when a pokemon is 87.5% male, these are the correct ways to refer to him:
1. "it"
2. "he"
3. "he" 87.5% of the time, "she" 12.5% of the time
4. "he/he/he/he/he/he/he/she"

some incorrect ways:
1. "she" 100% of the time
2. "he/she"

>>33121869
She

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How about loli Kirlia?
No?

>>33123437
Verlis stop pls.

>>33123479
I feel it's a legitimate question

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>>33123437
Because humans used to be Pokémon.

>>33123437
Why are you assuming unofficial art is accurate?

>>33123550
It's a field sketch, that is what it looks like

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>tfw ordered Salazzle pillowcase, but no pillow
>tfw can't order pillow until the end of the month because out of bank transfers
Yeah, I'm that faggot.

>>33102627
It's a highly evolved squid.

>>33100341
Why is pokephilia thread is becoming more accepted in /vp/?

>>33125558
>Implying I don't already fap to squids

Thanks, Splatoon!

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>>33099555
Imagine an island for pokefuggers like us.
>A place where you and your pokewaifu go on a vacation
>Everyone in the island are always with their pokewives

>>33126449
Because each generation they release more waifumon, and more and more people become pokefuckers.

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>>33099555
So, waifumon thread, what kind of pokephilia movie plot would you make and what pokemon would fit the role of the plot?

I'll start

>Title
The Aura of the Elegant
>Pokewife
Lucario
>Plot
A man in a martial art class has always been training pokemon and human about the ways of self defense for many years. But when a blue dog appear in his life, he began to lose his focuse on teaching her. What makes it worse is that her family will do harm if he doesn't train their dog on how to fight on the next 3 weeks

>>33099555
Me

>>33102252
>Standard matchup
What about leech seed sub serperior? You can't post a meme milotic build that would counter a specific set and not give the equal treatment to best snake.

>>33126449
Because the latest janny is a furfag

>>33126706
?

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My wife is a little scary and heavy, but she can be a lot of fun!

>latias
>serperior
>blaziken
>zoroark
>mandibuzz
All good tastes as well

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>>33101980
>Not even mentioning the fact that she can give you a full-body tonguejob
>Or that she can give you the most stealthy S U C C of all time, even in public

Do you even waifu?

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Shy wife

She's kind of famous though, so everyone tries to take her picture

>>33126530
Its called a furry convention and its a great place to get herpes.

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>>33114897
Sceptile is the serious edgy girl and Swampert is the soft, chubby and dummy girl.

>>33114959
But what if she wants alone time because she's going to use poison gas?

>>33126573
I'd want a movie involving all 3 hoenn starters being tomgirls, but...

>Title
Chick-fil-amie
>Pokewife
Blaziken
>Plot
A trainer tries to pull his Blaziken out of a funk after losing an easy battle at the frontier by going out to train with her, and notices she isn't really feeling it. So he decides to personally spar with her, getting way more than he bargained for when she thinks to become a battle couple.

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BIG

BEAUTIFUL

SNEK

WIFE

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>>33130375
Even Snivy makes for a great waifu

Why is human on Pokemon the purest love?

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Any furbait or >>33102598

>>33132705
Saved!!

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>>33132692
Because male humans cares about the pokemon's heart and not their looks

>>33129025
that's the idea

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>>33114959
Anon please, what if she gets flustered about you tricking her and punishes you?

Will you take responsibility for your actions? even if she ends up enjoying it

>>33132692
Because pokemon females experience heat and male trainers are 10-12 years old are too far from the internet to look up why their pure companion is suddenly moody, snuggly, and somewhat drunk looking when she's near his junk.

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>>33135174
>anthro
>bbw
not if she looks like that abomination of the earth
don't know why I got my hopes up for any good serperior fart fetish art other than that one simp commision

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>>33135912
Why do you think I cropped it out, my man

also plz link

>>33135994
have fun
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/18300741/

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>>33135994
here's a higher quality version of your image, was hoping it was a crop from the resolution

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>tfw can't afford occulus
>tfw can't afford vive
>tfw can't afford proper vr shit
>tfw can barely afford to feed myself

I just want to program myself a happy life with my pokewaifu.

>>33136807
>Implying we are even remotely close to that level of technology
You were born too soon mate

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Nobody is allowed to touch the plumpkin

where i work we hire pokemon and we pay them $1 an hour. we don't pay pokemon much so that makes it cheap

>>33099555
Kill yourselves.

>>33137018
>>33137018
>>33137018
>>33137018
>>33137018

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>>33137056
how about you eat my wife's farts

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>>33137056
Did you eat spam again? You know it makes you salty like the spam itself

>>33137036
im the plant manger. i control those animals and i can work them any way i want. once a gardevoir gave me a dirty look. i took away her once a day bathroom break for 2 weeks. which reminds me. why does she squirm around after a few hours

Keep posting waifus

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>>33137094
I wouldn't mind if a Primarina farts on me underwater

>>33137342
Strong independet fat black snek is best waifu

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Floof

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>>33105638
yes

>>33099555
Ditto

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>>33137350
fucking christ, I rubbed one out not even an hour ago, and yet the mental image your post is giving me is making me feel flustered as fuck
sick bastards like you are why I love this board so much

>>33137056
He was right, and we didn't listen.

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>>33137359
>Oh honey, I'm glad we beoke that anti-pokephilia thread. Now let's make some babies~

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>>33137394
yeah the rest of /vp/ is much worser than the XY era. That's why I'm leaving with my wife

>>33136282
It's a shame this artist is a brony and no longer makes pony art. Another reason why I hate bronies is that they steal one of our favorite pokemon artists.

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>>33137556
*It's a shame that this artists make pony shit instead of POKEMON

Can't believe I missed that

>>33137513
OWO

>>33137394
Such is life

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>>33137379

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Was this the peak?

>This thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut5sk0RUlS4

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>>33137571
>this thread
All you pokemon should be ashamed. It's about time I start my anti-pokephilia genocide

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>>33139404
This

>>33139375
>>33139404
>>33139408
samefag go home

>>33139417
He would, but he's too busy editing (You)s off a screencap in MS Paint.

>>33114623
you just fuck them. they cant tell on you

>>33139404
Oh, the irony in that. You do realize that image was drawn by an artist that draws Lucario porn, right?

>>33121452
in America you fuck pokemon. in soviet Russia pokemon fuck you

>>33139869
>>>/reddit/

>>33139890
filthy capitalist pig

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>this thread

>>33141095
noice

>>33100389
But Gardevoir creates black holes to fuck shit up if it's master is in danger