I want to be Hau. How can I be Hau?

Lose every battle and smile.
Hand revives to your rival before key events.
Eat lots of masaladas.
Obtain an Alolan Raichu.

More like,"Hau can I be Hau?". I'm not apologizing.

>>31924901
why would you want to be a brown loser with a donut addiction?

>>31924901
DUDE

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>>31924901
WEED

>>31924901
Get a tan and drink 3 cups of coffee filled with anti-depressants every day.

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>>31925152
Because he's cute and I'm already a half brown loser with an eating addiction. I'd like to learn how to be a cute one at least.

>>31925183
I already take pill antidepressants though

>>31924901
Be a fucking faggot.

>>31924901
Grow hair and get tan.
Change your name.
Shrink yourself.
Malasada.
Be stupid.

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>>31925274
Probably got that covered

>>31925302
Hair isn't long enough for this but I'm working on it. I wish I could shrink myself. I'm pretty stupid. The problem is I'm a fat fuck with an eating addiction, I don't know how he can eat that much fried food and stay slim.

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>>31925192
Hau is not cute unless you are a hardcore autist who browses tumblr. You don't want that man. Just work out and get fit, it might even get you off those antidepressants (not for sure but there is a good chance it will).

>>31925623
but I don't browse Tumblr and I think he's cute. I want to be cute like a cute anime girl or at least a cute boy and I thought shooting for a Hau kind of look would be a good start but I don't know

>>31925723
Real talk, just do some exercising and fit some fruits/veggies into your eating every day.

Doesn't have to be a lot of exercise. A good long walk, a short little run, some push-ups and sit-ups each day. Not enough to tax you, but enough you feel it a bit from all that.

Otherwise be friendly to your bros/sis's and smile when you talk to people. They notice.

Best of luck OP, I hope you feel better.

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>>31924901
Well, Hau is a very good little boy.

Are you a good little boy?

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>>31924901
eat a lotta malasada ha ha

>>31925192
Kukui is best brown

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>>31925723
IF you're not trolling this is wrong. This is a level of social ineptitude that is bordering on the psychotic. I'm assuming you're a boy or a man in which case you should stop entertaining these volatile fantasies. I am almost certain now that if you actually embrace masculinity you could rid yourself of those antidepressents you are taking, most likely because you are trying to embrace something so detrimental. There are plenty of manly figures to embrace in pokemon(if thats what you need) even in this latest gen.

Examples of manly role models(in pokemon) would be Detective Looker or Nanu. Both are pretty bad ass. You also seem to be upset about being "half brown" In which case the fire trial captain is a good option if you really need skin color to connect(which you shouldn't but if it is necessary for you go for it) skip the hair though, his hair doesn't work in real life. You should also be getting out in the real world and talking to people, if something happens that creates an awkward situation take note of it and change your behavior. I wish you all the best man.

>>31925840
top tum

>>31925868
>Looker
>Awesome

He's a screeching turboautist. Nanu is pretty chill, though.

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>>31925783
Thanks anon...this keeps happening whenever I try to, I get fruits and vegetables and never actually eat them, and then I tell myself I'm going to start running, do it one day and then get really tired and never want to do it again. Even if I did do all of that, I still just like eating too much...

I think I'm going to try taking walks again at least. Maybe the key is to not try as hard as I can on the first day so I don't get discouraged?

>>31925830
I-I wanna be...how can I tell?

>>31925840
Well I don't eat Malasada, but I eat a lot of junk food too. Maybe it's possible to be cute like Hau even while I'm still fat?

>>31925887
Lets go on an adventure together and let me cuck you.

Carefully

>>31925886
Looker is a fine alternative in terms of style etc. But you are probably right if OP suddenly started barging into rooms shouting in french he might get locked up.

i want to /ss/ hau!!

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>>31925908
Style is fine, just drop the trenchcoat or he'll get laughed at.

>>31925926
Lmao I forgot about the trenchcoat, okay okay, scratch looker from my post.

>>31925783
>>31925868
Combine these.

Be the awesome dude you want to be. Working hard always pays off and you learn to enjoy it.

