Your favorite Pokémon your darkest secret

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Gothitelle
I want to die

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sea dogger
once when i was really paranoid i came across as stalker-esque

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>>31842429
get out of here S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Espeon
I have to overcome despair with anger to be productive

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Decidueye
I'm so paranoid that some of my friends jokingly say I'm prescient.

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Lotad
I'm a diaperfag

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Audino
I've tried to kill myself 5 times in the past and still plan to end my life this way despite not having any good reasons for it.

>>31842429
Story?

>>31842469
same, I even drew one of the OP pics on the /trash/ thread

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I've hid suicidal thoughts for the better part of 4 years

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>>31842340
Torterra

I'm scared of the dark

>>31842451
>s.t.a.l.k.e.r
only if you give me vodka
>>31842497
it's boring and it's mostly me being bad at social skills like always, but with mental restraints off

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Mawile
I have trouble getting anything meaningful done without somebody badgering me to do so. I practically had to force myself to apply to college.

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Mawile
My parents were abusive and kicked me out at 18. I really can't wait for my father to die so I can tell his family how awful he was to me at his funeral. I think about getting back at my parents all the time and constantly rehearse what I'm going to say to them if we meet again.

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>>31842340
Phantom of the Flopera

I've been eating at McDonald's for my work lunch break five days a week, still weigh 110 lbs, and am somehow not dead

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I once almost burned my entire hand off when I was 8 years old at Yellowstone National Park.

>>31842607
Well now we HAVE to hear the story.

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Banette.
I plan to kill myself soon. Ordered chemicals from Mexico that'll have me unconscious in like thirty minutes and dead shortly after. It's all legit, I've done the research to find a trusted seller and whatnot so I don't have to worry about failure. I've been putting on a brave face for my family and despite knowing about the suicidal thoughts and depression, they know nothing of these plans.
Being an amazing liar has come in really handy lately.

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I posted this in one of these threads before. Not so much as dark, but more embarrassing as hell.

I can't ride a bike. My parents tried to teach me multiple times when I was in elementary school but it didn't work out, even going as far as buying me another new bike in 5th grade, but it just sat in the garage and made me wish they used that money to buy me a new game. They tried guilt tripping me over it like saying my friends would invite me for bike riding as if they'd have a spare one for me to use, or that we wouldn't be playing vidya instead. It's been 15-20 years later but I'm not interested in learning, not that I ever was.

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Shuckle
Honestly, nothing big here. I fap to 2d and take anti depressants. I guess that I pick my nose, I really enjoy it too.

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>>31842340
i'm an eproctophile (fartfag so I don't have to explain that later)
>>31842511
did that guy ever get his computer fixed?

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Furfrou
I roleplay online.

>>31842630
>Being an amazing liar has come in really handy lately.

Any tips?

>>31842630
Why are you doing this, anon?
>>31842638
welcome to my club of "how do i bike." population: me, you, and whoever else still can't into bike[/spoiler[

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>>31842340
Latias
I want to fuck her Latiass.

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>>31842652
same
Actually, wait, I think I know you.

>>31842638
I didn't learn until I was like 12. I have to say you should learn how to, one of my favorite hobbies now.

>>31842679
Elaborate, please.

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>>31842621
Alright then.

>Be me
>8 years old
>Yellowstone National Park, specifically Mammoth Hot Springs
>Parents are busy looking at something else
>I see a dime next to one of the springs and think to myself, "Ooh, free money."
>Reach down and grab it
>Hand almost touches spring, but I got the dime
>Finger burns from dime, so I put it in my pocket One sec for part 2

>>31842696
SaD?

>>31842639

>>31842649 here pretty much on the same boat other than the antidepressants, been to these types of threads so often that there isn't really anything else I could write about other than weird fetishes, assuming most of the people here are regulars so no point on going on about shit I wrote about in a thread nearly a month ago

>>31842703
No, /trash/

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You guys have lame ass dark secrets

My family has no idea I know that my dad isn't my biological dad and that my biological dad hit my mom and went to prison when I was very young. They also dont know that when he got out of prison he tried to fight for custody, failed, and gave up. Then he started his own little happy family and had a son, but the kid ended up having all sorts of issues and was basically retarded. He tried to find me, so i found him and told him to go fuck himself for giving up in the first place and also for being a woman beater. Then I made a joke about his retarded son and told him he wasnt my dad, and he would never get any credit for the amazing people my sister and I have become.

Later, He killed himself with a shotgun. I didn't go to the funeral but I drove 3 states away pissed on the Gravestone.

>>31842727
Oh
Nevermind then

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>>31842735
Why the fuck you lyin

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>>31842607
I have this weird memory of my dad setting my shoelaces on fire with a sparkler when I was about 3 or 4. It was never mentioned afterward and I don't have any burn marks on my feet so I'm guessing it was a dream I had.

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>>31842701
Okay, part 2

>Older sister sees what I've done, and looks at me with a dumbfounded face
>Tell her she can have the dime if she wants
>She says, "I won't tell mom or dad if you promise to not tell them what happened."
>Agree
>Realize a week later how dumb I was and that my sister could of let me burn my hand off or worst
>She introduces me to Pokemon
>All is forgiven

Hope everyone enjoyed. I have more dumb moments if yall wanna hear them.

>>31842654
I don't... really have any, Anon. Deceit just kinda comes naturally to me, I guess.
>>31842660
It's a long, long story. Mostly guilt and regret over the things I've done. And the fact I drove the only person that's ever understood me away.

>>31842630
Dude, don't do it, man

It is seriously not worth it, we don't know what happens after death. Be a good boy and live a life worth living for

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I draw lots of commissioned furry porn

>>31842769
if that's you work, I'd love to see the rest

>>31842735
You sound like a vindictive faggot. You don't know the full story either. Maybe your mom is a fucking bitch and needed her mouth boxed? The fact that he atleast tried makes him better than 99% of the fathers who just bounce and don't even make an attempt.

