Why do I have a strong urge to pull down Chicken-chan's shorts?

BECAUSE YOU ARE A VIRGIN

>>31323136
*pedophile

File: IMG_4093.jpg (171KB, 814x1100px) Image search: [Google]

171KB, 814x1100px

>>31323101
Because you're a degenerate lolicon who needs to go outside more than once a month

>>31323136
>>31323147
or both

>>31323156
thinking about it it's probably better to be a virgin paedophile

File: Hansongonnagetyou.png (75KB, 198x380px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 198x380px

>>31323101

>>31323101
Shut up Gladion.

>pull down Chicken-chan's shorts
>find out she's not wearing any panties
>she begins to cry in front of everyone

What do you do /vp/?

>>31323223
Tell her ill take responsibility and marry her

File: hilda bullied.jpg (868KB, 1600x1280px) Image search: [Google]

868KB, 1600x1280px

>>31323101
Because bullying little girls is fun.

File: XY_Looker.png (89KB, 162x428px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 162x428px

>>31323101
What was that?

File: IMG_3945.png (58KB, 576x720px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 576x720px

>>31323101

>>31323147
Chicken-chan is clearly pubescent, anon.

>no pics

WHY ARE YOU SO USELESS?

File: 1483613256135.jpg (36KB, 284x439px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 284x439px

>>31323152
>says this while posting a fennekin

Why would i pull her pants down when I can give her an atomic wedgie?

File: CZIBhMA.jpg (116KB, 558x340px) Image search: [Google]

116KB, 558x340px

>>31324633

File: 59390951_p0.jpg (574KB, 982x1539px) Image search: [Google]

574KB, 982x1539px

>>31323101
I want Chicken to bully me and kick and stomp the cum out of my balls

>>31323211
No.

>>31327134
Do you want to see her embarrassed with her panties showing?

why is she called choicken-chan? is it because shes a chick?

File: chicken.png (211KB, 441x380px) Image search: [Google]

211KB, 441x380px

Making a fic right now about her shorts already being pulled down and peeing behind a bush, you find her and some "nice" things ensue.

>>31323101
Because you're a pedophile who still haven't been caught and castrated

File: 1478427918812.png (579KB, 800x1498px) Image search: [Google]

579KB, 800x1498px

>>31323101

>>31330693
>boobs

What is this bullshit.

>>31330681
Peeing lolis are my favorite

File: 1480216695739.jpg (264KB, 850x725px) Image search: [Google]

264KB, 850x725px

>>31323101
Lunch on her muff

What would Chicken chans Alola Champion team consist of?

File: Sun team.jpg (62KB, 907x236px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 907x236px

>>31330774
It was this.

>>31330774
Alolan forms of Leaf's Pokemon.

File: whelp.png (1MB, 1465x1169px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1465x1169px

Mind me for not editing this but I'm shocked it's gotten me to write an entire story over a fetish I don't even have.. until now maybe?
http://pastebin.com/DQDLW3Rr
>>31330761
Lets hope it's good. Sorry for shit grammar if I missed something while writing it out but too lazy to edit right now.

What's the lewdest outfit you can give her?

File: 1417331062448.png (147KB, 250x247px) Image search: [Google]

147KB, 250x247px

>>31330916
>rape
And it's trash.

>>31327111
Chicken chan is canonically 11.

>>31330490
she gave hau chicken skin. also, chicken hat

>>31330958
>thinking fucking a little girl wouldn't be rape

>>31330916
Everytime I read the word young I get a boner

>>31331059
Not that anon, but I would be okay with rape if that part about sharing the image and other people wanting to fuck her wasn't there. Vanilla rape is a thing.

>>31330916
>Blood mentioned four times
Despite the fact that I took an anatomy class, dissected lots of guts and dead things, can stomach a whole lot of gross and gory shit, and rarely have anything that genuinely turns me off... Something as basic and natural as blood coming from a vagina during sex is an instant turn-off. I get that it might be hot for the "you just took their virginity" aspect, or maybe the rape aspect if you're into that, but for me that's just an instant "nope", I just don't want to think about blood during sexual situations.