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>>31925868
I promise you that I'm not, this is how I've felt for a long time. Is it really getting that bad? I've been taking medicine for a while but they never said anything about me being psychotic. I mean, Nanu and Looker are cool, and there's some cool masculine characters that I've seen outside of Pokemon too lately, like Reigen and Kira, but I don't know. Even when I didn't think about being cute all the time, I was never really happy being being like that, you know? I'm not attracted to it, it didn't make me feel good about myself. I watch anime and some cartoons and see cute girls or even cute boys and they wear cute clothes and they're happy and have so much fun, and it sort of makes me want to be like that. I'm not really feminine physically at the moment either, and I don't feel especially happy.

And, I mean, it's not so much that I need characters to have similar skin to mine to connect to them, it's just that I've always sort of resented it, and it makes me feel not cute. But Hau is cute and a boy and tannish, so he makes me feel like gap between where I am and where I want to be isn't as big, if that makes sense. Would his hair really not work? That's disappointing.

>>31925900
please do not

>>31925908
no you idiot, looker only speaks spanish when he barges into rooms

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>>31925998
Reigen is a good example of positive masculinity, Kira really isn't. Be a mature, fatherly, well-versed person, not an abusive, deranged fuck.

OP, guys who act cute never have as much fun as they do in shows. You're gonna be lonely, very lonely, unless you're gay, in which case I'm sure you could get a group of women to oooh and ahhh over you. But yes, women are generally repulsed by "cute" behavior, especially when it's coming from a guy that isn't cute.

>>31925430
>I don't know how he can eat that much fried food and stay slim
Exercise. If you're going to eat a lot, then exercise that much more to burn the calories.

>>31925998
You are pretty hooked on this idea of being Hau-esque. I'm assuming the reason you have never liked the idea of being masculine is because it takes work to get there, and you have never put forth enough effort to even knock at the gate, it's easy to pick a middle of the road goal . Not trying to be rude just realistic. You can be manly and happy like these "cute" characters you idolize. But in the end cartoons are just that, cartoons. You need to probably disconnect from Anime for a period of time and recenter. The real world is not like Anime, Hau is a clown and exists purely so you can feel you are at the center of attention in the game because of his ineptitude in comparison to you.

Also anyone I have ever known you has the level of energy and happiness you are attempting to achieve is either ripped or lithe. Your body has to be a machine to be that happy, which means you can't eat trash all day. Anyone who is not fit and eating healthy who has that level of joy is likely bipolar and will crash into a depression immediately following their intense surge of joy.

>>31926052
Well, I mean, I already have online friends that I talk to even just as I am, I think I'm okay when it comes to that. Having a real girlfriend or boyfriend would probably be too scary, I'm not ready for that kind of thing, I'm too scared to commit to something like that so I'm fine on that too I think. All I really do is play games and watch anime but I feel like I'd be able to enjoy them more if I could enjoy being myself, you know? If I watch anime and see cute characters being happy and having fun and wearing cute clothes, I don't think I'd feel sad because I'd feel like one of them. Maybe it'll just give me ideas about what kinds of cute clothes I wanna try getting next.

>>31926161
No, it's okay, I appreciate you guys trying to help me...maybe you're right about not wanting to put the effort into being masculine, but at the same time I just don't feel attracted to that kind of thing. I like cute things, so being like that definitely sounds better to me. I guess I've never really been manly or cute before, just kind of fat and self-loathing and not knowing what I want to do with myself, but of the two being cute has always sounded better for me. I know cartoons are cartoons, but I just thought that maybe if I immerse myself in happy things like that, I'd see the world in a happier kind of light. Being out in the real world while being the way I am now just makes me a lot unhappier, it feels a lot darker and meaner and like there's nothing for me to be happy with in it. If I didn't have cartoons and anime and games, I don't know what I'd do.

This thread got sad

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hau is a jungle boy

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>>31926338
Gonna be my last post since you seem pretty set, though I do hope you take my advice. The only reason I've sat in this thread for so long is because I know you can get off those pills if you distance yourself from this empty pursuit. I think those pills are a sign you are chasing the wrong thing(given the information you have provided, it is likely not chemical). But I digress, literally every heterosexual "mans man" in the entire world likes cute things. That's why we marry women and have children, they are the literal epitome of cute.