>>31842774
No, that's not my work

>>31842746
Literally no reason to lie. It's really hard because my family talks about how similar i am to my dad all the time, but I know its not genes. They pretend he never existed and sometimes it's hard to not just tell them I know and tell them he's a dead piece of shit. They also should tell me at some point cause homeboy had genetic heart issues that will likely put me at risk someday.

The only thing stopping me from bringing it up is because of how traumatic it probably was for my mom. She's already hyper-emotional, if this is her coping mechanism to deny it ever happened, Ill let her have it.

>>31842753
no thanks

please dont ever post any of your gay stories ever again

>>31842804
>>31842753
>>31842701
Anon is being unnecessarily rude, thanks for sharing.

>>31842781
>woman beater
>felon
>tries to replace his kids by having another family because he's too weak to keep fighting

Fuck yeah I'm vindictive. But I'm not a bitch. I told him to his face what I thought about him.

>>31842855
why is it so important to do that?
you could just go on and live your life without doing so.

Or, at least, tell me what you got from it, I'd like to know.

>>31842855
You literally just cofirmed that your mom is socially and mentally unstable here >>31842790

>>31842649
as far as the computer getting fixed, I dunno, I don't think I was there for that thread

>>31842918
it was the most recent one I think, haven't seen one put up this week yet, or are you talking about the draw thread, never seen him there

>>31842895
Closure. I was a weakling as a garde-school kid, I knew what I knew but I couldnt tell anyone about it. When he gave up my self esteem was fucking destroyed. It was basically being told "youre not worth it" by your own dad. All the stupid shit I did to belong and be accepted and be liked was because of that damage. I'm strong now because of all the shit I went through as a kid, but my childhood was nothing but suffering.

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Froslass.

I did some incestuous stuff with my sister one time. We never talked about it again afterwards or did anything similar, and I think she might have blocked it out.

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I listen to Pokémon hypnosis

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I am TERRIFIED of balloons, no one but my GF knows. I only told her because she was embarrassed about being afraid of the dark at 21 years old so I told her I'm 24 and I have to put my hands into my pockets when someone is playing with a balloon to hide them shaking. She made me do it for her birthday when she didn't know and felt awful about it

>>31843267
I hope you don't mind me asking, but why balloons exactly? Does the sound set something off in your brain or is it just how they look?

>>31843190
The fuck.....

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>>31843267
KILL HIM

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I used to work for an oral health association, but I got thrown out because I opposed bleaching agents in whitening toothpastes and related products.

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My favorite fetish is unironically handholding

On the off chance your here.18-year old anon from a previous one of these threads that broke up with his self-harming girlfriend after being barked at by /vp/, was there any fallout?

>>31843346
I don't even remember but apparently when I was three, at another kid's party, one kid popped one close to my ear and it freaked me out

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I have an uncontrollable fear of jellyfish

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I'm almost exclusively attracted to fat chicks and I don't give a single fuck

>>31843374
Why'd you oppose them? And why is that enough to kick you out?

>>31843483
I guess that's what happens to the one dentist who doesn't recommend colgate

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When I was on the cusp of puberty, I masturbated to the thought of my sister. I'm still ashamed today.

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I wish for an interdimensional rift to open up and make Pokemon real.

>>31843461
Well ya, they can kill you

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I can't stand being anywhere near a caterpillar, if I see one I scream and jump onto the closest person to me

>>31843537
Kek

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I fap to boxes

>>31843197
What the fuck does that mean

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I wipe my ass with my hand instead of TP

>>31843693
Please be joking

absol
i was gonna be an opera singer until i got an extremely abusive voice teacher in college. the staff of the music department ignored everything and tried to place the blame on me because they were afraid of me suing them. this has completely destroyed me. i can't sing anymore without all these hidden feelings coming back. i already had hardcore anxiety before this but it made it worse. throughout high school and my first couple years of college i had a lot of encouragement that made me believe i could actually be a professional musician, but now i'm just sort of an empty shell and i'm afraid i'll never be able to function in the real world.

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>>31843644
BOO!

>>31843474
Are you fat yourself? I only ask because I'm a fat dude whose mostly attracted to fat chicks too.

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Humans physically repulse me - even in art. It's not so bad that I can't be around people and I'd still be able to have a relationship with someone, but I just can't enjoy media with humans much because of it.
Predictably, this is why I'm into Pokemon.

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absol
back when i was 5, i went to my drug-addict father's house for a week because the whole parental separation thing really fucked me up.

while i was there, he was stuck in an opiate coma for 5 of those days and i couldnt feed or bathe myself at the time. from there, my older half-sister came to visit, didnt take care of me, and instead forced me into sex with her. i wound up crippling his 2 similarly neglected puppies in a fit of rage, which i regret today.

>>31843693
If you work in food service, I'll skin you alive.

Actually, I wouldn't. Risk of poop hands touching me.

>>31843734
Nope, I'm a stick.

I've made friends with people who have the most incompatible morals and views imaginable. whether it be their irrational hatred for anyone who differs in opinion or somebody who just wants attention, but I'm too scared of loosing their friendship that I don't tell them my Issues with how they act/treat others.

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>>31843686
Hypnosis to turn into a Pokémon. Specifically, Zoroark.

>>31843720
Hoy can still sue them, and now you have more of a reason to

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Meloetta

I have only masturbated twice in my life(I'm 18), and I didn't like it either time, so I don't masturbate. I still like reading doujinshi hentai, but I never masturbate to it. I haven't looked at real life porn since the last time I masturbated, which was like a year ago.

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I don't get in a relationship because I'd hate seeing my girlfriend talking to other men

I'd rather sacrifice my happiness than making someone else sad

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>>31843809
forgot pic

>>31842469
____________________________________________________diaper beam lol_______________

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fire badger

I have an incredibly specific and unconventional fetish. I've fapped to it so many times that I'm not sure if I can properly have sex anymore because I don't really feel normal attraction to just a person. It's also unconventional enough that there isn't much material, so horny me has dished out an embarrassing amount of money for commissions.