I would recommend breaking your paragraphs up a bit more, the long lengths of multiple paragraphs can feel a bit intimidating to readers and lead to skimming if you're not careful. The fourth paragraph (line 7) especially could have used this due to its length, and probably could have been split into two paragraphs with a few changes in pacing and writing to account for that. Otherwise, it was a nice short fic. I'm a writefag from /v/ so I pay a lot of attention to structure and the likes.

File: fireworks.jpg (11KB, 180x240px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 180x240px

>>31331081
Yeah I already felt that way about the sentence structure and paragraph length, it triggers me too but I know people will have an issue if I broke them up too often.
It's an issue I recognize and can fix just haven't wrote anything in a while.
Writefag from 2013 when x & y came out I got something softer more vanilla for both you and the guy not liking rape if you wish to see it, it's when I was at my "peak" before my want to write died and has the pacing/paragraph length you could wish for in a fic.
It is however yuri of Serena and Shuana so if you don't like it I'm sorry https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9908706/1/The-Fireworks
>tfw no longer have a larger image that someone made specificly for this fic anymore

>>31331158
The structure looks a lot better, though I did skim through it a bit because I'm tired and because I never played much of X/Y so I'm not too familiar with the characters. Paragraph lengths and a good pacing are tricky to get the hang of at times; sometimes it's better to have a longer paragraph if its contents are better kept contained together, and sometimes it's better to split that content across two or maybe three paragraphs. And then the lengths of paragraphs and how they're structured in comparison to other paragraphs also plays into the pacing and flow of the writing, like with sentences but on a larger scale. I think this brief passage helps to illustrate what I mean:
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/373814-this-sentence-has-five-words-here-are-five-more-words
>it's when I was at my "peak" before my want to write died
I know that feel. I went from "writing a fic each week" to "writing a fic every other week" to "it'll be done within this month, I swear" to "it'll be finished when I feel like finishing it" over the course of about eight months. I knew that I wrote at my best when I had something burning inside me for inspiration but now it seems that I only have the drive to write when I have some kind of spark fueling me. It's a cold and empty kind of feel.

>>31331373
>I knew that I wrote at my best when I had something burning inside me for inspiration but now it seems that I only have the drive to write when I have some kind of spark fueling me. It's a cold and empty kind of feel.
That's how I felt at the core of my pumping a chapter out practically every night phase (which I regret since the fic is riddled with spelling errors, repeated words sometimes even right next to each other and how popular it still is to this day after 4 years and no finish.
It has at least 44 views yesterday which is decent for a fic that hasn't been updated of bumped for a good year or 2 now. But back then I had emotion, a passion really when I first started a relationship with a girl back in high school that lasted for 4 years straight up until now for reasons I don't wish to get into, but about halfway into it I lost that passion to write slowly till after Fireworks.
Also if you got to the part of basically you and the goofy haired girl watching fireworks on a balcony you'll know all you need to know.
Also I fear using too many , in my stories, It really makes me seem lazy about cutting up my sentences and a crutch to not know when to break them up.

>>31331429
>Also I fear using too many , in my stories, It really makes me seem lazy about cutting up my sentences and a crutch to not know when to break them up.
I like to sprinkle in a few semi-colons in every so often when a paragraph either has too many commas or if I'm trying to avoid short sentences. They're easy to use, just make sure that the information on both sides of the semi-colon are relevant to each other and that both sides of it are readable as their own individual sentences if the semi-colon were to be replaced with a period. Writing one sentence around a semi-colon might cause you to rewrite the adjacent sentences a bit to account for it, and they're useful for making a short sentence a bit longer (so long as the second half of the semi-colon stays relevant) if you don't like using short sentences (which I don't), but using them too often can lead you back to square one with the comma issue. Judge well and use them when most appropriate.

And as for commas, some authors shit on using them too often and others shit on not using them often enough, it's really up to personal preference so long as you don't spam them everywhere and you use them properly. I like to think of commas as curves in a river (the paragraph), and periods as beaver dams; the periods will pause the flow for just a second before continuing, and commas will "curve" the flow and lead it into a new direction, giving that slight sense of inertia (like while turning in a car) but with word processing in your head. Too many commas (curves) leaves the reader dizzy and looks messy, but not enough will make the flow boring, quick, and straightforward. Sentence length and the information within those sentences also makes this a bit context sensitive, as usual with writing tips, so use your better judgement when writing and structuring to figure out a good balance for what you need.

>>31331059
Consensual sex with lolis is totally a thing