Surrounding yourself with these artificial cute things like anime and the knick-knacks based on them are going to leave you more empty than you can fathom. I have crawled out of self inflicted depression like the one you are in now and currently am in a state of almost perpetual joy that rivals my childhood. And what I did to escape was I stopped trying to create a life around things that did not exist, I still (obviously) play pokemon and enjoy other frivolous things. But I do not let them act as a base for my happiness.

If you don't want to take my advice at least check out "Maslow's hierarchy of needs" and apply it rigorously to your life, this will keep suicidal thoughts and/or depression at bay if not eradicate it. I want you to live a long and happy life OP.

If you want to take my advice then stop confusing your want for cute things in your life as a need to BECOME that cute thing. Being an actual man is hard but it is infinitely rewarding and joyful. And if while being a man you want to have a cute pokemon key-chain or something, go for it! It's not all overstuffed leather chairs and whiskey, though I enjoy both.

God bless, OP.

>>31925623
Hau is cute, though. Maybe it's just because he kinda reminds me of my brother

>>31926672
is this cropped?

because i'm thinking a huge floppy brown dick should be there.

>>31927161
h-hau does not have a huge floppy brown peepee don't say things like that

>>31924901
I literally go visit Alberto Barbosa's motherland and when I asked about malasadas the people there looked at me like I was asking about water in California, what gives?

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>>31927199
g2 bed gladion

>>31927467
s-stop...!

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>>31927489
it's ok to think other boys are cute!

>>31927517
It is? R-Really...?

But it makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed...

hau makes my heart feel all fluttery

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>>31925125

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Pic related is probably a better goal for OP

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>>31927571
just follow your feelings and heart its ok

>>31928001
I mean it's closer to what I am at the moment but it's not what I want to be

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I want to be Wally. How can I be Wally if I'm a grill?

>>31924901
___kys___

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Hau is best girl.

>>31924901
Be chubby AND trans

>>31928874
u don't.
1. you're probably too fat
2. he's like 10 and you're probably like 30

>>31924901
>be depressed borderline narcissistic asshole
>tfw I'll never be a chill, well liked, happy-go-lucky guy like Hau

>>31930851
Is it possible to look cute like that?

>>31931820
>Chubby girl

Fuck yes, what do you think? Doesn't matter if she calls herself a boy.

>>31931857
Well, I'd still like to be a boy, but I'd like to look more feminine...I'm still scared of taking hormones, though. I hear it does scary stuff to your head.

I want more hau

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>>31930799
Best girls

>>31933971
I wanna be a cute boy girl like them...

Get a few head injuries, smile CONSTANTLY, jump for joy every single time you talk, make sure that you talk far too often, outstay any welcome you get and outstay it hard, avoid ever thinking about anything other than malasadas. If you ever see someone more of an eyesore than you, you're not done.

Why is Hau so FAT

>>31935357
Because he never stops being an annoying piece of shit.

>>31936243
But being annoying doesn't make you fat

>>31931909
I wasn't referring to you, anon. But I really do think you need to differentiate between what you enjoy seeing and makes you happy and what you have to be to make yourself happy. Seeing a baby babble makes you happy, but you wouldn't want to BE babbling, right? People would think you're weird as fuck.

>>31936965
I don't know how, the alternative just doesn't feel better to me

>>31924901
Follow me around against my wishes constantly
Have stupid hair
Talk about malasadas
Laugh about fucking everything like you have a mental problem
Continue trying to be a trainer even though you know you're atrocious

What do Hau's malasadas taste like?

>>31939395
Balls

>>31924901

You could kill yourself, if it's true you really want it, Arceus will take you soul and put it inside Hau.

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about

>>31940029
Really? Are you sure?

Here's the real question, who's worse? Hau or dexRotom? I go with the latter, its line about missing Hau in postgame makes me hate the post game more than the lack of anything to do does.

>>31940134
I like them both