>>31843908

Same deal here, I just fap to nightly fantasies but I've done it so much I can't even substain them anymore.

I'll post mine if you post yours.

>>31843908
>>31843939
just post it, highly doubt it's going to be weirder than anything else posted here

>>31843711
>>31843782
It probably doesn't matter to you guys, but I do literally wash and scrub the shit out of my hands with hot and soapy water and I very rarely use public restrooms

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I'm too ashamed of myself to bring up my darkest secrets even on a tunisian photo lab

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>>31843908
floor tiles...... ?

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Heliolisk
I desperately wish I had a dick

>>31843990

Post it anon. I've posted stories of myself being so beta that even /r9k/ called me insults that equated to my betaness being legendary and it has yet to bite me in the ass IRL.

>>31842340
Klinklang

If I had dark secrets why would I post them in a palestinian bird watchers' board

>>31842531
This would be perfect if your favourite was a ghost/psychic type

>>31843669
More info, pls

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>>31843669
Explain please

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You guys have really good taste, I love typhlosion and floatzel.
Lately blaziken has really been growing on me.

no idea where I should go in life, and lost a lot of motivation after a shitty first year at college, still attending but not invested in it

>>31843950
>>31843939

Vintage scuba diving + peril. The subject doing it doesn't matter (pokemon are fair game), but there are other small details that go into it, all the way down to the color of the equipment.

Your turn

>>31844245
That's not a dark secret, that's just depression.

>>31844252
I already posted here >>31842649

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>>31843693
If you live in India it's not really a secret. Not only does everyone else do it, but everyone sees everyone else do it.

>>31843826
I made the decision not to a long time ago. It would've just made everything worse for me emotionally. My parents actually almost sued them a while ago without telling me but realized it would've mentally destroyed me. Really the best thing for me to do is to just move on from everything and distance myself from my old school.

Spheal.
Bought the means of suicide a week ago.

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>>31842340
Ive had my boyfriend roleplay Latios. and samurottand sceptile

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>>31844014
A female co-worker that I had been attracted to for years confided in me the story of a dramatic incident regarding her drunk father, and she had started to cry in the office with just me there. I consoled her, as she did the same for me in the past. While I was comforting her, I had gotten excited, and I looked at her face a few times. She had crazy eyes, and I was warning her not to look at me like that, and I kissed her. And then I groped her, and it looked like she was enjoying it. It was a haze and I made myself stop it, my hands shaking from anxiety. I had taken advantage of her. She smiled and said she should be the one shaking. She left work and called the office five minutes later, condemning me over the phone for doing something like that. I thought of the worst possible situation. What if she told someone? What would happen to me? I wouldn't just lose my job. My mother had also been in the middle of a feud with my stepfather since she was certain he was cheating on her, so I decided to start building a suicide device using materials from Home Depot and picking up a helium tank. I didn't go through with it.

Writing this out made me realize that it's still nothing compared to other stories, but it is (to me) by far the most shameful thing I have done, despite the fact that I used an empty baby-wipes box as an artificial vagina when I was a teenager.

>>31844252

Remember the movie plesantville? Imagine that except modern, no absence of sexuality, and the state of the world can't be broken, and I'm a little boy with magic powers. I have a super hot mom who wears standard upper middle class house wife stuff (tight jeans showing off her lovely butt for starters) who's likes her mother-son bonding too much (don't need to go into detail here, I'm sure you've seen plenty of porn about what I'm getting at here)

I can possess her when I want too and alter anything as needed but the world will always bend to make it seem happy and normal. Say I possess her and visit a neighbour while her family is there, I could order a more appealing outfit of my choice to come to life, force itself onto the woman, followed up by me changing up her body via physical contact, sqeeze her boobs and pull them out to make them bigger, slap her ass to make her butt nicer, make out with her to make her teeth nicer, that sort of thing. Do to the rules about everything maintaining as normal, no one will bat an eye upon seeing me do that, at most the neighbour will thank me for the fashion advice and everything will proceed like nothing odd just happened.

>>31844253

I don't have any weird fetishes
happy?

>>31844338
Did you roleplay as anything for him?

>>31844373
>Writing this out made me realize that it's still nothing compared to other stories

Now you understand why these threads exist, that and people needing advice from people who don't know them or those involved personally and so will give less biased advice or not avoiding saying mean things that need to be said.

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Giratina
I have a pretty bad anxiety condition. My parents know and they're helping and taking me to a therapist, but I haven't told anyone that I'm pretty much always afraid of something and that it makes it hard to be by myself.

>>31844444
Nice digits

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>>31844444
I have been visited by the quints of great revelations

>>31844434
I take that back
I like flat chested girls

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Scolipede
I'm horrifically addicted to videogames and surfing mindlessly online. My life would undoubtedly be better if I just dropped them altogether.

Glaceon
I touch myself to the thought of little kids having a bigger dick than mine. Which isn't too far fetched, considering I'm only 10cm erected. What turns me on, I think, is a mix of age difference (I'm 23), humilation and the desire to choke on a big cock.

>>31844373
Goddamn that ending, kek

>>31843824
And where do you find such content anon?

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>>31844443
I pretended I was pic related.exactly like it

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>>31842340
I don't know about a favorite, but I love Magnezone. I don't have any images saved though, so here's a Magneton.
I guess I feel like I'm slowly wasting my life away, kinda like that "I haven't lived my real life yet" image from Kaiji and yet I do nothing to change it.

>>31843840
Are you a guy or a girl?
If guy, I remeber when I was 13 when I first even learned how to get myself off, and I remember the first couple of times it kinda sort hurt and or felt a little discomfort.
After about 4-5 times it has always felt amazing every time, and I've done it pretty much every day for almost 11 years.
If you're a girl... I got no advice for you

>>31843461
Northernlion is that you

>>31842781
maybe his dad was just an asshole who needed the kiss of a shotgun? why are mras always such whiny bitches?

