If pokemon were real

if Pokemon were real they'd be 3DPD

>>31966354
If pokemon were real there's no guarantee they would want to fuck with you to begin with, and you'd probably die either way.

>>31966354
>being straight

>>31966391
>being gay

>>31966391
>implying Primarina and Lurantis aren't male

>>31966383
this, given how smart and social they've been shown to be they're probably as hard to get as real women
and considering even a rattata can bite through steel, good luck trying to rape any of these monsters

>>31966403
>Being straight

The only one I'd fuck here is Lele

She'd be the one fucking me with that big ass dick HHHHHHNNNNNNNGGGGG

>>31966412
do you think they'd be willing to kill me if I asked?

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>Normal people who don't want to fuck pokemon are automatically labelled as a retard with shit taste

>Trying to validate your twisted sexual urges with excuses while making sane people the bad guys in the picture

>>31966410

Male Primarina best Primarina

>>31966412
You underestimate how strong humans would be there for even huge beasts like Aggron or Tyranitar to obey and submit to them.

>>31966423
Being normal is overrated.

>>31966422
uh... I don't think so
Would some random guy on the street kill you if you asked?

>>31966432
the only reason why people wouldn't is because they'd be punished. Nobody would punish a Pokemon.

>>31966413
>Being Gay

>>31966446
>the only reason why people wouldn't is because they'd be punished.
and, you know, a majority of the people don't want to kill other people. It's hardwired into our brains that killing is instinctively bad unless something justifies it.

>>31966429
but those two could just whip you with their tails made out of actual stone and break your rib cage.
Face it, raping pokemon would be as hard as raping actual predators. Go fuck a tiger if you think it's so easy.

>>31966410
>you will never be a cute male Lurantis

>>31966462
Is it so bad if I want to die? I mean I don't want to hurt anybody (and I'm too much of a little bitch to commit suicide), but still it'd be nice if I could just curl up and die you know?

>>31966473
>but those two could just whip you with their tails made out of actual stone and break your rib cage.
Then explain why they hadn't taken over and humans aren't extinct.

>>31966429
>No one is normal

ftfy

>>31966499
I don't know, it's fucking pokemon.
You can say the same thing for half the national dex.

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>>31966354
I was so proud to NOT be attracted by Pokémon but then fucking gen 7 comes out and this sexy devil shows up and now I am a degenerate like most of /vp/ GOD DAMN IT GF

>>31966383
If you own a Gardevoir, chances are pretty high.

>>31966410
Tapu Lele is the only one that's canonically male and has a huge dick

>>31966529
>being proud of being normal
I understand feeling disgusted with being a degenerate, but feeling proud of that is retarded.

>>31966354
>Sex with pokemon
Now that's just disgusting.

>>31966499
Because the franchise purposely avoids applying logic to its own stablished system, otherwise it is obvious that humans in that world would either be enslaved or not exist at all after being hunted to extinction by magical beasts of unspeakable power.

But if that were the case, it would be pretty boring for a monster-catching game without anyone to play as the catcher. You're expected to believe that regular humans and hyperpowered beings coexist mostly peacefully and the former somehow are in a higher position than the later.

Needless to say, if pokemon were real, everyone and everything would die with no possible way to even counterattack or befriend these things. I'm not saying sunkerns or magikarps can take over the world and wipe out humanity, but nearly about every other pokemon stronger than these probably can and will given enough time.

TL;DR - Nobody's fucking a pokemon and that impossibility keeps us alive

>>31966379
This

I don't have sex with animals

>>31966354
yo what pokémon is the croc? i'd suck the sand right outta her vajayjay.

>>31966893
pokemon aren't animals

>>31966461
>being straight

>>31966893
Pokemon can consent though

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I don't want sex, I want to marry Tsareena.

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>>31966446
>Ask your pokemon to do you a favor and kill you
>They start crying

The only pokemon I'd really wan to make sex with is ditto. In slimy blob form or shaped like my waifu.

>>31969671
Well surely they'd know that I'm a useless sack of shit and that both them and I would be in a better place if I was dead right?

>>31969671
>>31969715
I'm fairly certain that if us had a Pokemon who would love us enough to breakdown like that to the thought of our death it would mean we have someone who loves us and cherish us which would also mean our mental health would be tons of times better which ultimately means we wouldn't desire death as we'd have someone and a reason to live for.

>>31969776
In generations those haunter had no problem killing green haired bitch.

>>31969806
That Haunter was not hers though. It was wild. Pretty big difference from owning a Pokemon yourself and raising it and living with it and training it and feeding it and bonding with it for years and years.

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>>31969776
Damn I don't know how the Pokemon would handle being the one thing keeping their trainer from killing themselves.

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>>31969868
It would put unnecessary stress on them
They'd probably try way too hard because they knew they were so precious to you and every failure would tear them apart because of it

>>31970953
That sounds exciting.

I would pretend to be suicidal to see my Pokemon go through a mental breakthrough every single day trying to keep me safe and savor every bit of his despair and suffering.

>>31967886
>being gay

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>>31966354
half of the reason I wish they were real is because they mix the emotional intelligence of humans with the unconditional love of regular pets all in a lovably cute and/or badass package

fucking them would be a huge violation of that mutual trust and I would never do that to my best magical animal friends

also this >>31966379 real animals are gross

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>>31966354
>bestiality

>>31973024
see
>>31967034
>>31969201

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>>31973035
>living organism that feeds on organic matter, has specialized sense organs and nervous system. able to respond rapidly to stimuli.
>not an animal
Furfaggots actually believe this

>>31966354
>sex with animals

>>>/mlp/

>>31973118
Well it would depend on the Pokemon, some would be of the kingdom Plantae or Fungi.

>>31973118
You're... not wrong actually
Still, they can't consent so it's not bestiality

>>31973118
Pokemon are pokemon, not animals

Humans are also pokemon

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>>31975949
Saying they are what they are doesn't make an argument, anon. Also, humans are animals.

>>31966423
Are you talking about gay rights anon?

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>>31973118

Pokemon have near-human intelligence. Not even in the same league as animals.

Also, pic related.

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>>31976141
Im not upset anon. I just find your gymnastics amusing when it comes to
>I want to fuck pokemon
>That doesn't mean I'm into bestiality
>They aren't animals

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>>31966354
Warning that they wouldn't have the anime look and look more like pic related

>>31976307
i bet you think bestiality is bad on the circular logic of "lol animals" or because of a religion right? surely there's no other reason it's considered such a horrible act, like.... the inability to consent, and the fact that they're beings of much lesser intelligence?

>>31966538

Fanon.

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>>31976553
>defending your degeneracy so far you start projecting and grasping for straws
This is why I like these threads, you mentally ill defect

>>31976307
animals don't have magical powers and human-level intelligence.

>>31976617
not only am I not the original person you responded to, but I'm not even a pokephile or zoophile. I'm playing devil's advocate because you're ignoring what parallels do exist

>>31966354
No, OP, I still would not fuck them, because clearly unlike you, we are capable of getting laid by human women.

>>31966429
>normal is a washing machine setting xDDDDDDD