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i'm 21 and it still takes me a full minute to tie my shoes
i have also never shaved anywhere but my face

>>31844399
Thanks. That tradeoff felt good.

>>31844616
No girls on the internet

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>>31844644
at least you even can tie your shoes properly 23 and still can't properly tie shoes

I'm also guilty of the last one because I'm too much of a pussy to take an actual razor anywhere on my body, and I'd rather not have to explain owning two trimmers

>>31844338
>>31844576
tfw too much of a socially awkward mess to make something like this work, you're a lucky girl/guy

>>31843409
When I was a kid, the neighbor snapped a busted balloon in my eye and now I get nervous and uneasy and am convinced that when they pop, they turn into projectile rubber bullets that may or may not hurt your eyes

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>>31844399
Nice, well I guess I'll share mine now too
I've always planned for if I got 1 wish- I have my own pocket dimension wherein it's like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber from DBZ, but in there 1second outside is 1hour in there. So, inside this pocket dimension is a huge manor with everything anyone could ever need, for any situation, and you couldn't die in this dimension except by the hands of another person. But this manor has a special property, a huge database for people that is connected directly to me.
I become a copyboard, any person I see outside of the dimension, I can make a copy of them, exactly like how they are at that moment.
Their copy will be sent to the database of the pocket dimension manor. There I can pull down a menu of any person I have copied to the database, and I could have them say, do or tell me anything I want.
So for my plan, I meet random girl somewhere like a cashier, coworker, random passerby. I look at them and copy them, in the dimension when they are summoned they are motionless and speechless until I command them. These copies also come with everything that person knows. The posibilites with each indivdual are endless.
Need answers for the test? Copy you teacher
Need to know what to say to get that cute girl to go out with you? Copy her and ask her exactly what to say, or just fuck her for fun.
Coworker bothering you? Copy them and beat the shit put of them and reset the copy for later.
Wanna get crazy good in shape and not much time? With 1 second = to 1 hour you could go to the bathroom, pop into the dimension and spend 3, 4, 5 months getting ripped.
Have a certain fetish you want to live out? There is a custom option that allows you to take parts from others and combine or just build your own from scratch.
This whole thing, in case you can't tell, is mostly for fucking copies of girls irl you couldn't land or just wanna fuck.
I've put a lot of thought into this I'm ready if I ever got my wish

>>31844320
Don't do it, anon

>>31844850
>16
MODS

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>>31844850
>I am 16
>Favorite Pokemon is Greninja
It checks out.

>>31844797
Is this autisms final form?

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>>31844850
>people STILL openly admit to being underage

>>31844868
I wouldn't be surprised if there have been weirder things posted in these threads before I started frequenting /vp/

>someone is probably going to make this a pasta

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>>31844850

>>31844576
Literally erect

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>>31844850
>openly admitting you're underage

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>>31844561
Pokehypno.club has them, the forums are pretty dead but the content is still there.

>>31844797
Just use the power of your imagination, anon.

>>31844850
>gren gren
Checks out.

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Diancie
I'm too much of a cowardly faggot to even say it anonymously.

>>31845263

Do it faggot, no one's gonna know who you are.

>>31845272
I'm literally so indecisive and second-guessing myself so much that every time I try I just delete the text.I mean I guess I can admit that I'm a total failure but beyond that I'm too much of a retarded autist to delve any deeper.

>>31845332

We're all retarded autists here. Who else do you think bitches about their problems to a bunch of strangers on a Pokemon forum?

>>31845332
Just don't do it then? Don't make a big deal out of it.

>>31845332
I get like that sometimes, you say fuck it enough times and you'll get around it

>>31845348
I wouldn't if everybody would stop telling em that I need to speak my mind or to speak period. It makes me feel like I'm some defective subhuman or something.

>>31842735
If this is true I feel pretty bad for him desu.

>>31845332
someone literally admitted they were underage here
you'll be fucking fine

>>31842340
Salamence
I punched a baby in the face.

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My father kicked me and my mom out of the house when I was a baby, he got another woman. Still, I see his family and even live with some of them now. I have to see him and his family in some family reunions
There's no such thing as retribution or fairness

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>>31845499
Alright, I need the story for this

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>>31842340
Gourgeist.
I have a fart fetish so severe that I can only get off to other stuff very rarely, and it's impacting my marriage

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I try to be nice to people on /vp/ and keep shitposting to a minimum. I've also fapped to Primarina

>>31842781
No one needs to be abused you piece of shit

>>31845599
A-are you me?

>>31845621
No but Im sure we'd be good friends.

>>31842755
You don't know how depression is. I envy you. I didnt know how normal people like you think until I took antidepressents. But I dont have any medical so all I can do right now is think back to that one day I didnt feel like absolute shit.

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my favorite one as of right now, i don't like the normal version though only the mega version and obviously like everyone else on this board i jack off to vore all day

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>>31843631
Yeah, i always get incredibly uncomfortable when i see jellyfishes even if i'm not near them
Even watching tv
And yes jellicent terrifies me

>>31845702
imagining someone afraid of jellicent amuses me to no end

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>>31845702
I freak the fuck out when I see a swarm of ants anywhere, yet durant doesn't phase me whatsoever for whatever reason

>>31843780
I'm sorry anon.

>>31845646
lostallhope.com

>>31845549
>2 years ago
>At McDonalds with GF
>Going through rough patch in relationship
>We order food and sit at the table
>She starts bickering with me
>"Why couldn't you take me to a fancy restaurant?" and all that shit
>She gets up to go to the bathroom
>Decide to bail
>Go to the big playhouse type thing
>Go into a secluded tunnel
>Put on headphones and listen to tunes
>All of a sudden, a baby comes around the corner
>Like, only five months old at most
>Can see mother waiting below
>Baby crawls over and says hi
>He's pretty cute, play with him a bit (just your typical "Peekaboo!" crap, I was bored)
>Suddenly, GF comes back
cont.?

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>>31842676
actual secret here:
I'm not sure how to express my feelings towards this special someone, and I'm too silent, I'm not funny nor the person I used to be, I remember her exaggerate her lungs dying because I made her laugh for an hour. We never speak, and I've destroyed our relationship by forgetting and ignoring her for a year, recently I've met up with her but she hates me.
The sad thing is, I try to amuse myself, and it doesn't work. I cannot be entertained without somebody. I'm figuring it's maturity and patience along with the regret making me sink, moving on sounds like the ideal choice, but to someone that said that I was different than before, it lurks in me.
Everyday, I feel like a new person. I forget how I even managed, without being social, that is. I forget who my friends were, or who I even am are. It hurts.
Where was I last year?

>>31845806
not like you wronged me directly or anything
besides, since then ive disowned my father. he owes me and my mom $45k in child support, has another family elsewhere with another junky wife and 6 fucked up kids, and has aids. i think he lives in florida now. hes tried to contact me recently now that im beginning to get more successful in spite of him, where i promptly told him to fuck off and die

>>31845738
But i do find jellicent unnerving but frilish i find cute.
And only jellicent makes me feel uneasy.
Tentacool and tentacruel don't

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>>31845844
Jesus Christ dude.

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>>31845854
Just tell her that anon. Even if it doesnt go your way, which as im writing this im expecting it wont, you'll get those feelings out of you and be able to move on.

Serperior
I have an almost perfect relationship, except my boyfriend has legitimate intamacy issues. It's almost impossible for me to get physically passionate with him. I cheat on him with people that aren't afraid to have extremely passionate sex. I've also developed a vouyurism fetish for the same reason, and I've listened and jerked to my friends several times without them knowing. I've gotton off to merely the sound of a bed repeatedly hitting a wall.

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Alakazam
My first sexual experience was when I was 13 in a middle school bathroom with an older girl who sucked my breasts while fingering me. I get disgusted with myself for still being aroused/masturbating to the thought of it and I regret ever letting it happen.

>>31845928

Poor cuck. Hopefully he doesn't smash your head in if he finds out. Even the most passive nerd I know flew into a fit of rage and broke up with his cheating girlfriend on the spot.

>>31845923
do you have a source on those papercrafts? i'd like to make them

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I've recently begun to do things on a part of this site that makes me ashamed of myself and if anybody in another 4chan community I'm in finds out about it I'd be ostracized immediately

>>31845988
is it something on /trash/?

>>31845928
I never understood the need for someone to cheat on another person that they are on a relationship.
If it isn't working out with you both why continue?
Maybe i'm just a robot who silently watches the world around and that made me not know these things

does feeling like shit after masturbating count as a secret?

>>31845952
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55pfiblYdtQ

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>>31844576
>>31844338

>A literal girl (female) openly fucks her boyfriend and roleplays as the pokemon for him and vice versa

You two better fucking not break up.

>>31845844
Eh, fuck it, I'll continue.
>GF walks out
>Doesn't see me
>Knows me too well, heads to the play area
>"Anon, where are you?"
>Still chilling with baby
>She gathers the attention of others
>Other adults start gossiping
>Some are asking her why she's with me
>Overhear her saying she's thinking of breaking things off
>Uh oh
>Make rash decision
>Punch the baby in the face
>Not too hard, just enough to leave a slight bruise
>He starts crying
>feelsbadman.jpg
>Carry him and run towards parents
>"I heard crying! He slipped and hurt himself!"
>Crowd fucking believes it
>GF is actually impressed
>While the baby was being fully taken care of, she kissed me
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>Look back at baby's face
>Looks back with utter pain
>backtofeelsbadman.jpg
>Go home

We broke up five months later. Wasn't worth it in the slightest. I often wonder how the kid's doing.

>>31846026
thanks!

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Skarmory

mine's pretty bad
Aside from lack of job and no gf I'm relatively healthy and happy unlike literally everyone on this boardfr though I'm too much of a pussy to actually post it

>>31846014
Im scum I know. As far as a relationship goes, we have a very strong one with all the shit we've been through. He knows the problem, but i just can't bring myself to come forward with the secret. Sex is one thing, but having someone accelerate your heart with feelings of pure, mutual desire is something I can't stop craving.

>>31843409
>>31843267
Jake?

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>>31842340
I have frequent PTSD attacks.

>>31845923
Do NOT take this anon's advice.

Major spaghetti drop.

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>>31846108
Should keep it up and get AIDs or herpes or something from some piece of shit so when he finally decides to get intimate with you and open up, he gets the biggest burn of all

Fucking faggot

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>>31846052
What am I reading

>>31846052
Christ man.

>>31846052
So THIS is what it's like to be a croissantfag.

>>31846052
Seriously, kill yourself.

>>31846134
I couldn't see it working either way, I'll just ignore it and move on.
We both clearly don't want to be associated with each other, which is fine.

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>>31846052

I know I'm on 4chan but bruh

>>31845499
>>31845844
>>31846052
Screencap for tomorrow's daily cringe thread?

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>>31842340
Furret
Every day I jerk off to my imaginary fantasy where I get transformed into a rich cute petite 18 year old weeb girl version of myself who wears very frilly/poofy dresses, mostly sweet lolita or princess stuff who has a girlfriend who takes care of me that's into cute stuff and cute girls and tells me it's okay to enjoy cutsy stuff (shes usually the one that transforms me or a magic being does) and she gives me plushies, cuddling and makes me feel safe and helps me let down my defence mechanisms, also magic is heavily involved, she teaches me how to do girly things, we also get married and do lewd, I agree to be transformed it's all consonantal and not forced upon myself Also I've started including ab/dl into the mix lately

At the end of the day I just want someone I love enough to let my guard down completely and just have them not make fun of me for the things I like and do.

>>31844624
That's the first thing I thought when I read that post.

Magnezone

More embarrassing than anything but I'm deathly afraid of roaches and whenever I see one, I either freeze completely or go into a stomping freak-out.


I also like to set on fire any undesirable pests (i.e earthworms, roaches and such) for whatever reason. Probably some fucked up habit I acquired from my mother.

>>31846341
Well if nobody else does, I might as well. Because >>31846052 might be enough to topple the pee-pee poo-poo copypasta.

>>31846343
Aaron? Is that you?

>>31846375
it's super effective

>>31846400
No sorry.

Honestly I don't even want to be a girl, I just like cross dressing and eonism but it's easier to get into the girly mindset if I think about turning into one, even stranger as soon as I cum the fantasy stops instantly which is how I l know I'm not trans I'm just kinky I guess

>>31846052
Fuckin' hell m8

>>31846341
This isn't cringe retard

>>31842630
What chemicals? I'm interested

>>31846474
He
Punched
A
Baby
In
The
Face
To
Impress
His
Waifu

If that isn't cringe, then what is?

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>>31846052
nice

>>31846052
She was only with you to go somewhere fancy so she could brag to her friends about it, but jesus fuck anon don't punch a baby are you autistic or something?

>>31846536
He's a Hoennbaby, what do you expect?

>>31846375
I can't stand the sight of spiders and mice I freeze up and feel panic, Snakes however do not bother me one bit for some reason, maybe because they eat mice and spiders.

>>31846005
yes

>>31846555
the numbers don't lie.

But seriously though, why did your mind think it was a good idea to even consider that? why not just stay quiet in the tunnel and sneak out into the bathroom.

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Salazzle is my new favorite Pokemon.
I absolutely can't tell any of my closest friends this because they've all dismissed her as "furrybait trash" and at least one of them has dropped some friends after arguments about the issue.

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I'm getting annoyed with my friends lately, they all seem to parrot each other's opinions just to fit in and talk down to people that disagree, unless it's me

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I fantasize on a daily basis about fucking various Pokemon, especially Noivern

Also Final Fantasy XIII-2 is my favorite FF

>>31846631
that's your darkest secret? jeez your boring.

>>31846611
I'm not >>31846555 but I just didn't know what to do. Some of the people (GF included) started laughing at me, so I got pretty frustrated. Besides, I know what I did was wrong, and I've become a much more level-headed person since then.

>>31846631
>I'm getting annoyed with my friends lately, they all seem to parrot each other's opinions just to fit in and talk down to people that disagree, unless it's me
I've been in the same situation. Our discord has become an alt right circlejerk that continues to prove the horseshoe theory.

>>31846644
I'm also worried to say what mine really is, in case they're in this thread too. They're the type of people that'd check these threads

>>31846660
Hate it when people bring politics into a discussion out of nowhere. Fucking assholes, it's not even about being on the other side, i'm just sick of hearing about it

>>31846613
my normie best friend uses one and i'm not sure whether or not i want to ask him about it

>>31846108
Jamie Kelly?

>>31846660
evan?

>>31846675
I know the feeling, my brother lurks on this shit hole so I can't ask life advice on how to get him to move the fuck out.

>>31846675
You can tell us, most of us have said worse shit myself included.

>>31846675
>Hate it when people bring politics into a discussion out of nowhere. Fucking assholes, it's not even about being on the other side, i'm just sick of hearing about it
It's literally all the time now. It's gotten so bad that people have separated into different groups and don't really interact with each other, even though we've always been pretty good friends. I try to be the faggot standing in the middle of the fence and nobody ever budges.

>>31846686
____________________No

>>31846700
"there are two things in life you don't talk about if you want to keep friends: religion and politics"

I forgot what this quote is from but it helps.

>>31846696
alright fine
I think of killing myself nearly every waking hour, but i'm too much of a coward to even so much as scratch myself. I'm sick of my family and i want to get away, even though they're nice. I dont see things getting any better, my therapist is an unhelpful bitch i cant tell this stuff to because i'll get committed instantly

>>31846676
If a regular dude is using her, it's probably for her ability or really good special attack.
But yeah, seeing one anyway is a fair moment to start asking questions.

>>31846660
>an alt right circlejerk that continues to prove the horseshoe theory
The 2016 election (and all of 2017 so far) has essentially proven that horseshoe theory is 100% correct, just hasn't been worded that way. Both sides have the same final goal in mind - economic stability, job growth, money out of politics - but have radically different on ideas on why we're having the problems in the first place and how to actually fix them.

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>>31846633
Good taste but do not fug the pogeys

>>31842630
I really hope you're also lying about wanting to commit suicide. That's never a good idea.

>>31846723
the stupidity from both sides has gotten so bad that I have barely touched my twitter within the past couple of months

>>31846723
he should probably ask questions first, half my team is waifu mons

>>31846718
Yeah, that's pretty dark. Still better than the pedos and 5-months-late abortionists though.

>>31846718
Sounds like you just need a brake from them, being around family all the time is draining just ask for some space every now and again.

>>31846761
Or he could just move out. That's what I did. Never been happier

>>31846745
it's shit like that is why I'm glad I don't have many friends or use social media.

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>>31845844
>>31846052

>>31846761
It's just one person, and they're pretty much all i see. The entire house aside from my room is a fucking mess all because of them, and they never clean, and it just makes me want to yell at them. They also pushed me to go get help, but i'm afraid of taking antidepressants, the last 4 or 5 had horrific side effects.

Been out of work for years and i'll probably never make enough money to live on my own

>>31846775
Honestly I want to become independent but I'm way too paranoid of getting robbed or fucking up and ending up on the street.

>>31846786
That's rough man, sorry to hear that, maybe you might want to try and do volunteer work or take a class so then at least you get a few hours away from the bullshit, trust me I know what that's like living with someone who is a lazy obnoxious cunt.

>>31846583
Well tell us.
It's anonymous after all, no one is going to trace it to you.

>>31842754
.........Zach?

>>31844797
This reminds me of my vision for the future of humanity. I just want to be a brain in a jar hooked to a super computer that can just simulate whatever universe you want and you can interface with other brains to do shit together, basically the matrix before it became lame.

>>31846836
Volunteer work's not going to put any money in my pocket, and going back to school sounds like a horrible experience. I graduated like 5 years ago, i never want to do that stuff again

>>31846872
Guessing someones name isn't gonna work
Bane?

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I was forced to receive a blowjob when I was about 7 or 8 by my 6 or 7 year old male neighbor across the street because he walked in on his stripper mom doing it to her "boyfriend" the night before and she said that it's what best friends do. What we didn't realize was my mother was on her way to my room with snacks and we got caught. I got in trouble for letting him touch my junk, he got a slap for doing it, and his mom ended up getting sent to rehab where she got discharged early for trying to sell drugs and trying to fuck an intern.

Since then even the thought of getting sucked makes me go limp, and whenever things start heating up and my girlfriend suggests licking the lollipop I can't make myself say yes and we usually have to stop there. We've tried but it's fully soft before she gets my pants unbuttoned. Thankfully she has a couple "off limits" activities so I can say this is mine, but it's getting to a point where she's talked about removing the limits. It's shit because even if I came in ten pumps she'd really like it but there's no way I can see to do it.

Cubone

Not even gonna bother with a spoiler text it's not that dark.

I'm just too nice to people, to where it makes them think that I'm gullible and they take advantage of me.

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>>31846106
DO IT FAGGOT

>>31846891
while it is true you won't get money, you'll get experience and the feeling of fulfilment, trust me on this it will help if you keep busy.

>>31846899
Yeah but the guy I knew talked about that stuff all the time, and I was hoping that he didn't suicide

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I want to fall asleep and wake up in a different life, i havent been happy in over a decade.

>>31846901
You gotta learn to separate what happened from the action itself. Oral sex is a natural and common practice, and you don't need to feel any shame or guilt for doing it. It's all about breaking away and allowing yourself to feel good.
Actually, there's a number of hypnosis MP3s out there that might help, come to think of it. There are sites like WarpMyMind that have lots of therapeutic (and/or erotic) audio.

Nidorino and I was abused by a parent

>>31846496
it may be retarded, but it's not cringe

>>31847019
I dunno, it's pretty cringe in a "Holy Hell, what are you doing with your life?" kind of way.

>>31846901
Just fucking tell her. She's your fucking GF, not some hooker. You're supposed to trust each other.
Work through it.

>>31847075
if he can't find the nerve to say it or have trouble speaking try writing a letter to her explaining your problem

>>31846714
Or just have friends who are mature enough to discuss their opinion while not expecting the other party to agree with them.

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>>31845988
>>31846583
This too, almost exactly

>>31847111
Something about politics brings out the autism in people though 90% of the time they will argue about it if it's every brought up.

>>31847117
So you're from the pokemon trash thread considering your image has only been used there.
>>31845988
Guessing this guy is too even though he was smart and didn't use an image that links back to him.

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Nihilego

If there were no consequences I would kill someone just because I want to know what it feels like.

Pretty boring, I know. Don't really have any other secrets except that I had an e-relationship with a 24 year old man when I was 15.

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I'm a massive furfag that has roleplayed many times with my girlfriend, since I got her into it. We both hate fursuits so at least we can't be judged too harshly. We roleplay as pokemon mainly though. She's short, cute and I think I love her since we've been dating almost a year now.

On a less happy note, I almost accidentally caused a friend to kill themselves, but it's a shit story and involves shitty highschool drama so I won't waste anybodies time
>>31844644
>>31844680
Don't feel embarrassed about it, I don't shave anywhere, but I've grown a few beards off and on, and my girl loves it. It depends on the person, from what I've seen most people have no preference to genital hair

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>>31846985
I know that feeling. I don't want to die, I just want to live a life I know I could never live.

Also great taste, vileplume is a favorite of mine.

>>31847180
Like I said just get friends who are mature enough to discuss politics and not take it personally. You can have some great conversations, getting to the very core of your differing beliefs.

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Ninetales

On top of being a pokephiliac, I also have a diaper fetish

Delphox

Following on the horseshoe talk, I brainstorm different ways to handle the world when both sides will overstep their boundaries. Namely it involves getting rid of both sides as they're taking on each other. Of course, I'm too chickenshit to actually do that stuff so I'll just end up dead or in a dystopic state

>>31847233
i've never shaven because i don't really know how and i refuse to use my face razor anywhere else on my body

>>31846994
>>31847075
>>31847104
The issue isn't that I don't want one, it's the subconscious instant boner kill that happens. Getting sucked off while fucking her tits is probably the hottest thing I can imagine but it doesn't appeal to the little guy at all. We're transparent about almost everything, but there's always things that don't get shared anywhere except an anonymous himalayan rock salt trading forum. If she ever asks why not I'd have no issue telling her the story and that there's no control over it but until then I don't know a good way to bring it up.

Serperior

I mostly fap to pokemon porn and sometimes bestiality

>>31847296
If it really bothers you then you can look up a tutorial, I guess. I never wanted to so it was never an issue. Good luck with whatever you choose to do though.

snorlax
i love ABDL stuff

>>31847296
>>31844680
> not buying a small nose/ear or bikini trimmer for landscaping
> alternatively not having a second identical trimmer with the excuse of the first not holding a charge properly

>>31847353
thanks

>>31847367
>>31847263
pokefucking diaperfags

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I always tell my friends that I love being single but the truth is that at times I feel VERY lonely, and I never talk to girls

>>31844680
Fuck dude, I know that feel. I can do everything but stick with learning that shit. I feel like whenever anyone tries to show me their hands get in the way and it all just goes to shit

>>31847412
the problem is that my pits and groin are forests, i'm not sure a normal razor would help with that

>>31847535
not >>31847412 but I just use an electric razor and it works well for deforesting that shit

>>31847535
Personally, I use an electric razor for those areas. Most of them come with a "long-hair trimmer" edge, which makes it a lot easier to cut longer hair.

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>>31844338
>>31844576

>>31845556
Same, mine is stomach growling and it's literally all I've ever been able to get off to. I've never been aroused by a vagina in my life, they're revolting.

>>31847567
>>31847576
i have one but it's for face use
i guess i can get another one but i'll forget by the time i'm able to

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I've had more cheeky wanks to feralshit than I'd like to admit, but I don't really look at porn or anything nor do I feel the need to blog about it outside of these kinds of threads. I don't have any weird fetishes either, nor do I think I could ever imagine fucking animals IRL, that's gross.

>>31847679
How/why does one ironically fap? It's not like you can show your friends

>>31847726
"I do x ironically" honestly pisses off far more than it it should, it just gives me the impression that the one saying it too much of a coward to own up to anything, it would be like me saying "I only get off to women farting ironically", I know it's a weird as fuck thing and honestly disgusting to most people thing to get turned on by, but I'm fully aware of that, the main reason that people that say they do something ironically pisses me off so much is because I knew this guy who constantly went on about how he only fapped to traps ironically, like holy fuck, I don't care about your sexual orientation or what you get off to as long as it isn't anything illegal, just be enough of a fucking man to own up to it

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>>31847188

>>31847726
>>31847758
?????

>>31842787
Princess Vappy pls leave

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>>31846489
It's called Nembutal.

>>31846872
No, sorry.

>>31848026
Don't do it anon. There won't be any Banettes when you die.

>>31842630
hopefully you realize you're making a pretty big mistake going through with this without actually trying to seek some kind of help beforehand, if your family is that oblivious to it then you're probably going to fuck them over pretty hard mentally

go see a doctor or some shit and at least try to figure out if there's something you can do about depression before you just fucking end it without warning like that, you're not going to find the closure you seek

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>>31846872
>>31846899
>>31846678
>>31846686
Donkey!

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>>31848214

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Metagross
I am actually a massive racist, possibly past /pol/-level

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I'll shoot,

[Spoiler]I'm a grown man with a job where I risk my life daily, and fears are laughed at by others in the same field, and I am morbidly afraid of centipedes to the point where I will near completely lose control of myself upon seeing one. I've hurt my friends getting away from them, as well as nearly tearing down the supports in my home, and waking up neighbors in screaming fits. When I learn of their presence in a place in staying, I will buy upwards of 50$ worth of insecticides, and spend the first few days of my stay spraying the most common places for them. I've attempted a huge amount of things to try and get over this fear, the most relevant ones being commissioning centipede rule 34 and fapping to it, and eating a house centipede. It took me three days to build up the courage to do the second one, and I refused to leave the house for nearly a week after I had done it.[/spoiler]

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>>31848296
If this is legit then you are definitely the winner
That's almost tilefucker level

>>31848296
quagsire: based
dark secret: im with u

house centipedes are the literal worst, so fast, they can bite, hard to spot, massive ugh

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Sandshrew
I am terrified of losing someone. Either it being a family member or a friend, the thought makes me want to cry. I've made a promise to my psychologist that if my mother dies, I will kill myself.

>>31847758
[Spoiler]I have a friend who developed a femdom fetish from ironically posting about Widowmaker from Overwatch shitting in his mouth too much, it was a joke at first, but gradually developed into being a serious fetish.[/spoiler]

>>31846417
I giggled

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I have a very strange memory that when i was a child (7-8 years old) i loved butts. Male butts (and yes im a man). When i saw any adult man i imagined his butt, i remember particularly of my neighbor, he was around 40 years old and everytime I looked at him smoking at his window I imagined myself kissing his hairy ass in my mind. The strangest memory that I have is with my father. I can't tell if it was true or if it was a dream but I remember going into his bedroom during the night and then kissing his ass, and then he saw me and told me to go to my bedroom. Even now I'm 18 I still don't know if my father remember this because it really happened or if this is all in my head.
And talking about my father i remember playing with him and feeling great, I remember him saying at me "don't tell to your mother" even if we were only playing touching (and I had a boner I think). I didn't know what was that feeling when I was child but now I know what it was because it's the feeling that I have when I jerk off.
Well I didn't told this to someone until today, but it feels great.

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oranguru
my 3ds is a japanese import pikachu edition i payed like ~$150-180 for it, not to mention all the pokemon games

most money i ever spent on something i didnt need

i regret it, learned some japanese tho

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Porygon-Z
I fuck my coworkers

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I can't ride a bike

>>31844797
this sounds like catching pokemon if they were people

>>31848622
You a guy or girl?

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Mewtwo

i unironically like edgy character designs in vidya and other media and I don't have the guts to tell anyone. I'm also into weird furry shit despite disliking furries themselves.

femtwo is my waifu

i'm also a huge fromdrone and I have successfully shilled bloodborne to 3 of my friends

new thread
>>31848763
>>31848763
>>31848763

more secrets pls

>>31842735
>Amazing people
>Makes fun of retard half brother and Dad without knowing the whole story
ok

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I got one of my five cats addicted to my second hand smoke. I smoke in the morning before work, and cat will do anything to get near me as I smoke. If i finish without her, she will get pissy and attack my other cats and couch. The worst part is that I've given up on trying to cure her addiction dispite how easy it would be.

>>31843474
same

>>31850157
I too enjoy edgy characters

>>31843840
feels bad man

>>31844511
I feel you

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I was manipulated into having cybersex two years ago on a weekly basis. I know it's not actually rape or anything because I wasn't physically touched but ever since then I don't feel like I can have actual sex, let alone a relationship again. The last one I was in I had a pseudo PTSD episode and had to break things off with my best friend.

>>31842543
Same and same.